Emerald Storm
by Sinmora
Summary: Sequel to The Color Red: Two Months after Emma returns from the alternate timeline, Emma realizes she must let go of the other timeline. Though her friends try to help, Emma spirals down a dark path, rises up against a new threat, and finds an unexpected ally along the way.
1. Used to be Mine

So, here we are again. This damn story just won't leave me alone, so here it is. Damn this thing, and fuck my drunken whore of a muse for refusing to do anything else. This is a test run just to see what happens and the sort of response I get. All I know is that I haven't been able to write anything of substance (or complete anything) since I wrote The Color Red because it just doesn't freaking feel done. So, let's see what happens, shall we?

Enjoy!

Song: She Used to be Mine by Sara Bareilles

* * *

 _She's different. Her parents may have broken The Savior with the arrival of their son. Her behavior erratic and disconnected. Everyone sees it, but no one can help her. No one knows how. She is the perfect distraction, and with her help, I will rule Storybrooke._

 ** _Two Months After Emma Returns_**

The cold wind burned her face, just like the night she'd saved Ruby from the chimera venom. Her steps faltered, almost slipping on a patch of ice. As quickly as the breathtaking emotions swelled, they disappeared, and The Savior continued her chase. The kid rounded the corner of the cannery only a few meters ahead, and she pushed her burning legs and aching lungs a little bit harder. Somewhere in the back of her mind, a voice reminded her that the kid couldn't have been more than 14 or 15, but the agony in her heart tackle the boy to the frozen sidewalk. The plastic bottle in his hand skittered across the snow-covered road. Dumbass kid shouldn't have stolen from the pharmacy while she was buying cough drops.

He rolled beneath her and threw up his hands defensively. "I'm sorry, Sheriff Swan. My mom's sick." His quivering voice barely impacted her growing rage. She flipped him over again and clicked cuffs around his wrists, ignoring the protests as they imprinted on his skin.

"Emma," David called as he finally caught up to them in the squad car. He scooped the bottle of cough syrup out of the street and jogged over to them, his breath white streams against the darkening sky. "Emma, stop, it's just a bottle of cough syrup."

"David, my mom's sick," the kid explained again.

"Shut up," Emma barked and shoved his head against the frozen cement.

"Ralph?" David grabbed his daughter's shoulder and very nearly flung her to the pavement in his haste to uncuff the boy. "What are you doing, man?" The deputy helped him to his feet, doing his best to ignore the red marks cut into his wrists.

"Mom's really sick. I just wanted to help her sleep," he explained, tearful and snotty in his guilt and shame.

David's hard gaze landed on his daughter as he handed the medicine back to the kid along with a twenty. "Go pay for this. If she needs anything else you ask me, okay? No more stealing."

"Thanks, David. I'm s-s-sorry, Sheriff." He waited for a moment, but Emma had already stalked towards the cruiser, swiping bits of slush and snow from her jeans and jacket. It was way too cold for just that one leather coat, but he'd not seen her wear anything else but gloves and a hat when the wind picked up off the ocean.

"Just go," David ordered and followed his daughter. He grabbed her arm as she opened the driver side door. "What was that?"

"He stole something. I did my job, you broke the law and let him go. I could fire you, ya know," Emma threatened, and something in her empty green eyes told David not to push the subject or she might have made good on her word.

"Emma, this isn't you. What's going on with you lately?"

"You think you know me, _David_? You don't know anything about me because you put me in a box and shipped me off to my own personal hell. So, lay the fuck off of me." An inkling of guilt tugged at her chest as the hurt filled her father's eyes, but the bigger part of her heart hadn't cared.

"You know you can talk to me… if you want, if you need to," David fumbled. The daughter who helped protect her baby brother from Zelena only two months ago had deteriorated before their eyes, and no one knew why. She practically ended her relationship with Belle and Ruby, barely saw them, and spent a lot of extra shifts at work even though the department had been granted a larger payroll budget.

Emma pulled her arm from his loose grasp and glared without speaking as she slipped behind the wheel of the cruiser. The drive to the station passed in tense silence, all except Emma's heart pounding in her ears. How was she supposed to live in this timeline when she had no closure from the other one? The curse only created new worlds, it couldn't bring the dead back to life. Right? Which meant, somewhere in the confusing universe of magic, Ruby dealt with the loss of Regina and Belle alone. Had the time portal reversed time and saved everyone's life while taking her back to the original timeline? What if the curse had done nothing for the other timeline, only brought her back to this one? What happened to Mason if Ruby went kamikaze and got herself killed after Belle died? Had Regina sacrificed herself for nothing? Would no one ever know that she died a hero?

For them.

She died for them.

"She died for me," Emma whispered, too quiet to even reach her own ears. Everything looked the same in her office, but she hadn't belonged there since her return. Everything was the same, everything but her. Even Hook seemed to block out his time spent in the other timeline.

"Emma, your mother and I think you're depressed," David's voice broke through the circular thoughts that raced around her mind most waking hours.

"Good for you." Her office door slammed on the conversation. The blinds had been closed a few weeks ago and protected her from her father's concerned and doting gazes since then.

The worn chair caught her exhausted body. The bottle from the bottom desk drawer topped off the lukewarm coffee she'd abandoned in her quest for cough drops to cover the scent on her breath. The slight burn of whiskey quieted her thoughts, and with another swig of cold coffee and alcohol, she picked up her phone.

"Emma?" The accented voice on the other end sounded surprised. Had she really gone that long without speaking to Belle?

"Have you found anything about that spell?" Emma clipped. She really wanted to hang up, to forget about the spell, forget about the alternate timeline. How could she ever return to her life here? How could she forget Regina? Squeezing the phone between her shoulder and cheek, she pressed the heels of her hands into her burning eyes. Belle's accent cut through the pain.

"I'm sorry, I haven't found anything we don't already know. Why is this so important to you? We beat Zelena before she could open it." Belle repeated the question she'd asked a dozen times already. Maybe if she'd told her the truth, Belle might have looked harder, asked questions she'd not previously known for which to seek answers. Belle wanted to help, eager to prove her worth – even in this timeline, she recovered from a lifetime of being passed from hand to hand as nothing more than an object with which to bargain. She was a fucking human being, not a thing. Just like Emma had been more than a symbol of salvation in that alternate world. Belle would have understood her hunger to return, to feel that validation just one more time.

A thousand words rushed up, flinging themselves against Emma's throat. She needed to tell someone before it killed her. "I just want to make sure it won't happen again." Was that her voice? That strained, tortured sound?

"Emma?"

"I have to go." She ended the call and stared at Belle's name until the device stopped vibrating. She'd only used her phone to text Ruby in the other timeline. She'd never needed it for more. As messed up as things were, everything felt simpler there. She actually felt like she lived for something, for someone. She had purpose, not just as Regina's chosen. The town respected her because of her actions, not because everyone knew she was their savior. She had made a true difference there, but here…

"Sheriff?" That deep raspy voice called to her as the office door swung open.

"Regina," Emma blurted without thinking. Her body surged into action. The chair rolled into the wall, and whiskey-laced coffee spilled over the reports and files the mayor had probably come to collect. "Hi." David squinted at the odd reaction over Regina's shoulder. Even across the concrete room, the change in his daughter's vocal patterns rang clearly.

The mayor rolled her eyes and snagged paper towels beside the coffee pot just outside her office. "You are a toddler trapped in the body of a grown woman," she griped, pulling a few sheets from the roll before tossing it at the clumsy sheriff.

"You don't pay me to be clean," Emma joked. She just wanted a little rise out of the mother of her child.

Regina's dark eyes narrowed across the desk, hand stilled atop the mess. "I wasn't aware it should be included in your job description. I have filed so many brown pages since you took office, I almost believe I'm living in the Enchanted Forest using parchment again."

Emma placed her own towels on the desk, hand so close that her pinky grazed Regina's. She'd done that recently, touched the mayor in subtle and seemingly innocent ways. If Regina noticed, she hadn't minded because she certainly would have vocalized her distaste by that point. Leaning forward, green eyes locked with brown. The sorceress' flickered with confusion, just like they had in other timeline when she misunderstood the emotions of the situation. They were the same person, but this Regina created 28 years of peace in which to heal from the wounds her mother inflicted. She learned emotions but still struggled to read them without manipulating them.

A fire ignited in emerald green, a storm as sudden and violent as a hurricane. If she kissed Regina, the mayor might have kissed her back. She might have believed Emma. If she told Regina all the secrets they'd shared, would she have been welcomed with open arms or shunned because of the mess they'd made of their relationship in this timeline by fighting over Henry. If she kissed her, would memories rush back, memories of them only kept alive in Emma's mind?

Emma blinked, breaking the spell, and dropped her gaze to their touching pinkies atop soaking wet paper towels that reeked of booze. If Regina remembered them, she also remembered killing her mother and the massive mind fuck Cora committed against her alter self. She remembered how she tortured Emma in that nexus of magic in the isolation room. She remembered the harrowing loneliness of her mother whispering in her ear every day that she wasn't worthy of love.

Regina straightened her spine and lifted her hand to glance at the silver watch on her wrist. "You may bring them to the house tomorrow during dinner. Henry is feeling neglected and wishes a private dinner with his mothers."

Emma smirked. She'd gotten to her, but Regina still held her tongue. Was it even possible for this Regina to love her? "I'll be there."

"Of course you will. Don't forget those reports." Regina spun on the toe of her heeled boot.

"Wait, where are you going so early?" Emma chased her around the desk.

"It's five o'clock, Sheriff, which means I'm going somewhere that is not my place of work," the mayor snapped, crossing her arms over her chest as she turned to face the mother of her son.

"Yeah, but you never leave before six." Emma tucked her thumbs in her back pockets, awkward now that she'd regained Regina's full attention once more.

"Robin and I are having dinner, if you must know every detail of my life. Henry will be at Granny's with Miss French and Miss Lucas if you care to spend time with him."

"Why didn't you ask me to stay with him?"

"Perhaps if you'd bothered to return his call earlier this week, that arrangement could have been made."

"Shit. I forgot. I was going to…"

"I have no idea what your problem has been lately, Ms. Swan, but if you wish to be a mother to my son, then be his mother. You're not allowed to check in and out of his life when it's convenient. You're hurting him. It stops now, or this arrangement we've civilly maintained shall be terminated. Am I clear?"

"Regina, I'm sorry that I've been distracted. It's just…" This wasn't her Regina. Well, she _was_ her Regina, but not _her_ Regina.

"Dinner. Six o'clock," the mayor snapped. "Don't be late, and do try your best to be sober." Sharp caramel eyes flicked to the mess on her desk and then back to the glassy emerald green of their savior.

"I won't be late," Emma promised.

Regina's eyes narrowed for a long moment, but she said nothing else as she turned on the toe of a leather boot and stalked out of the station.

David took a breath to speak. "Shut up, David." For the second time that hour, Emma ended the conversation with a slamming door.


	2. Stay 'Til Morning

Here ye be, lovelies. Thanks for all the reviews and excitement. I'm not certain my heart is prepared for the level of angst this story requires.

Song: Memories by Within Temptation

* * *

Emma shivered again, but this one kept going, vibrating her entire body. She watched Henry laugh again through the partially closed blinds at the front of the diner. A glob of whipped cream from his cocoa stuck to the side of his mouth, unnoticed as he smiled at whatever story Belle spun. Gone were the world-weary lines and sadness Mason carried. She knew now that giving him up had been the best possible thing for him. Though she knew that choice would eat at her for the rest of her life, she'd protected Henry's innocence – and apparently herself from a slow death from drugs and prostitution. Her body convulsed from the cold, and she turned away from the happy scene. Long strides took her towards her apartment as quickly as the stiff joints in her legs allowed. She wanted to go inside the diner. She wanted to spend time with her son and friends, but she also wanted a drink, to forget that she'd loved other versions of them.

She'd never forget. If she forgot them, that meant she'd forgotten The Queen. The phantom pains of yearning, she never wanted to let go of that feeling. Some people never got one chance to feel that way, but she had found it, she'd felt it. The loneliness of slipping into a cold, empty bed almost made her want to forget. The longer she flopped and tossed, the stronger the urge to forget became. She could have slung back another shot or two until she felt nothing.

"I love you."

The bed dipped as Regina lowered herself behind Emma a moment before the weight of an arm pressed on her ribs. Emma closed her eyes, spilling hot droplets onto the bridge of her nose. She'd gone to bed hours ago, but no amount of drink could have made her sleep that night. It had been a bad day. That kid hadn't deserved to be treated like a street thug, and David had expressed concern because he loved her. They all loved her, but none of them could have helped her.

"Emma, Darling, talk to me," Regina whispered into her ear. Wet lips brushed the shell, sending a shiver down her spine.

"I can't do this tonight," Emma answered the delusion. The spicy scent of whiskey followed the desperate plea. She hoped Regina couldn't smell it. The lunacy of the thought worried a tiny voice of reason in the back of her mind. She'd lost it, gone completely mad.

"I don't understand, Emma. Please help me understand, so I can help you." Her mind conjured the words easily. The Queen sought so often to understand her emotions, her reactions, her kindness.

"Regina, not tonight. I'm seeing Henry tomorrow. I can't do this anymore. You're gone. Everyone from that timeline is gone. I watched you die. I watched Belle die," Emma stated firmly. In convincing Regina, she knew somewhere in the back of her mind that she actually convinced herself, her subconscious. Regina hadn't touched her like that since she'd crushed her own heart.

Regina pressed a kiss to her shoulder. "I'm right here, Darling."

Emma nodded but held everything else perfectly still. She never turned around anymore. Regina never stayed if she turned around. "I love you."

"I know," The Queen whispered. "Sleep now. I'll not let go." She pressed her palm tightly against Emma's chest, securing The Savior in an embrace she'd never really feel again.

"You should have let me die, Regina." Grief and regret cracked her voice, spilled more tears onto the bridge of her nose.

"I couldn't," The Queen whispered and nuzzled the back of her ear. "Not after I knew what it felt like to love you, to love anything. You'll recover, Emma. If I'd lost you, I'd have become a monster again, and the peace you fought for would have been lost for eternity in the new curse."

"But I'm The Savior."

"Shh." Another kiss on her shoulder. "Sleep, Emma."

"Will you stay until morning?"

"You know I can't," Regina responded with a tone as forlorn as the grief in Emma's heart.

"Lie to me," The Savior begged.

"Sleep, Emma. I'll be here when you wake."

She wasn't. Emma knew she couldn't stay. Once her mind slept and reset the exhaustion barely kept under control, Regina always disappeared. Sometimes she managed to go days without needing to hear her voice, to smell that earthiness that always clung to her. But, two or three nights every week, she pretended. She allowed her mind to pretend. She tried not to because it confused her actual reality. It confused the Regina she wanted with the Regina who knew nothing of how deeply they'd fallen in love. She confused the tortured woman with the woman who now smiled more than she scowled. She confused the woman who loved her with the woman who loved Robin Hood. She looked for that spark in her eyes, that undeniable, unshakable force of True Love that she'd seen in The Queen's eyes. She wanted Regina to look at Robin that way. When she gazed at him the way Regina had looked at her in unguarded moments, then all hope became futile.

She might have found closure, if she'd just once see those eyes look at someone else. Regina never looked at him that way. She saw fondness and love, yes, but not True Love. He made Regina happy, though, and Henry like him well enough. The Robin from the other timeline surely hadn't possessed his own heart. Plus, she never saw Roland anywhere, perhaps he turned evil from grief if his son and wife had both died. Either way, the man she saw now was not the same man who had slit Belle's throat, who had destroyed all chances of them winning the war against Rumplestiltskin.

He wasn't, was he? She drove herself nuts with theories, but the truth eluded her, probably for the rest of her life.

Emma set the coffee pot and stared at the trickling brown liquid. She didn't even want it, really, but habits dictated her actions since her return. Habits kept her focused and functioning. No one could have coped with what she'd gone through, right? Not even The Savior. She'd been tortured, nearly died, discovered secrets that would blow even this timeline apart. She needed more time. Time and distance eased all pain, she knew from experience. Could time erase the memories of the only time and place where she'd ever truly been happy in her miserable existence? Could distance erase what it felt like to truly belong somewhere, to be who she wanted to be without societal expectations?

Stormy green eyes glanced around the empty apartment. David and Mary Margaret had moved out shortly after Neal was born. She enjoyed the solitude, and no longer felt the need to lay perfectly still while the memory of Regina whispered gently into her ear, sang to her. Emma knew only she heard the ghost of her dead lover, but if she'd responded in any way, her parents probably would have heard her. They barely slept at all the final weeks in the apartment with her baby brother up all hours screaming for her mother's tit. It made the constant state of hungover almost unbearable, all the screaming and shushing and singing.

A quiet tap at the door cut through the circular thoughts, and Emma rolled her eyes. "Go away," she muttered, not loud enough for the person on the other side to hear her.

"No," Ruby's voice called through the wood. Fucking wolves and their supersonic hearing.

"Why are you banging on my door so damn early?" Emma grouched, still not moving from the spot directly in front of the coffee pot.

Metal scraped metal a moment before the tumble and click of the lock being disengaged. The door swung open, but Ruby remained on the other side. "It's 10 o'clock," she informed the grumpy sheriff.

"Why are you here?" Emma snapped, still not turning completely to look at her.

"Belle told me that you called last night, and that you sounded really upset. I'm worried about you, Emma. We all are," she explained and finally crossed the threshold since her friend hadn't screamed or thrown anything at her. She closed the door and leaned against it to study the hunched shoulders and thin frame of the once-vibrant woman who had breathed hope back into their lives. "You're not eating, the circles under your eyes tell me that you're not sleeping. I haven't even been near you in the past couple months, but I can smell the whiskey on you at a distance, so I know that people are starting to notice that their sheriff and savior is also moonlighting as the new town drunk."

"People should mind their own business," Emma murmured, still mesmerized by the trickle-spurt of coffee.

"Emma." Something in Ruby's voice caught her off guard. Something deep and painful and wanting touched the woman she used to be, and she turned around to find large, chocolate eyes shimmering with unshed tears. "Emma, something is happening. Since that night at the diner when you clocked Gold. It's okay if you don't want to talk about it, but don't shut me out."

She looked like Regina. Emma saw it now, she saw everything now. The thin, defined nose and dark, smoky brown eyes. Ruby's eyes held far more innocence than Regina's, but if their secret ever surfaced in this timeline, everyone could have seen the similarities… even Mrs. Ginger with her huge bottle cap glasses. The hair, especially, shared genetics. Ruby's hair looked silky and fine, like Regina's.

Emma touched it.

Ruby stood perfectly still, save the wrinkling of her forehead.

Stormy green eyes slipped shut, blocking out the face, as soft strands slipped through her fingers. Her stomach lurched. A hot brand of pain constricted her chest, and a strangled sob tore at her throat. Grief, kept so close, surfaced – an unrelenting hunger that could never be sated. A soft, warm hand touched her wrist as a tear dripped onto her cheek. Red-rimmed green eyes opened, but the brown that met them was too dark, just a shade. Just enough to recognize the person who touched her. Ruby's own eyes shimmered slowly, feeling the pain without knowing the cause.

"Emma, talk to…"

"Don't," she begged. Her wet, breathy voice filled the small space between them with palpable sorrow. "Please don't ask me what's wrong, Ruby."

"Why?" The wolf whispered, afraid to break the enchantment that brought her friend home for just a moment.

"Because I'll tell you," Emma answered honestly. Another tear trickled onto her face, but neither moved to wipe it away. A flash of Ruby's face puffed up from chimera venom exploded behind her eyes, and she closed them quickly. If she connected the two timelines, Ruby would have remembered that pain, that near-death experience. She'd have remembered the betrayal of her husband and those she trusted most. She'd have felt Belle's blood on her hands while the love of her life died in her arms.

It was selfish of Emma to want them to remember, and she felt selfish shutting them out when they knew nothing of what she'd been through.

"Will you eat breakfast with me?" Emma asked, stopping her thoughts in their tracks. "I don't want to talk. I just… I just want to eat breakfast with someone." She missed that. She missed eating meals with a family, even with Cora's treachery ever-present.

Ruby nodded once. "Okay. Bacon and eggs and silence, it is."

Emma gave a snort that almost turned into a grin.

Ruby sat her on a stool at the island and then poured a cup of coffee for both of them. Emma watched her move around the familiar kitchen. She stared into the pan as bacon sizzled and popped, intentionally keeping her back The Savior. She slid two plates onto the island and stood across from Emma with her eyes on the food, ever true to her word.

"Can I ask one question? Not about what's going," Ruby amended quickly. She reached out to touch Emma's forearm, stopped, gripped the edge of the island. "Well, kinda, but not really." A sheepish grin spread on the insecure wolf's lips until she pulled the lower one between her teeth.

"Go ahead, I guess." She followed the permission with a violent stab into the yolk of an egg. Metal scraped porcelain, and Ruby winced at the sound scraping her sensitive ears.

"Have you been avoiding me because you don't want to talk, and if I promise not to ask, will you stop avoiding me? I know that's technically two questions, but they're linked."

A deep sigh pulled on Emma's shoulders as she stared up at her best friend. "I can't talk about it. I don't want to talk about it. And honestly, I don't know about the last part. I'm just trying to figure out how to keep moving. I'm tired of people asking if I want to talk about it."

Ruby made a zipping motion across her lips. "I won't ask again, and neither will Belle. Ya know, if you ever don't want to be alone. You don't even have to talk. You can just, ya know, sit there and scowl at the T.V. or something."

Emma nodded as she turned puffy green eyes back to food she no longer wanted. She needed to move on, and reconnecting with Ruby and Belle felt like the best place to start. They'd never asked her to be anything more than just Emma, not their Savior or princess, just the broken woman who fit snuggly into a friendship with two other broken women.

"Can I ask you a question?"

Ruby shrugged as she brought coffee to her mouth. "Sure," she chirped into the mug.

"Do you think things would have been different for Regina if she'd had a sister growing up?" Emma watched the mug freeze, just a microsecond, and the skin around her eyes tightened. This Ruby knew about her heritage.

The wolf lowered her mug with extra grace and control, the only indication that Emma rattled her. She sucked air through her teeth and winced. "A sister like Zelena? Probably would have been worse."

"Maybe a little sister. Someone to teach horseback riding and how to braid hair. That kind of stuff without the magic," Emma pushed, and Ruby nibbled her lip, eyes everywhere but the sheriff's.

"Like, someone to confide in who was always on her side, you mean?" Emma nodded and took a bite of bacon, calculating every unspoken response to the scenario. "I mean, I guess things could have been different, but what good is it wonder what could have been different now? We're in Storybrooke and the war is over and Regina isn't evil anymore, so…" She shrugged one shoulder and poked at an egg with the other hand. Ruby still felt guilty for turning her back on Regina in this timeline.

"Yeah," Emma responded and dropped the issue for the moment.

They ate in silence. The sheriff choked down the food, washing every bite with coffee. She hadn't experienced hunger since returning. She missed being hungry, joking around with Ruby over a burger while Belle scowled at both of them and daintily chewed a salad or chicken breast. Royals loved to obsess over their food, Regina always had in both timelines. Emma wondered if this Regina named her meals, probably not since she'd never had house servants in this world.

Despondent green eyes glanced up to find Ruby studying her, maybe waiting on comment about the taste of the food. "It's good," Emma murmured, waited until the insecurity in Ruby's eyes slipped away, and dropped her gaze back to the yellow goop covering the mostly full plate.

It wasn't a queen's breakfast, but she wasn't alone.


	3. Apparition

Sooo, you guys ready for this because my heart wasn't ready for this. Things may go a bit slower than my usual pace because of my new job and original stuff I have to write for grad school and life. Oh, and I started taking cello lessons, so that's a wonderful time suck that also leaves my fingertips aching. So, I apologize for the slowness of updates. If I had my way, it would be every day like my usual style. That said, Enjoy and leave me some love!

Song: Whiskey Lullaby By Brad Paisley and Alison Krauss

* * *

The clock ticked. The second hand always recoiled a bit with each passing second forward. She'd looked at analog clocks her entire life, how had she missed that one little fact? Each second forward, the hand moved so forcefully, that it ended up further back than where it leapt. It felt important to Emma. She sipped from the tumbler in her hand. Ice bumped her upper lip and nose, clinked into the bottom. The time read 5:04 and 34 seconds, so she poured another shot over the ice and settled into the couch to continue staring at the clock. She promised not to be late; Henry needed her not to be late. She needed to dull the pain of spending an entire meal with Regina. She rolled her eyes at the soft tap on the door.

"Open up, Love," Hook's voice called through the wood.

"It's open," she called back.

"You look worse than a tavern after fleet week. It's an improvement," he complimented with a cheeky smirk. He planted his hand and hook on cocked hips directly in her line of vision between her and the coffee table.

"Do you even know what fleet week is?"

"I've watch the magical contraption." He pointed at the T.V., but Emma just stared at the clock over his shoulder. "Heard you were going to see your boy tonight."

Emma shrugged and tipped the glass back. Hook's hand covered hers, prying loose cold fingers before she refilled the tumbler. It thumped onto the table as he slipped his hook around her upper arm and then grabbed the other hand with his. A certain gentleness in his touch crept beneath the numbness and wrapped a warm hand around the very emotions she sought so desperately to freeze and shatter. Swallowing the ache of tears in her raw throat, Emma followed the subtle pressure against her arms.

"You can't see your boy like this, Swan. Get up, take a shower, fix your hair. I'll wait."

Emma fell into him as she stood and flung her arms around his neck. "Alright, lass. Alright." He hugged her tightly until her grip relaxed and then pushed her back slowly. "Come on, love, at least change your clothes. Those smell like they spent the night in a barn."

Emma nodded and allowed him to lead her upstairs to the bedroom. She stared at the bed, remembering Regina's ghosting touches the previous night, the soft whispers that chased away the pain. "Get out," Emma warned, her voice deep and raspy. This space kept Regina alive.

"I'm a gentleman, Swan." Modesty fell low on her list of worries in that moment.

"I said, get out!" Emma screamed. She whipped on the pirate and shoved him into the dresser by the door. His hook scraped the top as he caught himself – big blue eyes wide with shock and maybe a hint of fear. Emma's chest heaved beneath a blanket of stringy blonde hair. "Get out of this room," Emma growled.

The Savior reached for him, but an invisible force reached him first as her magic reacted to the threat to the delusion that kept Regina alive. The pirate flew towards the stairs in a heap of leather and limbs. His hook caught on the railing, but his back skidded over the first few steps. Emma clasped both hands over her mouth, trapping a sob within. Metal scraped metal as he groaned and sat up three steps from the top. He twisted with a grimace of pain around his eyes, and she lowered her hands, stretching them towards him without taking a step closer.

"I'll just wait downstairs, then," he mumbled without lifting his aching body. He touched the back of his head, winced, and then moved his hand beneath his leather jacket to his throbbing ribs.

"Hook," Emma gasped.

"It's quite alright, Swan. I've had worse. Luckily, my devilish grin wasn't harmed."

"I'm sorry," Emma blurted and grabbed her jumping stomach. She recognized the beginnings of hyperventilation. "I'm sorry," she whispered, but he knew it wasn't meant for him. Like a prayer into the dark, she sank to her knees and repeated, "I'm sorry," over and over. Bent over her knees, the sheriff's forehead almost touched the floor as she rocked, arched back showing ribs beneath the trademark white tank.

The pirate knelt at her side and set a hand between her shoulder blades, following the manic rocking. "Swan."

"I'm sorry," she whispered again, and he wrapped his arm around the front of her shoulders, careful to keep the hook pointed away from her quivering body. "I can't do this," she confessed.

"You're drunk, love," he answered softly, "and this is grief talking, not you."

The broken women felt so small when she collapsed into his chest. "I left them," came the tiny, shattered sob from his shoulder where her mouth landed.

"We fell into a portal, Swan," he comforted her. He knew her pain, after all. The Mariana Trench of things he'd done after Crocodile murdered Milah buried Emma's magical mishap.

"No, I left them. I wanted to stay there." She sat up, looking for composure in any mercy that granted it. "I wasn't coming back. I left Henry for Mason and I wanted to stay with The Queen instead of coming back to Regina. I didn't want to come back, and now I'm going to lose all of them. I deserve to."

"Swan." He ducked to meet the maelstrom in bright green eyes glowing in the dimness with unshed tears.

"No, Hook. You don't get it," she screamed at the pirate and then collapsed into him again when another throat-ripping sob tore free. "I gave him up, and then I chose another life over one with him. If he knew… If any of them knew." She hiccupped and grabbed the lapel of his jacket. "I chose a world where my little brother didn't exist. I chose a world where Henry, Mason, went through the system. I stopped looking for a way to come home because I didn't want to be here. I never wanted to be here, even after the curse broke."

Hook found his tongue thick and heavy when he tried to respond, so he held her closer and waited for the storm to subside. Emma's broken heart came from her actions as much as The Queen's, and he knew no antidote to that particular malady. Emma had to learn to live with her choices.

"I can't see them like this," she said a few moments after the ugly crying stopped.

"Then let's get you sobered up," he offered helpfully.

"No, like this." She sat up and dropped her hands palms up onto her lap. "It's not the first time I've lost control of my magic. What if I hurt someone?"

"You'd never hurt the lad, Swan."

"Not intentionally, but I've also avoided staying in the same room as Regina for more than five minutes." Emma stood before he responded and retreated downstairs to the phone she'd abandoned on the coffee table.

Regina answered on the second ring. "I suspected you'd cancel," she snapped as introduction, and Emma's heart plummeted to the floor.

Emma's lower lip quivered, and she swiped her face with an equally trembling hand. "I'm sorry, Regina. Something happened. I was getting dressed to leave and I lost control of my magic. I almost threw Hook down a flight of stairs."

"I presume the pirate survived unscathed," Regina clipped. Something slammed in the background, the oven maybe.

"Yeah, he'll be fine, just some bruises. Anyway, I just… Tell Henry I'm sorry, and that I'll make it up to him."

"That won't be necessary, Ms. Swan. I hadn't told him you were coming." Emma saw the heavy sigh that followed, pictured Regina with one hand braced on the counter with her hips slightly cocked as she controlled her anger. Regina had wanted to believe in Emma without breaking her son's heart, and she'd disappointed her.

"Regina?" Filled the awkward silence.

"Good night, Sheriff."

Emma breathed into the phone, though she knew no one else on the other end heard her. "I'm sorry," she whispered.

"Swan," Hook called gently before a coarse hand scratched over the skin of her shoulder. "You could always tell them what happened, Love. They needn't know you fell for The Queen."

"How do I explain how we got back? We don't even know how the spell works or what it would have taken to open the time portal on the other side. Regina would want to know, and Belle wouldn't be able to sleep until she figured it out." She knew her friends, even if they knew nothing of who she truly was.

"Aye, and perhaps they'd find a way to return."

"Return to what?" Emma whirled on him again, and a brief flicker of fear flashed across his clear blue eyes. "Regina is dead," she stated firmly, voice a deep timbre of grief.

He took a step back and raised his hands. "Alright, Swan. I just thought knowing how the cards fell might help you find closure."

"It would, but we'd also risk unleashing two Dark Ones on this realm. I can't risk that. I can't lose this world, too." Clenched fists released as the tension drained from her body. "I chose that world, and now I have to condemn it to save this one." The weight of two worlds settled onto her thinning shoulders, too much for even Emma Swan to brook alone. Defeat stared her straight in the eyes, and up to this point, she'd stared unflinchingly into its dark abyss. She'd faltered, and when she fell into those dark depths, no one would ever have seen it coming, save him.

"So, what do we do?"

"Take me somewhere," she said. The softness in her voice clung to her sanity, the last shred she attempted to save. Their foray into an alternate world sufficed to nothing but shore leave to him, but to her… "Hook?"

"Aye, Love. Your moods are as unpredictable as winds in a hurricane." She scowled; he smirked and held out his arm, slipping his thumb beneath his belt. Emma took it, allowing him to lead her wherever his heart desired.

It desired rum. Of course, it desired rum.

Two shots in, she forgot to be sad as she laughed at him trying to balance a spoon on his upper lip. Three shots in she poured the next shot, sloshing cheap amber liquid onto an already sticky table in the back corner of The Rabbit Hole. Six down, she broke into her own rendition of "Drunken Sailor," and Hook tried to follow but didn't know the words. He cheered enthusiastically.

"What will we do with a drunken sailor?" She paused dramatically, and the pirate leaned forward, wondering what other joke his mates played on the poor chap. He'd already been shaved with a rusty razor, left in a long boat, stuck in the cellar. It sounded like a good time.

"What, Love?"

Emma slung back another shot, losing track of the count, losing grip on her grief, losing Regina for just one goddamn perfect moment. She grinned for a moment longer, letting the rum burn, and then yelled, "Put him in the bed with the captain's daughter!"

"Them's fightin' words, Swan," Hook shouted back in glee, emptying the bottle into their glasses – a half shot for each. "So's this," he grumbled but made no more to retrieve more alcohol. The Sheriff needed a night of respite, and he'd succeeded. Lifting his shot glass, he smirked to find glassy green eyes struggling not to cross. "To fine mates and cheap rum."

"Cheers," she whispered through a genuine Emma Swan smile and clinked her glass. He sipped the rum in one long, slow gulp and watched her sling it back dramatically. Girl meant to give herself whiplash. She completed the full motion and leaned elbows on the table. Her chin fell into palm, a bright, drunk sheen of bliss glazing her silly grin and unfocused eyes. The Savior's friends disproved his methods, but they'd achieved the level of reprieve the grieving woman needed where their touchy-feely approaches failed.

Charlie flashed the green light of last call, and Emma groaned. She dropped her forehead to her arm and rolled it back and forth. "I scheduled an eight o'clock shift tomorrow. I'm definitely going to still be drunk." He chuckled but stayed comfortably seated. They had a bit of time, still, before Charlie kicked them out.

"Hook, let's go be pirates," she said and raised her bleary eyes.

"I'm already a pirate, lass," he teased.

"Teach me how to be one. We can pillage and plunder and trick Regina into enchanting The Jolly Roger to jump portals." She grinned, a mischievous thing that stretched into the emerald eyes struggling to focus on his face.

"Let's get you home first. Perhaps use your communication contraption to ask David to take your shift."

"Good idea." With uncoordinated motions, she pulled the phone out of her back pocket and laid it on the table. One arm at a time, Hook managed to get a coat on her body while she squinted at the glowing screen and poked at it. He tucked her close and consciously ignored the disproving or disgusted stares from the patrons closing down the bar just like them. They believed them more intimate than the reality of their situation. Maybe before Emma found herself in the gently violent fingertips of love, he'd have jumped at the chance. Like him, The Savior chewed at her own leg to free herself from the ghastly aftermath of love on her soul. Like the green of infection in a wound, love slowly destroyed her defenses until nothing remained but to cut it out or die. He knew that pain.

At the door, her energy rejuvenated, and she poked at the lock with an unsteady key. He let her, she didn't need his help, and the little chuckles amused him. "Night," she mumbled. The door gave way beneath her weight, and he laughed again as she stumbled into the apartment.

"Good night, love."

Emma waved at the crack in the door and rolled against the cold wood when it clicked shut. In the darkness, she fumbled for the light switch, something firm beneath her back. Why couldn't she have just slept there? The door would have held her up all night, right? Emma giggled at her own thoughts and flipped on the light. All levity slipped away in the illumination. Regina had never appeared downstairs. She wore a beautiful maroon dress with short sleeves and a high neck that left everything to the imagination. Emma knew every inch.

"Not tonight. I feel too good to need you here tonight," she slurred at the apparition and threw her weight forward, surprised when her body moved too quickly and spun her vision into a blur.

"You missed dinner with your son to get drunk with the pirate?" Regina stood and crossed her arms. She looked tired, like she'd been worrying for hours with no outlet for the jittery energy.

The heated stance lasted only a few seconds until Emma fell into her, arms tightly around her neck. "I'm glad you're here," Emma murmured into her neck. "Can you stay 'til morning?"

"Absolutely not," Regina clipped and pushed at Emma's ribs, but the other woman's death grip around her shoulders made the effort futile. "Ms. Swan, unhand me this instance."

"Lie to me, Regina. Tell me you'll stay." Emma kept a death grip around her shoulders with one hand and buried the other in dark, silky hair. Regina felt so real that night, so _there._ So visible and touchable and compliant to her deepest needs of holding her and touching her and smelling her again. She smelled different, like expensive perfume instead of the earthy scent of sandalwood.

"Emma," Regina protested the kiss, turned her head to the side. Emma followed, catching the hands that tried to push her away and tugged Regina closer. One broke free, slapped at her shoulder, fell victim to The Savior's superior physical strength a second time. "Emma, stop!" An invisible blast knocked the drunk woman to the floor. Hazy green eyes stared up at the heaving queen clutching a bruised wrist to her chest. Reality crashed into her, the reality she wanted to believe anyway.

"Regina, I'm so sorry." She raised onto her knees, hands extended gently to put the other woman at ease. "I swore I'd never hurt you like they did. I wouldn't," she declared as the tears started to fall. "Regina, I wouldn't. I'd never force you, you know that. I'm sorry. I just miss you so much. I'm sorry."

"What the hell are you babbling about?" Regina demanded, a dark edge slipped into her voice, one she'd not heard since her first week in the isolation room. Emma squinted harder at the spooked woman taking a step back. "Who the hell has been filling your head with stories, Sheriff?" The title sounded like a reminder, a warning to who she used to be.

"Sheriff?" Scales slid from crystalline green eyes, leaving only clarity and fear. "Regina? What are you doing here?"

"Charlie called Ruby because he was concerned. She called me because she made some asinine promise to never ask you what's wrong," Regina explained. Her voice remained cold, but the sheer terror and pain and violence swirling in her eyes, though, told Emma she'd have preferred to say nothing and rip out her throat. Even in this world, the threat of sexual violence paralyzed the broken woman. "Stay the hell away from my son, Ms. Swan," the mayor threatened a moment before she disappeared in a swirl of purple smoke, leaving behind her coat and gloves neatly folded over the back of the couch.

"No, no, no, no, no. NO!" Emma crumpled to the floor in a heap of limbs and tears. Everything bubbled and boiled beneath her skin. The pain of losing Regina all over again searing her soul. She felt it building, filling her bodily from toes to calves to hips. It reached her belly in a lurch that left her heaving acid, but nothing physically happened – nothing but that uncomfortable, unrelenting pressure of grief. It touched her chest, stole her breath, and constricted her throat in a tight grip until it forced the expulsion of a hollow, terror-filled, "Regina!" echoing into the night.


	4. Run

Hello, my loves! Thank you for all the new follows and reviews! This story is tricky, so picking my way through it is an interesting challenge. Also, I'm starting to do this twitter thing, so if you want to follow me, my handle is AmberwritesWV. It's mostly weird thoughts at this point, but soon I'll figure it out.

Enjoy!

Song: Fix You by Mysha Didi and Get Away by Jessie J

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Emma wanted to be anywhere else – the magical nexus, under Cora's thrall, stuck in a cell with Leroy. Exactly anywhere but standing on Regina's stoop, hungover and guilty from her actions the previous night, sounded like a good place to be. White breath wisped and disappeared, blending with the door. She tried to just go, get the hell out of town before anyone noticed her absence, but it all felt wrong. She'd left Ruby and her parents and Henry a note at the apartment, but she needed to say goodbye to someone. She'd left them letters because _they_ needed them. She needed to say goodbye to Regina, goodbye forever, because _she_ needed it. No one needed her anymore, and maybe without her constantly mucking up plans with Henry, he and Regina might have found a stable family with Robin and Roland.

No one wanted her, not like this, least of all Regina.

Lip trembling, she touched the door. The cold burned her fingertips. "Goodbye," she whispered. A second later she nearly leapt off the stoop when the door opened.

"Do you intend to freeze to death on my porch?" Regina snapped from the top of the stairs and crossed her arms against the cold rushing into the warm foyer. Emma eyed the intentional distance kept between them but made no move to close it.

"I came to apologize for last night, and… to say goodbye. I'm leaving Storybrooke for a little while," Emma explained with her hands clasped tightly behind her back. The last thing she wanted Regina to remember of her was something aggressive and ugly.

"Why?" Regina asked, shocked.

The reaction reminded Emma that she spoke to Regina, not The Queen. She'd have been tossed into the isolation room and mutilated by that point if she'd ever touched The Queen the way she'd grabbed Regina the previous night. This Regina processed the incident, gauged the cause and effect with maturity and logic than emotional backlash. She hesitated, but on some level, this Regina knew that she'd have never acted that way without being severely emotionally compromised and drunk off her ass.

"Because I'm dangerous," Emma said simply, and Regina inhaled sharply.

"Come in, Ms. Swan. You're shivering," the mayor offered bluntly and turned from the doorway. Emma listened to stilettoes tap against hardwood and then porcelain. She'd gone to the kitchen. The Savior stepped beyond the threshold, lingered in the cold for a few seconds, and closed the door softly, carefully so as not to scare Regina again. She'd never dreamed it possible before the alternate timeline, but now, now she knew how afraid Regina felt most of the time, how lonely and scared of rejection and herself and intimacy.

Regina raised an eyebrow when she finally made it to the kitchen but said nothing as she set a steaming cup of cider, fresh off the stove, onto the island. "Henry isn't here," she said softly and turned back to the stove to dip a mug for herself. Emma knew presenting her back, her vulnerability like that, made a statement that she'd never hear aloud. Regina accepted her apology. They'd always acted that way with one another. No matter what sort of toe-stomping came between them, they moved on so easily; they'd seen too much pain and horror to turn their backs on someone they knew to be reliable if given half a chance.

Emma lingered in the doorway despite the peace offering. "Why don't you hate me? I crossed a major line last night, Regina."

"I'll help you learn control of your magic," the former royal offered, still not able to face the woman who practically attacked her the previous night.

"Why would you do that?" Emma stepped into the kitchen, careful to stay on the other side of the island.

"Why did you save me from an angry mob after you broke the curse?" Regina asked just as seriously as she faced her former arch nemesis. Something deeper caught Emma off guard in those soulful caramel eyes – a slight fear and reticence, yes, but something else, something she'd not expected. Something she'd learned on the other side of that portal, how to read the subtle nuances of Regina's eyes. Regina wanted her to stay?

"Because I know you," she repeated the words she'd implored her parents to comprehend when they'd suspected Regina of killing Archie. Just more of Cora's fuckery. The skin around Regina's eyes tightened, and Emma tried to understand. Was this what The Queen constantly felt around her? Befuddle and bewitched and terrified. No, Regina shared her confusion, she saw it. "And Henry had been through enough, I didn't want him to lose you, too," Emma added, hoping to dispel the strange silence.

"I agree. Whether I like it or not, Ms. Swan, you're part of my son's life." She waved a lazy hand in the air. "I may have misspoken in anger last night."

Emma almost laughed at the silent conniption Regina had just spitting out those words. A snarky jab about actually getting a halfway decent apology bubbled and popped just beneath her throat. She hadn't the energy to rile Regina. She was tired, too exhausted to expend energy on teasing. "What do you mean?"

Regina grunted, a solitary rumble in the back of her throat. "After Daniel died, I grew angry. I lashed out when I had no other outlet." Emma held her breath, afraid to destroy this one perfect moment. Regina hadn't spoken about Daniel to her since their return from Neverland. They'd made a helluva team there. Regina picked at her mug with a calculated thumbnail, eyes carefully averted to the steaming cider. This woman was not The Queen, not even close. They'd grown into two completely separate people during the 28 years of curse.

"You've followed exactly in my footsteps," Regina finally said and leveled those agony-ridden brown eyes at the stormy green studying her. "I haven't a clue what happened, but I know what it feels like to be abandoned when you most need one person to weather a storm with you. My life might have been quite different." She lifted one shoulder and destroyed their intense gaze to stare into amber liquid in a blue mug.

"She died," Emma blurted, immediately gaining access to those light brown eyes again. Shock registered on Regina's face. She opened her mouth to speak, found nothing came out, and searched Emma's turbulent sea green eyes instead.

Emma held her gaze as steady as the voice rolling over her tongue, forming the words she'd never intended to speak. "She…I didn't know that I loved her so much until recently. I didn't know things could be that way with her, but…" Emma wiped at wet cheeks with cold fingertips. "I fell in love because I finally gave her a chance to love me back. She was so afraid that I'd abandon her, that I couldn't love her because of the things she'd done in her past, but…"

Emma gave a little shrug and smiled into a wet, breathy sigh. Bright green glazed with sweet memories of stolen kisses and whispered secrets. "She didn't know how afraid I was that she couldn't love _me_. That's why I never told her how I felt."

More tears trickled onto her cheeks, and Emma let them fall from her chin, more afraid to break eye contact with Regina than to allow the other woman to see her pain, her weakness. "She died," she repeated softly because she hadn't the strength to project anything louder.

Regina blinked rapidly, dispersing her own tears before they fell. "I'm so sorry, Emma."

"She has this smile," Emma continued, caught in a trance of memories that all seemed to replay perfectly in the reflection of Regina's eyes. "When she smiles like that, everyone in the room just stops to stare because it's so rare and so beautiful. It doesn't happen very often, but when it does, it's like… it's like feeling sunshine for the first time after a long winter."

A small smile tugged at Regina's lips despite the single tear trekking down her cheek. "She sounds wonderful. Why had you never mentioned her?"

"I…" Emma choked on tears, shrugged, shook her head. "No one here knew her."

"Last night, when you said you missed me, were you talking to her?" Regina spoke cautiously, careful not to portray anger or judgement for Emma's lapse in sanity.

"You look like her, dark hair, brown eyes. I didn't mean to hurt you. Is your wrist okay?" She glanced at the appendage in question to find a dark blue sleeve blocking her view.

"Just a bruise," Regina set her mind at ease with her tone while telling her the truth. She loved that about Regina, she never lied to her no matter how much it hurt.

"I'm sorry. I'd never… I didn't mean to grab you that hard."

"What was her name?" The mayor steered the conversation back to the original destination.

Emma froze. This very reason dictated her desire to keep everything to herself. She wouldn't be responsible for crashing Regina's life in this timeline, too. "There's a letter for Henry in my apartment. Make sure he gets it." Emma bolted for the door. Sharp clicks followed her.

"Emma, wait, I'm sorry." Emma stopped in the middle of the foyer. What else could she have done when Regina spoke to her like that? No, it wasn't The Queen, but some form of this woman held her heart. Regina was right, they knew each other. They knew when to push and when to leave and when to break open the walls to instigate healing. Emma could never have found closure while staring into the eyes of the woman who died every day. She needed to go. "Don't go without saying goodbye to him."

"I can't. I don't want to give him hope that I'm coming back," The Savior admitted, not able to turn and look the love of her life in the eyes.

"Emma Swan, you will not run away from him because you want to run from your pain. If you need time from Storybrooke to heal and gain control of your emotions to control your magic, then take it, but you do not get to walk in and out of his life like that. You made the decision to stay, and you don't get to take that back. I won't allow it, even if I have to curse this whole damn kingdom once more." Regina commanded the room, and Emma felt no choice but to face her. The former royal looked raw, she looked… scared?

"Why does it matter to you so much if I stay or go? Isn't this what you wanted?" Emma baited her, using anger to cover the ache.

"Yes, before Henry got attached to you. Before you broke the curse. Before…" Regina crossed her arms, guarding herself as she ran out of steam to fuel her own anger.

"Before we became friends," Emma read between the lines Regina couldn't bring herself to cross. A muscle in Regina's neck jumped as the vein on her forehead popped, belying the emotions she refused to show.

"After the curse broke, you were the first person who called me Regina. I wasn't just the mayor or the queen, I was a person." Regina shifted uncomfortably and clasped her hands in front of her hips, a nervous tick both Reginas retained from Granny.

"You've always just been Regina to me," Emma said, her voice soft with the ghost of her lover. She'd said that exact thing when she'd released her from the magical cuff, that Emma had been the first person to see the woman beneath the title. "If you ask me to stay, I'll stay."

Regina inhaled through her nostrils, once again shocked by The Savior's words. What the hell had gotten into Emma Swan? "Why me?"

"Because you're the only person in this town who wouldn't say it if they didn't really mean it."

Regina opened her mouth, and Emma's heart surged adrenaline into her fingertips. A sliver of light found a crack in the darkness. It grew into a beacon, a lifeline in the storm, a direction to travel. As quickly as the illumination soothed her soul, darkness crept back with each passing second. Regina's face fell slack, each muscle taking time to ponder the ramifications of the decision before one by one giving up on the tortured, lost soul begging for mercy. When the verdict reached those soft caramel eyes, Emma bowed her head and held her breath against the tears that threatened her last show of bravery. No one here wanted her, not really.

"Promise me you'll come back for him," Regina implored, completely extinguishing any light left in the crack of hope Emma almost found.

Emma laughed out loud, a harsh bark that rippled in the quiet moment. "He never wanted me, Regina. He wanted a hero. Now, he has you."

"I'm not a hero."

Emma smiled, took a moment to really study the unsure, searching woman Regina had become. Emerald lingered on the tired lines around her mouth, caressed bewildered brown eyes, kissed the adorable emotion vein on her forehead. The intense scrutiny confused Regina more with each passing second. The Savior blinked rapidly, splashing fresh tears onto her just-dried cheeks. She'd seen many expressions in Emma Swan's striking green eyes, but she'd never seen that… softness? Emma's lips parted slightly to release a wet breath in the space between them.

"Yes, you are," she whispered. In the moment it took Regina to recover from the enchantment those eyes cast, Emma disappeared out the door in a puff of frozen Maine air.

"Stay," she breathed too quietly for her own ears to hear, wishing on an empty foyer with no fairy to grant the silent plea.


	5. Break Me

Wow! So much great feedback. Keeping your guessing caps on. I decided when I started this story again that it was go big or shut the fuck up, so be warned.

Song: Break Me by Cassidy Dickens, Say Something by Great Big World & Christina Aguilera

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Emma stared at the faded orange line that marked the boundary between her reality and the rest of the world. She wanted to go. Her heart screamed for it, beating against her chest with iron fists until the pain became a numbed throb. Folding her arms over the steering wheel of the trusty yellow bug, she laid her head down and breathed. Just breathed, no hysterical sobbing or holding her breath to avoid screaming or exhaustion from being the many roles everyone expected of her. She breathed as Emma.

"What do you want?" She whispered into the weathered leather over the horn.

She inhaled a deep breath of cold air, exhaled a stream of white. The bug's heater hadn't worked in years. "What do you want?" Emma repeated. The soul clawing itself bloody within her mind quieted, gave her a moment to take another cleansing breath. For the first time since returning, the blurry chaos of grief granted room in her thoughts for a moment of clarity. It took one second to make the decision and a sharp turn of the wheel to point the bug towards Storybrooke. Tires skidded in slush, fishtailed three times, and caught traction.

Some people stared at the screaming metal death trap blazing through the sleepy streets of Storybrooke, and she ignored all of them. She finally felt like she had a purpose, a place to go with something important waiting on her. Halfway to the old barn in the middle of nowhere, the unfit vehicle spun in the snow. It barely slowed her down. An echo answered the slamming door. Snow crunched and shifted beneath her brown riding boots. Over and over, she rewrote the things she needed to say until nothing made sense. None of it matter the second the structure came into view.

She stopped, staring it down like it held the answers to the questions she'd never even asked. She knew no one waited inside. Nothing threatened her, nor beckoned. Still, the sight of it paralyzed her, turned the warm blood pumping through her heart into red raspberry slushy that plugged up the straw. This building ripped her world apart. Zelena created a monster and unleashed it on her heart.

"For what?" Emma blurted to no one but the smoky stream of breath fogging her vision every few seconds and the cold, wet snow between her and the innocuous building.

She swung her arm low and snagged a handful of snow. "What did you think would happen?" She screamed as she slung the frozen ice ball at the barn. Another step, another snowball. "You wanted power!" The next one actually hit the side and splattered. "You destroyed my life for magic. For what? Because you were jealous of Regina?" Something popped in her shoulder, but she scooped another handful of wet fluff into a numbed hand and sent it to the same fate on the wooden planks beside the comrades gone before it.

"Mommy didn't love you enough?" Another splat. "You were lucky to get away from Cora! She would have made you into something you hated, at least in Oz you got to make your own decisions, live your own life. Regina didn't have that choice, and neither did I. So, fuck you, sister. My parents put me in a fucking tree and sent me to this horrible fucking place, and now they have a new kid that won't be fucked up." _Thump. Squish._ "He won't have to save the fucking world because of some dumbass prophecy."

Snow gave way to slush, and Emma grunted on the mostly soft impact of her weight on her shoulder. She grabbed at the snow for something to anchor her in reality. Hot tears melted tiny divots on the cold blanket. The Savior pressed her face into the icy comfort, cooling overheated cheeks. Thin shoulders quivered beneath blue leather that reflected on the white surrounding her. The color of purity swallowed the hollow scream that tore from a raw throat. Emma pressed her mouth harder into the snow – a cold but intimate kiss of grief – and loosed another wail that still echoed on the surrounding tree line.

Emma relaxed into the frozen duvet, giving herself to the soothing numb that pierced bone through skin. "He won't have to fall in love with the woman who set his miserable life in motion."

An ugly, high-pitched sound invited snow into her mouth. She coughed but kept her face tight against the cool, wet sand slowly cradling her tired body. "Regina," she whined. Emma breathed in icy flecks and crisp air that burned her raw throat.

"I'm sorry," she whispered.

The apology calmed her enough to use weary, aching arms to pull herself out of the snow and onto her knees. Feet followed and carried her to the entrance where she and Hook were spit out into the dirt two months prior. Leaning against the door, bleary green eyes studied the remnants of the ancient rune dug into the dirt floor. They'd broken it not long after than night. Regina used her magic to destroy the power the symbol carried, destroyed her only hope of returning. She wouldn't have used it, but… Yes, she would have.

Emma stumbled into the barn, barely catching her balance on an old crate off to the side. She wedged in between it and a tractor wheel and slid down the wall to rest her shivering muscles, spent from adrenaline and low temperatures. Legs splayed in front of her, Emma stared at the dust clinging to the wet spots on denim. She didn't care, not really. She'd been much dirtier before and definitely would be again in the future. The cold stung her eyes, and she blinked, breaking the hypnotic gaze at her pants. They refused to open, so she leaned her head against the crate and breathed.

"I'm sorry I haven't visited, Regina. It's been… It's been hard." Emma swallowed, but it achieved nothing towards alleviating the ache of tears and screaming in her throat. Her body jerked in a heat-producing spasm that rattled the old wood supporting her heavy body.

"I don't have anything of yours." A ragged breath sucked the sob back into her throat. "I don't have a picture. I can't call your voicemail just to hear your voice. I can't…" She grabbed her eyes with a trembling hand, pressing frigid fingers into both temples.

"I can't clean out your closet. I can't… I don't have anything. I don't… I don't have the pajamas that still smell like you because you wore them the day before you died. I don't have your…" Another strangled sound stole her voice. "Pillow," she choked and gave into the animalistic melody of grief bowed by her own vocal cords.

She knew how to grieve, but she'd never grieved for someone who technically never existed. Her body jerked one more time, then calmed. She couldn't properly grieve for a person she saw every day. She heard her laugh, her voice. She saw her smile on the face of another woman. She saw her eyes, but not really. Regina never wore The Queen's eyes. Regina had never known what True Love felt like. She'd loved Daniel, but Cora played a huge role in creating the monster that brought them to this land – warped Regina's mind.

Emma's body jerked in one last effort to warm her before the solace of giving up completely consumed her. One by one, she felt her muscles fall completely limp. In the back of her mind, she knew blood flow decreased to the outer appendages to preserve the organs. She welcomed the feeling, she felt closer to Regina there. Death must have brought some form of peace to the wicked who had only ever fought to survive. She'd never thought much about Heaven or Hell, never had much use for religion, but she wondered in that moment.

"Is it cold where you are?" She lifted a hand as if someone might have materialized to take it. "Is it quiet there?" Regina liked silence.

A voice in her mind, her voice, told her to move, to get up, to get back to the relative safety from the elements that the bug offered. Her heart demanded stillness, peace. She couldn't fight any longer. She'd fought her entire life. It wasn't even a life, just an existence. She'd never known safety or family or love, not until she'd found another world far from that one. She'd never known peace like waking up in Regina's arms the night after she'd fallen into the river. Sure, she'd kicked her out almost immediately in anger, but for just a moment, she knew – she knew that she was safe and cherished, she knew in her heart that Regina clung to her like a rose bud bloomed too early sealed up tight against an unexpected spring frost.

"I'm okay," Emma whispered, comforting herself as she gave her body to the cold. When she woke in Regina's arms, all of her questions and sorrows disappeared. "I'm okay."

Old, musty wood scraped her temple when her limbless body slumped into the crate. She only needed to keep her eyes closed and sleep until she woke up safe and sound where she belonged with the only person who had ever sacrificed anything for _her._ Regina never asked her to be The Savior, never asked of that ultimate sacrifice. She gave her life so that Emma wasn't required to be The Savior. She gave her life so that Emma could live, but without something to sacrifice, without something to fight, she had no clue who she was. She'd been The Savior for so long that she knew nothing of an identity beyond sacrifice, she knew nothing of accepting someone else's sacrifice, someone she loved. Could anyone in Storybrooke really have loved her if they continually asked her to be willing to sacrifice anything?

Wouldn't the guilt of her scars tear them apart if they loved her? Her guilt caused by Regina's sacrifice ate her from the inside out – a slowly spreading acid that started with her sanity and seeped into her humanity.

The last shred of clarity registered movement in the barn, but she'd transcended fear of her physical safety. She transcended fear of death. Her head thumped against the soft dirt, but her legs never felt the hands that pulled her from the corner, too numb to fire sparks to her brain. Hands hefted her shoulders, requiring several attempts before successfully hooking beneath her breasts to bear the dead weight.

"There we are. Up you go," a strained voice murmured. Emma ignored it and waited for the sweet release of sleep.

When she woke, the first thing her mind registered were the restraints around her wrists. The bonds weren't sophisticated, not handcuffs or leather. Twine. She pulled at them with lazy tugs, not too concerned. Ruby probably tied her up to prevent her from slitting her wrists. She swallowed the raw ache in her throat but found no relief from the abuse she'd inflicted. The squishy pop of using her throat to ingest saliva scratched too loudly in her ears, so she stopped trying to relieve the pain and let it hurt. Something crackled and popped to her right a moment before the scent of smoke infiltrated her nostrils. Someone lit a fire. Where the hell was she?

"Oh good, you're awake," the same voice that spoke earlier slid across the room, not too far, but not close either. "I'd thought you'd frozen your idiotic self to death like a little savior-cicle."

She knew that voice, that accent and pretentious lilt. It plucked at her fight or flight response, surging adrenaline into her system as she tried to place it. "I had hoped I'd not have a corpse in my bed," the voice continued along with the scrape and scratch of a dress moving around a small room. "Nasty business to dispose of in this temperature." The crinkle, swish of dress moved closer, and Emma's eyes flew open to meet eyes as green as her own. She tugged at her restraints but never diverted her gaze from the woman above her.

The woman rolled her eyes and sat a chair next to the bed before lowering herself into it primly. "Do forgive the sparse accommodations, dear. I seem to have lost all privilege in this world. No bother." She waved her hand and clicked her tongue behind a maniacal grin. "Reminds me of home," she confided, leaning forward as though she shared a secret. Just two women gabbing about the latest ball their competing family of social rank utterly flopped.

Emma swallowed again and stopped the futile struggle against her restraints. "I thought Rumpelstiltskin killed you."

The witch giggled and readjusted crinoline and lace over her knee as she crossed her legs. "Takes more than a stake to the heart to rid the world of me, I'm afraid." She poised the tip of her tongue behind her upper teeth as she paused, either in memory or for dramatic effect. "Hurt, though," she drawled, face losing any sort of superficial gaiety.

"What are you going to do to me, Zelena?" Emma asked, voice rasping over her tongue from fear more than anything else. There were fates much worse than death.

A smirk slowly lifted on side of her mouth, a perfectly controlled puppet string that masterfully made her eyes twinkle. She laughed without warning, startling Emma, and clasped her hands around her knee. "I honestly don't know." The glee seeped from her face, inch by inch, until each muscle fell slack. "But won't we have fun?"


	6. Mercy

Here ye be, My Pretties! Thanks for the reviews and follows. I'm super happy that everyone is as excited about this story as I am, even if my muse is a whore for making me write it.

Also, to my readers who speak English as a second language. Stop apologizing for that. I love all of my reviews. If you'd feel more comfortable doing it in your native tongue, feel free to do so. Google translate and I are good pals. If not, please don't worry about grammar or be self-conscious about that. I'm just happy you took the time and liked the story enough to comment. Reviews are my lifeblood.

Song: I'm not an Angel by Halestorm

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Emma watched Zelena move around the cabin. The witch hadn't said much of anything, not to her anyway. She'd simply gotten up and returned to the kettle hanging above the fire, tossed a couple things in, and then stirred. She'd not touched her or even really threatened her, but Emma failed to find comfort in that. Panic fluttered against her chest no matter how she tried to soothe the unruly child within. If Zelena meant to kill her, she'd have left her for dead in the cold. If she meant to torture her, why give a shit about her comfort, pull the blanket higher, apologize for the lack of luxury? That seemed genuine. Still, her heart pounded, and her cheeks flushed until the heat spun her vision in the dim room. She tugged at the restraints again.

She knew one thing only: another moment bound and physically helpless felt unbearable.

"Zelena, please untie me. I won't try to run or hurt you, not that you wouldn't kill me with magic before I got to the door," Emma promised.

As though she'd not heard the request, Zelena poured the concoction into an old chipped, plain white mug that she'd no doubt gotten at a second hand store or found in the trash. Emma begrudgingly admitted to being impressed by the witch's ability to survive under the radar. It reminded her of home, Emma recalled. If she'd survived alone out here in the middle of nowhere living off the land, Zelena had grown up poor in Oz. Dirt poor, literally. Every crevice in her mind echoed the silent scream of self-preservation, but something in her gut told her that Zelena meant no harm. She'd saved her life at the risk of someone following the drag marks to her cabin before she magically erased them.

"Damn," Zelena hissed as searing steam shot from the mug and attacked her sensitive flesh. Sticking her left thumb in her mouth to soothe the burn, she glanced up and froze when her emerald eyes connected with Emma's. The sheriff just stared back confused. It almost seemed like Zelena had forgotten another person took up space in the tiny cabin. "You'll have to wait for your tea, but I don't imagine you leaving any time soon." She smirked. The comment sounded… playful?

Zelena sat at the table and sipped the hot drink. She winced, then sighed into the soothing burn of it. She hated winter. Fall, she liked the autumn season when the cooler temperatures required heavier clothing. Another sip and wince. Yes, winter forced everything to feel hotter than it really was. Emma shifted, and her eyes focused once more. She'd not spoken to another human being in so long, even before she'd come to Storybrooke. No one spoke to a thing reviled and feared. Perhaps she should have spoken her thoughts on seasons aloud.

"Can you untie me, please?" Emma asked, still battling with the rising panic of being shackled. "I won't run," she promised again. She pulled at the restraints until she scooted high enough on the bed to loosen the twine slack and grip the headboard. Tucking her knees beneath her, she sat up and pressed her back into the wall in a show of submission. Her joints still ached from the extended time in the subzero temperatures with minimal protection. She knew from the fall into the river in the other timeline that the feeling dissipated with time and warmth as blood flow restored properly to the outer limbs.

"You have magic. Figure it out," Zelena baited the other woman and grinned into the mug.

"Come on, we both know that you can kick Regina's ass. I wouldn't stand a chance." Zelena's body tightened, like she waited for the punchline of a joke. Did she really have no clue how incredible her magic abilities were? She was trapped, Emma realized for the first time. She'd known before, logically, but it settled into her belly with a sickening lurch. "Untie me."

Zelena refilled the mug and approached her cautiously, both hands gripping the mug. "Drink your tea," she commanded as though Emma hadn't spoken and extended the steaming drink.

Emma's eyes bounced from the warm tea that would have soothed her aching throat to the light green eyes of the woman offering it. "Are you serious?" She deadpanned. Zelena nodded, face lifting hopefully, and edged the cup closer to her bound hands. "I'm not drinking anything you give me," Emma snapped.

The witch's face lost all expression, and Emma waited for the backlash. It never came. Instead, Zelena took a deep breath and raised her eyes to Emma's again. The hot mug touched her knuckles in a silent plea. Blood thundered in Emma's temples as the panic and rage simmered. Still she sat silently glaring at her captor. Zelena nudged the back of her hand again.

"I said I don't want your fucking tea," Emma yelled and smacked the mug, sloshing scalding liquid onto the witch's already burned hand.

Zelena hissed in pain. "Fine," she growled. The next sound that filled the room was a resounding crack of a backhand across Emma's cheek. Emma's head stayed turned where the blow's force snapped it. The world flickered around her, brightened into white walls, dimmed back to the dingy cabin.

" _Move," Regina growled._ Emma searched for her desperately but saw only Zelena pacing the floor angrily muttering to herself.

"Ungrateful, vile troglodyte," she accused Emma but spoke towards the wall.

The world snapped again at the familiarity of the insult, and Emma jerked at the restraints to try and cover her face. "Zelena, untie me," she begged, vaguely aware that the moist air brushing her face existed only in her mind. Twine transformed to glowing green energy, the bed a cushion of magic dangling over a chasm. "Stop," Emma breathed and pinched her eyes closed until white stars exploded behind the lids. Still the touch of Regina's magic, the heaving breathing of Maleficent below, the stench of corpses surrounded her, took her to that place again. This particular experience had never happened. Dreams, yes, but not fully awake and lucid.

"Untie you?" The witch laughed in a heightened tone of disbelief. "Untie you? I've been nothing but kind since I found you attempting suicide by hypothermia and screaming at an empty barn, and you've mistrusted every gesture I've made."

"Zelena, untie me, please. You don't understand," Emma pleaded to the wicked witch, but Regina's hateful, sadistic eyes smiled back at her beneath red hair. "Let me go, you crazy bitch!" Desperate jerks scratched the headboard. More cold air blew against her face. Hysteria swelled in Emma's constricted chest.

"Shut up!" The other woman screamed back. "If you won't drink it," Zelena decided a moment before she tossed the remaining liquid in the mug onto the frantic savior.

Emma howled, a blood-curdling, hollow screech of a thing that pierced Zelena's eardrums. It startled her enough to drop the cup. She rolled her eyes at herself and crossed her arms. "Oh, please. It's barely warm enough to kill a kitten," she snapped.

The world dimmed further. The stench of death filled Emma's nostrils. Tendrils of magic lapped at her body. The sting of a whip lashed her chest. Emma looked down, saw a gash in her leather coat and blood seeping beneath it. Another landed on her stomach before she processed the pain. The cave, the isolation room, flashed into existence and remained – her one constant in the other timeline: fear of that room. Green magic flickered on the damp walls. Another gash opened in her leg, sending a burning slice of pain through her thigh.

"Regina, stop," she yelled, and Zelena froze.

 _"_ _I hate you, Mother. I will never be good enough for you!"_

Blow after blow landed against Emma's aching body. She screamed and thrashed about the bed, unaware of her surroundings. Cut after cut appeared with every sting of the magical whip Regina wielding against her innocent flesh. Her head thumped against the wall in a harsh crack, and Zelena almost grabbed the flailing woman lost in memories, but she stood paralyzed and fascinated by the demonic grip the memories clamped around The Savior's mind. She knew. In that moment, she knew why the poor thing had drunk herself numb the past few months. She wanted that. She wanted a reason to desire numbness, but she had nothing but frigid, jagged pieces of her soul. Nothing hurt, but nothing felt good, either.

"Regina, stop! I'm not her!" Emma begged, tears streaming down flushed cheeks. She rolled on the bed until her face hid behind her hands. "I'm not her," she repeated.

Zelena watched, stunned and bewildered and slightly frightened. A thread of compassion tugged a knot into her stomach. She cocked her head to the side as the sliver of emotion settled in for a long stay. Hesitantly, she took a calculated step towards the tortured woman still writhing in a pain that existed only in Emma's mind. The Savior seemed not to notice her approach, so she took another step. Emma screamed, and she froze.

"Regina, I'm not her!" She strained against the bonds, headboard creaking and groaning with the effort of holding against the woman's strength. "I'm not her," she whimpered and went limp, arms still covering her face. She cried silently save tiny gasps and ragged breaths. "I'm not her," she whined. "I'm not her."

"Shhh. I know," Zelena whispered and set three fingertips on Emma's leather-clad forearm. "I know you're not her." The foreign, accented voice ground her in reality. Regina had no accent, no sweet lilt.

Emma flinched but made no other move against the light touch. As gently as tending a delicate and rare flower, Zelena's long pianist fingers slid around her forearm. "You're not there anymore, Savior." Emma relaxed into the voice, though the tiny gasps continued. Zelena held her arm and waited. It felt awkward, and a giggle broke the charged silence. She knew nothing of comforting another human being, much less how to bring one back from a traumatic memory encasing her mind in an endless labyrinth of horror. Zelena knew that feeling from the memories that haunted her dreams.

She laughed again, and bleary green eyes looked up at her between the headboard and bound hands. Zelena sat on the edge of the bed, still grinning despite the obvious solemnity of the moment. Clarity and recognition filled those eyes as much as grief and sorrow. The witch tucked one leg beneath her and folded her hands in her lap, waiting for Emma to lash out again if she touched her too long. The Savior went completely limp, giving the full weight of each muscle to the lumpy mattress beneath her.

"Where did you go?" Zelena asked.

"You wouldn't understand," Emma said. Her voice rumbled over the tracks that had become her abused vocal cords.

"I do. You used my portal, either purposely or by accident. Something happened to you. Where did you go?" She tried again with a maniacal glint of curiosity in her eyes.

"You wouldn't understand," Emma repeated and turned her face towards the wall. "Just kill me, and get it over with." A quiet whine vibrated in her nasal cavity as the tears swelled once more. A high-pitched hiccup pulled at her chest when she inhaled again. "I'm so tired, Zelena, please. Please." Emma's remaining voice dissolved with another gut-clenching marathon of ragged puffs forced out in the silent cabin. "Please kill me."

Zelena watched the broken woman a moment longer, envious of the ability to feel something so strong, even grief. Long ago, the hunger and thirst of desires dried and shriveled inside of her, leaving her soul untouched by any sort of passion since Rumpelstiltskin abandoned her for Regina. A deep yearning to trade places with Emma seized her heart, so she stood without a word, still frozen as she'd ever been. Without much thought of her actions, she picked up the mug where she'd dropped it on the floor and crossed to the table where the cool kettle sat on a slab of flat rock she'd found. Adding another crushed ingredient from the stockpile she'd collected before the heavy snows struck, she poured second cup of tea. She understood the need to sleep.

Returning to the bed, she perched with one leg tucked beneath her. "I've added a sedative. You'll sleep for several hours," she explained before extending the cup into Emma's line of sight against the wall. "Drink."

"I don't want to sleep," Emma murmured.

"It chases away the nightmares," Zelena added, unsure why she felt the need to speak so quietly. "Drink," she urged again.

Emma rolled onto her back and scooted on the bed enough to take the mug. Every movement looked painful and laborious, like Emma fought some unseen force for use of her own muscles. For a moment, they simply stared at each other, and Zelena wondered if giving Emma the mug had been the best plan. She'd not thought clearly in such a long time. A sigh of relief deflated her chest when Emma tested the temperature of the liquid and then gulped everything down in own long pull. She took the mug and returned to the table to watch The Savior at a safe distance. Only a few tense moments passed before Emma's eyes drooped, a few more and her body melded into the mattress.

Zelena waited until The Savior's chest expanded evenly and the tears dried on her rosy cheeks before she donned the tattered coat, scarf and gloves hanging by the door and braced herself to venture out into the cold.


	7. Weakness

Wow! Thanks for all the reviews and new follows. There is so much pressure not screw this up because I so very easily could, so thanks for all the encouragement and caring about these characters and their journeys as much as I do! You're the best.

That said, some of you have been wishing for playlists for my characters. Granted. I got a Spotify account. My name, handle thingy (do they still call them handles? AOL messenger was so long ago) is Sinmorasq. Feel free to add/follow/stalk me. (what do they call it on Spotify?) I'm still figuring out how to use it, so it may take a couple weeks for me to actually sit down and deal with the technology. Ugh, I'm only 26, I should get this technology stuff. I twitter now, so there's that. I'm getting there. Haha.

Also, I'd like to take a moment to thank/introduce my new Beta baby. Lucidlucifer13 has graciously stepped in and offered to help me out as a second reader while Pixip gets her crazy life under control. Thanks for dealing with my neuroticism for so long, Pixip! I do expect spectacular reviews when you get to this story! So, I kind of feel like I'm missing a limb right now, but Luc is handling my insanity with poise, so thank you for accepting the challenge of a writer. Mostly coaxing me out from under my blanket where I hide after I write each chapter to rock back and forth and think about how easily I could screw up the sequel to The Color Red. No pressure, right?

To the story! Enjoy, My Pretties!

Song: Talk to Me by Lauren Aquilina

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Regina reached the diner the exact moment the flurrying snow grew too heavy and dropped from the sky in large, wet flakes that covered her hair and stuck to her nose and lips a few seconds before melting. Each one lasted a bit longer than the previous, and she brushed the remainder from her face as she turned the knob. A warm gust of cinnamon-scented, grease-filled air mutilated nature's most fleeting of creations, trickling droplets of cold through dark hair and onto her scalp. She loved winter, when gentle flecks of cold clung to her eyelashes and sent a hue of blue and a quiet hush across the land. That night, it just felt cold, and she stepped into the diner's warmth quickly. Ruby scrubbed furiously at an already shining counter, shoulders hunched and tight with vibrating tension. Belle nursed a cup of coffee at the end of the bar and omitted equally palpable tension, no doubt adopting her partner's stress with each tiny glance at the visibly upset wolf. They'd found Emma's letters.

"Mom!" Henry called, and both women she'd been studying turned inquisitive eyes onto her.

She offered a tight smile to them and joined her son at a booth near the back. The second she slid into the booth beside him, Henry turned to her and blurted, "Robin is so cool. He taught me how to track a deer in the snow and how to lay a false trail." Regina smiled at the boy, but it fell short of her eyes. In the morning, she decided. Her own heart broke enough for the both of them that night. In the morning, she swallowed the responsibility of shattering his. Damn, Emma Swan.

"Sounds like quite an adventure," she played along and managed a grin at the man across the table currently wrangling an unruly 5-year-old. "Have you ordered?"

"Just cocoa. We were waiting for you," Robin explained with a smile and trapped Roland in a bear hug the child failed to break no matter how much he wriggled. Robin looked exhausted, his forest green shirt and jacket rumpled and worn form the exertion, no wonder with the two boys in the cold forest all day. "How was your day?"

It all felt so normal, and Regina scowled instead of screaming like she'd wanted to do all day. "Uneventful," she growled and opened the menu. A moment later, guilt churned her guts. "I'm sorry, Robin. I've been making cider all day, and the heat has worn me out, I'm afraid."

His face never lost an ounce of understanding or compassion, and it drove her nuts. Why must he always have been so kind, so respectful of her mood shifts? How had she expected him to react? With sarcasm and a snipe, that wasn't him, and it never would be. "If you'd like, I can get Henry dinner and bring him home later. You could relax a little," he offered helpfully.

Regina glanced at the wolf pretending not to hear their conversation. Their eyes met, and Regina's jaw tightened against the rising emotion. She averted her gaze to the menu. She had no one but Robin, no friend to call upon to ease the rippling confusion Emma's departure left behind. Still, that wanting glint in his eyes gave her pause. He wanted her, and that felt nice, but…

"No, I'll manage." She knew she'd dashed his hopes – again – and that felt bad. He'd remained so patient to take their physical relationship further.

"Hey," Ruby greeted and leaned a thin hip against the booth bench opposite Regina. The wolf inhaled sharply but silently when they mayor met her gaze again. Ruby saved her from the awkward conversation, Regina realized. Tears shimmered across the darker brown and then disappeared in a blink. Ruby blamed herself for not helping Emma. Had Ruby known about this mysterious woman? Surely, she'd had to have known. Those two shared everything. The enchantment dissolved when orders flew at the skilled waitress, and she dropped her eyes to write them down, though they bounced up every couple seconds to check on Regina.

"Madame Mayor," she prompted.

"Just coffee, Miss Lucas," she managed. Ruby's face contorted into something painful, not even a grimace, something beyond that. Long fingers twitched around the order pad, but Ruby never reached out to her. Belle grabbed her hand as she passed towards the kitchen. Ruby squeezed it back and held on until their fingertips brushed in parting, but she never slowed down to accept the comfort.

"How come you're not eating?" Henry asked, intuitively absorbing the strange energy around his mother. She forced a grin and brushed fingers through his thick, brown hair.

"I'm just tired, Darling," Regina admitted and realized it wasn't a lie. Like the changing seasons, she'd always taken for granted Emma's presence – her constant support like a warm spring rain that brought growth and new life and the criticism like a thunderstorm so violent it ripped up trees and shut off electricity in order to make her realize the limitations of her magic and abilities that taught her to stay inside and weather the storm in the protective walls of those who loved her.

Her son offered up a hug and settled his energy so as not to sap more of hers. She kept him tucked close with an arm around his shoulders and leaned a cheek against dark hair. "Can Emma come over and play Xbox later? I haven't seen her in forever."

"Not tonight, it's already getting late and you have school tomorrow," Regina spared him. Surely, Emma came back once she cleared her head and grieved.

She kissed the top of his head and murmured, "I'll be right back," before slipping out of the booth. Ruby passed en route to the bathroom, two sides of Charybdis, destined never to meet. The dim bathroom with only one stall always smelled clean, Regina gave it that much at least. She locked the door and leaned against the sink. The tiny space trapped her in a heat blanket quickly. Every movement challenged her sluggish muscles, tight with tension and weak with indecision, but she shrugged off the heavy winter coat and hung it on the door.

Brown eyes met her gaze in the mirror, her eyes, so foreign yet so familiar. What had Emma seen that last moment when she _looked_ at her like Regina had just been seen for the first time in two lifetimes? What could she possibly have seen beyond the ugliness she'd forced upon the world? That look brought her to life. That look gave her existence where she'd never dreamed of existing before, not in a world that only saw the title or the power or the monster. That look came from finding Regina at the end of the maze, not the gaze of desire that came with conquest, not a challenge but a puzzle already solved. She stared and stared but failed to see what Emma saw in her light brown eyes that morning.

"Regina?" Startled her from the frustrating contest.

"Just a minute," she called back and turned on the tap. She let cold water cascade against her skin until knuckles turned white and achy.

The handle jiggled violently a couple times and then unlatched. Regina turned an icy glare onto the intruder, fully expecting them to run in terror. Ruby's lopsided grin and big, puppy dog eyes greeted her instead. The mayor switched off the tap and grabbed a cheap, brown paper towel without comment.

"It opens if you wiggle the handle. I've been meaning to get Marco to fix it for a while now," the wolf babbled nervously.

"What is it you need so desperately?" She snapped and flung the wadded paper towel into the trash. Ruby remained planted at her only escape, so she wrapped cold hands around her hips and waited.

"Emma left," Ruby whispered with a nervous glance towards the dining room where Henry animatedly relayed some tale to Belle who had taken up the seat next to him in his mother's absence. The insecure wolf stepped over the threshold and folded one arm over her stomach, holding the opposite elbow. "I just thought you should know."

"I'm aware, Miss Lucas," Regina clipped and crossed her own arms, protecting herself.

"You could call me Ruby, you know, or Red." She chewed her lower lip as her head fell forward, bent with the weight of the past. "The war's over."

Regina hugged herself tighter and studied the different waves of cascading emotions ripping through the young wolf. She searched the vast universe within those dark brown eyes, the depths etched into the youthful face. Ruby swallowed the ache in her throat, shivered. Goosebumps spouted on her forearms for no reason, not in the warmth of the tiny space.

"She said something to me yesterday, Emma did. She asked if I thought your life might have been different if someone had been there for you after Daniel died. Someone like a little sister who always had your back. She can't know the truth, but…" Ruby shrugged and chewed at her lower lip as she raised her eyes. "Do you ever wonder how things would be if I hadn't joined Snow White?"

"It's done, Miss Lucas," Regina ended the thread of conversation with the dark cautionary tone. Ruby's face fell again, and the acid of guilt filled her belly. She added more softly, "We can no more change the way things turned out than we could have prevented Emma leaving. Who was this woman?"

"What woman?" Ruby asked, genuinely confused.

"Her lover who died. Wait, you weren't aware?" Regina rolled her eyes. Emma hadn't exclusively requested it remain a secret, but she'd gone to extraordinary lengths to keep it as such the past two months.

"I didn't even know she was involved with someone. I thought she and Hook were hooking up." She winced at the popular term, nose wrinkling at the images it painted in her mind. "I'll use a different phrase next time." They shared a small grin. "And I'll call her in the morning. She's not answering me right now, but maybe she'll feel better after she gets some space."

"Please keep me informed. I'm waiting until tomorrow to tell him," Regina confided. She had no one else informed of the situation, right? That's why, she convinced herself.

"Okay." Ruby gnawed her lip some more, and Regina almost reprimanded the behavior. "Can I spend more time with him?"

Regina opened her mouth to speak but only breathed as the different thoughts and feelings of that question crashed into her. "Why?"

"Come on, Regina. He's a great kid and I adore him… and he's my nephew. How long are we going to pretend like we never loved each other? That we didn't live as sisters for the first half of my life?" Ruby tensed, glanced around again, but no one ever came to the back unless they had to use the bathroom. She'd have heard any step in that direction. The subject inspired a certain paranoia, at first because Regina masqueraded as The Evil Queen and now because she felt ashamed of abandoning Regina when she had most needed someone. Tears burned the back of her throat.

"I'm sorry, Regina. You warned me to stay away from Snow White, and I didn't, okay, because I felt like I owed her. After Peter died… after I killed him, she was there for me and things just kept happening, and before I knew what happened, I was at war with you. I tried… Granny and I tried to get them to just give up the kingdom so many times. That's all you wanted, but she…"

"Enough," Regina growled. "Henry has just had his world turned upside down and doesn't even know it yet. I'd prefer you keep your distance." She snagged her coat from the back of the door. "Move."

"Regina," Ruby tried again, not budging an inch. "We both made mistakes. It doesn't mean I ever stopped caring about you. If you won't remember that for us, can you at least help me figure out how to help Emma? Who were you talking about earlier?"

Regina folded the black coat over her arm, movements controlled and calculated. She spoke and struggled with the button on the sleeve of the dark blue blouse. "She came to the house this morning to apologize before she left. After you called, I went to her apartment to make sure she made it home safely and that the detestable pirate kept his hook where it belonged. She tried to kiss me." The fabric fell away, revealing brownish-purple fingerprints. Ruby gasped but remained silent, and Regina covered the bruises. "She called herself dangerous this morning because she's been losing control of her magic and…" She raised her arm a couple inches, still trying to get the buttoned back into the hole. "This," she finished.

"Here," Ruby mumbled and grabbed Regina's arm and fixed the button before she dropped the coat hanging over the other one.

"She confided this morning that a woman she'd fallen in love with had died. I haven't a clue who that may have been, but the way she spoke of her, any fool would have known it was the truth," Regina laid everything out for her sensitive counterpart.

"I can only imagine how deep the love of The Savior runs. The last two months make sense when you think about how deep her grief would be in comparison to a normal person. I mean, you've seen how hard Emma loves her friends, and even you when the curse first broke. Can you imagine how scary it was for her to let herself feel that and then lose it?" Ruby grinned a little despite the harrowing situation. "Can you imagine being the woman Emma Swan chose to love?"

"I sympathize with her struggle, Miss Lucas, but Ms. Swan is not my responsibility." Regina sniffed and reset her shoulders to something resembling composure.

"I call bullshit," Ruby snapped, a familiar ire in those normally placid eyes. "I don't know everything that happened in Neverland, but you and Emma came back two completely different people. Why do you think showing people that you care about her is going to make them think less of you?"

"Because, Miss Lucas, her absence now is proof that no relationship is carved in stone."

"It's not personal, Regina. Emma's hurting, she didn't leave to hurt you." Ruby cocked her hip, arms crossed in defiance. She'd never really feared Regina, but she'd always challenged her.

 _"_ _If you ask me to stay, I'll stay."_

"Move," Regina barked and pushed through the wolf barricade. Ruby let her pass without a struggle.

"Love isn't weakness, Regina," Ruby murmured.

Regina paused, shoulders clenching tightly towards her ears, and then strode away without comment. Ruby leaned a shoulder against the wall and watched her click-clack across the dining room. She said a few words to Henry and Robin. Belle glanced towards the back, sensing the different energy in the room, but remained silent as Regina bolted from the diner and slammed the door behind her.


	8. Feel

Here we are again, My Pretties! I'm having so much fun writing Zelena, she's an interesting challenge. Again, thank you for all the support and reviews and follows. You're all truly amazing. This story is so close to my heart, and I'm so happy you've decided to take this journey with me. Enjoy!

Songs: Crawling by Linkin Park

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The cabin shifted in and out of focus. Logs and mortar warbled and shimmered, blurring in the haze of waking from a drug-induced sleep. Emma blinked once and rubbed her eyes. She knew Zelena occupied the cabin where she lay, she knew Zelena had taken her prisoner. Still, something felt different. She opened her eyes again and looked at her wrists, rubbed raw from coarse twine during the panic attack. Deep purple bruises bubbled beneath bits of torn flesh and angry jagged lines. She rubbed her eyes again, willing her brain into intelligent thought. Though lethargy seized her muscles from inactivity and the organic substance she'd drank, they felt better. No sharp pinpoints of exhaustion stabbed at her joints. Everything felt warm and sank into the mattress conforming to her shape. She waited for the headache of a hangover, so used to never sleeping without waking to that pain. Sleep. She'd slept without nightmares, without alcohol, without Regina.

"Don't move too quickly," Zelena's accent slithered into her ear. "The first few times can upset the stomach."

The witch sat at the table in a light green cotton nightgown. It looked thick and warm, like a second layer of heavier fabric had been sewn beneath the soft, frilly top. She raised the chipped mug to her mouth and hummed. A plate of something sat in front of her, and Emma's stomach roiled as the stench of it penetrated the frosty glass of dulled senses. She remained perfectly still as instructed, only blurry green eyes moving about the room. A bow and a quiver of arrows rested against the stack of wood on the hearth. Strips of meat hung above the fireplace, some short and others long. They swayed gently as puffs of heat from the huge, cast iron pot caressed them. The scent of drying meat, not Zelena's meal turned her stomach.

"Why not just conjure food?" She croaked. Her voice scraped over the dry abrasions in her throat. Emma swallowed, but it accomplished little to soothe the ache.

The swish of fabric moving drew her attention. Zelena stood at the bedside and extended a second thick, white mug missing the handle. "I added some mint, should settle your stomach." Emma pressed both hands into the mattress and pushed. Her lower body felt heavy, still, unbothered by the wakefulness of her mind. Acid lurched in her belly, and she leaned against the headboard, not quite upright.

"Thank you," Emma murmured and accepted the tea. Hot mint water, she corrected silently upon the first sip.

Bright green eyes stared down at her, studying, learning, calculating. The witch looked lost and confident all at the same time. The rigid posture of her spine and shoulders commanded the obedience of the room, but the roaming confusion in her eyes would have sparked sympathy in any other situation. Emma stared back and waited for Zelena to say something else, cup poised against her lower lip, mouth open wide. She said nothing and returned to the table to finish her meal. It looked so damn normal. She'd never thought of Zelena as a person before, just this super powerful entity that threatened the people she loved. She hadn't considered the fact that Zelena ate in order to live, that she wanted a warm cup of tea at the end of a hard day spent terrorizing unsuspecting citizens to relax weary muscles.

She left Zelena to the food and stared into the mug. It looked familiar, the texture and shape in her hands, against her mouth. She'd drank many times from an identical mug at the diner. Zelena had stolen broken mugs from the diner dumpster. Muscles tightened in her stomach, and she pulled her knees to her chest, curling around the discomfort. A rattle turned her eardrum. Around her ankle, a familiar shackle clasped the lazy muscle, almost too tightly over her jeans. It stared back up at her, daring her fuzzy mind to place where she'd seen it.

"You stole Blue's magic shackles?" She blurted, impressed with Zelena's ability to maintain invisibility.

The witch shrugged and brought her mug to her mouth with both hands. "Didn't want to deal with your grand ideas of light magic," she muttered and stabbed at something on her plate.

Emma absorbed the tension in the witch's shoulders, the inability but the desire to glance in her direction. "Why aren't you using magic?" She asked again.

"My insufferable sister would sense magic as powerful as mine," she responded. Her voice sounded bored, but that tension never left coiled muscles ready to strike. Regina scared her.

"You can't hide out here forever. Someone's going to find my car and come looking. Just let me go," Emma reasoned.

Zelena laughed, a throaty, taunting thing. "I've never known mint to cause hallucinations."

"Then what do you want? Why did you save my life?" Emma demanded, resisting the urge to sling the mug at her smug face. "Why not just kill me?"

Zelena smirked. "I've never been accused of giving people what they want."

The blatant accusation cooled the simmering rage in Emma's chest, leaving a hollow, windy trench. She drank more mint water, thankful that it at least calmed the nausea if not her grief. She flicked her thumbnail against the jagged cliff of porcelain where a handle once attached and watched the other woman. Zelena finished eating, pushed up her sleeves, and stood. She grabbed a rag out of metal bucket on the hearth and squeezed out excess water before wiping the plate and setting it on the counter. She searched for the panic that gripped her previously, but nothing surfaced. The situation remained the same, still trapped and prisoner. Her hands now moved freely, and with that freedom came loose the chains of haunting memories of torture at the hands of a woman she'd grown to love. No, that she loved before she ever jumped timelines; she'd just seen a different side of that woman, and loved her anyway.

"Is this just a game to you? Keep me alive because you know I want to die? Keep me here in Storybrooke because I want to leave?" She baited the witch who only raised an eyebrow and stirred the pot above the fire with a big, wooden spoon. Not a spoon, Emma corrected, a long, smooth stick. A weapon if she ever reached it.

"I want to know where my portal took you," Zelena answered without glancing in her direction.

"Storybrooke," Emma heard herself saying without acknowledging the thought. "It took me to a different timeline in Storybrooke. The curse had never been broken, and The Queen never lost the war against Snow White."

Zelena looked at her, bright green eyes glowing with something Emma couldn't decipher. "It worked."

"You'll never be able to get the ingredients for another spell," Emma reminded her. A creepy dread slithered up her spine that she'd given Zelena ammunition against her family… again.

"Do you think I'll kill you faster if you tell me what I want to hear?" Zelena asked and dropped the spoon into the pot.

"Yes," Emma answered without hesitation. Her eyes slammed shut against the dizziness blurring her vision.

"Why do you want to die, Savior?" Zelena continued, her voice soothing and soft, like the caress of a mother's lullaby.

"I…" Emma started then grabbed her face, squeezing thumb and forefinger into her temples. She wanted to answer that question so badly. A compulsion seized her chest in a tight fist, squeezing the information into her throat. "What did you give me?" Rasped out instead. She dropped the mug to the floor as another wave of dizziness loosened the claws of rationale from her mind.

"Why do you want to die?"

"Because…" Emma winced, pressing both heels into her temples. It accomplished nothing towards keeping her mouth shut. The kindness, removing the bonds around her hands, the soft voice – all of it meant to manipulate her into a false sense of security. "Because everything hurts." It wasn't a lie. It wasn't.

"Be more specific," Zelena guided the interrogation.

Emma gritted her teeth, the sound of bone against bone loud in her ear like dropping a rock underwater. "Go to hell and find out for yourself," she seethed.

Zelena clicked her tongue and pressed a fist into her hip. "What did Regina do to you when you went through the portal?"

Emma trekked through the mazes of memories. The Evil Queen in the Enchanted Forest laughed just behind her. It wasn't a lie. It wasn't. "She ordered my execution and locked me in her dungeon."

"So, you returned to The Enchanted Forest?" Emma nodded. Zelena dragged the chair closer and sat primly at the edge, which looked ridiculous in her nightgown. "You said earlier you'd been in Storybrooke on the other side. Was it Storybrooke or The Enchanted Forest? Both?"

Emma whimpered. Saliva dripped from her lower lip and seeped into the dark denim over her knee. A small reserve of protectiveness for those she'd left behind surged into her heart. The potion only required her to tell the truth, right? The need to answer expanded in her mind, trickled into her throat to loosen tight muscles there. Teeth clashed and ground in defiance against the burning, not a physical pain. Emma jerked her head back and forth. Sharp claws tore at the veils between her thoughts, bleeding them together, urging their liquidity towards her mouth. Slice by slice, the barriers came away from her most precious memories with the precision of a master chef peeling the prickly, toughed skin with calculated blade strokes. She shook her head like a dog might a chew toy until muscles in her neck protested in tiny, jabbing jolts and tears streamed down her face. Nothing spared the wireframes of her memories from being soldered into droplets of loose metal that scalded her tongue with rippling splashes.

"Both," Emma screamed. "Both, I went through two portals. I was in both." Heavy breaths shook her entire body as the smoke and heat receded from her thoughts. Inhaling a sharp sob, she cried in small voice muffled by denim, "I was in both." Her cheek collapsed against the cool wetness of spit, tears, and snot that had dripped onto her jeans. Some fates were worse than death.

Zelena watched the blonde woman gather the scattered pieces of her mind that shattered in jagged, red edges that might never have been burned back together. "Tell me how Regina tortured you."

"Magic," Emma grunted and clamped her mouth shut. It wasn't a lie. The magical whip that nearly beat her to death came to mind first, then the few minutes Regina bound her to the bed and simulated rape. "Fear," Emma added.

"You are stubborn, aren't you?" Emma chuckled defiantly, but no joy accompanied the sound. Zelena sighed dramatically and linked slender fingers around her knee. "Who else did you see on the other side?"

"No one who hasn't been here," Emma gave her that only easily. A hot scalpel sliced into her mind, manifesting in a guttural moan as Emma fought the potion. "And Peter Black, a boy Ruby grew up with," she added before Zelena asked. The surging pain receded, and Emma sucked through her nostrils the scent of sweat and old coffee that she'd spilled on her knee over a week ago.

"Regina wouldn't have simply allowed you to leave. How did you manage to return?"

Emma fought. The potion zinged through her brain. Adrenaline tingled in her fingertips. "Magic," Emma answered.

"Whose magic?" Zelena pushed, dropping her crossed legs and leaning forward. She recognized the precipice of Emma's control, of the information flow. She only needed to phrase the question the right way.

"Mine. I used mine." Protect the other timeline, protect Ruby and Mason. They won, she lied to herself. Ruby won the war, and she needed Emma to protect her, to protect all of them. Regina's sacrifice would not be sullied by her weakness. Regina gave everything to send her home, to protect her kingdom. Regina died a hero, and Emma vowed never to betray that, even if this potion shredded her mind to nothingness.

"How did you open the portal?" Emma bit the inside of her jaw until the tang of iron spilled over her tongue. "Who helped you open the portal?" A small whimper answered the demand. "Who helped you?"

"Regina," Emma whispered. Pressure in her mind expanded all of her thoughts and emotions to the surface until they saw no respite but to flow out of her mouth in an unending parade of grief and suffering.

"How?" Emma curled around her knees and hiccupped ugly cries. "How, Savior?"

"Go to hell!"

"How did you open the portal? How did Regina open the portal?"

"No, no, no, no," Emma breathed. The potion expired soon, all potions wore off eventually.

"How?" Zelena grabbed her shoulders, shaking her in frustration. "How did you open the portal?" Emma tried to focus on the soft red hair framing the witch's face, the green eyes so bright and full of rage. This woman, not the one who helped her escape the nightmares, held her prisoner. "How did you do it?" This woman so similar to the one who trapped her in a nexus of magic and tortured her, laughing the entire time. She hated that woman. She loved her for the sacrifice she'd made. "How!"

"I killed her!" Emma shrieked. Her body sprang forward from the bed. Free hands latched around Zelena's throat as they fell onto the slack wood floor, Emma on top. The chain attached to her leg jerked taut, preventing further movement. She hadn't needed more. Zelena's face flushed with lack of oxygen, unkempt nails clawed at the stronger hands choking the life from her. "I killed her," Emma screamed and shook Zelena's neck, bouncing her head on the floor. She waited for the searing pain that came with a lie, she waited for the adrenaline exciting her system, the blinding vision. The potion detected no lie. "I killed her."

Air entered Zelena's mouth in a weak gasp, followed by a cough. Emma pulled her knees beneath her, straddling the slighter woman's hips. "I killed her." Stormy green eyes stared at the fingers around pale flesh, reddened with abuse. They slowly raised to find Zelena's glassy emerald stare wide and terrified. "I killed her," Emma confessed.

"Then I suppose we're both killers," Zelena rasped around the hands still gripping her throat. "The difference is, my pretty, I don't care." A sneer followed the comment, and Emma reignited the effort to snuff out Zelena's miserable existence and pull this thorn from Storybrooke's side. Zelena choked a giggle and swung her arm. Something thumped into Emma's temple, and she embraced the darkness one more time as she slumped atop Zelena.

"Well, that could have gone better," Zelena muttered and left the heavy weight atop her, too shaken to think clearly. She breathed and waited for the adrenaline to ease, tucked beneath the warm embrace of a woman gone mad. Dropping the piece of wood to floor, she touched the bloody wound on Emma's temple and clicked her tongue. A piece of tangled blonde hair stuck to it, and she moved it out of the red smear, taking the time to tuck it behind Emma's ear. She sighed as another slice of adrenaline surged through fingertips. Wrapping an arm around Emma's muscled back, she squeezed the other shoulder and raised her neck until lips brushed Emma's ear.

"I knew you'd make me feel again."


	9. Protector

So, I thought we could use something lighter to move this story along. It's not exactly fluff, but as close as I usually get. Haha. Enjoy!

Song: Running for You by Kip Moore

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Ruby sighed heavily but silently, afraid to wake Belle in the middle of the night. She stared at Emma's letter, now wrinkled and worn at the creases from the dozens of times Ruby read it. It said nothing of the woman Regina mentioned, only that she'd left out of fear of hurting someone by losing control of her magic. It felt like more than that, which made her believe Regina's story more, not that she hadn't the first time. Eight days. Eight days had passed without a peep from Emma, no call or text or smoke signal to indicate she got the help she needed. Even messed up with that sort of grief, Emma's big, beautiful heart wouldn't have allowed her to let them worry like that. She failed in a lot of places as a person, but she never failed to assure everyone that she needed no help. She wasn't capable of burdening them with this sort of worry.

"Stop it," Belle murmured, sleep thick in the command. "I hear you thinking," she added as she rolled to face the wolf.

Ruby spread her arm and accepted the weight and warmth of the smaller woman against her side. Belle's hand fell between small breasts, head curled against the thin muscles in her chest. Ruby pressed her lips to the back of her head and breathed in the scent of almonds and Shea butter. She loved Belle's shampoo meant to tame her frizzy locks. The librarian readjusted her cheek against her shoulder and kissed her chest. A gentle thumb brushed soothing strokes over bare skin, exciting goosebumps that woke the nipple so close to her lover's finger. Her mind knew the difference, but her body responded to the other woman anyway. Ruby rolled her eyes and waited for the former princess to wake enough to express her thoughts.

"You couldn't have stopped this, Ruby. Emma is doing what she thinks is best to heal," Belle's accent rumbled against the sensitive flesh of her chest, hot breath puffing on cooled skin.

"I feel like something is wrong. She should have called or texted by now. Emma wouldn't make us worry like this," Ruby shared her fear. "She wouldn't just leave Henry like this."

Belle sighed deeply and gave up hope of more sleep as she raised her head to meet Ruby's heavy eyes. "Sweetheart, Emma hasn't been herself for weeks. Grief manifests so differently for everyone. Emma has run from the things that hurt her entire life, so this isn't that out of character for her." Ruby sucked a breath to protest, and Belle covered her mouth with a palm. "I'm worried, too, and so is Regina even if she refuses to acknowledge it. You're not alone, but we don't know where she went. We have no idea how to find her, so we need to focus on what we can do."

Ruby covered the hand with her own, pressed a kiss onto the palm, and moved it gently to her chest to squeeze with her own. "What can we do?"

"Make sure she comes back to plenty of love and support and take care of Henry like she asked us to do in her letter," Belle suggested with soft eyes. She wanted to be mad at Emma, but she understood. If she could have run from Storybrooke after her father attempted to send her beneath the town boundary, she'd have left without a thought. Storybrooke served as her own fishbowl of suffering, and without the woman in her arms, she'd have gone mad. She wanted to hate Emma for hurting Ruby like this, but she understood. "Perhaps she's not answering because she is with the family of this woman. She certainly wasn't from Storybrooke."

"Yeah," Ruby breathed, not quite convinced. She reclaimed her arm and squirmed lower on the bed. Belle stayed on her side and wrapped the wolf in a strong embrace when she buried her face in Belle's ample bosom. Ruby held her back, smothering herself in the love the other woman offered. Belle felt a small shudder before a cool droplet slid onto her breast. "If you ever…" she started.

"Shhh, Sweatheart, nothing's going to happen to me," Belle soothed the wounded wolf.

"It might. Storybrooke is dangerous, and Gold isn't exactly nuts about you being with me," Ruby countered. Pointed fingers dug into Belle's shoulder blade needlessly. Ruby couldn't get closer, but the librarian endured the discomfort patiently and loved her need to try.

"Rumple would have acted by now if he intended to harm either of us. We're okay," she assured the wolf. It had surprised her, too, when The Dark One allowed her to leave so easily, but she'd not questioned the gift he'd offered in her freedom.

"How can I help you, Ruby?" She whispered into dark hair. More tears wet her chest. Blue eyes closed against her own, and she endured the swirling storm of helplessness within her lover. It calmed to sniffles and hiccups after a few minutes. Loosening the death grip on the thin woman's body, Belle leaned back and wiped wetness from flushed cheeks.

The wolf stared at a spot on the yellow wall of the loft apartment above the library, not really seeing anything. "Regina's my sister," Ruby confessed, her voice hollow and distant from any emotion.

"What?"

Eyelids fell slowly on puffy brown eyes. "Regina's my half-sister. My mother had an affair with Henry while she was serving as his personal guard." Trepidation filled those kind, expressive eyes when they opened to gauge her lover's reaction. Belle and Regina avoided each other. Regina had damaged her, hurt her, so much. Ruby soothed the nightmares, calmed the fears on days when Regina's presence trembled in her True Love's fingertips. And Regina, she allowed the guilt to consume her. The situation sucked.

"Belle?" A thousand different thoughts flickered over blue eyes tinted a sea green in the yellow light streaming through the window from the streetlight just outside. The librarian's big brain failed to latch onto any one coherent sentence, so she remained quiet until she identified at least one emotion that made sense. "I'm sorry," Ruby whispered, tears already dropping onto her cheeks.

Belle caught her as she tried to roll away and ducked her face to Ruby's neck. "You are not responsible for her actions, Ruby. I just need a moment," she assured her fragile lover. Ruby nodded and relaxed into the embrace. Belle kissed her neck. "I won't make you choose between loving her and loving me. You must know that, right?"

"Thank you."

Belle pulled back again and tucked dark hair behind Ruby's ear, wiped her tears, cupped her cheek. "You never need to thank me for loving you." She leaned forward and kissed the tip of Ruby's nose. "I don't know how I'd keep going if I ever lost you, either," she answered Ruby's earlier sentiment and lowered her mouth an inch to meet the one she never grew tired of kissing.

Ruby offered no resistance to the hand pushing her shoulder into the mattress and focused on the lips that followed the new position. Long fingers wrapped around the hips that settled atop her thinner form, letting the feeling of Belle's body surrounding her to melt the fear and uncertainty. "Let me take care of you," the librarian pleaded into her mouth.

She sat up and grabbed the hem of the lime green camisole with crossed arms. Hair pulled loose and cascaded over alabaster skin, cutting beautiful dark swirls and angles over the pale chest and shoulder as she tossed it away. Belle's breath hitched, and her shoulders pulled forward slightly as they always had when she revealed herself. The insecurity always baffled Ruby, but she'd also not been dropped from palm to palm like a sack of coins her entire life. The wolf's eyes caressed the sculpture, appreciating all of it before finding those pale blue eyes in the darkness. They'd struggled making love for so long, with Ruby careful not to look at her for fear of making the shy woman feel like an object like so many others had done. Belle needed to be seen, they'd discovered. She needed to feel desired as a woman and not a political chess piece.

So, Ruby always took a moment to look, let Belle see her look.

Hair surrounded her face when Belle leaned forward again, encasing her in the addictive scent of her lover. Larger breasts covered her own, and Ruby surrendered her mind as much as her body. Neither of them wanted the loneliness of sleep when it brought no respite.

By noon the next day, Ruby paid for it severely. She blamed it on lack of sleep, anyway, when she tossed her apron down in the kitchen and informed Granny that she intended to go to the library for the rest of the day. The elder Lucas said nothing, just grunted and nodded and scraped a spatula on the grease trap of the grill. Monday's were always slow anyway, and two of her servers already cleaned the place spotless out of boredom. She waved to them and stepped into the cold. Winters in Maine sucked almost as much as winters in The Enchanted Forest. She found Belle in the stacks standing on a step stool on one tip-toe returning a book to its proper home. A set of blue high heels sat primly to the side.

"Boo!" She yelled and caught the smaller woman when she tipped off the stool. Her wolf strength and reflexes barely strained keeping her lover safe.

"Ruby Lucas," she snapped and slapped at the hands once safely back on the floor. "Aren't you supposed to be at work?" She grumbled and used Ruby's shoulder for balance as she slipped into her heels.

"I missed you," Ruby she explained in an even tone and watched the anger drain from her partner's face.

Short arms wrapped around her tiny waist, and Belle tucked her forehead against her neck. "I thought it was just me," she murmured. Something had changed for them the short hours before dawn, a good something but something all the same. The physical separation of the small street between them may as well have been The Enchanted Forest, too far. They moved towards the front of the library with lazy steps, just happy to be wrapped around each other again. Belle tugged her waste at the first stack and pressed onto her toes for a deep kiss that Ruby returned enthusiastically. Hands gripped thin hips tightly and shoved the wolf against the bookshelf, and Ruby hummed at the aggression.

They sprang apart when someone cleared their throat. Regina raised an amused eyebrow but remained otherwise silent while they tugged their clothes back into place. Ruby glanced at sister and then her partner, not quite sure what to say now that Belle knew about her lineage.

"Henry's here," Regina broke the silence and clasped her hands in front of her hips. "School ended early today, and he wanted new books. We're all preparing for the storm that's supposed to arrive in a few hours."

"Why don't you go help him pick out some books," Belle suggested to Ruby. "He can't reach the science fiction books he's been reading without the stepstool. Next stack over, three rows down."

"Are you sure?" Her eyes bounced to Regina who rolled hers and then back to Belle who huffed and crossed her arms. "Okay, fine, just checking." She loved Ruby's protective side but loathed being treated like a damsel. The wolf ambled in the appropriate direction, and both brunettes watched her leave the awkward tension. Today, Belle protected Ruby.

Without speaking, she crossed to the circulation desk and put a hand on her hip when several more carts of returned books greeted her. Apparently, all of Storybrooke caught Henry's idea on the same day. They'd known about the storm for days now. She dropped both hands to her side and whirled back to Regina. The older royal flinched in surprise from the sudden movement but held the angry gaze with reservation and poise.

"You're going to give her this," Belle demanded.

"I beg your pardon?" Regina shifted, her stance widening slightly in challenge.

"Henry. They both enjoy the time they spend together, and it makes her feel better. Emma asked her to take care of him in that idiotic letter, and you're going to give that to her." Belle crossed her arms and tipped her chin upwards, daring Regina to defy the directive.

"My son is none of your concern, Miss French, and you'd do well to watch your tone," Regina threatened.

A band of tension snapped and crackled in the air. Neither woman willing to concede, they glared with crossed arms and bent brows. Belle laughed, startling the older woman. Her hands smacked her thighs limply and hung by the black leggings beneath the green plaid skirt. Regina's eyes searched hers, looking for the inspiration behind the insanity.

"You're not going to hurt me," Belle called the bluff, still chuckling.

"Don't be so certain." Regina rolled her eyes and stared towards the stacks. The Evil Queen had been reduced to empty threats that still worked on other people because of their fear, an empty gun.

"And your son is my concern because Ruby is my concern. Keeping them apart is not fair to either of them, and you know it," Belle continued atop Regina's muttering. "You don't get to ignore this. He is your child, and your personal feelings about Ruby should not be a factor. Yes, you raised him, but Emma has become a wonderful parent, too." Something in Regina's face changed, softened. Still, she refused to acknowledge Belle's ranting. "Regina," she snapped.

"Put your teeth away, Bookworm," Regina said softly in a voice that wasn't friendly but wasn't exactly hostile. Belle threw up her hands in disgust and returned to the carts of books waiting on her attention. "That's the first time I've seen him smile since I told him about Emma's departure," Regina murmured, not really to her, but to the closest person with which to share the moment.

Belle followed Regina's gaze down the stacks. Ruby jumped and slapped the balcony, obviously tapping into her wolf strength. Henry cheered, Ruby bowed in a grand flourish. "Can you touch that?" Henry asked and pointed to the beam that supported the second floor beneath her apartment.

"She needs this, Regina," Belle repeated and watched Ruby laugh when she missed the beam by a few inches. She landed in a crouch and sprang back into the air a few seconds later. "She misses you."

A muscle in Regina's neck jumped, and she bowed her head against whatever emotion pulled through her. "So, she's told you of our unique connection?"

"Last night," Belle confirmed. "She'll probably be angry at me for telling you that, but you're both so damned stubborn that you defy the laws of natural selection."

"Did you just called me stupid?" Regina bit.

Belle smirked and turned back to her books. "Now that we're clear I'm always right," she sassed because she knew she could. Regina would never have dreamed of hurting her while Ruby loved her, and that gave her some leverage. She'd never have used it for more than slithering under the other woman's skin, but it still made her bold.

Regina opened her mouth to speak, but a gust of cold wind announced the arrival of yet another visitor. "Hi, Robin," Belle greeted. Regina's eyes slipped shut, a deep, cleansing breath expanded her chest to full capacity and then deflated.

He shook snow from his arms and stamped his boots. "Belle," he returned. "Regina?" He smiled brightly, and Belle pretended not to notice the tension radiating from the mayor. "Hi," he said softly and approached with equally gentle footsteps.

"Hello, Robin. Where's Roland?" She asked.

"Visiting with Granny and Cassidy at the diner. He has quite the way with the ladies," he explained playfully and wiggled his eyebrows. "Just needed to return these," he added for Belle and slid two books onto the desk.

He drew a grin from Regina and took that as a sign to approach. His large hands covered her shoulders, squeezed gently. "How are you?" He ducked to meet her eyes, and she touched his cheek, scruffy beard tickling her palm. She deserved none of his kindness.

"I'm a bit overwhelmed at the moment, honestly. Schools dismissed at noon today, and I still have storm preparations to finalize." She crossed her arms over her chest protectively. "David is attempting to help, but Emma usually handled those sort of things," she admitted quietly. They'd made a good team.

"How can my men and I help? I'll ask Granny if she could watch Roland for a while," he offered.

"Henry can stay here with us," Belle added, never glancing up from the catalogue as she checked books back into the computer. "Roland, too. It's much safer than him roaming the diner around knives and hot coffee."

"Thanks, Belle," Robin said, relieved. "I'll be right back," he told Regina. Touching his shoulders lightly, she accepted the kiss he offered. He looked surprised when it ended, not having expected the affection. "Are you okay?"

"Perhaps you and Roland would like to wait out the storm at my house," she offered, and his eyes lit up. She rolled hers, but it lacked the usual irritation. "I worry about you in the woods. Why haven't you found an apartment yet?"

He drew her closer, fingers linked around her waist. "Housing in Storybrooke isn't especially available, and I like the forest. We survived just fine in the Enchanted Forest. We'll be fine here." He kissed her, and it finally felt good again. Regina smiled up at him. "But I will take you up on that offer. Be right back," he said and headed for the door.

Regina watched him without turning her body. Belle sucked a breath to speak, and she rolled her eyes. "Shut up, Miss French."


	10. In the Silence

So, I'm all kinds of digging on Zelena. Like, I "might have a problem" digging on Zelena. Shout out to LucidLucifer for snapping at me to stop procrastinating and get on with it... because artists obsess, okay?

Songs: Breathe Me By Sia (I prefer the Jasmine Thompson cover, but whatever moves ya) and What If by Emilie Autumn

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Zelena let out a little shriek and barreled into the cabin with the bow and quiver slung over her shoulder. She donned buckskin pants caked with snow up to the apex of her thighs and a thick, long-sleeve coat of the same material turned white from the heavy flakes. Another storm crashed into Storybrooke, Emma reasoned. She stayed on the bed on her side, shoulder leaned against the wall, and watched the witch shrug the weapon and bolt back into the snow. She dragged the small deer into the cabin, spilling snow from a pile outside the door. Zelena struggled to seal them inside from the whipping wind and undulating snow bank. Latching the wooden handle that denied the cold wind, Zelena twisted and collapsed against the door. Her breath came in short, jagged gasps as her lungs adjusted to the warmth of the fire. Pale skin flushed. Normally vibrant red hair soaked brown from melting snow.

Emma watched one more second and then returned to the coloring book splayed on the bed. She hadn't even asked where Zelena stole the activity book and crayons, thankful for something to occupy her mind. A tiny squirrel stared up at her. She'd colored his fur green, she didn't have a gray crayon. Zelena pushed off the door, and Emma glanced up again.

The witch winced and touched her shoulder gingerly. Emma noticed the blood. Zelena untied the jacket and shrugged it from the uninjured shoulder. She held her weight on the table on the good arm and breathed, preparing herself for the pain.

"What happened?" Emma asked and hated herself for caring. Since the truth potion incident, though, Zelena hadn't harmed her. She'd lengthened the chain, which allowed Emma to reach the fire. She prepared her own tea and food, mostly when Zelena ventured outside to do whatever it was that Zelena did. Several days ago, the sorceress dragged in another mattress that looked like the ones used at the convent, and Emma grinned at her obvious vendetta against the fairies. Zelena slept on the floor and rolled up the padding, blanket and all during the day. It made no sense, but as long as she kept her distance, Emma tried not to cause too much stir.

The witch reached over her head and swiped drenched red hair across her neck. It wrapped around the other side in a dark, wet coil. She sucked a deep breath and tugged on the coat. She whimpered, groaned, and collapsed against the table again without moving coat.

"Just use magic," Emma called to her without looking up from the squirrel. She wrote _ZeZe: The Wicked Squirrel of Oz_ across the top of the page. "Regina's not coming out in that to investigate a magical spike."

Zelena scowled but remained silent as she snagged a piece of kindling from the wood box. She bit down and defiantly held Emma's amused gazed while she peeled away the buckskin. She plucked at the wound on the back of her shoulder, and Emma finally realized why it hurt so much. The witch squealed around the stick and used the tattered piece of jacket to pull something several inches long from the wound. Knees hit the floor hard, and Zelena, barely caught herself on the good arm. The wet stick dropped in front of her, covered in teeth prints and saliva.

"For fuck's sake," Emma growled at herself and closed the coloring book. "Here," she snapped when she rolled from the bed.

Zelena sprang onto her butt with the injured arm clutched tightly to her chest. The other hand rose with the threat of magic. Emma froze. Zelena's emerald eyes wavered between fear and pain, and Emma felt a tug of sympathy pull through her heart. As much as the witch scared her, she pitied Zelena. She'd been gone a week and figured most of the people in her life went mad with worry. Zelena lived in the forest alone for months with no one to miss her, no one to mourn her – a design of her own making, but it still sang to Emma's compassion. The Savior held out her hands and slowly sat on the hearth.

"Let me help you," she said.

"Why?" Zelena asked. She searched for the trick behind The Savior's kind eyes.

"Because if you die from an infection, I'm going to die of starvation, and that is not a way I want to go," Emma answered honestly. "I'm not going to hurt you."

The witch waited, judging, calculating the different outcomes of this scenario. Emma sat cross-legged on the hearth and fiddled with the chain attached to the shackle around her ankle. She kept her eyes carefully pointed at her lap when Zelena edged into arm's length and turned enough for Emma to see the wound if Emma leaned over her shoulder. She flinched violently at the first touch of fingertips against her bicep. Emma held her breath, stared at Zelena's ear, and touched her again. Emma pulled the long-sleeve cotton shirt to the side, down, then up.

"I need you to take your shirt off. I can't really see anything," Emma informed her captor softly, scared to spook the woman into frying her crispy with any sudden noise or movement.

Zelena nodded and wriggled the other arm beneath the hem. Emma stretched it over her head and peeled the fabric away from the deep puncture on the back of her shoulder. "What the hell happened?" She asked and reached for the bucket of hot water with the rag. It scraped the stone hearth, and Zelena jumped. Emma waited a few seconds before wringing water from the rag.

"Small avalanche shook loose a rock slide. Slate. May as well have been a pile of daggers." Zelena sucked a sharp breath through her teeth at the first dab of the warm cloth, but no other sound passed her lips while Emma cleaned away the blood. The gash stretched the length of Emma's fingers and palm, a jagged slice and a deeper puncture where the slate broke off in her skin. Deep blotches of purple and blue peppered her shoulder and ribs and the little piece of back Emma saw. How had she dragged back that deer, even one that small one, in that sort of pain?

"Can you turn a little so I can reach better?" Emma asked and dunked the rag again. "You probably need stitches."

Zelena's head bowed, jutting her spine into little mountains at the base of her neck. Ribs expanded with a deep breath beneath bruised flesh. With careful control, Zelena set the uninjured hand on the floor and levered her body in a tight arch. Emma's breath jumped against the blockage in her throat, and she forced it out of her mouth a long silent breeze. Thin white crisscrosses of scar tissue cut into the otherwise smooth, pale skin. The fire flickered and danced against the scars, caressing them with yellows and oranges. Fingers entered Emma's vision and traced the thin lines before she recognized the hand as her own.

"Don't," Zelena warned – voice dropping into a deep growl, thick and tight with unspoken emotion.

"I'm sorry," Emma apologized. The words sank deeper, meant more. They both pretended not to hear the sympathy, the pity.

Emma cleaned the wound as best she could with minimal supplies. She dug another sliver of stone from the hole and poked around for more. Harming Zelena should have brought her some sort of satisfaction, but it only churned her guts into a thick knot. "Do you have a needle and thread?" Zelena raised onto her knees and snagged the sewing basket next to the wood box.

"Want to pick your color?" Emma asked, distancing herself from what needed to be done. Zelena remained silent, maybe she hadn't heard her. "Princess pink it is," she joked. The witch clicked her tongue.

"Savior," she murmured. "I need you to take some of that white powder. You'll have about five minutes before you pass out." She pointed to the shelf of herbs and spices. Emma avoided them while cooking because they weren't labeled.

"Zelena, why the hell would I go through the trouble of patching you up just to attack you if you passed out?" The needle glowed red in the flames, sterilized. Emma waited in the silence as it cooled.

"Why did you give me that truth potion?" Emma asked, intending to distract her, and set a hand on the witch's thin shoulder. Zelena hissed when she pushed the flesh together.

"Wait," Zelena pleaded and grabbed the piece of kindling she'd dropped.

She lasted for two stitches before Emma lowered her limp body to the hearth and finished the job. So many times she almost gave into the urge to bash her brains against the warm stone. Each time the surge of adrenaline tingled her fingertips, she looked at the scars on Zelena's back – old, jagged things. They'd not been stitched, and she failed to place their origins, though they looked similar to her own whip marks. Rumpelstiltskin hadn't tortured her, so she'd obtained the wounds as a child. Emma finished the last stitch and tied off the thread. Again, she traced the raised bumps on pale skin, fingertips sliding down her spine and over her bra. A smattering of freckles bordered the lines, and Emma imagined the tiny dots had been flayed, cut out of her flesh by angry hands. Guilt tugged at her chest at the violation of Zelena's wishes, so she wrangled the other woman into her arms and lifted her to the bed. She'd risked life and limb to bring them fresh meat, so she deserved the more comfortable bed.

Coloring book and crayons in hand, Emma spread the thinner padding and sprawled on her belly. She spared a thought to the deer bleeding onto the floor but had no clue what to do with it. She doodled around the edges until her eyes drooped. The cabin, despite Zelena's presence, brought an odd sort of peace. Only the crackle of the fire and occasionally a bird outside the door disturbed the silence. No cell phones vibrated and no needy citizens required attention she lacked the energy to give. She could have run days ago – or at least tried – but she stayed without struggle. Here, no one expected anything of her. Zelena paid her no mind most of the time as she moved about the cabin and muttered to herself. It unnerved Emma when she first realized how far off the path Zelena strayed, but after a few days, the eccentric mumbling comforted her in a way only someone as equally damaged could have understood.

"The world needs their savior more than it needs their queen," Regina whispered into her ear.

Emma dropped the crayon and jerked to find the source of the words. The Queen knelt on both knees beside the bed. In her hand, a bloody heart dripped crimson tears onto the padding. "Regina?"

"The world needs their savior, Emma," she repeated and touched Emma's wrist, turning it palm up. The fire shimmered over the blood covering the dark heart.

"Regina, don't make me do this," Emma begged. Her body froze under the magical influence of the woman cupping her hand. "Please, just go away." She closed her eyes against the specter.

"You couldn't save them, Emma, but I can save you," Regina whispered. Warm lips kissed away the cooling tears on her cheek but not nearly fast enough to catch all of them. "I love you, Emma."

"No!" Emma jerked her hand away from Regina's grasp. "I won't kill you again." Regina grabbed her hand again. "Regina, no!"

"You left me to die alone," Ruby's voice accused from behind. Emma whipped onto her back. What remained of her best friend's body stood over her. Ugly, red lines cut down her naked torso. Another tore across her stomach, severing body from hips. "Do you know how they killed me, Emma? They tied me in the square and hacked me into pieces."

"Emma, let me save you," Regina begged. A hand slicked with blood grabbed her wrist again, forcing the heart upon her palm once more.

"Stop it. I'm sorry." She pulled free from Regina's fingers and dropped the heart. "I shouldn't have left. I'm sorry, Ruby!" She screamed.

"Look, Emma," the wolf commanded and dug her fingers into the gash in her chest. Flesh ripped and tore, opening to reveal the dripping entrails spilling over her friend's hips. Belle stood at her shoulder. Her mouth opened and closed, but only gurgling bubbles popped and rumbled in the deep gash over her throat. Blood spilled onto the yellow dress covered with mud that she'd worn into battle.

Emma scrambled away from the gruesome image. Her back hit the wall, knocking the breath from her lungs. "I'm sorry. I'm so sorry," she gasped. Fear trembled in the fingertips that covered her face against the images already burned inof those she loved most.

"Emma, you can't help them, but I can save you. I love you," Regina whispered into her ear.

"You're going to leave me again, Emma. Some Savior you are," Ruby taunted and crossed her arms over sinewy cords of blood and flesh dangling over her bare skeleton.

"Savior," a foreign accent flowed from Regina's mouth. Emma blinked. "You're dreaming," the accent informed her.

"You killed me, Emma," Belle's dulcet tone added to her misery. "You watched me die and abandoned everyone to save yourself."

"Why did you leave me again, Mom?" Mason asked, his little ashen face contorted into a grimace of pain and betrayal.

"Mason, I didn't mean to leave you," Emma reached for him. She came to her knees and grabbed his shoulders roughly. He cried out pushed her away. Her back and head slammed into the wall. Mason grabbed his right shoulder and glared at her.

"You're dreaming," the accent repeated.

"Let me save you, Emma."

"You always leave, Mom. You always leave me."

"You left me to die alone, Emma. You left all of us to save yourself."

"Stop it," she pleaded and surrendered to Regina's fierce grip around her forearms. The bloody, broken bodies of those she loved most circled her, all yelling, all broken, all betrayed and abandoned. "I didn't cast the damn curse, Regina did!"

A sharp blow to her jaw shocked her. The tang of blood exploded in her mouth. Warm liquid tickled her chin. "You're dreaming," the voice repeated and strong arms shook her into reality.

Lids slammed on puffy green eyes. When they opened again, she came face to face with the redhead squeezing her wrists. She collapsed against the other woman's chest and clutched at the shirt over bruised ribs. "Oh," Zelena squeaked and looked down at the woman wrapped around her midriff. Hands covered in blood and flecks of meat from her earlier kill hovered above the other woman, and Zelena wondered if they refused to touch the other woman because of the mess or because she flailed like a cat in water in the face of human interaction.

She glanced at The Savior, opened her mouth, closed it, and bounced her eyes from item to item in the cabin. She'd not taken inventory in a while. Two mugs, two plates, two bowls. She needed to conservatively use ginger root if she intended to stretch it through the winter. Sharp fingers dug into her lower back, clinging onto the lifeline she reluctantly offered. On a convenient note, her mind continued, plenty of fresh snow fall meant fresh drinking water. Hot tears soaked into her shirt and cooled against her belly. Salt, once the storm broke, she needed to liberate more salt for preserving meet and canning vegetables. Emma hiccupped, and she bowed her head in a fruitless effort to see the other woman's face. Emma sighed, and Zelena rolled her eyes. Her shoulder throbbed with the effort of keeping it elevated above the blubbering woman's head.

"Have you finished?" She asked. No anger or irritation laced the tone, but neither had compassion.

Emma pushed from her thighs and onto her side facing away from the stunted witch. Zelena stood, hands still poised above her shoulders. The Savior stared at the door with despondent eyes that could not be trusted around knives and cold weather. She dunked them into the bucket of water to rinse the guck away and wrung out the towel. Emma glared when it squished against her shoulder where Zelena tossed it.

"You've gotten blood on your arms, I'm afraid," she explained and moved on the other side of the table. She poured a cup of tea and added a pinch of the white powder. "I've added a sedative," she explained just as she had the first night in the cabin and set the mug on the floor beside Emma's head.

Emma chucked the rag back. It smooshed against Zelena's hip and left a huge wet spot on her ass. The witch snagged it from the floor with a click of her tongue but said nothing. A tiny grin tugged at The Savior's mouth. Zelena dove straight back into the project of procuring meat to survive the storm. What looked like a leg hung from a hook in front of the fireplace. Zelena donned a tan tank top that barely covered her back and belly and clung to her body. She looked so freaking, well… not normal, but not Wicked Witch-y either.

"Come now, cooperate," she muttered to the piece of meat currently struggling against her blade.

"Totally digging this eco-warrior, Amazon goddess thing you've got going on," Emma teased the daft woman. No real reason why surfaced in her mind, so she tried not to analyze the need to reach out to her captor. She needed to feel. She wanted to know that she was real because nothing felt real anymore.

"What?" Zelena wrinkled her nose.

Emma raked her eyes over the outfit and back to her face. "Oh," she breathed and followed Emma's previous trek down her body. Without further comment, she turned back to the raw venison. A piece of light green cloth that looked like her nightgown held some sort of salve against the stitched wound.

"How long was I asleep?" Emma wondered aloud. It felt like two minutes.

Zelena tipped the knife towards the deer carcass by the door basically deconstructed and picked clean. "It's well after two o'clock."

"Do you ever sleep?" Emma tugged at threads of conversation and sipped the tea. She looked forward to the dreamlessness it offered.

"I wanted to know if the portal worked, and you refused to answer my questions," Zelena blurted. She shrugged, winced. "You asked earlier why I gave you the truth serum. That's why," she finished the thought and turned back to the deer leg. "There's nothing but tea and sedative in your cup. I can't remember the name of the herb, but I can recognize it in the forest."

"What are you going to do with me, Zelena? Why are you keeping me here?" She'd stopped caring days ago, stopped desiring escape. Where could she have gone, anyway? Back to her life where she waited on edge every single day until she irreversibly hurt someone she loved?

Zelena turned to face her, but those bright green eyes studied the blood on her hands and the blade she held. Empty fingers flexed, bulging toned forearm muscles, and relax. The blood stuck skin to skin and pulled free in tickling vines. "I don't know," the witch answered. Emma believed her.

"Why did you save me? You could have just left me in the barn." Something in Zelena's eyes made her want to understand. She behaved like The Queen, acting out and using whatever means necessary to manipulate a certain result. Where there had only been The Wicked Witch before now stood a broken woman, a woman she wanted to understand.

"Drink your tea, Savior," Zelena snapped and whirled back to her work. She winced almost immediately due to overextending her arm. The uninjured left hand hovered over her shoulder, aching to touch the wounded area, to relieve the pressure. It shook for a moment and then slapped onto the venison with a sharp crack.

"How are you standing right now? Your shoulder just got filleted by a rock slide, Xena."

Zelena hummed a slow melody and cut into the ham. Emma sipped, already feeling a bit dizzy. This cut on her lip from Zelena's harsh awakening stung when she pressed it against hot porcelain. "Stop it," Zelena murmured to the project. Emma settled onto the bedding and closed her eyes. The frozen outside storm raged and howled beyond the boundaries of their untouchable cocoon of warmth. She drifted off to a soft accent berating raw meat and the soothing crackle of the fire.

When Emma grumbled to life, the same nausea assaulted her stomach like the first time she ingested the sedative. She rolled onto her back and waited. Little taps of Zelena's boots moved around the cabin and echoed inside her skull. She pressed heels into her eyes and groaned. Everything vibrated against the floor more acutely than when she'd woken on the bed. Beyond that, she felt rested again. Exhaustion slipped out of her muscles and back into the recesses of her mind.

"I made mint water," Zelena said softly. Emma heard her kneel beside the bedroll and cracked her eyes to find the witch sitting cross-legged with a ramrod straight spine, a sling around her good shoulder to support the injured arm, and Emma's chipped mug without the handle balanced on her knee.

Emma pressed her hands into the padding and sat up slowly. Her legs still felt useless, a side effect of the herb, she figured since it happened twice. "Zelena, if that has another truth serum in it, just dump it out and ask me what you want to know. I can evade your questions without splitting my mind in two."

"Just mint," she said. Emma reached for the mug. Zelena hadn't actually lied to her yet.

The warm liquid eased the ache in her throat and sinuses from a night spent crying, and the mint soothed the roiling waves of acid in her belly. Zelena picked at a seam of buckskin on her calf and sat silently while she acclimated to reality again. She lifted her arm in the sling and grimaced but readjusted it silently. It must have hurt much more than she purveyed. Emma gave her privacy to show pain by lowering her gaze to the steaming cup hugged to her chest. The cool scent wafting up cleared the brain fog.

"They beat her," Emma murmured. Zelena moved her eyes upwards to study the Savior's without raising her head. "Rumpelstiltskin tried to kill her multiple times, but Ruby's hard to kill. Physically, anyway." She raised the mug to her mouth to cover the shudder inspired by images of her subconscious. The scent of Ruby's blood overpowered the mint, and Emma swallowed a different type of nausea.

She spoke into the mug, to the wall, to anything except the last person she should have trusted. "Things weren't that great in the other timeline. People were starving to death and desperate. So desperate that people close to Ruby who had known her for her entire life took money to assassinate her. They beat her almost to death and left her for dead in an alley. She only survived because of her wolf."

When she finally met emerald eyes, Zelena flinched. Emma's big stormy soul held unreadable emotions – shock and grief, yes, but other things The Savior refused to hide. "I didn't put anything in it," she defended before Emma attacked her again.

Emma snorted, one side of her mouth tugging into a lopsided grin that held no joy. "I know. Thanks for that." Zelena's eyebrow jumped in response, but she said nothing.

"Let me look at your shoulder," Emma left behind her grief and moved into the morning.

"I'm fine," the witch protested, but Emma already set her mug on the floor by her knee and moved to the other side of the bedroll.

Emma tugged at the knot around the piece of fabric and uncovered the wound before Zelena objected again. The salve smelled like peppermint and some sort of menthol, probably to ease the pain. "Where did you learn to use herbs like this?"

"My father and I lived off the land in Oz," Zelena said quietly, like a cat testing the texture of snow beneath her paws for the first time. Emma nodded, though Zelena never saw it and covered the wound. It would need another bandage and fresh salve that night, but everything looked clean. She tied the knot loosely in front of her shoulder, enough to keep it covered but allowed it breathe.

"Hold on. I'm going to make you a better sling," Emma murmured. Zelena hunched a bit, uncomfortable with attention, but stayed quiet as Emma snagged a long scarf from the wooden peg by the door. The chain around her ankle rattled against hardwood. Emma shook it out of the way and knelt behind Zelena. The sorceress hissed when Emma lifted her wrist out of the other one and removed it from her neck.

"Hold your arm where it's most comfortable," she instructed gently and forced her eyes from the scars bared once more in the deep back of the tank top. "I'm just going to measure how much I need, okay?" Part of Emma slipped into self-preservation mode, but the other half of her clenched at the thought of causing more discomfort the deranged supernatural entity holding her prisoner. Muscles in her back and arms remained coiled and tense, but Zelena endured The Savior wrapped around her from behind. Emma tucked her elbow into the scarf, creating a hammock of support and knotted the loose end around her neck.

"Better?" Emma asked and squeezed her uninjured shoulder because she could.

Zelena twisted her neck towards the voice's source and accidentally bumped her forehead on Emma's chin. The Savior stayed perfectly still, so Zelena maintained the almost intimate contact. "Why would you help me?" She asked, voice tight with something Emma desired to understand.

"Because it's who I am," Emma answered honestly and leaned back slightly to meet bright green eyes turned up to her face. "It doesn't matter how many times I get kicked or what someone has done to me. I can't just turn into them by proxy, my heart doesn't work that way, and I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I acted like I didn't care when I could have done something."

Zelena's eyes flickered, searching for the lie beneath the legend currently brushing a warm thumb where shoulder met bicep. Emma let her look, eyes just as wide and scared. "You're a naïve fool," Zelena concluded. The words lacked malice – an observation.

Emma grinned as her eyes slipped shut in the face of the truthful insult. "Yeah." Emma exhaled in a deprecating guffaw that moved the hair on Zelena's neck with the force of self-loathing. "I guess I am."

Emma squeezed her arm again and pushed to her feet. "Want some breakfast? I've got venison with ginger and onion soup. Or potatoes with no butter and venison." She glanced over her shoulder to find Zelena staring at the bicep where her hand rested only seconds earlier.

Another moment passed, and then Zelena jerked into action, finding her feet with a smooth rock forward. She may have used magic for most of her fuckery, but Emma banked on the witch's abilities in a physical altercation. She moved far more agilely than she'd ever anticipated.

"I've seen the concoctions you've created. You're hopeless with the proper rendering of meat. Chop the onions and tend the fire before it goes out," she ordered.

Emma mock saluted. Zelena rolled her eyes. Breakfast appeared in silence.


	11. Manic

Whoo! So, here we go! Thanks for all the follows and reviews. Please buckle your seat belts and keep your hands and feet out of the aisles. Please be sure to ask before touching your neighbors, but I highly encourage it.

Enjoy!

Song: Manic by Plumb (Also, how cool is it that I found a song that completely matched the title of this chapter coincidentally and not because I got inspired by it.) Bam!

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 _Ruby grumbled to herself as she stepped into the cold. The bag of trash in her left hand bounced against her leg, and something dribbled against her calf. She sank further into the sulk that followed her around all evening. Perfect, she loved smelling like rotten milk or raw chicken when she went home and wanted some loving from a former princess. Trudging through the knee-high snow in the alley behind the diner, she glared at the dumpster. They'd not made enough that night to justify opening, but Granny insisted – something about her needing a mental distraction from the Emma situation. She counted inventory, every frustrating little pea, until a closing time that had seen no customers three hours prior. The damage left by the storm kept everyone inside huddled under blankets. Only emergency workers clearing the roads and David ventured out that day._

 _She tossed the bags into the dumpster and wiped her hands on the already soiled jeans. She took a moment to stare towards the moon longingly. The mystical orb shone brightly on the fresh powder. The night sky in winter after a storm always cleared so beautifully, like magic, like a movie. Already she felt the wolf scratching to be set loose. The beast rippled beneath her skin and clawed at her flesh from the inside out, pacing the length of her body in search of a weak spot that might offer it freedom. Two more days until she transformed and ran beneath that ancient satellite in the only form that really ever offered any freedom to the chains society had placed on her. In the woods with the earth beneath her paw, Ruby found solace waiting in the darkness. She glanced at the light in the upstairs window across the street. Belle waited._

 _She sighed heavily, sending condensed white steam over the light of the moon, and took in the ethereal enchantment of the lunar phenomenon._

 _With reluctant steps, she turned back to the diner. A loud puff of air caught her ear a moment before flecks of powder burned her eyes. "What the fuck?" She rubbed her face, but the more she touched the foreign dust, the more it seared her eyes._

 _A blow landed on the back of her knees, and she caught herself in the snow, tucking into a roll beyond the reach of the attacker. One person, her nose identified, covered in the scent of herbs that masked their unique musk beneath. Her eardrum turned, hyperactive in the blindness. Wind rippled around the club they swung. She raised her hands to catch the weapon at the last second. A magically charged blow slammed into her chest, knocking her flat on her back, breathless. Again, she rolled and heard the thump of wood hitting a puffy blanket of snow, probably where her head had been. She used the momentum to find her feet, but footsteps told her she'd not moved fast enough._

 _A sharp crack and distinctive pop exploded on the outside of her knee. An animalistic scream followed the dislocation and echoed into the silent night as blows rained down on the quiet wolf._

Zelena slipped out of the diner as the lights of the bottom floor of the library illuminated the circulation desk. She leapt from the stoop by the front door, inserting herself between concrete and bushes, and covered her mouth as the door across the street opened. Zelena watched the short woman approach in flat, soft boots of faux leather, flannel sleep pants, and a long trench coat drawn tightly with her hands but not fastened. Belle yawned, barely catching it in her palm, as she ascended the steps. Zelena released a long, silent breath and clutched her sack of stolen goods to her chest. If she ran now, would Belle have caught her?

"Ruby?" Belle pushed open the unlocked diner door. Her partner should have locked that an hour ago, at the very latest, and been home shortly afterwards. "Ruby, are you okay?"

Zelena lost the next words but crept around the front of the diner to keep the librarian in her line of sight. Belle searched the empty room with her eyes and tugged the long coat tighter around her throat. The former princess disappeared into the kitchen and Zelena took the reprieve to glance around the empty street. No one ventured out on nights like that one, and any who dared found the evidence of their presence erased from the snow by the wind or more snow. She hefted the sack higher on the good shoulder, she really had taken more than she should have to move as swiftly as required, especially with a stitched shoulder.

Still, she watched the scene unfold with a tingle of adrenaline as Belle moved to the back door. The call for her lover echoed against the tranquil night, and Zelena used its cover to slip to the corner of the diner and peak around the side. Belle stood at the back door, clutching the coat tightly to her. Even from a distance in the dark, worry lines defined her face. Rumpel's whore, the one he'd left her for, now loved the do-gooding right hand of Snow White. It tickled her as much as it enraged her. A tiny groan demanded both women's attention. Belle searched the darkness for the source, but Zelena froze. She needed to go, but curiosity paralyzed her legs. By the dumpster, a form shifted beneath a layer of white powder.

"Ruby?" Belle called and stepped off the back stoop. The snow bank moaned again. "Ruby!" Belle sprinted to the wolf and skidded to a stop on her knees – her hands already moved the snow before she completely lost forward momentum. In a few seconds, Ruby's face peeped through the blanket of frozen white packed around her.

"Oh gods, Ruby, what happened? Did you fall?" Belle muttered mostly to herself as she uncovered the trembling body beneath the snow. Soon, though, red replaced white on her hands, and Belle froze long enough to check her surroundings for warnings of a lingering threat.

"Hold on, Ruby," she whispered and pulled out her phone. "I'm here, Sweetheart," she comforted the beaten wolf as she punched buttons on the communication device and held it to her ear.

Blue eyes rolled at whatever greeted her on the other line. "Regina, shut up," she snapped, and Zelena leaned harder into the wall to hear the conversation clearly and licked her lips in anticipation. "Someone attacked Ruby behind the diner. It's really bad. Can you flash over here in case they decide to come back while I'm waiting for an ambulance?" Why would Regina bother with protecting her sworn enemy's most valued warrior?

The call must have ended because Belle glared at the device for a moment and then tucked it into a coat pocket. "Hold on, Ruby," she murmured, barely keeping the tears out of her voice. She touched the wolf's swollen face with a light palm. "I'm here," she whispered over and over while she uncovered the wolf. She glanced around again, and Zelena melted into the shadows.

"What the hell happened?" Regina demanded before she completely materialized and startled the younger woman.

"I don't know. I just found her like this," Belle answered, her voice rising to an hysterical pitch now that she knew someone else would take control of the situation. The rising panic intrigued Zelena. She'd never needed anyone with such intrinsic passion, always knew she'd survive the end of relationships. Only living without her power terrified her. Why love when people, more easily than anything else, could be taken in a moment?

"Someone beat her, Regina," Belle continued, but her voice gained some of its control back. "Who would want to hurt Ruby?" Tears glistened and froze on defined cheekbones.

Zelena snorted silently. Emma had been right, Ruby presented the most challenge to physical defeat. So long had passed since she'd seen such brutality, smelled the scent of blood lingering in the moist, salty air. The thrum of battle invigorated her spirit, and she itched to move, to destroy.

"I can think of one person," Regina snipped and met her eyes for a pointed gaze. Zelena felt certain it wasn't her. They believed her dead and gone.

"Why would Rumpel hurt her now? We've been openly together for over a year," Belle bit back. A part of her still jumped to his defense.

"Who else but me would have the capability to beat a young, healthy werewolf this badly?" Regina pushed, cool and calm despite the wildness in her eyes. Ruby's injuries plucked a sensitive chord beneath her skin, and Zelena stared at it, tried to decipher the meaning. Why would her sister care about the wolf enough to come running to her aid in the middle of a frozen night?

"Hold your breath," Regina muttered and grabbed Belle's shoulder none too gently and touched Ruby's arm. They disappeared in a swirl of purple, presumably to the hospital.

Zelena hefted the sack again and started the long trek back to the cabin by walking backwards, stepping in her own footprints when others melted away at the edge of town. When she reached the edge of the forest, the adrenaline of the night surged in her fingertips, aching to be set free in a blast of green energy that brought the earth to its knees. She ran as hard as the newly defined muscles in her legs allowed, leaping over tree roots jutting out of the snow and slipping in snow banks that caught her by surprise. A gleeful cackle echoed on tree trunks, renewing the giddy energy as the sound resonated into her body as she passed. She stumbled through the thick hills of snow outside the cabin and practically fell inside. Emma gasped at the noisy entrance and remained perfectly still where she colored at the table with a green crayon poised above the page.

"What happened?" She queried while Zelena caught her breath against the door. Her flushed face and wide, glassy eyes held a lightness that Emma hadn't seen since her days as The Wicked Witch. She looked alive.

"Nothing, why?" Zelena bounced at her in a defensive maneuver. She controlled the bite in her voice but not the childish elation in her emerald eyes.

Emma's eyes narrowed with sardonic disbelief. "Right. Did you bust your stitches?" She pushed out of the chair and shook loose the chain around her ankle where Blue's magical fairy shackles contained her magic.

Zelena dropped the sack of goodies and shrugged out of the buckskin jacket before Emma reached her and dropped it to the floor, too. The Savior pulled the dark green shirt up her back and hooked it over her head. "Hold that," she teased. Zelena scoffed beneath the fabric and pushed it from her hair, which made it wave and sway with static. Emma smirked at the sight of badass Zelena, Wicked Witch of Oz, suffering the inescapable trap of static electricity. She reached for the bandage around her shoulder, and a blue spark jumped from the witch to her fingertips.

Zelena hissed and glared over her shoulder. "Sorry," Emma muttered and reached for her again.

"Bumbling imbecile," the witch grumbled but remained complacent to Emma's wishes to tend her wound.

"It looks really good. Whatever this miracle salve is, it's working," Emma reported. She took her time tying the strip of fabric back in place, but still Zelena failed to relax even a modicum. They'd explored soft touches all day, Emma initiating all of them, of course. The other woman always relaxed after a few seconds, but not that night.

"Zelena, what happened?" Emma left the shirt where it bunched around her neck and ghosted fingertips down Zelena's arms. Goosebumps erupted beneath her touch, and Emma froze. Green eyes watched the ripple of raised flesh claim more and more skin until freckles and scars on her back stood out in stark contrast.

"Someone nearly saw me in town," she answered and broke free from Emma's enchantment. Ruby's puffy, swollen face flashed behind her eyes, and she snagged the bag from the floor to cover the shudder it inspired in her quickly warming muscles.

"Who?" Emma asked and followed her around the table.

"That unctuous librarian," Zelena snipped. "Does it actually matter?" She added and pulled items from the cloth sack she'd created from a bedsheet.

"What does unctuous mean?" Emma asked, and Zelena actually paused to study the earnestness of the question in Emma's eyes.

"It means that she behaves in a way that is always polite and proper but not always sincere," she explained as her eyes flickered back and forth on Emma's, searching for something she lacked the vocabulary to name much less identify in the other woman.

"Oh," Emma bit her lip and fiddled with the corner of the sack. "Belle's not like that, you know. She's genuinely kind. I mean, she even managed to find something worth loving in The Dark One."

Zelena's eyes darkened. Emma bit her lip again. Right. Zelena had loved him, too, maybe even after all the games ended and the dust settled. "I'm sorry," Emma breathed, not quite sure where to go after her sticking her foot in it that deep. Not just anger, but profoundly etched pain of betrayal and sadness, swirled in a violent maelstrom behind emerald eyes. "Zelena, I'm sorry. I know he hurt you."

"Do not speak of things about which you know nothing," she warned coldly. The deep voice rolled out of her, possessed and gnashing with bloody jowls. Zelena stomped away and needlessly poked at the fire with a long stick. Her shoulders hunched towards her ears, and tension rippled off of her in electrifying waves of energy that filled the cabin with jittery energy that needed to run.

"He hurt Regina, too," Emma confessed because nothing else felt right. "It's not my story to tell, but trust me when I say that breaking your heart the way he did definitely is the better of the two. It's just what he does. He uses people until there is nothing left and then throws them out with the trash. You shouldn't beat yourself up for falling into his trap."

"And you presume what you're doing to be different than what he did?" Green hurricanes swirled in the glassy bits of soul that reflected the lambent flame.

Emma's forehead creased into three white lines. "What am I doing?"

"Touching me, caring for my injuries. You want me to care if you live or die to spare your suffering if my needs ever call for it," Zelena lashed viciously and came to her feet once more in defiance of The Savior's innocent question.

They stared, green upon green in the dim light of the cabin. Emma searched for the glimmer of kindness she'd seen so frequently in Zelena's eyes the past two days. She found cold, deadened pits that glared out at her, at the world, and felt nothing for what they saw. Emma knew that pain. Emma lived that pain. One by one, the tension in her muscles fell away, leaving hollow limbs on the puppet strings that manipulated her movements.

"Zelena, I don't care if I live or die. Why would I care if you do?" Emma asked and turned her back to the witch to finish unpacking the spoils of plundering.

She snagged a cold container and pulled it from the sack. The brown square stared up at her, a coiled snake prepared to strike. The heat from Zelena's arm pressed into her shoulder, and a hand thinner than her own entered her vision and covered the top of the tub. The fingers blurred in the sting of tears behind Emma's eyes. "I brought you butter," she murmured and then disappeared from Emma's side to store the small gift where they kept cold things on a bed of packed snow in a wooden box by the door.


	12. Soulmates?

So, there's been a few ponderings if this intends to venture into SQ territory. The answer is yes, otherwise, I would have marked the couplings in the description differently. That said, there is a huge, honking bunch of crap that needs to happen before that would be possible in the world I've created. Stop focusing on the end and enjoy the journey, lovelies. To the same point, those who feel it's moving too slowly, be patient. There is stuff happening, and I'll tell it how I see fit. I'm trained in The Gothic. You want to really experience slow-moving, go read The Mysteries of Udolpho for 700 some odd pages to find out what's behind a black curtain. I'm not meaning to be snippy, just firm in my repeatedly stated mantra that reviews will not change or influence how I tell a story, so you might as well enjoy the ride as much as possible. And if you feel the need to criticize, please do it in a constructive way that will help me improve my craft because that's really why I'm here - to practice and play with devices. I've spent over a year beating the plot of this story to death, so trust that I know where I'm going because we're only 12 chapters into a 60-70 chapter tale.

Now, to the story!

Song: Better Sorry Than Safe by Halestorm

* * *

Regina sipped burnt coffee, grimacing immediately. The cup and liquid disintegrated in her crushing grip. "I must rectify the coffee problem in this hospital," she snapped to no one in particular and folded her hands primly in her lap.

"That's really what you're thinking about right now?" Belle berated the older woman from her position against the wall opposite the chairs in the hallway outside the triage area.

"Do you propose I talk about the lines developing around your mouth?" Regina suggested, her tone light and teasing.

"Damn it, Regina! Ruby could be dying in there," Belle yelled at the mayor, drawing the attention of a few staff members and other people waiting in the tense room with two former royals. The librarian hugged herself tightly and hiccupped a sob that slipped out without warning.

"I'm aware," Regina reminded her, a coldness previously unfelt slithered over the room.

David stepped between the two women and touched Belle's shoulder. "Hey, she's strong. She'll be okay," he comforted the distraught partner, ducking slightly to meet her downturned eyes. Belle nodded and wiped a tear without dropping her other arm from her waist. "Regina, I'll stay if you want to go home," he offered.

"You'd be more useful if you shot yourself in the foot," Regina snapped and crossed her legs, containing her anger more than protecting herself. "Perhaps you should do your job and look for clues that may reveal Miss Lucas' assailant and inform Granny of the situation." Emma would have already done that, she added silently. She closed her eyes and breathed against the ever-swelling hole that had once been filled by Emma freaking Swan. They'd made a great team, and she never had to instruct her how to conduct an investigation, though she often had because she enjoyed irritating the optimistic blonde.

"Granny," Belle whimpered. "I'd not even thought… David, please," she begged. Big blues eyes melted the man's heart. Belle wasn't going to calm down until Ruby told her with her own voice and mouth that she intended to survive and kick the hell out of the moron who attacked her. He nodded and strode back to the main waiting area.

"Take a breath before you pass out," Regina sniped. Belle sneered at the older woman and turned her back. She knew Regina cared and worried, but she expressed those things so differently from her. Regina wouldn't be caught wringing her hands and prone to random sobs.

"What the hell is happening, Regina? First Emma and now this… something's not right," Belle murmured, more to herself than the mayor. "Ruby tried to tell me that something wasn't right."

"Please, worry yourself into another panic attack. That should help us all," Regina snapped and pushed off the uncomfortable plastic chair. "What exactly do you propose we do? We can't do anything right now but wait."

"God, can't you just take a moment and feel something?" Belle fired back, whirling on the former royal. Somewhere between Ruby's confession and that moment, Belle forgot to be afraid, forgot to be meek and proper. Regina cocked an eyebrow in challenge. Belle threw her hands up and scoffed. "You are the most selfish, backhanded bitch I've ever met in my life. It's like you don't even care that she's laying in there, probably because of something you did. Do you ever consider the consequences of your actions?"

"Feel better?" Regina asked with a smirk that caught Belle off guard.

"You're trying to make me mad at you," she deduced. Though the anger faded quickly, the residual adrenaline rejuvenated the fighting spirit in her soul.

"I've always found anger more useful than helplessness, which is what you're feeling," Regina explained in that same even tone she'd used the entire night. "In this very moment, we can do nothing but wait, and your incessant chattering isn't making that any easier."

"Thank you," the librarian murmured and tugged the coat around her, letting the physical compression comfort her.

"Belle," Whale called a few feet down the hall.

"How is she?" Regina asked and spared Belle another moment to compose herself.

"She's stable. That's the important thing to keep in mind right now. Her knee was dislocated, some fractured ribs. Mild hypothermia. Those might be the worst injuries, otherwise just cuts and bruises, but…" He glanced between the two women leaning forward to catch every single word. "Her eyes… She woke up enough to tell us that her assailant blew some sort of powder in her eyes. She's blind."

"Is it permanent?" Regina demanded the question on the tip of Belle's tongue.

Whale sighed heavily, burdened by the weight of his position. "I honestly don't know. We've flushed her eyes. The compound seems to be organic – herbal, not magical. We're running tests to identify what may have been used, but…" He shrugged. "She's asking for you," he directed to Belle.

The librarian nodded and wiped at her face, still keeping one arm around her waist protectively. "Regina…"

"I'll wait until Granny arrives and inform her of the situation," the mayor offered what support she could. "Do you mind if…" she waved her hand at the ridiculous thought and shook her head.

"You can say hello," Belle finished the thought with a skittish glance at Whale trying not be obvious in his eavesdropping. Finally, a crack appeared in Regina's thick armor. She needed to see Ruby with her own eyes, too.

He nodded and turned on his heel, leading them to the last room in the triage area. "We'll move her to a room upstairs as soon as the paperwork can be processed," he explained and held back a curtain.

Ruby's face tipped upward to greet the visitors. Gauze covered her eyes. A few butterfly stitches held a gash on her cheek. Bruises covered her arms where she'd protected her head. Nothing else showed around the flimsy hospital gown. A mountain elevated her knee beneath the thick white blanket. She inhaled. The scent of her lover and sister inspired a quiver in her chin.

"I can't cry," she croaked around a tight throat. She wanted to, she needed to, but whatever went into her eyes stole even that small comfort. Belle controlled the sounds beating at her chest to be freed and stepped into the room.

"Ruby," she whimpered. The wolf lifted a hand from the bed a few inches, but even that looked painful. Belle snatched it up quickly and tucked one knee beneath her to sit beside her partner. "I'm here, Sweetheart. Regina, too."

"Please tell me you're going to figure out how to kill that bastard," Ruby directed towards her sister. Despite the blindness, she pointed her face in Regina's direction. Her other already highly developed senses compensated for the blindness.

Regina stepped into the room, heels of her boots clicking rhythmically as she approached the bed. Ruby's face followed her. The mayor pressed a hand on the bed above her shoulder and leaned close to the young wolf. "Even if I have to rip this town apart," Regina promised in a voice so low that Belle strained to hear them.

"You can tear the town apart tomorrow. Can you just go home and check on Henry? I know it's not logical, but I'd worry less if you were with him tonight," Ruby pleaded with her older sister. A bruised hand touched the tense forearm above her shoulder.

Regina searched blank white fabric where soulful chocolate eyes used to look up at her with a glimmer of a tear and a pool of yearning. Her jaw transformed into steel to stop the trembling, but her darker eyes blurred with tears that were blinked away immediately. "Of course," she rasped.

Belle nodded. "Go. I'll speak with Granny."

"If you need anything," she added and then disappeared in a swirl of purple smoke.

The kitchen in the mansion materialized around her. Robin nursed a cup of coffee at the island with his cheek propped on a fist. A glimmer of recognition glazed his sleepy eyes a moment before he lifted his head. "How's Ruby?"

"Awake and talking," she answered without any real conviction. Hands flexed into fists, released, flexed again. She needed to hurt something. "I need to check on Henry."

"He's fine. I just looked in on him and Roland," Robin assured her and received a death glare for the kindness.

"I need to check on my son," she snapped and stomped out of the kitchen.

He followed her upstairs but kept a distance while she leaned against the doorframe of the teenager's door. He tucked his hands in his back pockets and studied the woman. She'd changed, not suddenly but close enough. She carried tension that had previously melted away since their return from The Enchanted Forest. A heaviness compacted her form into a tightly coiled mechanism ready to explode and blow bits of shattered wood and cogs onto Storybrooke. Her chest rose and fell with a heavy sigh a moment before she closed the door again.

He said nothing when she looked at him. He said nothing when she reached behind him and took his hand. He said nothing when she tugged his arm and guided him to her bedroom instead of insisting he stay in the guest room down the hall. He said nothing when she kissed him and buried fingers in his thick hair. He said nothing when she dropped her coat to the floor and unbuttoned her shirt. He said nothing when she raised his over his head. He said nothing when her eyes drifted away from the moment. He said nothing when she closed them beneath him and hid her face in his shoulder. He said nothing when she rolled her bare back towards him and pulled the covers over her shoulder. He said nothing and forced himself into a restless sleep.

She woke to an empty bed and an ache between her legs that reminded her that the previous night happened. With limbs shaking from adrenaline on the precipice of flooding her system, Regina wobbled from the bed and stumbled into the bathroom. Cold water sprayed against the wall. She watched it trickle and cascade as it heated, avoiding the mirror behind her at all costs. The warmth of the water eased weary muscles, but something heavy hung over her heart. She'd wanted it, right? She'd needed to feel him, to feel something. He'd been considerate and gentle and respectful. He'd been Robin in his full non-confrontational glory.

They met again in the kitchen. Regina pulled the robe tighter around her throat and bolted for the coffee pot before he moved from the island. She ignored that spark of tender affection her presence excited in his eyes – felt guilty because she knew he wouldn't have seen the same in hers. He watched her and, again, said nothing. She met his gaze above the mug of scalding liquid against her chin. He loved her, she saw that. Tinkerbell told her that he would be her soulmate. So, why hadn't last night meant more, connected them deeper in their souls? Leaning against the counter, she set the mood for the morning, and Robin allowed it.

"What do you see when you look at me?" She asked out of the blue.

His face contorted in confusion, little lines appearing on his forehead. "What do you mean?"

"When you look at me, what do you see?" She repeated as if changing the order of the words might have made him understand.

"Well, I… I see a beautiful, strong, stubborn," they both grinned, "intelligent woman I'd very much like to see more of." He smiled, pleased with his answer. Regina wanted to be satisfied, too.

"Those are things that I am, don't you see anything that I've been?" She queried with no real reason. A burden sat on her heart, pressing her with each stone placed upon the already giant pile.

"Regina, what's bothering you?" He asked with that same compassionate tone he always used. She hated it. No, she didn't. "I know what you've done in your past. What difference does it make? It's in the past."

"So, gallivanting about the woods stealing from the rich and feeding the poor played no part in creating who you are?" She tossed back at him. She hadn't meant to pick a fight, but he acted like he cared about nothing before the moment they met.

"Of course, but… Where is this coming from?" His confusion added to the unbearable pressure bearing down on her.

A disgusted sigh deflated her chest, and she waved her hand like a net to try and capture the words. "When the curse broke, everyone looked at me like The Evil Queen, and I would have given anything to make them forget again just to make them stop looking at me with such hatred and disgust. Now, everyone seems to have forgotten what I've done. They choose willful ignorance when they look at me because they cannot bear to forgive me. I'm not certain I deserve it, but their anger would remind me why I need to strive for it." Regina explained her thoughts with the little understanding she'd grasped of them.

"Wait, you want people to hate you?" He clarified with an almost amusing amount of confusion in his eyes.

"Of course not, but I…" She shook her head and pushed off the counter. "Forget it."

"Regina, wait. Come on, I'm trying to understand, but I don't," Robin called after her, sincere enough to make her stop and face him again. "Talk to me," he nudged.

"How can anyone really know who I am if they refuse to acknowledge the atrocities I've committed?" She laid it flat. "Doesn't that cheapen the good I do now?"

"I don't know," he responded with honesty, knowing it wasn't what she wanted to hear. "What's this really about, Regina? You've been acting strangely since Emma left. It's alright if you miss her."

"She wanted me to ask her to stay, and I wouldn't," she confessed to the white porcelain.

"Why not?"

"It would have meant admitting that I care for her," she realized. When brown eyes raised to the man patiently waiting for her thoughts to settle, a bright clarity shone where fog previously dulled the spirit within the resilient woman.

He inhaled to speak, but Regina waved a hand, cutting him off. "I need to check on Ruby."


	13. Bring Me to Life

So, I wasn't going to post this until tomorrow to give myself some breathing room, but your supportive reviews yesterday really touched me. This is my gift. That said, I'm not "bothered" by anyone or irritated or upset or anything like that. Don't misunderstand my note as me hating reviews. That's just not true. I simply noticed a pattern emerging that I wanted to nip before it got out of control. Feel free to squee and fangirl/boy and theorize to your heart's content, just know they don't affect the story so complaining will get you nowhere. You're all really wonderful to stick with me for so long (some of you have been reviewing my work since BYAMS, and that's incredible to me), so I don't want you to feel underappreciated because you're not. I'm just a particular sort of SQ author who isn't afraid to do what ve wants.

Now, to the story! Thank you to LucidLucifer for the fantastic assist with this one! And to Pixip for teaching me how to use Spotify. I might actually start those playlists now. Haha.

Also, Blueforu, Sweetheart, I tried to listen to that song you suggested, but I have a brain injury that messes with how I hear lower registers in voices and music. I couldn't understand a word, unfortunately, but if you have any other suggestions, I'm all ears. Just keep in mind that I can only understand female or higher-pitched male voices. The first song in this chapter is about as deep as I can go.

Songs: Once by Brad Caleb Kane AND Break Me by one of my best friends the fabulous Cassidy Dickens (you can find it on Youtube and Itunes now!)

* * *

A sharp, pointed jab dug into Emma's thigh. She grumbled and rolled onto her back, tossing an arm over her eyes. "Go away, Mary Margaret. I don't want to go to work today," she sassed her mother. Several more tiny pokes bruised her leg, and Emma growled as the death glare heated behind her eyes. "What?"

Zelena sat cross-legged at her side, back ramrod straight. The scarf-sling held her arm, which told Emma that she'd hurt it more than she showed the previous night. The witch grinned at the harsh reaction, completely unbothered by Emma's grumpiness. Using her good arm, she scooted an inch closer. The enthusiasm of a puppy sparkled in her expression, and Emma's head turned slightly as she deciphered the meaning of it. "What?" She asked again with much less ire.

"I need your help," Zelena said and shook her thigh again.

"Zelena, I'm awake. Stop that," Emma grumbled and relaxed into the bedroll. "What do you want?"

"Your help?" She answered, genuinely confused. Hadn't she just said that?

"Do you ever sleep?" Emma lamented and covered her eyes again.

"If you would like to remain warm, you will stop protesting and help me," Zelena tried a different tactic that actually obtained Emma's serious attention. She pointed at the wood box without looking, and Emma's eyes followed the length of her arm to the object. "I can't carry wood or swing an ax, and I very sanely do not want to freeze to death."

Emma snorted at the playful jab towards her suicide attempt. "That is a pretty stupid way to go, isn't it?" She rubbed her eyes with a thumb and forefinger. "Give me a minute to wake up. I'm still going through coffee withdrawal. Tell me how you'd do it," she nudged, mostly to buy time to stay in the warm bed for another minute.

"Oh, I don't know." She flicked a thin wrist dismissively, but her eyes grew distant and found a spot on the wall over Emma's head. "Something dramatic. Perhaps spontaneously combusting from consuming too much magic." She smiled and met Emma's eyes again. "That'd be fun and messy." Her nose wrinkled sardonically.

Emma watched the different emotions and thoughts flickering over Zelena's flushed features. She almost looked doofy in that moment. Zelena smiled wider but remained quiet in Emma's appraisal of her. She barely even looked like that woman who terrorized Storybrooke mere months prior. Maybe Zelena needed the solace of isolation to heal as much as she had.

"Let me see your shoulder," Emma said as she sat up. The distinct rattle of the chain around her ankle remained glaringly absent, and The Savior looked at the freed appendage in surprise.

"I brought you a change of clothes. Those smell worse than the latrine bucket at the end of the day," Zelena stated the exaggeration formally, blunt as she was. "Perhaps change after our wood gathering expedition."

"You let me go?" Emma asked, still wrapping her head around the gesture.

"Don't make me regret it," Zelena warned. For the first time that morning, the wary tension the witch carried seized her muscles into tight knots.

Emma scooted to the other side of the bedroll and knelt behind the other woman. Zelena flinched upon the first touch, so they were back to that. The Savior lifted the scarf over her head and slowly lowered it as not to jostle the injured arm. Zelena wrangled the other arm into the long-sleeved shirt and maneuvered it over her head, practically stripping in one swift motion. Emma stared at her ear, trying to figure out exactly where the other woman's thoughts were.

"Why are you trusting me? Nothing would stop me from bashing your head in and escaping now," Emma presented the scenario in a flat tone, not threatening but still neutral enough to be a legitimate urge.

Zelena twisted her neck and caught Emma's eyes over her shoulder. "Because I don't care if I live or die, either," she answered honestly.

Like the unassuming gift of butter offered enough kindness to stick around a little longer, The Savior wanted to give Zelena a reason to live one more day. She'd seen that look before – in the mirror, in the mines when Regina begged her to walk away and let her die. The cost of redemption exhausted every mental energy reserve the former queen stored, and now the same guilt plagued Zelena's soul. She studied the witch's profile – well, maybe not guilt, but the loneliness certainly killed her slowly.

Emma wrapped a hand around her ribs on the opposite side of the wound and dropped her eyes to the knot at her shoulder. No flinch followed the touch. She pulled the greasy fabric to the side without bothering to untie it. A bit of red surrounded the gash, the good kind, and the stitches held strong. Emma moved the bandage back in place, unconsciously slipping the other hand around Zelena's belly. The witch shuddered beneath the touch but said nothing. Her spine remained perfectly straight and rigid, but the tension in the muscles relaxed.

Emma ignored the green neon signs in her brain that blared warning sirens and nuzzled into red hair. The tip of her nose caressed the back of Zelena's ear, and the witch released a ragged breath that stuttered against her chest. Emma grinned at the reaction. Zelena had gone so long without being touched. It made a person insane, mad enough to find comfort in the arms of The Savior. Emma didn't love her, it wasn't anything as fickle as that, but she reflected a hollow ache of loneliness and solitude as deep as the chasm in her own soul. Before she acknowledged the need, Zelena cupped the back of The Savior's neck, fingers buried in tangle blonde locks. The fingers of the other hand slid between the larger ones on her stomach. They responded immediately and curled into an intimate embrace, tucking Zelena's fingertips in a safe, warm cocoon beneath her palm.

"Emma," she breathed as she turned her mouth towards the other woman's face. The use of her name jarred Emma from the moment and sent her sprawling into cold reality. Shoulders and head jerked back without removing her completely from the embrace. Zelena watched the memories dance behind her eyes.

 _"_ _Who do you belong to?"_

 _"_ _You, Regina. I'm yours."_

 _"_ _Please, Emma. I don't want to feel him anymore."_

"We should go before the fire dies," Emma said and stood.

Her stomach ached with guilt, and she pressed a hand to it fruitlessly. She turned her back on Zelena, and whispered, "I'm sorry," into the fire. Thin fingers wrapped around her shoulders, and Emma loved Zelena for trying to comfort something that couldn't be soothed.

"What happened to you, Savior?" She asked. Her breath ghosted over Emma's neck, and the taller woman preemptively shuddered before a heavy sob seized her chest.

"She died," Emma forced out of the tightness in her chest. "She died for me, and I let her go. I let her go for one second, and I can't. I can't. I can't let her sacrifice mean nothing."

Zelena wrapped her left arm around Emma's waist and squeezed her shoulder with the other restricted hand. She pressed a kiss to her spine and held mouth there while Emma worked through the guilt of whatever pierced her heart. The Savior crushed her hand, clinging tightly to the only touch that tethered her to reality.

"I don't know how to let her go," she confessed, leaning forward under the weight of grief. "I don't know how to forget her. I can't let her go."

"You don't have to," Zelena whispered into her ear. Emma heard the need, felt the escape she offered. Zelena didn't want her heart or her love or her loyalty. Zelena wanted solace. Zelena wanted a reason to feel, a reason to live, anything would have filled the void at that point. She wasn't able to offer Emma the light, but she made space at her side in the dark.

The Savior spun slowly. Zelena kept her arm still, gliding heat across her side and back until her hand rested half on her hip and the swell of her ass. Emma's arms hung limply at her sides far from the tears streaking her face. Zelena's chest expanded just beneath her breasts, and the witch gazed up at her, trying to decide what to do. Emma blinked, bringing her body to life. Hands revived, claimed slim hips already moving. Buckskin slid over denim when Emma lifted one of Zelena's thighs. Zelena hooked an ankle around her calf, so Emma grabbed two handfuls of ass and followed the rolling hips grinding into her thigh and hip.

Teeth latched onto the witch's pale neck, pulling little gasps of pleasure and squeaks of pain from the redhead's mouth. Flames spread, and Zelena gave herself to the conflagration. Lips reddened her neck and chest as they parted and Emma moved lower to conquer undiscovered flesh. Desperate fingers tugged at the leather ties keeping the britches on her hips. Emma smirked to find only skin where she expected panties and dropped to her knees with a resounding _thump_. Emma nipped her hip. Eyes turned up as she grazed the skin and left behind a tiny patch of tiny red dots that would bruise later. The heated gaze ended in a moment, and Emma returned to the task of removing her boots and helping her kick out of her pants. She lifted Zelena with steady hands behind her thighs as she stood and set her on the table. Her mouth immediately descended between alabaster thighs.

"Yes," Zelena hissed and leaned back on her elbows. A hand buried in yellow hair, tugging and directing with aggressive but not painful motions. Burnt red curls tickled Emma's cheeks with each tight roll of thin hips. A few flicks of her tongue and the pinch of a nipple sent Zelena over that long-forgotten precipice of oblivion. She took a moment to cover her face, embarrassed by how quickly her body gave into that feeling.

Emma gazed up the ecclesiastically pale and muscled body, appreciating all it offered with its taste upon her lips. The embarrassment passed the second Emma's tongue touched the divot of muscle on her belly. Trailing the tip from belly button to ribs, the blonde slowly climbed her body, recognizing the physical need to slow the pace from their frenetic emotional hunger. Just a moment. She only needed a moment.

Emma kissed her neck, and whispered into her ear, "You know, if you went to town naked no one would be able to see you in the snow. You'd never get caught."

Zelena slapped her shoulder, and Emma returned to worship at the altar of red and white.

The witch pushed on her shoulder and sprang upright, pulling Emma's mouth to hers with a demanding hand at the back of her neck. Teeth clanged, hands grabbed and scratched and pulled. They parted mutually, panting into the other's mouth. Zelena's tongue glided over Emma's and partook of her own flavor with deep hum. The Savior answered with her own, exploring the mouth offered to her while they caught their breaths. Emma caught her eyes, and Zelena felt a cool wind rush up from another cliff – she wanted to go over that edge, too. Shaky fingers snagged the hem of her shirt and ripped it over her head, sending blonde hair cascading over her shoulders and chest. Emerald green fell upon her chest and the marks that bonded them in sisterhood.

Pressing the left palm upon heated flesh just above the right breast, Zelena traced a thin scar with her thumb. Stormy green eyes fluttered, remembering the pain that left such distinctive symbols of suffering.

Zelena lifted her eyes to the ones that had closed under the scrutiny. She waited, and in another moment, The Savior abandoned the memories and returned to her. Eyelids raised slowly and revealed the unrelenting desire within their depths. Emma gave her this, the gift of understanding and solidarity. The Savior's face tightened into painful bliss when a warm, gentle kiss covered the scar. Like a mythical, winged creature, the complicated woman lifted her soul above the anguish crushing it. A hand slipped around the side of her neck, lips leaving tiny wet marks upon the other. Emma ducked her head around red hair and held Zelena's mouth to her neck.

"Emma," a soft accent breathed into her ear, intentionally lancing the festering pustules of self-hatred and agony. Emma inhaled sharply. They both held perfectly still while The Savior allowed the wounds to ooze.

A restricted right hand squeezed her breast. Teeth sank into her neck sharply. Adrenaline surged into her belly, and the tender moment disappeared in a flurry of hands removing clothing and lips healing the abrasions inside her soul. Jeans slid to her thighs as Emma wrapped herself around Zelena's lithe form. Fingertips slid through wetness and two filled her without an ounce of hesitation. Emma loosed a strangled cry, partially in surprise and the rest in pleasure. Heat rippled across her chest and dropped into her belly. A third finger paralyzed Emma, and one powerful thrust ripped a violent, involuntary shudder through tense muscles. The Savior clamped her mouth upon the spot between neck and shoulder. Zelena yelped and flung her head back as the delicious tendrils of pain shot straight to her core.

The force of the bite relaxed one tooth at a time and then fell away completely when Emma's legs betrayed her need to touch the other woman. Zelena slipped off the table and followed her to the floor, wasting no time settling hips between Emma's legs. Their combined heat scorched a moan from The Savior, and she nearly banged foreheads when she reached for Zelena's bare ass. Fingertips dug into hardened muscle that flexed with each thrust against the woman beneath them. Emma's arms went rigid, shoulders raised from the floor, mouth opened in a silent "O." Zelena's hips moved in a tight circle with Emma's knees trapping her sides.

Emma bucked once. Skin slapped hardwood as she came. Fingers buried in golden hair, holding her brains inside where Zelena tried to fuck them out. The sorceress watched the woman beneath her writhe and undulate as she came undone. Emma rubbed her burning face, laughed, and shuddered again and then again. Zelena yipped when lips crashed on hers before she registered Emma's upward momentum. She hit her side on the floor with fingers already moving inside of the tight, quivering heat.

She lost track after that. For a small eternity, a net of pleasure rescued them from the freefall of grief and emptiness. Zelena collapsed on top of Emma by the door on the opposite wall from the fireplace where they'd started. From hips up, Emma rested her sweaty back on the bedroll, the lower half on cold wood. Pleasantly weak muscles melted into the warm body beneath her, strong hands caressed her back and shoulders – held her neck when Zelena lifted her head for a lingering kiss that lasted as long as their need for air. A scorched cheek fell against a damp chest, and the witch slipped her hands beneath spent shoulders in an intimate hug that neither of them wanted to think about just yet.

Emerald eyes fell upon smoldering embers, the only source of light and heat in the small cabin. "The fire went out," Zelena murmured.

Emma laughed, the force of the sound jostling the woman on top of her chest. "I don't care." She rubbed her shoulder blade and pulled away a bloody palm. "You popped your stitches."

Zelena took her turn to laugh because nothing hurt yet. "I don't care," she echoed the sentiment and closed her eyes, savoring the blissful numbness of limb and heart. She knew when they calmed and the cold infiltrated the cabin, they moved and completed the required tasks of mere survival.

But for a moment… for a moment, they chose to live.


	14. Deception

Thank you, my pretties, for the awesome reviews and appreciation of what this story trying to accomplish.

I was going to wait until tomorrow to post this one, but *I* got excited. LOL. I'm mad girlcrushing on Zelena's character right now. It's a problem. Enjoy!

Song: Echo by Jason Walker

* * *

Emma stoked the fire a little higher and laid a couple more wet blocks on the hearth to dry. By the time they'd returned, darkness had already fallen upon the evening and their breaths streamed in the small cabin. Zelena watched her from the bed, shirtless and as still as possible in the moments between shivers. After pulling stitches and then gathering wood, her shoulder screamed for attention. She dealt well with pain, but somehow the release of anger Emma provided weakened the ability to endure it, just enough to leave her vulnerable. The Savior hung the kettle full of fresh snow above the newly tended flames and dumped a bucket full into the pot to start a soup for dinner. Stormy green eyes glanced over at Zelena, and a lopsided grin spread on her lips. Zelena returned it and then dropped her eyes self-consciously to the floor.

"Let me fix your shoulder so you can put some clothes on," Emma said and grabbed the sewing kit. Dipping it to the bottom of the pot, she found some water to wet a fresh rag. She slipped one leg around Zelena and kept the other on the floor. "I'm sorry my hands are cold," she murmured before touching Zelena's side. The witch jerked but acclimated to the temperature quickly.

"Emma," she said softly, timid and unlike Zelena.

"Hm?" The Savior hummed and cleaned dried blood from the wound.

"Who died on the other side? You must have loved her very deeply to mourn her as you do," Zelena asked with respectful hesitance.

"I did. I do," Emma answered but offered nothing else. The witch fell silent for another moment while The Savior worked.

"How long were you there?" She pushed for answers.

Emma sighed and rubbed her forehead with the back of her hand. "A few months."

Zelena nodded. "And you've told no one since you've returned?"

"No, they'd want to know everything that happened, and it's better if they don't. It was pretty bad over there. Regina won the war against Snow White."

Emma threaded the needle and eyed the two loose stitches. Cool fingers touched the bright red flesh, and Emma scanned her memories for something to distract Zelena from the pain. "She kept Belle in a tiny cell in a prison below the hospital for 10 years after everyone started to remember who they were." Zelena hissed when needle penetrated skin. Emma hurried with the story, "I mean, they have enough problems in this timeline, I didn't want to add to it. And I learned some very private things about people in this timeline that aren't mine to know, so I don't want to betray that trust. The people who told me were people I love, but they're not here. It's just too damn complicated to tell them."

She snipped the thread and squeezed Zelena's waist. "All done."

Emma slipped off the bed and set the sewing kit on the table. "Want some tea?" She asked, back to the witch.

"No," Zelena murmured listlessly.

Emma glanced over her shoulder to find the redhead staring at the fire, a thousand miles away from that tiny cabin. With no hesitation, she entered her line of sight and waited for the sorceress to look up at her before nudging her knees apart and stepping between them. Emerald eyes refocused, and Zelena touched her hips.

"You okay?" Emma asked.

"Tired," Zelena croaked around the block in her throat.

"So, sleep," Emma chirped like it made perfect sense. To The Savior, it probably had. Before she protested, the blonde slipped into the bed behind her and tugged her left arm until she laid down facing her. "Come on, it's freezing in here. Just lay down."

Emma tucked red hair behind her ear, squeezed her bicep. Zelena studied her features but said nothing as stormy green eyes slowly disappeared beneath drooping eyelids. Emma exhausted herself physically and emotionally as much as she had that day. The Savior readjusted her cheek against the pillow.

"You can reattach the shackle if it will help you calm down," she grumbled, feeling Zelena's scrutinizing gaze upon her face.

"That's not necessary," she whispered, afraid to speak loudly in such close quarters.

Emma opened her eyes, blinked once. "Thank you." Unsure fingers pushed blonde hair from the woman's cheek, tips lingering on flushed skin. Emma hummed and closed her eyes

Again, The Savior lost the battle with sleep. Zelena watched and waited, and when the other woman gave herself completely to deep slumber, she slipped out of the bed. Emma never twitched while she dressed and slipped into the cold. She meandered, not exactly thrilled about the trip into town after the exhausting and emotional day, but duty called. When the path brought her to the edge of the park, she slipped her arm out of the scarf-sling and looped it over her head, readjusting it to hide the knot at her throat. The wound stretched and pulled with each step, but by the time she crept behind the shops along the main stretch of street, fear and adrenaline masked the uncomfortable twinge. All of the windows had gone dark hours ago along with the sky, and the lower temperatures kept away the night travels, not that there had been that much in the summer months. Her sister had created a rather boring little existence here.

Zelena checked a familiar back door, found it unlocked, and slipped in silently. Leaning against the solid wood, she caught her breath and released the shaking adrenaline of possibly being caught. She hated coming to town unnecessarily. A single desk lamp illuminated the small space, glimmering on bits of mirror and glowing on brass and silver trinkets.

"You're late," the man behind the desk snapped, turning his tone up at the end that made it sound like a question more than a statement.

"The Savior is difficult," Zelena answered without moving from the door.

"How is dear Emma?" Gold asked, more interested in the watch he fiddled with than the broken woman in her bed.

"Utterly devastated but I believe she is starting to trust me," she carefully informed him of the situation. "What did you do to her in the other timeline?" A muscle in her neck jumped when he raised his eyes with catlike precision in the darkness.

"Nothing, dearie. She made her own destiny." He stood and rounded the desk. The movement shocked Zelena's heart into a frantic pounding at her throat – she feared he heard it across the room. He maintained his distance and lifted one hip to the corner of the desk.

"When Emma returned to this Storybrooke, what happened to the other one? How did you manage to create it?"

"Easy. I used your portal to go back and spare the only person who could ever really control Regina. I just didn't know Emma Swan used it first until she showed up 30 years after her birth. See, I made the mistake the first time of allowing Regina control of the curse, and Emma came along," he twiddled his fingers in the air, "and changed The Queen's heart. So, I arranged her demise before she ever reached Storybrooke."

"Who could be powerful enough to control Regina?"

Rumpelstiltskin smirked. "Your mother, of course." Zelena's heart jolted again.

"What happened to the other timeline?" She asked, proud that her voice held steady.

Gold sighed, bored and irritated with the conversation and returned to the seat behind the desk. "It's gone. The combination of your portal and The Dark Curse brought Emma right back to the moment she went in… before I went back in time."

"They're all dead?"

"Not dead, just gone," he clarified and picked up a pair of tweezers. "Like they never existed." He fiddled with the pocket watch again. "Has she told you anything else?"

Zelena shook her head. "Not really. She spoke of Belle this evening and her time spent in the prison below the hospital."

"Ah, yes, Dear Belle," he sneered and lowered the tweezers before he misplaced a cog in his anger. He looked at her again, eyes glowing yellow dim glow of the lamplight. "Does she still believe you have magic?"

Zelena nodded slowly. "She thinks I'm not using it because Regina will feel something that powerful if I do." She swallowed and pushed off the door. "If you returned my pendant, she would trust me faster because then I could properly keep her contained without shackles. The Savior is the restless type, she needs to go outside."

He stared hard at her for a long moment. Her pulse pounded faster with each scrutinizing second, but Zelena held her ground. Any sort of movement would have been an admission of guilt. She'd gone off script, and he'd have killed her if he found out. "How did she react to the news of Miss Lucas' attack?"

"She wanted to go back to town," Zelena lied. Her voice quivered, and he cocked an eyebrow. She cleared her throat and covered a fake cough. "I managed to convince her that without the shackle containing her magic, she may hurt someone in such an emotionally volatile situation. She's quite vulnerable at the moment. Poor thing."

He nodded once and picked up the tweezers. "And you're making sure she could never love Regina in this world?"

"Regina?" Zelena blurted before she caught her tongue.

"Yes, dearie, Emma Swan is your sister's True Love. Not even Cora could have anticipated that eventual outcome. She seems distracted enough by the woodland creature seeking her affection, but you must make sure you destroy all hope of rekindling that flame in this world," Rumpel instructed her.

"Why not just kill The Savior?" She asked. Dread churned her gut, and she lowered her eyes to the floor while her tinkered quietly.

"Because I may need her to cast The Dark Curse again. I'm afraid I've run out of people I love." He met her gaze pointedly, twisting the knife of his betrayal and abandonment. "It will only be a matter of time before someone in Storybrooke gives birth to open your portal again, be patient. Once we're there, we'll kill The Savior, I'll return your magic, enslave Regina for giggles, and we'll rule Storybrooke together."

Zelena gnawed her lower lip and imagined a world in which she stood at Rumpelstiltskin's side, as his partner and queen. "I am not going to be able to keep The Savior contained for a year," she argued.

"Then we'll start killing people she loves until she settles down," he threatened in a high-pitched voice he always used when he thought he was the smartest person in the room. "As it stands, she'll figure out that we're recreating her world soon enough. She must have a reason to go back to the other timeline."

"You didn't have to blind the wolf," Zelena murmured, not confident enough to challenge him outright.

"That was just for fun," he giggled without looking up. "Better get back, dearie."

She nodded and slipped out the door, already running before it closed. Frozen air nipped at her lungs. Each pump of her arm pulled at fresh stitches. When she reached the edge of the forest, the witch slammed her back into a tree and caught her breath. Bowing her head, she breathed warm air into the scarf to ease the burning cold in her throat. When the world stopped closing in on her fragile emotions, she recreated the sling and pushed off the tree. Faint moonlight glistened on the white crystals blanketing the world. Zelena allowed it to soothe the fading adrenaline while digesting the new knowledge.

Regina gave her life to spare Emma's, which meant that in this timeline, the same would have happened. Regina already loved Emma, just refused to concede to that fact. A tiny thrill tingled in her fingertips – she'd touched Emma first. Finally, someone chose her over Regina. Not really, though, because Emma had already given herself to Regina in the other timeline. Where had she been? Had she existed in this other world? Had Rumpel erased her existence? Had he arranged her assassination before her powers grew too strong to control?

She slipped into the dim cabin and shed the buckskin jacket to better absorb the heat of the fire. Emma shifted on the bed and blinked up at her, sleep still blurring her vision. "You okay?" She asked and blinked in a valiant effort to remain awake.

"Just stoking the fire before I lay down," she answered without glancing away from the flickering flame.

"It's still freezing in here. Why don't you just sleep in the bed with me tonight?"

Zelena sighed, torn and confused. She tossed a bigger block onto the flame. Water droplets sizzled. White foam bubbled from each end as the heat forced all the moisture from the wood. Rumpel did that to people, she thought, squeezed everything from them until they burnt up and turned to ash.

"Zelena?"

The witch closed her eyes in silent acquiescence without facing The Savior. With a deep breath, she steadied her nerves and slid beneath the blanket Emma lifted. She turned her back from the other woman, ignoring the protesting stitches she laid on. The Savior curled against her back and threw an arm over her ribs. Emma's gentle fingers gripped her forearm bent against her belly before brushing her thumb in long, soothing strokes that faded in zest as she drifted closer to sleep.

"This okay?" Emma checked, her mouth so close that it moved red hair.

Zelena nodded but remained silently still and wide awake. When Emma's arm fell limp, her trembling hand covered it, surrounding herself in a protective embrace. No, she answered Emma's frequently asked question, she never slept. She stared at the door, like most nights, and waited for morning. Clarity always came with morning. Emma nuzzled against the back of her neck, probably seeking the warmth of her body even in sleep. Zelena locked her jaws and closed her heart. Emma Swan would not prevent her from reclaiming her magic.


	15. It Looks Like This

Here ye be, lovelies! Thank you for the reviews and new follows! Welcome aboard!

Also, no I will not put up warnings for wickedswan stuff. I think warnings ruin stories. I barely put them up for trauma triggers, so I will not do so for mutually consensual sex. I would say skip through it, but then you're going to miss the character growth and other things I use sex scenes for. Soooo, don't really know what to tell you.

Song: Running for You by Kip Moore, Fix You cover by Mysha Didi

* * *

Regina tugged at the slim jeans in her arms. Ruby allowed two days of recovery in the hospital and then demanded to go home, and Belle left her to dress the wolf while she hurried the discharge papers along at the nurse's station. She stared into the dimness of the room but hesitated to breach the threshold.

"Regina, stop lurking. You're making me nervous," Ruby called to her.

Regina stepped into the room. The young wolf looked much better now that she'd healed the superficial wounds using magic. Unfortunately, her eyes, knee, and ribs remained on a slow track. Emma might have instinctively been able to sense and visualize the wounds, but Ruby seemed happy with the tiny amount of reprieve she been given.

"Miss French brought a change of clothes," Regina explained before setting the items on the bed by her leg. She retreated to the door and closed it.

Ruby felt for the pile and swung her legs over the side of the bed. Thin fingers skimmed the shirt, searching for the front. The jeans slid onto the floor, and Ruby dropped the shirt to her lap with a huff. Her face turned up to Regina, but her pride kept her from asking for help. Regina set her jaw and stepped between her sister's knees. The wolf wordlessly surrendered the shirt and allowed Regina to untie the flimsy hospital gown that looked more like a giant sack on her.

"I'd feel more comfortable if you stayed at the mansion until you've healed more and grown accustomed to…" She glanced at the white gauze soaked through with dark yellow puss, "… your condition," she finished.

"If you need me to save you from Robin Hood, you could just ask, ya know," Ruby joked because otherwise she might actually have thought about her life as a blind wolf.

"Excuse me?" Regina snapped.

"I'm not deaf," Ruby answered with a shrugged.

Regina bunched the shirt and pushed it over her head without warning. Ruby grinned up at her and flailed her way into the arm holes. The t-shirt draped her body loosely, and she made no comment about the lack of bra, not that Ruby needed it. Regina found no underwear in the pile and shook her head with a smirk on her lips. More than she needed to know about the young wolf.

"You can talk to me, Regina. I'm not much use for anything else right now," Ruby urged softly.

The mayor knelt in front of her and wrangled jeans over the brace on her knee. The wolf grabbed the hem and stood on the uninjured leg to pull them over her hips and fasten the button. She wavered, and Regina's hands grabbed her hips, steadying her in the only place on her body that hadn't ached the past two days. Ruby touched her shoulders and held her gaze. She knew logically her little sister unable to see her eyes, but Ruby's other senses calculated every silent response.

"I imagined it differently," Regina admitted in a hushed tone, though no one else occupied the room. "I thought once I'd found my soulmate that I'd never possibly imagine life without him."

She pushed on Ruby's hips slightly, and the wolf complied with the silent request and sat down. Leather boots creaked and groaned when Regina knelt in front of her again. A waft of subtle perfume blew upwards into her nostrils. Regina always smelled good. The mayor broke the spell and slipped a sock onto the foot attached to the damaged knee.

"Do you love him?" Ruby asked.

"Of course I love him, but…" She rolled her eyes to Ruby's face pointed blankly towards the door. "When you're with Belle…" The wolf dropped the unseeing gaze, sending a shiver down her spine. "This is ridiculous," Regina muttered and returned to the task of getting the other woman dressed.

"He can be your soulmate without being your True Love," Ruby murmured and touched the crown of black hair bent at her knee.

"Who else would have me?" Regina bit viciously, more so at herself than her sister.

Ruby shrugged. "That's not for me to say, Regina. But, I can say that if it doesn't feel right, then you should end it sooner rather than later. Later is going to be much harder."

She chewed her lower lip, and Regina braced for the next words, knowing every single tell her sister unconsciously showed. "I'll have you if you'll let me." She broke into a silly grin and giggled. "Not in a weird incest way, I mean as a sister. You've barely left my side in two days, so that must be a good sign for me, right?"

Regina straightened her legs and cupped the side of her head over her ear. A careful thumb smoothed gauze where hair once met her touch. "I've already lost one person because I refused to admit that I cared. I'll not lose you, too."

Ruby smiled, face bowing under the weight of those coveted words. "I love you, too."

A familiar tap turned Ruby's eardrum. "Belle's coming. Better pretend to be a heartless bitch." Regina clicked her tongue, but even Ruby saw the smirk tugging at her lips. "She wants to forgive you, ya know. Maybe you should try apologizing."

Regina crossed her arms and glared at the door. Belle ignored her completely and bolted straight for Ruby. Wordlessly, she held out her partner's coat, and Ruby slipped into it. Even blind, they communicated silently. Regina squeezed herself tighter and kept her gaze respectfully towards the door. Would she have trusted Robin enough to lead her were she to be blinded? Ruby never hesitated in taking Belle's shoulder beneath her arm, never once showed fear of the things she couldn't see. Belle stood between her and utter isolation, and Ruby never blinked, figuratively speaking, of course. She never questioned whether or not Belle intended to stay at her side, not once. She'd not even asked how Belle could possibly love her, and the librarian, to her credit, never appeared to even think that. It never occurred to them that this new development would change their relationship.

"We're going to stay with Regina for a few days until my leg gets healed up and I get used to bumping into everything," Ruby stated nonchalantly. Cheeky wolf.

"How thrilled I am to be invited into such grand castle," Belle snarked. "You are more insufferable than a nagging mother-in-law on television. Ruby and I will be fine at the library."

"Yes, please, throw your books at the person who beat a werewolf half to death," Regina fired back. "I'm sure some five-syllable words will catch them off guard."

"You wouldn't dare throw my books," Belle uttered, horrified by the thought.

"I'd happily enchant them all to stand guard outside your door," Regina threatened.

"Oh my fucking god, I'm not staying with either of you. You've been at this for two fucking days now." Ruby jarred them from the shelf of anger and sent them plummeting into harsh reality when she limped to the door without the assistance of either. "I'm staying with Granny because at least I know she won't give me food poisoning by arguing how long to cook the chicken."

"Wait," Belle called after her stepped between Ruby and the door frame just in time for the wolf to bump into her soft body. Metal dug into her back. "You're right. I'm sorry, this isn't about me. I'm sorry."

"Belle, I'm blind," Ruby whispered.

The librarian took her hands and pressed them to her chest. Blue gazed upwards, searching for the dark espresso eyes that vibrated with energy and compassion and love. "I know, Sweetheart, and we'll figure it out together."

Ruby nodded. "When we get to the house, can you try Emma for me?"

Belle's heart melted, and for the first time in two days, she felt slight joy by the fact that her partner wasn't able to see her expression. "Of course," she managed. Ruby chewed her lip viciously. She knew that tone.

"I'll figure out how to live like this, Belle. I won't be a burden," Ruby assured her. Thin shoulders pulled back proudly. She pulled Belle into her and kissed her forehead, letting her lips linger until the devastation of this challenge receded.

"You will never be a burden, Ruby Lucas. Everything you are is a blessing to me," the librarian whispered into her chest so low that Regina strained to catch the words.

Ruby snorted. "Thanks for not letting me run into the door."

"I promise not to interfere with the next one," Belle joked. Ruby chuckled. New hope sparkled in blue eyes, and Regina marveled at it. Just a moment and mutual trust and vulnerability from both women, and like magic, they came together again, stronger than before.

The drive to the Mifflin Street passed in silence. Belle leaned against Ruby's chest in the back seat. Ruby leaned on her shoulders up the walkway. "Step up," Belle murmured at the stoop. Regina opened the door and waited for them to pass. "Five steps," the librarian instructed. Belle situated her on the sofa in the living room.

"Can I help?" Henry asked from the doorway, unsure how to approach the situation.

Belle smiled at the boy. "Of course, would you mind grabbing a few pillows to elevate her knee and an ice pack?"

"Sure!" He chirped and took off.

"At least I'll get to spend time with Henry," Ruby found the silver lining. She groped the air until her hand landed on Belle's thigh covered in black sheer fabric. "I love these leggings," she murmured.

Belle laughed out loud. "You can't see them."

"I know what they feel like, and they sort of…" She pushed her hand beneath Belle's skirt and smirked, "…make that sound when you touch them. They're black, and you probably have on your dark blue, wool skirt and the shirt with the white ruffles that stand up straight around your neck."

Belle smiled down at the outfit she described. "I think you're faking," she teased and pressed her lips to the wolf's. Ruby tugged the leg, and Belle's body came down on her, barely caught by her hands on the back of the couch as she straddled her partner's legs without putting any weight on them. Ruby grinned up at her and sucked a surprised breath when Belle's lips claimed her once more.

"You okay?" Belle jumped back, searching for signs of pain on her face.

"I'm good. It's… I'm… All of my other senses are out of control. I've never heard or smelled everything this clearly, and every touch is… well, a surprise because I can't see it but it's like… I feel it deeper in my skin because everything is so sensitive now. Does that make sense?"

"Yes," Belle whispered with a smile. If Ruby found wonder in her condition, then anything else but that from her would have been selfish and inconsiderate – no matter how much she wanted to scream and curse into the wind on her lover's behalf.

"Robin's coming," Ruby whispered back with a cheeky grin and held onto her hips when Belle tried to pull away from the compromising position. She glanced at the doorway as he entered.

"Oh," he froze. Red crept up his neck and cheeks. He scratched the scruff on his cheek and laughed nervously. "Sorry." The man turned his back and cleared his throat. Ruby chuckled silently, and Belle rolled her eyes, then slapped her shoulder because she couldn't see it.

"I'm sorry, Robin. I believe the pain medication has gone to this one's head," Belle apologized as she detangled from the now cooperative wolf.

She pulled Ruby's phone from a pocket in her coat and sat beside her at the edge of the couch cushion. "I have to go help Granny at the diner. Cassidy fell on the ice and hurt her wrist, so I'm going to help out for a few days," she explained without looking up from the phone.

"She should just shut down for a few days," Ruby grumped and slouched into the plushy sofa.

"You know work distracts her mind," Belle reminded her softly and touched Ruby's cheek. "She needs to keep busy."

"I know," the wolf sighed and tried to relax her mind. She hated being helpless.

"Here," she set the device in Ruby's hand. "It's fully charged, and I've set an alarm for nine when we close so you can have a sense of time tonight while I'm gone. You ready to call Emma?"

Ruby nodded and leaned for kiss. "See you in a few hours," Belle murmured and punched the right button. "It's calling." She left the wolf in the hands of those in the house.

Robin squeezed her shoulder as she passed. "Would you like a ride into town?"

"Please. I didn't want to ask Regina," Belle gushed at the kindness.

"Sure, give me a minute."

Henry grinned up at her around two armfuls of pillows as Robin disappeared into the kitchen. She touched his hair on the way and smiled when he bossed Ruby around for her own good. The phone set on the table, which meant Emma hadn't answered. She never wanted to slap someone more than their savior, except maybe Regina. Robin returned with a smile a moment later, and she stepped into the cold and silently made her way back to town in Regina's car. Who knew she and Regina could ever have called a truce… well, mostly, except for sniping and blatant hatred and at the other's throat constantly… well, they hadn't tried to kill each other in a few months.

"How are you holding up, Belle? When Marion was sick, I don't remember anyone ever asking me that question," he confided and smiled sadly without taking his eyes from the road.

"I'm confused and angry, mostly. I'm waiting for the full reality of the situation to sink in. I need to be strong for her, so she can feel safe breaking down when that happens," Belle explained quietly without looking up from her lap.

"Well, if you need a friend, I'm happy to help any way I can, even if it's just listening," he offered, and tears blurred her eyes. She nodded without looking up and wiped away the moisture before it left her eyes.

"You can let me out at the library. I need to change." He stopped by the curb. "Thanks, Robin" she murmured with a half-hearted grin and stepped into the cold again.

She reached the entrance of the library in front of the circulation desk and simply stood for a moment. Everything looked exactly the same, smelled the same. She closed her eyes and took a step forward, trying to trust herself without seeing, to hear without knowing absolutely the sounds surrounding her. The old radiator behind the desk ticked and hissed. Wood popped and creaked, settling into the frozen earth. Musty paper filled her nostrils. She took another step towards the circulation desk, arms outstretched in anticipation of impact. How far was it? How many steps from the door? She didn't know. She'd never needed to know. Another step. A frustrated huff.

Belle opened her eyes to find her fingers inches from the edge. "Damn it!" She screamed and grabbed a cup of pens, flinging it towards the stacks. They plinked and skittered over the wood, the metal cup clattered and bounced. Hands caught a flushed, wet face and cradled it against gentle gasps and sobs.

"Damn it," she berated herself and wiped furiously at the tears cooling heated cheeks. With a deep breath, she tugged her shirt straight and smoothed her skirt. "Alright."

She a step towards the stairs, but a hand around her mouth jerked her backwards, off-balance. Belle thrashed against the strong arm around her waist. She scratched at the person's face, catching the prickle of a beard and skin. The world spun, she inhaled, and then everything faded to black.


	16. Courage

Huge shout out to Luc for the assist on this one and explaining the science behind it all! *kisses*

Enjoy, my pretties!

Songs: Resident Evil: Apocalypse OST

* * *

Belle heard nothing. No part of her hurt, save a throb in her temples from whatever rendered her unconscious. She blinked gingerly, anticipating the light. Darkness greeted the former princess. A cold cement floor held her body, cold and unmoving against her palms as she sat up and glanced around the darkness. No crack of light informed the location, no sound. Had she been blinded, too? No, Ruby said it burned still two days after the attack. She simply had been left in utter blackness. No restraints held her body, nothing touched her but cold cement and unrelenting obscurity of environment.

"Hello?" She called. Her voice hit a wall a few feet from her. She squinted, but nothing appeared.

Gathering bare feet beneath her, the librarian held out her arms and stepped forward until the tips of her fingers brushed more cold block and mortar. The coolness seeped into her back and shoulders, calming the adrenaline surging into her body. Each deep breath eased the pounding in her head, cleansing the toxins and replenishing oxygen. Every exhale settled the trembling in her hands. With the caution of approaching a wounded animal, she followed the wall in search of a door or window. Fingertips dipped into a corner, and she followed the next wall.

Grooves bumped and glided beneath the pads of her fingers. She paused and felt them again. Something distinctly familiar tickled in the back of her mind – like a thought she'd grasped only moments before but now failed to remember. Four tiny gashes carved into the block with one crossing it. Pressing the other palm to the wall, she felt more. Air moved in and out of her lungs in deep, wet pants. A tiny whimper sank into the cement a few inches from her mouth. Her prison cell beneath the hospital. Regina held her prisoner for 28 years there. Only ragged breaths not quite controlled moved the air around her.

"Hello?" She called again, uncaring if they knew how scared she sounded.

"Hello?" A voice answered directly behind her. She whipped around before recognizing the voice as her own lilted accent.

Belle moved forward again, using the wall as a guide. She knew this space, knew it because this had been her hell for years. This space haunted her dreams. This space appeared in random moments when she should have been surrounded by warmth and musty wood. Reaching the next corner, she turned and followed the wall to the door. Somewhere in the back of her mind, logic told her that whoever brought her there wouldn't have left the door unlocked. Still, she pulled at the knob and pounded the flat metal until her fists ached.

"Let me out of here! Stop this, Rumpel," she demanded, but the hollow squall in her voice commanded very little consideration. "Rumpel, please," she cried and collapsed against the door, letting the cold soothe her face.

"Rumpel, please," the voice behind her repeated.

"Who's there?" She looked behind her slowly, but the darkness ate anything that may have moved. She covered her face with both hands and sucked deep breaths. "No one is there," she whispered to herself.

"I'm here," the voice whispered. It still sounded like her own, but deeper, raspy like she recovered from a cold.

Belle's head jerked up. Tears burned her eyes. "Who are you?" Pointing unseeing eyes towards the ceiling, she swallowed. Her throat tightened and squished in the awkward angle. "Stop talking to yourself, Belle."

Sniffing, she closed her eyes and wiped at the tears on her cheeks. "Calm down," she murmured. "Calm down, you're okay."

"You're okay," the voice teased, condescending and gleeful.

A streak of purple flashed to the right. It must have been a bright light to have been visible behind her eyelids. Only darkness appeared when she opened her eyes again. Another streak whipped through the room near the far corner. Magic. It looked like Regina's dark magic, violet and smoky. Squeezing blue eyes tightly, she bowed her head and breathed.

"Regina did not do this to you," Belle combatted the simmering panic. "She wouldn't. Even if Ruby wasn't her sister, she's changed. She's not The Evil Queen anymore."

"People never change," a familiar voice slithered up her spine. She opened her eyes and met light brown in the darkness. "Not really," The Queen added with a gleeful wrinkle on the bridge of her nose.

"Regina? What are you doing? Stop this," Belle begged. The face moved, but no body seemed to be attached to it. "You're not real," she deduced. "You're not real. I'm hallucinating."

"Are you, dearie?" Rumpel whispered so close she felt his breath upon her cheek. Adrenaline pushed her from the wall. She fumbled for the next one, all the time searching for him in the black room.

"Why are you doing this?" She asked. He might have actually been real. She couldn't tell. His breath felt real.

Scaly hands pierced the black veil and grabbed her arms in a bruising vice. "You left me," he said simply as his face appeared beyond the night. "You made me believe I could change, and then you left me."

"You weren't ever going to change," Belle screamed and shoved him back into the dark folds. "I'm sorry that I hurt you, but you won't ever change. I gave you so many chances, so many… You couldn't give up the power."

Silence and darkness surrounded her once more, and Belle found comfort in it this time. Her chest recoiled rapidly, bouncing breasts beneath the tight shirt. She popped a couple buttons at her throat, welcoming the cool air against heated flesh. "Calm down," she reminded herself.

"Calm down," the voice echoed.

"What do you want?" She screamed and threw herself towards the sound. Nothing but thick, stale air waited for her in the middle of the room. "Where are you?"

She waited. She had no clue how much time passed, no sense of seconds in the disembodied freefall of darkness and silence. _Thump-thud. Thump-thud._ The librarian spun in a circle, scanning the room for the source of the sound. _Thump-thud. Thump-thud. Thump-thud._ The sound grew in rhythm and decibel with each second. To the sound of her own heart, she realized. Her ears somehow heard her heart. "Stop it," she pressed a hand to her chest first and then both ears.

"Stop it!" She wailed into the black veil.

"Belle?" Ruby's sweet voice called to her. It echoed through block and metal, coming from outside the door.

"Ruby," she sobbed and stumbled towards the source of the sound. "Ruby, I'm in here!" Metal collided with her face, crunching cartilage. She grabbed her nose with one hand and pounded on the door with a fist. "Ruby, I'm in here!" The wolf couldn't see her, she needed to hear her. "Ruby!"

"Belle?" The voice called out, closer than before. "Baby, where are you?"

"Here," she shouted and pounded on metal. "I'm in here!"

"Belle, I'm blind. I can't find you," Ruby said with a terrified tremble. "Baby, I can't see you."

Belle shuddered and pressed her forehead into the door. Ruby wasn't outside. Ruby wasn't coming to her rescue. Slowly, she turned to face her partner. The wolf stood in the middle of the room, back to her. Blindly, she stepped one way, then the other, arms outstretched.

"I'm here," Belle said softly. She left her nose to trickle blood over her lips and chin. Tears thinned the heavier liquid when they ran together in warm tributaries over her skin and dropped over a waterfall at the bottom of her face to splash against her chest and shirt.

Ruby faced her slowly, arms still in front of her. Unsure steps tested each piece of ground before she put weight upon them. A hollow sob jerked Belle's chest. She wanted to look away. She wanted to scream, but she just cried quietly as Ruby faced her. Two black gaping holes wept crimson onto the wolf's youthful skin. Black pits swallowed half of her face where kind eyes once expressed so much love, so much life.

She'd fallen in love with Ruby's eyes first – the secret glances that met her gaze across the counter at the diner, the shimmering pools of compassion the first night they'd attempted to make love and Belle asked her to stop, the quiet observations as Belle revealed her skin piece by piece, the yellow flare during wolf's time when passion and rage became one in the same for the normally placid wolf. Ruby's eyes never frightened her because they always showed life beneath the wolf, beneath the woman. Those eyes had always gazed upon the world and felt everything it offered, even the pain and suffering, unlike Rumpel's whose always looked dead and cold from the inside out.

"I'm sorry, Ruby," she whispered. "I'm so sorry this happened to you."

Ruby squeezed her shoulders. "You did this to me," she accused.

"I didn't mean to," Belle hadn't bothered denying it. She blamed herself as much as everyone else around her. "I never meant for you to get hurt."

Harsh hands that had never touched her in anger gripped her biceps in a crushing vice and slammed her back against the door. "That didn't stop it from happening, did it?"

"I'm sorry!" Belle screamed. She grabbed two fistfuls of Ruby's shirt. "I'm sorry!"

The wolf disappeared, and she slumped against the door again, gasping for air. "Ruby?"

"Ruby," her own voice answered. A shock of yellow shimmered to life. Belle squinted at it. It whirled gracefully as her own body glimmered into reality covered in mud and crimson droplets that looked like blood. "Ruby," the Belle in the yellow dress called. She held a sword in one hand and heaved for air. A slight smile tugged at her lips. Another menacing shadow flickered behind the illusion.

"Look out!" Belle warned the doppelganger.

The double's smile faltered. A large hand wrapped around her forehead and pulled it against a solid chest. Robin Hood's normally kind smile pulled into a sneer. "No!" Belle screamed and lunged for the other Belle in the yellow dress as the sharp blade pierced her throat.

"No!" She caught the other woman as she fell. Acid churned her belly when her hand covered the slick wound squirting blood onto her arm and chest. "Hold on. Don't die. Please, don't die," she murmured. Life pumped beneath her palm a few times, and then unresponsive eyes glazed with death in the darkness.

"No," she whispered, barely audible in the silent room. She laid the body onto the cold floor. Hands hovered over it for a moment before she gathered her feet beneath her again. Even as she back away, Belle stared at her own lifeless eyes.

"Why are you doing this!" She shouted towards the ceiling because she had no bearing for the door.

On the other side, Zelena covered her ears again and stared at the end of the hallway towards the only entrance into the abandoned asylum beneath the hospital. No one ever came there anymore. No one wanted to remember who Regina had been, what she'd done. Gold rounded the corner, graceful and suave with his cane and perfectly pressed pants and jacket. He smiled, but no warmth accompanied the gesture.

"How long?" He asked.

"She's been in there nearly two hours," Zelena answered and propped her chin in the crevice between the knees pulled to her chest. Belle screamed again, and she closed her eyes. "What's happening in there?"

Rumpel smirked. "I have no idea. I've cast a sensory deprivation spell on this room. I've heard it does splendidly devious things to one's mind."

"What point does this serve?" Zelena snapped and pushed to her feet in challenge, flinging a pointed finger at the cell door. "She is utterly defenseless in there!"

In a blink, a hand around her throat slammed her into the wall across the room from Belle's self-created perpetual hell. A strangled sound of shock lurched by the strong grip, and the powerless witch froze in fear. He sneered but said nothing, merely breathed inches from her face. Slowly, the beast retracted from his features, and he released her to straighten his jacket and brush away imaginary dirt from the sleeves as though simply touching her soiled him.

"We needed someone to face their fears and exude their courage. There are ways beyond shadow root to make that happen," he explained in his usual condescending tone. He cracked a sinister grin, "And dear Belle's soul is as pure as they come."

He sniffed and set both hands on the cane in front of his hips. "She'll be rescued soon enough. It seems Regina has noticed her absence and willingly made a deal with me for a tracking potion. Seems it would have taken too long to make her own." He grinned wickedly. "She is a fool when love is involved."

"What did she give you?"

The grin grew. "Something that won't require a deal once we arrive where we're going."

"Belle!" Regina frantic voice called from the end of the hallway.

"Time to go," he snickered and disappeared in a swirl of dark gray smoke, leaving Zelena holding the bag.

"Bastard," she swore and sprinted to the other end of the hallway. She turned back the moment she rounded the corner and listened to Regina's boots slap on cement. She cautioned a peep around the block wall to find Regina jiggling the door handle.

Her sister closed her eyes and sucked a deep breath as she raised her hands. Belle's screams echoed on the walls. Regina grunted and pushed back against the dark magic enchanting the room. After a tense moment, she slumped. The lock clicked a second before the door flew open. The mayor took one step forward, and then caught a shoulder in the ribs as Belle charged her. They collided with the opposite wall, and Regina wheezed for air.

"Leave me alone!" The librarian squalled, slinging uncontrolled punches at her savior.

"Belle, stop," Regina managed and caught a fist in the jaw for the effort. "Enough," she growled and flung a hand in the air. Belle froze, and she stepped away from her, dabbing at the split on her lip with a thumb. "You're safe, Bookworm," Regina snapped and touched her arm softly. She controlled the anger in action if not in tone. "You're safe, Miss French," she repeated, ducking to meet the shorter woman's eyes.

Something must have convinced Regina of her safety because she lowered her hand slowly. Belle sank to the floor, legs sprawled at awkward angles, arms barely keeping her bloodied face from the floor. Regina glanced around, and Zelena ducked behind the wall again, needlessly pressing herself flat against cold blocks. Her heart thrummed so loudly, she knew for certain Regina heard it over Belle's unrelenting sobs. The air pressure changed in a pop of magic, and when Zelena looked again, she found herself alone in the asylum again.

With unexplained heaviness on her shoulders, she approached the room with trepidation in each step. Holding the frame, she stepped inside. In the far corner, a book shimmered and rippled with freshly imbued magical properties. Caressing the non-descriptive leather cover, she picked it up, flipped it over, and then again. The pages were filled with neat, elegant cursive. She flipped to a random passage and skimmed the content.

 _"_ _Ruby kissed me today. I never imagined such gentleness within a beast built for destruction and violence. As she leaned forward, this rare creature hesitated and asked permission to kiss me as though my upward turned lips and pounding heart that I know she heard weren't permission enough."_

Zelena snapped the journal closed and tucked it into the buckskin jacket for safe keeping. Belle's power came from her words, the words of her heart – the source of her forgiveness and compassion. Her courage rested in knowledge. With a heavy sigh, she ignored the blood droplets throughout the room and bolted for the forest as quickly as adrenaline-laden legs moved.

So it began.


	17. Wonder

Here ye be! Contain your excitement. :P

Songs: Wonder by Megan McCauley and Kind and Generous by Natalie Merchant

* * *

Zelena slipped an arm behind her head and gazed down her naked body at The Savior lazily dropping kisses along her hip. Emma traced a thin stretch mark above red curls and glanced to the emerald eyes watching her. She wanted to ask about it but remained silent and pressed a kiss there instead. Zelena's fingers pushed into golden locks and held the gentle lips against the mark, combatting the memories that threatened her sanity. Emma waited patiently for the crashing waves to calm before crawling up her body and laying on her side, head propped on her arm. The witch had returned in a flurry and frantically lapped up any comfort Emma offered, which led them back to this place. It felt strange to be naked and pressed against the wicked witch.

And yet, it comforted her in a way. Zelena's wild energy surrounded her, like The Queen's had in the other timeline. They used each other to their own gains, neither of them pretended their physical needs spawned from love. An emotional connection, sure, but filling a chasm of loneliness wasn't anything more than pawing at the frozen earth with bare hands and expecting a hole to appear when a person tried to find love in it.

"Tell me something," Zelena said, quite unexpectedly.

"Uh, tell you what?" Emma blurted, unsure what she wanted.

"Anything," came the dreamy, distracted response. She rolled her head and met Emma's eyes. Her free arm wiggled from between them and wrapped around Emma's shoulders. Fingers detangled wild blonde hair, scratched her scalp.

"Uhh, fish kind of freak me out," Emma wrinkled her nose and laughed at herself.

Zelena grinned, something akin to amusement twinkling in her striking green eyes. "It's the eyes. They don't blink."

"Exactly! It's weird," Emma laughed again. "Your turn."

Zelena sucked on her lower lip and searched the ceiling, eyes flickering back and forth like it held the answer she wanted on the sagging planks and beams. "In Oz, there was a berry called coosaberry. It was sweet and no matter how long it sat by the fire, the center always felt cool on my tongue. I would happily open a portal to pick a bushel." She rolled her head on her arm to find Emma's smiling eyes again.

"You're not what I expected," The Savior blurted.

"I should imagine not," she agreed.

"You weren't in the other timeline. I confronted Cora about you, but she didn't really seem to know what I was talking about," Emma confided before she thought too much about the pain Cora's name inflicted upon the other woman.

"Cora was there?" Zelena asked carefully, but Emma watched the dramatic shift on her features.

"Yeah." Emma breathed and observed. Zelena asked nothing else. "Rumpelstiltskin controlled her heart. He completely destroyed Regina. Cora was relieved to die to be free from him. I don't know how long he held her heart, but I can't imagine the hell she went through. It's weird to feel sympathy for her."

"Like me?" Zelena asked and held her gaze steadily upon Emma's.

The Savior nodded, ashamed that she'd failed to think of the woman next to her as a person until a few days prior. "Like you."

Zelena massaged her scalp. Emma lowered her head to the other woman's chest and settled against her. The fire crackled and popped, spitting heat into the small space, enough that she felt comfortable while naked and cooling from sex. The storm that raged inside of her had calmed, the grief of losing Regina felt so far away, still there but distant and silent. Even if she rekindled that relationship with the original Regina, it wouldn't be the woman who shared those secrets with her, those moments of pain so intense that it ache in her joints. She raised her head again.

"Why did you do it, Zelena? It couldn't just be about jealousy towards Regina," Emma asked, emboldened by their openness.

The witch pulled a deep breath through her nostrils and returned her stare to the ceiling. "I thought I might change the course of my life."

"For what? You don't need to go back in time to do that. You just need to change." Emma touched her ribs, squeezed reverently. "My parents left me, too," she added. "I don't know if you knew that or not."

"Not specifics, but I gleaned enough from eavesdropping in the diner," she admitted without conceding the staring contest with the ceiling.

"When Regina cast The Dark Curse, they put me in a magical tree that sent me to this world. I grew up alone in the foster system. I was found on the side of the road, like your parents found you in the woods. I was pissed at Regina for the longest time for casting that stupid curse, but she didn't make the decision to abandon me, my parents did." Emma shrugged. "They didn't even know if I'd survive the trip, but they expected me to save them, to save everyone."

Zelena scratched the back of her head, massaging her scalp at the base of her neck. "It's too much for one person to bear." Emma nodded, shaking blonde hair into her face. Zelena tucked it behind her ear.

"My father – the man who raised me – drank," she started haltingly. "We lived in the woods isolated from everything. He controlled me through fear because he feared my emerging powers. He used to…" She tugged absently at blonde hair as green eyes grew distant and unseeing of the ceiling. "These rages gripped him, as though something possessed him."

"The scars on your back," Emma murmured, and Zelena's eyes refocused a moment before meeting hers.

"That's what Rumpel did to her, wasn't it? Regina? Abused her to control her magic because I fell in love with him. I couldn't have cast The Dark Curse because I loved him most," the sorceress put everything together. That's what he had begun to do now. He threatened everyone close to Regina. He'd ordered her to detain Regina's True Love when Emma wouldn't leave Storybrooke, even though her sister knew nothing of their connection in this world.

"You got the better end of the deal," Emma confirmed without betraying The Queen's confidence.

Before Zelena responded, Emma sprang upright, grabbing her ribs and hip. She laughed when the sporadic woman rolled her onto her belly, and then bit back tears when tender lips touched the scars on her back, covering every single one with soft, lingering kisses. She pushed red hair to the side and followed the elegant curve of her neck and shoulder. She kissed lightly around the stitches and the fresh wound still healing. She kissed the old ones that left gaping holes inside of her that could never have healed. The other woman cried silently into the pillow and soaked up the love The Savior offered. Zelena reached behind her with the left hand and held Emma's mouth to the skin atop her shoulder.

"You have to go, Emma," she whispered.

"What? Why?" The Savior demanded in a confused, wounded voice. She sat up when Zelena rolled beneath her.

The witch rubbed hardened thighs and gazed up at her, not bothering to catch the trickle of moisture bleeding from the corner of the right eye. "You're needed elsewhere," she said mysteriously.

"Zelena," Emma protested.

"Regina died for you, didn't she?" She already knew that, but she wanted Emma to say it. "Regina is the woman you love?"

"What does that have to do with anything?"

Zelena sat up, cupped Emma's face in both hands, and pressed a desperate, emotional kiss to her lips. "You need to go to her, Emma. Get dressed. I'll take you back to your car."

Zelena shoved her to the side and exited the bed before Emma protested again. The Savior followed her the pile of clothes they'd left near the table. "Zelena, what's wrong?" The witch slipped into her bra and reached for her shirt. "Zelena," Emma grabbed her arms and forced the redhead to meet her eyes. "Talk to me."

"They're gone, Emma. Everyone in that timeline is gone." Rumpel's warning burned an ugly fear in her mind. He needed Emma to go back, she needed Emma to help her. So, she told her the truth. "They never existed because when you came back through the portal, that timeline would have been destroyed because it was never meant to exist. You can never get her back, but you have a second chance to be with the woman you love. Take it." Something in Zelena's voice and eyes stole Emma's voice. She nodded and slowly wrapped fingers around the shirt Zelena pressed to her chest.

"They're gone?" She asked and buttoned her jeans.

"Yes," Zelena assured her. "You couldn't have possibly left them to die because they no longer exist. I know you're grieving for them, but they're all right there." She pointed at the door. "They're only a few miles from you, and they need you."

"You're kind of freaking me out. Did something happen?"

Zelena said nothing and dropped to her knees. She lifted a floorboard and retrieved Emma's cell phone and car keys. The secret compartment housed a couple other items – a brown leather journal, an antique metal baby rattle. Zelena covered it before she saw anything else. Emma shoved the phone and keys into her pockets while Zelena grabbed a pouch of something from the herb shelf and then wordlessly opened the door. Emma followed her into the cold. Snow climbed up her pant legs, burning her claves and ankles. Banks as high as her waist swallowed them. Zelena hadn't used this path since she'd brought Emma to the cabin for fear of someone following the paths. The ridge that followed the mountain offered a better trek anyway. The trip back to the car took nearly 30 minutes, no wonder no one had found the cabin yet. When they reached the car, Zelena grabbed her hand and set the pouch in it, covering both with her own.

"Boil it twice and let it cool," Zelena instructed.

Emma chased after her a few steps when she bolted back towards the cabin. "What's it for?"

Zelena faced her again, breath streaming into moonlight. "You'll know," she said simply.

Emma fingered the green velvet pouch. "I won't tell them about you." She smiled, but it felt sad.

Zelena nodded once and then took off into the darkness again. Emma watched her until red no longer bounced faintly in the night. "What the hell just happened?" She asked the universe and kicked snow from the driver's door. The cold engine strained a few times and then rolled over to her relief. She moved the shifter to neutral and pulled the emergency brake while she dug out the car. She scraped piles of snow from the car with only the blue leather jacket as protection against the quickly dropping temperature. Bare skin burned by the time she slipped behind the wheel covered in snow and soaked. Cupping fist in front of her mouth, she blew hot air against the numb digits until they tingled and ached with feeling. She almost got out and walked several times on the way back to town. The treacherous dirt roads hadn't been plowed, and the bug slipped and skidded down the mountain, ever faithful to protector its caretaker.

"That's my girl," Emma encouraged and patted the dash when they reached the main road that led into Storybrooke. The clock on the radio told her it was nearly midnight, far too late to grab a cup of coffee from Granny's – Far too late to show up announced at Regina's house. What day was it? How long had she been at the cabin?

She blew through town much like the day she'd ended up at the barn. No one walked the streets this late. Wisps of wind whirled around the white and blue road covered in scraped, packed snow. The mayoral mansion rose before her, and finally reality slipped into her mind. Relief of being freed from the not-so-horrible captive situation eclipsed the more important question of what the hell she intended to say to everyone she'd left behind. She shivered in the heatless car for a few minutes and gathered the shreds of courage scattered around her heart.

With a deep breath, she bit the bullet and stalked up the walkway with purpose. She spared exactly one thought to the dirty clothes she'd worn for several days, her disheveled hair, and how she must have smelled. None of that matter in the cabin, Zelena had expected nothing from her, so she'd not bothered with vanity. The bell jangled with the same tune, the porchlight cast the same glow, but something felt different. She felt different. Since returning, seeing Regina filled her with dread so thick and heavy, it turned her blood and muscles to sludge beneath her skin. The trepidation left her alone that night, made space for the excitement that used to thin the restrictions of her body. She knew more grief waited for her, mourning and sleepless nights, but for the first time, The Savior felt like she might have been able to handle that, to heal.

The door opened and sent the thoughts scrambling to the back of her mind. A flustered Regina looked ready to kill the person interrupting her night until caramel eyes fell upon stormy green. One by one, the muscles relaxed until nothing betrayed the emotions brewing in those unique brown eyes.

"Emma," she breathed and wrapped the blonde in hug. Slowly, The Savior touched frigid hands to the wrinkled shirt atop Regina's ribs. The mayor kept her arms tightly around her friend's neck and shoulders for a moment longer, unexpectedly but not unpleasantly.

"Hi," Emma said stupidly when Regina released her.

"Come with me," Regina demanded and grabbed her wrist.

She dragged her to the living room, not even bothering to close the front door. Robin watched the scene unfold as confused as Emma and then disappeared to the front of the foyer to shut out the cold. Regina stopped in the doorway of the living room and glanced at The Savior, gauging her reaction to the horror she found there. Ruby sat on the sofa, with gauze over her eyes, shaking with fear that filled the house to the brim with thick, toxic adrenaline. Belle pressed herself into the far corner of the room and sobbed quietly into the knees pulled to her chest. Ruby inhaled and snapped her unseeing gaze to the door.

"Help her," she begged her friend. "Emma, help her. She won't let any of us touch her."

The Savior stepped into the room, eyes on the trembling librarian. "Belle," she called out softly. The cornered creature never even looked up. Emma knelt a few feet away, just close enough to touch her shoulder. "Belle, it's me. It's Emma."

Finally, puffy blue eyes raised to hers. Dried blood and snot stuck to her lip and nose, stained the partially unbuttoned shirt. "Emma?" She whispered, and the blonde nodded. "Are you real?"

"I'm real," Emma smiled, but it fell short of her eyes. "I'm back." Slowly, she maneuvered her body to sit cross-legged facing her friend, knee touching her hip. "What happened?"

Without answering, Belle flung her arms around The Savior's neck, her torso atop her lap. Fresh tears spilled, and Emma held her tightly until the storm passed. She glanced around the room to the simultaneously relieved and terrified faces watching the interaction. Regina sat at Ruby's side with an arm around her shoulder, whispering inaudibly into her ear. Emma figured that she relayed what happened since Ruby seemed to be blind. Robin crossed his arms over his chest and leaned a shoulder against the door frame, tensed and scared as the women. Regina held the back of Ruby's neck when the wolf lowered a cheek to her older sister's chest, back bent in an elegant arch. Regina met her eyes. She maintained the calmest energy, but within those caramel eyes, something clashed and thundered.

Emma pressed a kiss to the crown of brown hair tickling her chin and readjusted her hold on her friend. She wasn't letting go until Belle felt strong enough to stand on her own, and everyone knew it.

"What the hell did I miss?"


	18. Safe

Kicking it old school for this one. No one wrote a sweeping romance song so thick with sentimentality-laden trigger phrases that you had no choice but to believe in true love quite like the 90's. I blame the 90's for my unrealistic expectations of relationships.

Song: How Did I Fall in Love with You by The Backstreet Boys and (of course something a bit heavier) Safe and Sound by Taylor Swift and The Civil Wars (Thanks Sarah for turning me onto this great duo!)

* * *

Emma stepped out of Regina's shower and buried her face in a big, fluffy dark grey towel. A tiny voice in the back of her mind told her that she should feel a little skeezy for basking in the scent of Regina's shampoo and body wash, but Emma felt so damn relieved to have a shower that she allowed the mild indulgence. The towel soaked up the excess water from her hair and body and engulfed her torso and legs to bruised knees. She remembered nothing of how she'd obtained those and tried not to think about the other marks on her body – a few scratches, a hickey on the right hip and left breast. She sighed heavily and leaned on the sink. Her reflection moved behind foggy condensation, a shadow encapsulated in the glass.

Tucking the towel tighter, Emma turned from the mirror and opened the door. Regina sat on the bed, hands between thighs pressed tightly together. A hand secured the tuck of towel and the other wrapped around her waist while she fidgeted by the door. Regina just sat there, which freaked her out more than anything else. Why wasn't she yelling? Emma took a step onto the carpet, and caramel eyes shifted with the movement, staying fixed on her flushed face.

"I sent Robin to your apartment for clothes," Regina broke the silence. Her tone sounded tense but not necessarily angry.

"Where are my other clothes?" Emma asked.

"I burned them," Regina snapped. Emma gaped like a fish out of water, and she rolled eyes. "They're in the laundry room. You are the only person I know who would leave for 13 days and take nothing with her," Regina broke the silence. Her tone sounded tense but not necessarily angry.

"I wasn't exactly thinking clearly," Emma admitted. Her thoughts shifted to the day she'd last seen Regina, the pain that had wrapped her heart in scratchy burlap.

"I made up the sofa downstairs. I presume you don't mean to leave Miss French unattended," she continued in that same controlled tone.

"I won't," Emma promised, and Regina relaxed a tiny bit. Her shoulders caved forward an inch, and she inhaled a cleansing breath. Emma crossed the room silently and sat on the bed, a good foot between them. "What happened to her?"

Regina crossed her arms, holding the pieces of her frazzled nerves close to her chest. "I don't know. I'm convinced of Gold's involvement, but I have no proof."

"We'll find it," Emma comforted the tense woman with her irritating optimism.

"I made a deal with him," the mayor murmured and squeezed her arms tight, pushing her breasts against the thin silver fabric. 30 years later, he still paralyzed her with fear.

"What? Why?" Emma grabbed her shoulder, urging wide brown eyes to meet hers.

"I promised to concede during the next election and let him take the mayor's office," she confessed. Uncrossing her arms, she sprang from the bed and paced the length of the frame. "I didn't know what else to do. Belle had been missing for hours, and Ruby begged me to find her. Another tracking potion would have taken hours to create." The usually menacing woman looked so vulnerable without the height of the endless supply of ridiculous shoes she paraded. Maybe that's why she wore them, to feel more powerful and grounded in the calculated steps required not to break her neck or ankles.

"Regina," The Savior stepped into her path and caught a shoulder beneath her palm, the other hand holding the towel in place.

Regina slapped it away savagely. "Where the hell have you been?"

"Regina, I needed to go," Emma started. "I needed a damn minute to breathe."

"Who was this woman?" She demanded, something flickering in her eyes that Emma had never seen before, so she had no idea how to react to it.

"She…" The blonde started. Stormy eyes looked into her again. "She…" Green orbs shimmered and glowed with the magic of something earth-shattering that had been ripped from her soul. A solitary droplet leapt over the edge and cut a shiny tributary into a pale cheek.

"She died," Emma said simply. "She died for me."

Regina's face lengthened in shock and then scrunched into confusion. Short breaths moved her chest beneath the wrinkled silver blouse. For the second time, Emma saw something in her eyes that Regina couldn't feel much less identify. But, Emma called to it, coaxed it from the darkness in tattered shreds and covered in dust of an emotion long-forgotten. The Savior's eyes reached into her with soft fingertips and spread a balm on the rage that always simmered at the edges of her heart.

Regina pulled a deep breath to speak, but a soft tap startled the moment out of her grasp. Emma wiped her cheeks while the mayor greeted the visitor. Without speaking, she retrieved the bag from her boyfriend and closed the door. Muscles strained with an unexplained heaviness as she lifted the bag to bed and glanced at the blonde scraping up the shreds of composure.

"I'll check on Belle while you dress." Emma nodded without turning around, and Regina slipped out of the door.

Emma nodded again. She glanced over her shoulder and watched Regina leave the room without making any sound. She pulled on a black tank top without bothering to search for a bra and a pair of baggy gray jogging pants. Thoughts flickered to Zelena, alone in the cozy cabin that had become her home – her prison. She should have checked and redressed her shoulder before she left, not that Zelena had given her much choice in the matter. Of course the witch kept an eye on any major events in the town. Emma rubbed the fluffy towel over her head, glanced around for a hamper. Finding none, she returned to the bathroom and draped it over the silver rod near the shower, knowing damn well she'd have tossed it on the floor in her own apartment.

She stopped by the first guest room on her way to the living room. Ruby raised her head, hyperaware of everything. "How she doing? Still out?" Emma asked and stepped into the room. They'd managed to get an over-the-counter sleep aid into Belle about an hour ago, which mellowed her enough to actually drift off in Ruby's arms. Robin carried her to the bedroom.

"Yeah," Ruby whispered and sat up.

Emma crossed the room quickly before the silly wolf tried to stand. They were all exhausted, but Ruby looked ready to keel over any second. She touched Ruby's shoulder and sat beside her. Long, thin fingers covered her own and lifted them from the narrow shoulder to Ruby's lap.

"I'm glad you're back," the wolf whispered. "Something is happening, Emma. I don't know what it is, but I know it's coming. I can feel it."

"We'll figure it out, okay," Emma promised. She had a few ideas already. "You should get some sleep. I'm not going anywhere, we can talk in the morning." Ruby nodded and accepted the hug Emma offered. "It's gonna be okay," she whispered into her ear.

"I can't even cry," Ruby confided in a wet strangle as though the rest of her body emulated the act of crying without actually producing any tears.

"I'll find a way to fix your eyes, Ruby. I promise." Emma stared over her shoulder at the darkness beyond the window. A fierce surge of determination grew boldness in her heart, and Emma knew that no matter how it came to pass, she would restore her friend's sight.

"Sleep, Rubes. I'll watch over her." Ruby nodded again and laid down beside her sedated partner.

Emma touched her head and tugged the blanket higher around her shoulders like she soothed Henry after a bad dream. Ruby grinned at the tenderness but said nothing else as Emma slipped from the room. She almost asked Ruby to go downstairs with her in case Belle freaked when she woke up in bed with someone, but she probably would have freaked out if she woke up alone, too, so she left it as it was. Ruby would have fought the suggestion every step of the way. Better to pick her battles, for now. Emma glanced around as she descended the grand staircase. The foyer and walls displayed subtle but elegant decorations that this Regina loved but rarely minded. She chose them for showing off if the need arose, she'd never even spoken about them to her. Cora's décor had just been gaudy and awful.

A faint blue glow skittered and danced over the foyer hardwood. Emma peeked around the corner into the living room. Regina sat on the loveseat, arms crossed and feet tucked beneath her, wedged into a corner. Gone were the deep lines of grief from the other timeline, gone were the insecurities and fears that constantly followed the abused woman. Regina fought like hell and clawed her way out of the hole Rumpelstiltskin and Cora dumped her in emotionally and mentally. It took 28 years of solitude, and even that hadn't been enough to heal her completely.

She'd been selfish.

Emma pulled a deep breath and accepted that dirty fact about herself. She'd been selfish because The Queen wasn't difficult. They had created no elaborate and complicated history. Being with her required work, of course, but she knew how to handle it. She'd almost manipulated the other woman's emotions, not in a wicked way like everyone else. That had never been her intention, but she knew how to make The Queen fall in love with her. She had no clue how to make Regina love her. She'd sacrificed Regina's sanity and emotional stability and freewill because it had been easier for her to choose the other timeline.

She decided in that second to make it up to her. If Regina never loved her, then she'd live with that, but returning to that world was not an option any longer.

"Hey," she called softly and stepped into the living room.

The mayor raised her head and focused brown eyes tinted blue in the darkness. Sparks of green and yellow reflected in the exhausted glassy surfaces. A tight grin plucked at her lips but never fully formed. "I can't sleep," she said. "If the television bothers you, I can…"

"It's fine," Emma cut her off and collapsed into the mountain of pillows on the sofa that faced the other woman. Regina rolled her eyes when she glanced up at her. She knew Regina called her a name silently but refrained from speaking it aloud. "Where's Robin? I want to thank him for bringing decent clothes."

"With Roland in the second guest room," Regina answered without looking at her. Something gnawed at the edges of her features half-shadowed in the darkness. She looked... irritated?

"I don't think I can sleep, either," Emma admitted after she settled. "What are we watching?"

"Have you ever seen The Golden Girls?"

Emma chuckled. "Yeah." Setting both hands on her belly, she studied the other woman whose attention had returned to the T.V. Studio laughter echoed after Dorothy's deep, grouchy timber muttered something. Regina grinned and propped her temple on a fist, finally relaxing enough to uncross her arms.

"What is it, Miss Swan?" She snipped without relinquishing her gaze at the bright lights moving through the darkened room.

"Nothing," Emma murmured. "I'm just happy to be back."

"Are you?" Regina asked, direct and serious. She blinked, and when her eyes opened, she held Emma's in a death lock.

"Why wouldn't I be?"

Regina shrugged one shoulder and readjusted her head on the hand holding it, closing up the walls that offered a brief glimpse into her emotional life. "We watched you come apart for weeks. Despite our best efforts to help you, you adamantly refused to let us, and then disappeared for two weeks. You behave as though none of that happened, as though no one in your life deserves to know what caused you such great pain when we're the ones who fixed your mistakes and cared for your son while you drank yourself to death and then abandoned him. Again."

"I went through Zelena's portal," Emma confided almost inaudibly. "The night Hook and I went to make sure it wasn't active, we got sucked into another world. What happened to me didn't just happen overnight, not to me, but it felt like that to you."

Regina's head lifted slowly, all of her vibrating with life that had no outlet yet. Emma closed her eyes. "You can ask me questions, but I reserve the right to not answer them and you can't get mad about that."

"That's impossible. The portal failed," the mayor denied the story out of shock, not from a disbelief in her words.

Emma stood up in one swift surge of inertia and stood in front of her. Regina's forehead scrunched in confusion when Emma lifted her shirt, sending water-darkened blonde hair slapping over her shoulders and back. "I have the scars to prove it," she spat coldly.

"You were tortured?" She sounded horrified, breathless. This woman was not the woman who had hurt her. That woman had been a shadow of this one. Regina's eyes pulled one way, then the other, unable to focus on just one scar. A shaking hand rose, wanting to touch the marks, but hovered a few inches from her belly.

"It's okay," Emma whispered. She nodded when brown eyes jumped up to meet hers.

One finger traced the thin white line above her right hip. Emma's eyes fluttered. She forced slow, calm breaths through clenched teeth. Green streaks flashed behind the tightly closed lids, and Emma opened them to find Regina studying her curiously, palm pressed to her stomach. Emma wanted to hide, only then realizing she stood half naked in Regina's living room with the other woman touching her. What if Robin had walked in? Still, she stared back, letting her breaths come in shorter pants, displaying all of her agony and vulnerability to the only person she wanted to see it.

"Who did this?" Shock more than anger intertwined with the barely spoken question.

"I can't answer that," Emma replied just as quietly.

Regina straightened her spine and nodded. The warm palm stayed on her hip, almost forgotten as Regina pulled them through the frenetically charged moment. "I'm assuming the identity of this woman is off limits?" A muscle in Emma's jaw hardened, changing the contours of her face. She nodded, and Regina licked her lips.

"How long were you there?" Regina started easy.

"A few months."

"Where did you go?"

"Storybrooke. It was a completely different world. You'd won the war, and ruled as a queen, not as a mayor. You said that you thought Rumpelstiltskin was responsible for Ruby's attack and Belle's abduction. I know you're right, and I think it has something to do with trying to recreate that timeline. He was more powerful there than I'd ever seen him here."

A flash of fear ignited in Regina's dark eyes. "How do we stop him?"

"I don't know, but I think we need to return the hearts you still have in your vault. He broke your hold over them and used those people to attack the town," Emma explained.

Regina nodded. "We'll start tomorrow."

"Regina, please don't tell anyone about this. There are too many questions I can't answer, and so many things that I know now that I really shouldn't. I know Ruby's your sister." Regina gasped lightly. "That's why I haven't asked why she's here. I know why. I shouldn't know this stuff, but I do, and I can't betray your trust or hers or Belle's. I know things that I shouldn't, so please don't ask me and please don't tell anyone."

Regina nodded, unable to use her voice beyond the tightness in her throat. She swallowed and bowed her head enough to stare at a scar in its ugly, jagged glory. "Why did you tell me?"

"I'm tired," Emma realized and stepped away from the other woman before she did something stupid like kissed her.

Regina let her go. She watched her pull the shirt over her head inside out and tug the blanket to her shoulders, face buried in the back of the couch. Whatever Emma experienced in that portal wrecked her, and Regina knew that nothing could have made any of it better but time. When Emma's shoulders shook silently, she came to her feet without thinking and sat at the edge of the cushion in the dip of The Savior's back.

She touched the quivering arm and shifted her focus back to the television, prepared to bear the storm as long as Emma required her support. "You're safe here, Emma."


	19. Sacrifice

Here ye be. Thank you for the reviews and new follows. This chapter was rough, leave me some love.

Songs: Stand in the Rain by Superchick And As Long as You're Mine By Wicked OBC

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Zelena took a deep breath in the cold, crisp air. Icy shards cut a passage through sinus cavities and down her throat, warm enough to ease into her lungs. In her hands, she cradled the herbal and magical concoction Gold had given her in case anything ever went wrong. She'd stared at it all night while it sat innocently on the table. She should have used it immediately, but every time she touched the little green pouch, she worried that Emma hadn't gone straight to Regina. The Savior found safety beside her sister, so she waited. She waited until the fire died to glowing embers. She waited while it roared back to life, all the while glancing over her shoulder like that pouch might have gained independent motor functions and wriggled away to a dark corner, never to be found. She waited until dawn broke over the mountains in brilliant streaks of red and orange and purple.

Zelena dug a smooth dip in the snow, creating a little bowl, and filled it with the mixture. She knelt beside it and shielded the lighter from the wind as she added the last ingredient of flame. It sparked, trails of swirling green danced in the gray powder. In a flash, moss green smoke puffed and expanded towards her face. She whispered, "Rumpelstiltskin," and waited.

Energy shifted the breeze. It blew red hair towards her face instead of over her shoulders. He heard the summons and arrived faster than she expected. Swallowing the acid climbing her throat, Zelena stood without facing him. Still, his slimy presence surrounded her, slithered up her spine. She convinced herself of the cold's involvement in the shudder and spun to face her nightmare and salvation.

"What?" Gold snapped.

"The Savior escaped last night," she cut straight to it before adrenaline stole her strength and trembled in her legs and hands.

"What?" He repeated. The anger drained from his handsome features, something much darker reflecting in the emotionless muscles. Dead eyes stared at her. Zelena knew they felt nothing for what they saw, probably never had.

"She must have slipped something into my tea. She picked the lock on the shackle," Zelena lied and prayed he failed to hear the quiver in her tone. It could be attributed to fear of him, right?

Her head snapped with the force delivered with the back of his hand. "I should have known better than to entrust you with Emma Swan's keeping. You were worthless with power and even more so without it." He sniffed and rubbed his knuckles. She breathed through the pain and ignored the tang of iron under her tongue.

"I told you she was restless. Don't blame me because your plan failed, Dark One," she fired back.

The lightning quick fist twisted her body and threw her into the snow bank. A sharp, staccato tempo matching the rhythm of her heartbeat spread outward from her left eye into the temple. Drops of red trickled from her mouth and tested the obstacle course of individual flecks of ice, searching for the easiest route to the frozen ground. She watched, riveted by the merging of watered down crimson and blue ice.

"How much does she know?" Rumpel shook the thin mental foundation she'd found in the warm droplets of red and icy blue.

"Nothing," Zelena breathed into the snow She thinks everyone, including you, assumes I'm dead. If I had magic, I could cloak my cabin. Her family would think she'd gone mad when she returned shouting about the Wicked Witch in woods with no proof." Grabbing two handfuls of snow, she rose to her feet and faced him again. The more her face hurt, the less fear held captive her mouth and thoughts.

"I should kill you," he threatened.

"Then kill me. You'll never find your precious Belle's diary imbued with her courage without me," Zelena called the bluff. She grinned, teeth and lips stained red. "You can't, can you?" She realized with a start. Her voice dropped as her lips bloomed into a bloody smile. "You need me. They destroyed the time spell. You can't open the portal without my help." She laughed, an unhinged cackle of a sound that echoed on the trees and hills. "You need me."

Zelena's face sank in the snow with another print of his knuckles on her cheek. His cane cracked against her back, and the frozen cushion absorbed her scream. Heat more than pain exploded in her ribs, deep in her hip. Sharp fingertips grabbed her injured shoulder, ripping stitches loose as he flipped her back into the snow. Ignoring the pain, she threw up her arms over her face. He grabbed one wrist and forced it to the ground. Emerald eyes clamped shut and she turned her head when he raised his cane above the cold-numbed hand spread against the snow. The cold only stopped the pain for a moment. Another scream tore loose from a raw throat as he lifted her from the snow with a fist in buckskin. The trees answered with one identical to the harrowing agony she'd released, forcing her to absorb the sound of her own pain. Zelena wanted to hug the shattered hand to her chest but dared not move while his face pressed so close to hers.

"If you fail me again," he lifted the hand and prodded the back gently before squeezing. She whimpered, beyond the lucidity to scream anymore. "Remember that I only need your mind intact. Try and shoot your bow with a broken hand."

She couldn't, she knew that much. Without fresh meat, she'd starve to death unless she asked him for help. Emma wouldn't ever be back. She gagged in a cloud of dark gray smoke as he disappeared and sobbed into the snow, letting the natural ice pack soothe the throb around her eye. Couldn't someone simply have killed her instead of exploiting her power or knowledge?

Sustained in anger, strength returned to quivering muscles. She gathered feet and legs beneath bruised hips and back. Blood soaked her back beneath the thick coat. The sun reached for the canopy at the mountain's peak, just before waking time in Storybrooke. The cabin wobbled to and fro. Zelena clutched the shattered hand to her chest and sat back on heels to experience the full effects of early shock on her vision.

"No," she whispered – an irrationally valiant determination joined spoken word with meaning in a fractured mind. "No," she repeated, stronger, louder.

She had no reason to live. "I will not die this way," she vowed to the shimmering cabin door.

The left hip protested when she maneuvered the right foot in front of her, gathering enough strength in a surge of adrenaline to stand on jellied knees. She stumbled to the side, taking three steps before boots caught solid ground in the shifting snow. Self-preservation flung her torso forward, and legs followed. Solid wood collided with face and shoulder. A smear of red coated the wood when she pulled free of the support, no moment to catch a breath. Her body failed her mind. Any moment, darkness engulfed her mind.

The door opened and she fell inside, shoulder thumping on warped floorboards. Rolling to her back, she used her feet to slide over the floor and kick the door shut. It cracked open with a gust of wind. Emerald eyes fluttered and rallied one more time. She lifted her head to glare at the uncooperative cabin and kicked the door again, leaving the heel of a boot propped against the windy mountain swallowing her whole. The ceiling twisted and swirled, and Zelena surrendered to the call of shock and darkness.

A powerful surge against the door woke her in one bodily throb of pain.

"Zelena!" Eyes slit to find Emma Swan through a crack in the door. "What the hell happened?" Emma knelt out of her line of sight.

Something grabbed the tip of her boot and dragged the heel to the side. A puff of cold air chilled the wet blood soaking through clothes. Strong arms manipulated the limp body that no longer felt attached to her consciousness. Without speaking, The Savior lifted her from the cold floor and deposited her battered body on the bed. Emma disappeared a moment before the distinctive scratching of embers being stirred filled the cabin. Some popped and cracked, rejuvenated with fresh oxygen. Emma added some smaller wood and blew on orange coals until flame flickered to life.

"Time," Zelena croaked.

"What?" Emma asked, sitting on the edge of the bed.

"Time?" She repeated.

"Time?" Emma pulled the phone from her back pocket and punched a button. "It's almost seven." She'd been unconscious 12 hours. "I told everyone that I was going to my apartment to take a long bath. I get service up here, so if they text, I'll get it. I can't stay long," Emma babbled and started the process of peeling away clothes to search for injuries.

"You came back," Zelena whined.

Emma stopped and studied the bruised and swollen features barely recognizable beneath the blood and puff. "Zelena, what happened? There's so much blood outside that I thought you'd just brought in a fresh deer."

"Fell," the witch lied. "On the ridge where I got caught in the rockslide."

"Damn it, woman," Emma grouched, covering the fear. "You're freezing." She disappeared again. A larger log crunched smaller ashes. More scratching.

Emma appeared above her head again without her coat, arms free to work. She fussed with ties holding the buckskin coat together. Tucking an arm beneath her back, Emma lifted her from the bed. Zelena cried out once and then whimpered while she peeled away the layers of clothing. Bruises splotched over her back. Fresh blood wept from the wound she'd stitched twice already. A shrill scream rang in her ears when the coat pulled free from discolored left hand. Emma ripped it off quickly. Zelena screamed again. Emma cradled the limp, trembling body upright against her chest.

"I'm sorry," she murmured. "I'm so sorry." It needed to be done.

Gingerly, she lowered the woman against the mattress. "Do you have any herbs that will help with the pain?"

Zelena nodded, eyes closed, until her voice returned. "White and brown. Smells like cinnamon."

Emma leapt from the bed and crossed the small cabin in two steps. The first two white-ish powders were most definitely not mixed with cinnamon. In the third glass jar, she smelled that distinctive spice while the lid came away in her hand. She sat at the edge of the bed again and licked her finger. Using a pinky, she guided the other woman's chin downward.

"How much should I give you?" She asked and let Zelena suck the mixture from her finger. "More?" Zelena nodded, and Emma repeated the process twice.

"No more," Zelena instructed, already much calmer. Emma watched trembling muscles settle as the physical suffering retreated beneath the herb blocking it. While she waited a few minutes for the herb to begin taking full affect, she calmed her racing heart by cataloguing injuries. Both lips had been split on opposite sides. A small cut and bruise beside her left eye. Stitches torn, bruised if not broken ribs. Her hand definitely looked shattered. Bones jutted beneath the surface of black and purple skin, disfigured and ugly.

"Zelena, I know you're afraid, but you need to go to the hospital," Emma declared as quietly as possible while maintaining a commanding tone. "I'll protect you. Trust me, okay? You can trust me. I won't let anything happen to you."

"No," Zelena said simply. Glazed emerald eyes stared up at her. Even in the haze of pain relief, Emma recognized the fight there. She would never have gone quietly.

She rolled her eyes and huffed. Damn stubborn Mills sister would be the damn death of her. "Okay, hold still." Emma held both hands over her busted face, closed her eyes, and took a deep breath. Air moved in a controlled wind through pursed lips.

When lungs required another inhalation, Emma allowed mind to remember. Henry's cheeky grinned flashed first behind her eyes. Magic stirred in her breast as love encased the panic. A familiar tingle tickled her fingertips. Emma licked her lips and checked to make sure a white glow actually emanated from her hands.

"Zelena, I don't know what I'm doing. Want to help me out?"

"What are you doing?" The witch asked, clearly terrified of the magic hovering above her face.

"I'm trying to heal you," Emma explained and spread her hands far enough to see Zelena's eyes. "Help me."

"Visualize the skin coming together from the inside out," she instructed. Emma nodded and shut her eyes tightly. "Have you that in your mind?" Emma nodded again. "Now, touch that image with your magic and let it slide through your fingertips."

Clinging to the goal, Emma pinned the healing image to the forefront and allowed foggier memories to reel behind it. One by one, the faces of those she loved ghosted through the blood and gaping flesh.

Regina's lips brushed hers, and she smiled outwardly, confusing Zelena as she watched the other woman work. Henry clinked hot chocolate mugs with her at the island in the apartment, sloshing scalding liquid over the face of the little penguin on their cups. Ruby's devious chocolate eyes twinkled with mischief while Granny sniped behind her at the diner. She snagged the precious moments that swelled her heart with love and joy and peace. Her baby brother smiled up at her, gurgling around the drool on his chin. Regina jerked a bridge from beneath her. The Queen's hand slid around her arm outside the doors of the orphanage – a sweet, rare, bashful grin flushing her face.

 _"_ _I simply wanted each orphan in Storybrooke to feel wanted and happy, if only for a moment," The Queen's voice murmured in her memories._

 _"_ _You're safe here, Emma."_

She loved them both. And that was okay.

White streams shot forward. Zelena hissed in shock and slight pain while her body rebuilt itself. Emma blinked and breathed, adjusting to the energy flowing into her veins, through every nerve and vessel beneath her skin. Tears burned emerald eyes, but Zelena dared not bat them away while Emma looked at her with such compassion and blissful salvation. The glow moved over her body, reaching out to fractured bones and busted blood vessels. Warmth followed the gentle static lapping at the surface of her skin. It swelled and crashed in Zelena's hardened chest, swelled again. It filled her with life, resurrecting deadened memories and thoughts and feelings from the grave.

Tears dripped onto Emma's chest, mirroring the wet streaks on her friend's mostly healed face. She slumped forward, arms dropping to her lap and Zelena's hip. The witch flexed the broken hand. A twinge of pain jolted up her arm, but everything worked properly, probably needed a couple weeks to recover completely. She grabbed a fistful of Emma's shirt and yanked The Savior on top of her. Her ribs protested slightly against the weight, not quite healed fully. Zelena wrapped her arms around the shaking woman and held her, accepting all of the tears Emma offered and giving her own in return.

"Your magic," Zelena spoke first when the well of emotion dried. Emma's magic left a faint glow in her chest, and she grasped at it, keeping it close for as long as possible. "Where does it come from?"

Emma rolled onto her side and rested her head on her chest. She plucked at the hem of the tan tank top just above her breast. Zelena squeezed slowly expanding ribs, held her shoulder, content to wait for the answer she knew eventually came when Emma felt ready to say it.

"I think it comes from unconditional love," Emma murmured without raising her eyes from their scrutiny of fingers worrying Zelena's top.

Zelena rolled the knowledge in her mind, squeezing it to shake loose a drop of understanding. How could she ever have understood the depth of The Savior's love? She'd never thought a savior could have existed despite the magical prophecies of such a being with magic so strong that none could defeat her. She assumed that power rooted in dark magic, but her defeat at the hands of light magic taught her better.

"And this is what you feel all the time?"

Emma lifted her head and then her eyes. "It doesn't always feel good." She shrugged and clenched her jaw. "But yeah… It's like, once I realize that I care about someone, that's it. There are different types of love – maternal, romantic, platonic – but it's always that strong. It's why I can't let go when I reach the point of loving someone. I'd do anything for them, no matter how many times they hurt me or leave me." She shrugged again. "I can't stop being who I am because they make decisions that hurt me. I'll still love them."

She smiled, displaying pain and fondness simultaneously – The Savior's prison of her own heart. "It saved The Queen in the other timeline. She just needed someone to stick by her while she worked through the mindfuck of Cora and Rumpelstiltskin. I loved her, and she died for me. It's the first time anyone has ever been willing to sacrifice anything for me at their own risk. It's like… even if she wasn't in love with me, I know what she felt. I know how powerful that emotion is, and I don't know how to cope with the fact that someone felt something like that for me. It doesn't seem possible."

Emma wiped her nose with the back of her hand and sniffed.

Zelena said nothing else. She'd known the pain awaiting her when Gold discovered she'd been freed.

She tugged the back of Emma's neck, and The Savior offered no resistance when their lips met. Emma ignored the taste of blood. She thought it should have bothered her, but it hadn't. Zelena shifted slowly, careful not to knock her onto the floor, and laid the broken woman on her back. The witch settled between her legs and pushed the shirt to her ribs. Tender kisses followed the length of ab muscles up one side and down the other. Zelena traced scars with gentle fingertips. A certain urgency filled her touch, but the caressed remained slow and soft and controlled.

"What are you doing?" Emma asked, confused by the conflicting needs within the other woman.

"Shh," Zelena shushed against her belly. "I want to take care of you." She tipped her eyes without moving her head. "I'm not sure anyone ever has." The words made a statement, but emerald eyes asked the same question.

Emma shook her head, tears already stinging the back of her throat. Zelena shimmied up her body and kissed the first droplet that escaped over the wall Emma built. She touched Emma's hot cheek and caught another on her thumb. Emma clutched at the tank top on her ribs, trying desperately to find composure while simultaneously seeking the strength to accept what Zelena offered.

"Be as you are, Savior. There is no one here to please," she whispered. Before she finished speaking, Emma collapsed into her chest, deep sobs jerking her own.

Zelena held her lips to the golden crown tickling her chin. "This wound will heal," she comforted without completely lifting her mouth. Closing her eyes against the burn, she shook loose a solitary tear that eagerly sank into blonde hair. "This wound has to heal," she amended, and they both knew she spoke as much to herself as the woman falling apart in her arms.


	20. This Path of Ours

Hello, my pretties! Apologies for being so lazy this week. Been helping out with my grandpa in the hospital. Stubborn man went and got himself sepsis from an infect wound. He's good now, gets to go home, and I hopefully am back. And also apologies for any undue bitchiness I may have presented.

That said, I think this chapter will make up for it. You can breathe now, things can move forward. Oh, and Luc is flabbergasted by the lack of reviews though we are carefully constructing this plot so meticulously. So, please so her some love. I'm just happy to know so many folks are following along. ;) Thanks, Lucid!

To the story!

Songs: I'm Not That Girl by Wicked OBC (seem to be on a musical kick lately) and Love Me Like You Do by Ellie Goulding.

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Regina propped her temple against a fist and sighed into the lukewarm cup of coffee in the curve of her palm. She plucked at the white leaf design on the black mug and sighed. Belle screamed upstairs, and she closed her eyes. She didn't care. Even blind, Ruby knew she needed help, so Regina held her breath and waited. Henry and Roland left for school nearly 30 minutes ago, which meant her main priority for the day ended until the venture of returning hearts commenced. She had already dressed in a black three-piece suit with white lines outlining the vest and boots with a stylish heel that gave her some height but not enough to seem menacing. The entire outfit symbolized authority but appeared less threatening than the sensual dresses that simultaneously turned people on and terrified them. Bitch dresses, Ruby called them.

"Regina," Robin called from the doorway, ashen and sickly.

"What?" She grumbled without raising her head.

"Belle's awake," he said sheepishly and tucked his hands into his back pockets. It bugged her. It shouldn't have bothered her, but something about the nervous gesture felt wrong on him.

"Don't stand like that," she growled and raised the mug to her mouth.

He lowered hands to his sides, confused but compliant in Regina's frustration. "Did you hear me?"

Regina rolled her eyes and spun on the stool. "I heard both of you," she clarified and refilled the cup. One palm pressed the cool marble counter and the other raised scalding dark liquid to her mouth. Through the frost at the edges of the window, she watched a squirrel frolic in the snow, diving and digging for goodies left behind. Moronic creature. How had they survived centuries burying food beneath the snow and earth?

"Regina, what's wrong?" Robin asked, closer now.

"Nothing," she snapped and moved to the sliding door that opened onto the patio and leaned against the frame. Cold seeped through the glass and tickled her cheek. Hot breath steamed a smeared circle of condensation. It receded when she inhaled, grew again. One arm snaked around her ribs protectively and the other elbow propped against it, holding the coffee next to her mouth. A few birds scratched at the snow. A second squirrel scurried through the flock of winged creatures, startling them into flight. They landed in a different spot a moment later only to suffer the exact same fate. The circular nature of their fate soothed her, the synchronicity of the flock's movement. Yet, it irritated her. If they simply flew to a different location and searched for food there, they might have been happier and less fearful for their safety. She doubted the squirrels' intentions to hurt them. But… weren't they tired of the struggle to co-exist?

"Talk to me," he urged in gentle understanding that had driven her insane the past two weeks.

"Why don't you ever get mad when I treat you poorly?" She bludgeoned him with the question and waited impatiently as he worked through the shock of it.

He shoved calloused hands into his back pockets, winced at her dark glare, and crossed them over his chest. "I guess, I always look for the reason instead of taking it personally. I know that I haven't done anything to upset you, and you wouldn't lash out if you didn't feel vulnerable. I just thought reacting with anger would make it harder for you to open up to me."

"I'm not vulnerable," she sniped. "I'm pissed that I have to babysit Princess Peach and her disabled Pomeranian instead of figuring out who attacked them. What good is being good if I can't do anything?" Regina gestured wildly, jostling steaming coffee onto her hand. "Damn it," she hissed and stomped back to the island.

"Here," Robin wet a towel and reached for the reddened hand.

Regina jerked away and slapped her hands on his chest, pushing him back a few steps. "I am not helpless! Damn you for treating me as such."

"Regina, I didn't… I don't," Robin floundered. Regina heaved and glared, bright anger and fresh rage glowing in her dark eyes. "I don't think you're helpless. I just wanted to help."

"Well, don't," she snapped and grabbed a dry towel from the stove door.

"Why are you acting this way? Did I hurt you? When we had sex, did you not want to? Because that's when all of this started," he finally opened the door to the very odd night they'd shared.

A thump by the door commanded both gazes. "Shit," Ruby cursed and patted the doorframe as she turned back to the kitchen. "I, uh, was trying to leave before I interrupted you. Belle is calm now, but she won't come downstairs. Tea…" she blurted. "She wants tea."

"I'll make it," Robin murmured and squeezed around Regina.

The mayor rounded the far side of the island to avoid walking past him again and took Ruby's elbow. "Living room or bedroom?"

"Uhh, do you need me to disappear while you fight? Or ya know, go chew on a Pomeranian-sized milk bone?" She asked. Regina glanced up to find a half-cheeky, half-sheepish grin on her sister's lips. She stopped in the middle of the foyer, and Ruby reached out, swinging her arm in crescent around her. "Where did you put me?"

Regina chuckled. "You're in the foyer." Ruby nibbled her lip and waited. "Stop chewing your lip," Regina snipped and tapped front teeth with a perfectly manicured fingernail. Ruby gnashed at her finger; they both smiled.

"You okay?" Ruby checked.

"I really wish people would stop asking me that question," Regina complained.

"There's no pleasing you, is there?" Ruby teased as Regina snagged her arm and dragged her somewhere. "You bitch when people care, you bitch because they don't." She huffed a sigh and crossed her arms. Regina guided her shoulders in the right direction and then pushed her into the plushy couch.

"Quiet, Mutt, or you won't get a walk later," Regina groused.

"Maybe we're asking you because we care enough to notice that something is eating at you," Ruby continued. Regina's empty threats and barbs hadn't afflicted her in years. "Is he right? Did you feel coerced to have sex with him?"

"Oh for god's sake," Regina snapped and dropped onto the cushion beside her sister. "This is Robin Hood. He can barely coerce his son to eat breakfast."

"Then what the hell is your deal, Mayor Grouch-a-lot?"

Regina squinted at the bodacious woman. "Being blind had made you bold."

"So, what's the problem? Is this what was bothering you at the hospital? You had sex, and it just wasn't _there?_ " Ruby held pressure on the tree that needed to fall.

Regina pushed fingers through black hair and huffed. "I used him. I'd just found out you were blind, and you begged me to keep Henry safe. It all felt like too much pressure," she confessed quietly.

Ruby groped the air until she found her shoulder and followed it to her hand. "Emma's back now, so we have two magical machines at our disposal," the wolf joked.

"It's not that," Regina smiled sadly at the blind woman and squeezed her hand. "It was too much to care for someone again, to care for you again. Sex has always been a coping mechanism, but it just felt empty." She shrugged and waved the free hand in the air. "I suppose it achieved the desired result of distraction. I just hadn't expected to feel so hollow after the night ended."

"It's called one-night stand regret. Well, that's what I call it when Granny isn't around," she amended quickly. "It's when you know you shouldn't do it, but you do it any way and then every time you see that person afterwards – at the grocery store or walking down the street – you get that pit in your stomach all over again." Ruby explained. "Maybe you need to talk about it and try again. Make it about the two of you instead of using it to forget something. I mean, even if you're not in love with the guy, it should still be fun and feel good."

Regina listened and nodded. Light brown eyes grew round and distant until the wolf finished. The doorbell disrupted the moment. The mayor rubbed her forehead against the headache forming there as she stood. "When did you get so wise?" She asked her sister and kissed her cheek. Ruby just grinned.

Heels tapped smartly against hardwood as Regina crossed the foyer. Robin ducked back into the kitchen to finish Belle's tea now that she stalked to the door. A very guilt-looking Emma greeted her on the other side – a lopsided grin on her lips, white knitted toboggan pulled over her ears, hands shoved into her back pockets, apology already on the tip of her tongue.

"Where the hell were you last night?" Regina demanded, invading her personal space to keep the conversation private from little sister's ridiculous ears.

"My apartment," Emma answered quickly, too quickly. People who had something to hide always prepared answers to questions that might have been asked.

Regina stepped onto the stoop without a coat and closed the door. "Enough lying," she said, cold and controlled. That voice told Emma that she'd not only pissed off Regina, but she'd also hurt her feelings.

Emma had the dignity to look ashamed and kicked the toe of her boot against the stone slate. "I was seeing someone. I was going to come back last night, but I fell asleep."

"Who?"

"I can't tell you," Emma mumbled.

"Have you rekindled your relationship with this mystery woman? Is that where you've been the past two weeks?" Regina demanded. A flicker of intense but unrecognizable emotion ignited in caramel eyes – the same one she'd seen in the bedroom two nights prior. "Is she still alive in this world, Emma?"

"Just stop," Emma snapped and tried to step around her. Regina blocked her path to the door.

"Is she still alive after you watched her die?" Regina asked again.

"Oh my god, what the hell is your obsession with this?" Emma exploded, startling both of them. "No, I did not stay with her last night."

"Is she alive?"

."Why can't you let this go?" Emma yelled. She grabbed Regina's shoulders and gave her a shake. Fear and rage simultaneously sparked in caramel eyes. "Do you know how hard this is for me?"

Regina held perfectly still. A thread of guilt tugged at her belly. Emma had asked her not to push about the woman in the other timeline, but that's all she wanted to know. Obsessive and thick, the desire to know filled her chest every time The Savior stepped into the room. She needed to stop before she destroyed Emma's trust and cut lifeline out of that pit of grief she'd dug. Why Emma had chosen her to help, she figured she'd never understand. Desperation eclipsed the anger churning stormy green eyes, and Regina released the breath she'd held while reading the situation. Calm Emma had returned.

"I can't imagine how confused you must feel," Regina admitted.

Black hair fell forward on a hung head. Emma released her slowly and wrapped the independent hands around her own ribs to keep from touching the other woman again. Regina clasped hers in front of her hips, shifted weight one foot to the other and back again. Emma brushed away errant tears with the heel of her left hand, tucked it away beneath the right.

"When Whale brought Daniel back after the curse broke, he wasn't…" She swallowed. "He wasn't Daniel. I know our situations are very different, Ms. Swan, but I have also looked into the eyes of the person I once loved more than anything and saw no trace of that person. I had to let him go because keeping him alive was not fair to him."

"And if you had looked into his eyes and saw the same person?" Emma asked. Her voice floated between them on the gentle breeze of hope. "Well, not the same person, exactly, but you looked into his eyes and knew that he would have become the other if circumstances were different?"

"She does live," Regina concluded form Emma's question. It sounded more surprised and sad than questing for answers. She smiled at Daniel's kind eyes and smile. The grief faded enough to feel joy towards his remembrance. "If I had been given a second chance, I'd have protected it at all costs, but I'm not sure True Love gives us second chances."

"It gave Ruby and Belle one," Emma reminded her of the women seeking protection in her house.

Regina exhaled in a breathy, self-deprecating laugh. "Perhaps only the pure of heart are allowed second chances."

Emma shoved her hands into slits at the front of her blue leather jacket. "Maybe you've just been looking for it in the wrong place," she countered with a lopsided grin.

"Robin is my soulmate and a good person who loves me. Where else am I to look?" Regina snapped, defensive in the vulnerability of the moment.

"Maybe a heart that has experienced as much darkness as yours needs to look for True Love itself and not the face attached to it," Emma danced around any direct approach.

Regina threw up her hands, exasperated. "What the hell is that supposed to mean?"

Emma laughed at the nonsensical advice and shook her head. "I have no idea. I just got back from a mind fuck time portal, I don't have to make sense." Regina rolled her eyes, but a light smirk pulled at one side of her mouth. "Is everything okay with you and Robin?"

The irritated joy seeped from brown eyes, mouth falling slack. "I don't know."

"Want me to break up with him for you?" Emma joked. "Have we reached middle school girl level in our friendship yet?"

Regina let out an unrestrained bark of laughter and smiled at the silliness of the offer. Two thin lines of emotion erupted on her forehead, and Emma watched the transformation as floored as she'd always been when Regina graced the world with that smile. The mayor held the expression for a moment longer, and the silence lingered in warmth and comradery. Regina shivered and rubbed her arms.

"Come on, you're freezing out here. We can talk more later. I got a text from Mom, and she's gathering everyone at Town Hall in a few hours to make the announcement about the hearts," Emma caught her up to speed on the situation, inviting the cold between them once more.

Regina nodded once and followed her inside. She hung back at the doorway of the living room where Belle and Ruby sat on the sofa. At least Belle had emerged from the bedroom, in desperate need of a shower and change of clothes from the bloody shirt and skirt she'd worn for two days, but she clawed her way back. The librarian's big blue eyes shifted about restlessly, but at least she'd stopped screaming every time one of them walked into the room. Ruby's hands fidgeted on the verge of disobedience in her lap to keep from reaching out to her partner. Emma sat cross-legged on the floor in front of them and touched Belle's knee.

"How you feeling?" The Savior asked with an encouraging smile, and Regina felt one of her own fighting to break free. Whatever Emma had done the past two weeks, she'd walked through the hell of her own mind to return to them. She'd left in order to come home.

Belle shrugged one shoulder and held the steaming cup of tea closer to her chest. "It's difficult to determine reality from what my mind may be hallucinating."

"I called Archie this morning on my way over. He said he'd come over and talk with you if you'd like. He would know better than any of us what's happening, and he might be able to prescribe you something that would take the edge off," Emma explained gently, not wanting to spook the other woman with talk of medicating her into submission. "I won't let anyone do anything you don't want, Belle. If you don't want the meds, fine, but you need to talk to someone who can help you process what happened to you. Right now, I think that's someone who isn't emotionally invested in the situation."

The librarian nodded. Blue eyes shifted to the different gazes observing her. Ruby's gauze-covered face pointed in her direction. She reached out and touched her partner's shoulder. "Will you come with me?"

Tension visibly released from the wolf's coiled body. "Of course, Baby, if that's what you want." Ruby covered her hand and pulled it onto her lap between her two larger ones.

Emma released a contented sigh. They'd be okay. "I'll let him know that he can come over in a few hours. Granny is bringing lunch by because Regina and I have something to take care of in town. If you need either of us, just send up the book signal, and we'll poof over."

"Book signal?" Belle's nose scrunched in confusion.

"Yeah, like the bat signal for librarian's," Emma explained to a room of crickets. "Seriously, none of you have seen Batman?"

"I have," Robin piped up as he crossed the foyer and stood by Regina. "Roland loves the superhero cartoons. I'm surprised you haven't seen them, Regina. Don't you read comic books with Henry?"

"Seriously?" Emma and Ruby exclaimed in unison.

Regina rolled her eyes, giving up the façade of ignorance. "Holy betrayal of trust, Batman. Thanks for that, Boy Wonder."

Robin grinned sheepishly and wrapped an arm around her shoulders. She shook her head but accepted the affection, snaking a hand around his waist. She spared a glance at Emma's face, expecting a smirk that foreshadowed many occasions of teasing and ribbing in her future. Instead, she found Emma's eyes closed and head bowed slightly but not enough to obscure deep scores of grief etched around her eyes and mouth. Emma exhaled a ragged breath and revealed shimmering green eyes that reached into her own. The Savior forced a sad grin, not bothering to silently deny the sharp agony that squeezed her soul from whatever just triggered it. She might have hidden it from the others if they had looked, but she allowed Regina to see, to walk this path with her.

What Emma endured on the other side, Regina knew in that moment that she'd participated in a major way. As she held the penetrating gaze, she silently vowed that The Savior would not endure it alone in this world.


	21. Fractures

Hello again, Lovelies! So, there seems to be an issue with FF and reviews. I think I'm getting most of them in my email alerts and have sent an email to them with the issue. I hope I've read everyone's, but if you've asked a question and I haven't answered, that's probably the reason why. Please feel free to PM me or twitter me… is that the right phrasing for that statement?

Anywho…

Song: Supposed to Be by Icon for Hire (go check out their new album. They are freaking rocking it!)

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Regina scanned the room again. Garbled cacophony echoed on marble walls in the large council room on the bottom floor of Town Hall. Once word spread that Regina intended to return every single heart she'd taken over the years, masses of people arrived to observe the auspicious event as much as to reclaim what had been taken. For the most part, former guards and soldiers of The Queen's army stepped forward. The fairies used their dust to merge hearts with the proper body. Snow White and David handled crowd control and an occasionally squalling infant. Emma lingered near her wall of boxes after a brief reunion with her parents. The Sheriff's badge clipped to her belt and gun holstered at her side, Emma almost looked normal. Almost.

They'd barely dented the sheer number of hearts waiting to be returned. Each time she squeezed one of the glowing organs to find the owner, Emma winced and swallowed like nausea renewed with every single heart. The Savior said nothing, though, and stood stoically at her side with crossed arms and hypervigilant eyes. Emma's unease rattled her nerves. She'd have thought the sheriff would be as excited and uncontrollably giddy as her mother and father, but Emma never spoke or smiled or lit up green eyes with enthusiasm.

Regina shoved a heart into some unknown chest without looking at the woman's face and crossed the long wall to the sheriff. "I enacted a barrier spell around the house. Ruby and Belle are protected," she assured her. Maybe worry for her friends caused the dramatic responses.

"I know. I watched you, remember," Emma snapped and scanned the room again. A random person walked in front of them, and she clamped her eyes shut, shaking her head back and forth lightly as though she tried to rattle loose a memory of their face.

"Emma," Regina whispered and stepped closer. "Do you know her?"

Images of dead faces staring up at her flickered in and out of reality. They weren't hallucinations, they were memories. Half of these people had died, and she'd watched. She'd seen life abandon their eyes that stared at the sky, held their hands, listened to their dying words, heard their screams as they fell. Yet, they walked by without acknowledging her or that life.

"I killed her," Emma answered, barely heard above the orchestra of jumbled voices.

"Emma," Regina breathed and reached for the forearm pressed tightly over a heaving chest. The Savior flinched away from the contact before Regina touched her.

"Just get this done," she snapped around bared teeth and glared at the room again.

Regina clenched her own jaw and waited for something softer to follow Emma's command. Clamping down on the urge to rail against Emma's order, Regina opened another heart chest and pulled out the thumping organ within. Slight streaks of black laced into the mostly bright red soul. Regina scanned the crowd and added pressure. A large man grabbed his chest, and she held up the heart to catch his attention. He looked familiar, but so had they all, nameless faces that had once displeased her.

"Horace," Emma blurted and took a step towards the man with no flicker of recognition of her in his kind eyes.

"Emma," a soft, feminine voice caught her attention. Astrid emerged from the crowd, nose buried in a clipboard. "Do you know where the checklist for…" The fairy bumped into the broad chest of the soldier who had become her friend and confidante. He caught her with a hand as large as the width of her waist and kept her from following the clipboard to the floor.

"Oh!" Astrid exclaimed and stared up at his kind grey eyes. "I'm sorry," she murmured in no hurry to disentangle from the man who Emma knew would fall in love with her.

"It's my fault," he corrected her quickly, still holding her about the waist.

The moment should have been beautiful. Emma pressed the heels of her hands into her eyes. Adrenaline pounded into her heart. Astrid's dead eyes stared up at her from the marble floor when she opened them. The body existed only in her head. "No," Emma whispered and closed her eyes again.

An iron fist gripped her chest, and she gasped around it, unable to catch a single molecule of oxygen. Bending over, she propped herself on one hand locked on her knee. The other grabbed at her chest, clawing holes for air. "Emma, Sheriff, Oh no." The words blended together as the voices swirled in one distorted sound.

Large hands broke her fall, and she gazed up to find Horace's grey eyes spinning with the ceiling. He picked her up a moment later at Regina's behest and shielded her with his large chest as the crowd parted. Cooler air hit her face in the darker hallway. Astrid and Snow shooed nosy rubberneckers away from the scene as Horace lowered her to the cold stone floor and leaned her against the wall. Emma gasped for breath, tears streaking down overly flushed cheeks.

"Get away from me," Emma growled at the man and shoved his shoulders violently as she came to her feet. "Everyone just get the fuck away from me!" Lights flickered above Emma's head, the start of her magic slipping into a frenzy from sensory overload.

"Out," Regina ordered. She handed the heart to the man; one of the fairies were perfectly capable of finishing the job. "You, too, Snow. She's about to lose control her of her magic, and I need you and your son to go away," she explained calmly, stopping the protest in her step-daughter's throat. Static excited the hair at the back of her neck as Emma's magic expanded. Horace pulled Astrid to safety within the main room and held the door for Snow White, heart clutched tightly to his chest.

"Emma," she called and followed her down the hall where The Savior stood, shaking from holding her muscles so tightly.

"I can't move," Emma whispered, trapped and terrified by what lived inside of her. "If I move, it's going to explode."

Regina stepped into her line of sight. "Breathe," she murmured, still calm and in control of the situation. She held out her hands, palms up in silent invitation for Emma to take them.

"I can't. I'm going to hurt you," Emma cried and clutched her hands tightly against her breasts.

"You won't. I'm going to absorb your magic so I can dispose of it without hurting anyone or destroying the building. In order to do that, I need you to take my hands," Regina instructed in a soothing tone that settled Emma's anxiety just a tiny bit.

Regina stepped into her personal space, leaving only a few inches between their bodies. Emma held her concentrated gaze but made no move to initiate contact. Regina held a hand between them. Static shocks rolled off the other woman and licked her palm, her belly and thighs. With a nod, she touched three fingertips to Emma's fist. A sharp gasped echoed in the empty hallway, but Regina made no other sound, simply held Emma's gaze and absorbed the excess energy threatening to explode in a room full of people. Emma clung tightly to it, afraid to hurt the mother of her son again.

"Don't," Regina whispered. "I can take it, Emma." The Savior nodded and waited for further instructions. Regina equalized the flow of energy between them, keeping Emma balanced on the edge of control.

"Breath," she murmured softly. "Just breathe and focus on me." Emma listened, so Regina continued. "You cannot continue to fight your magic. It is a part of you, and until you accept it, you will continue to lose control. Stop fighting yourself, Emma. It is as much a part of you as green eyes and blonde hair."

Emma nodded. Tears streamed down her face. Regina cupped one cheek, then the other and bent Emma's forehead to hers. "Take as long as you need," she whispered. "I will not leave you."

"There was a war. Gold started a war, Regina. I killed people," Emma babbled. "I killed them, but they're here. Does that remove the darkness on my heart? Is this my second chance to make everything right, to keep The Savior's heart pure? Can I still be The Savior if I'm a murderer?"

"I won't let you become a murderer. The world needs their Savior, much more than it needs an Evil Queen," Regina promised.

"If they come for you, I'll kill them," Emma promised right back and opened her eyes. Caramel rolled upwards to meet green in the small space between them. Emma grabbed her wrists painfully. "I'll kill them."

"Emma Swan, you will not kill for me," the sorceress declared in a deep voice that teetered on the precipice between control and hysteria. Regina breathed for a moment. On the next inhale, she added, "Ever," in a breathy promise.

"He killed Astrid," Emma whined. "She was my friend there. She kept me sane the first few weeks because I wasn't able to see or talk to anyone else. Horace is her True Love, I think. She wouldn't leave the fairies for Leroy, but I think she'll leave for him. I saw her body." Emma bounced back and forth in the narrative, and Regina followed as best she could.

A surge of power exploded, and Regina winced at the slight overload. With a breath, she guided the energy down her legs and returned it to the earth through thick marble and cement. It had taken her years to spindle the excess during heightened emotional moments, but Emma lacked every single bit of training she should have received. She was right to leave, she was a ticking bomb with no timer attached.

"Emma, breathe," she instructed.

"Are they real? I'm not dead, right? Am I in Hell? Am I cursed to live an eternity remembering a world that killed everyone I love while they live and breathe around me every day?"

"Emma, look at me." She waited until Emma complied. "You are not dead. This is not Hell, as much as it pains me to say that, and you are certainly not being punished. What would you even be punished for? Jaywalking?" Regina snapped.

"I left you. I left Henry. I left everybody." Emma parted their foreheads to better see Regina's eyes. "I didn't want to come back because it was easier for me there."

Regina's eyes tightened, facial muscles clenched. Emma's confession had hurt her. More tears streamed down The Savior's flushed face. Still, Regina breathed and channeled magic. "That's why you don't want anyone to know. You want the guilt to destroy you because you think that's what you deserve."

"It is what I deserve," Emma prostrated herself before the woman who knew nothing of what they could share, what they could build together. "I'm so sorry, Regina. I didn't mean to choose that Storybrooke over this one, but it didn't hurt so much there."

"What didn't hurt?" Regina implored, but Emma hung her head and closed her heart. The magic receded, and Regina stood holding Emma's face for no reason other than to keep them both anchored in the moment. "Emma, what didn't hurt on that side?"

"Being with her. I can be with her if I go back, if I recreate the timeline. I don't think she can love me here," Emma said as she raised her eyes again, piercing Regina's soul to gaze inside. "I don't think she can love me here," she repeated, quieter, more soulful.

Regina waited in the stillness that finally followed the storm raging in The Savior's heart. Stiff fingers loosened their death grip around her wrists, slid down her forearms and up her biceps. "Regina, I…" Green eyes flickered back and forth, and Emma's chest jumped up and down as she teetered between speaking and acting. "I…" she tried again. Green eyes dropped to her mouth, bounced back to her eyes, and then lowered to her lips once more.

A door slammed open at the end of the hall, and Emma sprang back from the other woman, shaking. She averted her eyes no matter how many times Regina tried to catch them again and hugged herself tightly.

"Ahh, my favorite blonde and brunette. Just the ladies I've come to see," Gold's voice slithered around them like the putrid stench of rotting flesh. He smiled sweetly. "What the hell are you doing?" He demanded and leaned both hands on his cane.

"I'm having a yard sale. Buy a bundle of used hearts for a discount?" Regina baited him as she slowly turned to face her mentor. Flipping the black blazer behind her, slim hands wrapped around her hips.

Rumpel ignored her and glared at Emma over Regina's shoulder. "Stop this," he warned. "This has your fingerprints all over it, Savior, and if The Queen starts returning magical objects, they'll demand mine next." He shifted his gaze back to Regina's. "You understand." His nose wrinkled like he spoke of a new stop light in front of his store instead of actual lives she still controlled.

"I do," Regina chuckled. "I just don't care."

"Stop this before I do," Rumpelstiltskin threatened in his gentle voice that convinced people to kill themselves and feel good about doing it. Emma shivered.

"Or what? Will you blind me in a dark alley, too?" Regina snapped back. She was done sitting on her hands. She needed to explode his brains and watch him shove them back into his skull.

"Of course not, Dearie." He stepped forward, and Regina sidestepped directly in front of Emma who had been beside her shoulder until that point. "I'd prefer to devour you alive."

"What?" Emma blurted. Rumpel's eyes shifted to hers over Regina's head. A flash of Ruby's bloated face choked her.

"He fucking knows," Emma gasped, grabbing at her throat to loosen the muscles. "You fucking know!"

"Emma!" Regina grabbed her shoulder fruitlessly as she passed.

Gold raised his cane in defense. Emma blocked his wrist and tackled him to cold cement. White light illuminated the dark hallway, a bastardized beacon of hope. Straddling him, Emma stared at her hands for three seconds before meeting his dark eyes. "How did you do it?" She demanded, fist already descending upon his jaw.

"How did you fucking do it!" Blow after blow rained down upon the man who had yet to retaliate against the assault. Blood detached from Emma's knuckles and spattered on the wall.

"Emma, stop. This is not the way," Regina grabbed her arm mid-swing.

"Then what is the way?" Emma growled and shoved her back as she sprang to her feet. "You know better than anyone that you can't beat him with mind games. You can't outplay him, but he's a coward, Regina. He can't stand direct conflict, especially from a strong woman, and I'm done hiding. I'm done fucking losing."

Regina's back hit the wall on the opposite side of the meeting room. Round caramel eyes stared up at her, not even bothering hiding the fear Emma incited. Regina's eyes shifted over her shoulder, and Emma spun, dropping to one knee, in one fluid motion. White exploded from her palm and slammed into Rumpel's gut. His body and raised cane flew through the air. The murmur beyond the doors hushed when he crashed into the room and landed flat on his back. The cane bounced and clattered on marble.

Emma surged forward – a bundle of raw nerves, pure grief, and the liquid heat of adrenaline. She snagged his preferred physical weapon as she passed. He raised as far as one knee before The Savior spun in a graceful arc and brought the full force of the momentum upon his temple with the golden handle of the elegant stick that glowed white under the influence of her magic. A pop-crunch of bone and cartilage echoed on marble. His body twisted in the air, barely caught before his bloody face slammed on the floor.

Simultaneously, Emma tossed the cane to the floor and freed the gun at her hip. Leveling it at the back of his head, the solace of vengeance filled her with peace. Everything slowed down, quieted until only her own pounding heart and heavy breaths reached her ears. Trigger accepted finger like an old friend sitting down to a nice, cold beer. It resisted slightly beneath the pad, inviting the challenge of squeezing like a friendly game between teammates.

"No!" Regina yelled and stepped in front of the gun. She grabbed the chamber, barrel pressed into her stomach.

Emma jerked from the trigger.

"No," Regina repeated quietly. They stared at each other, chests heaving, unyielding eyes challenging. "No matter how much it hurts, you are not this, Emma Swan."

"It won't kill him," Emma reasoned.

Regina smirked. "I'm not concerned for his life. One more thing checked off my to-do list," she joked. Emma refused concession, so Regina took a step closer, forcing the barrel painfully into her gut. "Look around, Savior," she whispered.

Stormy green eyes shifted back and forth. Terrified eyes refused to meet hers. Some who knew her better carried expressions of pity or horror or a mixture of the two. Snow clutched Neal to her chest, torn between intervening and protecting her younger child from the older one. Horace held Astrid close to his chest with a trunk-like arm that practically shielded her entire torso. David fidgeted, eyes bouncing between the mayor and his daughter. He looked pissed and ready to take her down if the need arose. Friends and acquaintances, victims and innocents stared at her, afraid of the woman meant to save them all.

Regina caught the gun as her hand fell. A thumb and forefinger squeezed the butt and extended it toward David. He took it and stepped backwards into the crowd. Emma linked fingers behind her neck, squashing her cheeks with her elbows. "I'm sorry," she murmured to no one in particular.

"Arrest her, Deputy," Gold ordered, a satisfied sneer on his bloody mouth.

"Shut up, Imp," Regina snapped without removing her eyes from the threads unraveling in Emma's eyes.

"I'm sorry," Emma whined. Clamping green eyes shut, her body fell forward until elbows touched her knees. Strong legs crumpled next. Knees and elbows hit the floor, and a hollow sob reverberated on marble walls. Still, no one approached the unhinged woman. She had not been their Emma for a very long time.

"Blue," Regina snapped and scanned the crowd for the leader of the fairies.

"I want her arrested! She assaulted me, and I intend to press charges," Gold demanded again, touching the back of his thumb beneath his bleeding nose for effect as he sat up.

David glanced at Regina and then his daughter. A sense of duty broke his heart all the way to his eyes, and he tucked Emma's gun into the back of his pants. Emma wailed again, unseeing of her father's martyrdom in her pending arrest.

"Touch her, and I'll break every bone in your hand," Regina seethed behind clenched teeth. "Blue!" The fairy appeared from the crowd wordlessly. "Finish returning these hearts. There is another wall in my vault, but it's sealed. Contact me once you've finished so I can bring the rest."

"Mayor Mills, surely you cannot condone this behavior in one of your appointed offices," Gold protested.

Regina's lip pulled back at the sight of him. Rage crashed and swelled beneath her breast, gnashing sharpened teeth at his throat. She lit a fireball, intending to quiet him for the rest of day by shoving it down his smug throat. Gold's glassy brown eyes challenged her, dared her to seek vengeance. She fulfilled that particular role better than anyone he knew, seeking revenge.

"I'm sorry," Emma gasped again. "I'm sorry."

The excited light in his eyes faded when she closed her fist around the flames and ground marble with the heel of her boot, whirling away from him. "I demand to press charges, Madame Mayor," he cried again, but no one seemed to listen, more captivated by their former queen.

She knelt on both knees and touched Emma's back. The Savior flinched, coiling everyone else with her own tight muscles. When she relaxed, Regina rubbed her back and bent her mouth to Emma's ear. "What do you need right now?" echoed on the floor and around the walls for everyone to hear.

"Get me out of here," Emma managed without raising her head.

"Where?"

"I can't be around anyone right now. Just take me somewhere so I can't hurt anyone," Emma blubbered. Saliva and snot dripped to the floor a few inches from her face. She choked on air and tears, coughed. Spit splashed back from the force and spattered her cheeks and nose.

Regina closed her eyes, and they disappeared in a swirl of angry, violet smoke.


	22. Distraction

Here ye be, pretties. I'm so glad you enjoyed the last chapter. Broken Emma is so much fun to write. Enjoy!

Song: Skinny Love by Birdy

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Regina craned her neck over her shoulder, but Emma hadn't moved from the spot where she'd left her on the sofa in Emma's crappy little apartment. Snow babbled in her ear. She laid the phone on the counter and measured coffee into the filter, filled the water compartment on the back, and flipped the switch. Dark eyes stared at the device, one hand punched to her hip and the other on the lip of the counter. Snow's chirping lilt continued spewing from the speaker though she spoke softly enough that Regina failed to understand a word of it. With a deep breath and flip of black hair, Regina pressed the phone to her ear again.

"Regina, are you listening?" Snow asked frantically.

"No, I'm not. Please pick up Henry after school and bring him to Emma's apartment. You may have dinner at Granny's on me if you wish." Regina snapped and ended the call. It buzzed half a second later with Snow's name beside a snowman and fireball emoji glowing on the screen. Regina tossed it on the counter and pinched the bridge of her nose. Coffee trickled a few minutes before she raised her head and looked at Emma again.

"Did you call Ruby and Belle?" Emma asked, finally raising her gaze from bloodied and busted knuckles.

"I did. They have no option but to stay put until I return and lower the barrier," Regina assured her. Emma opened her mouth to protest. "Don't worry, dear, there's plenty of food in the bowl and I invested in one of those self-watering contraptions you see on the commercials late at night." Emma cracked a grin, ducking her head to hide it. Regina smirked.

She sweetened one cup, added cream to both, and set them on the coffee table in front of Emma. She tapped the rim that contained the sugar, and Emma nodded. "You know how I take my coffee?" She asked Regina's back while the other woman returned to the kitchen.

"Everyone knows how you take your coffee. I've never seen you drink less than three cups during department meetings. You will die of diabetes by the time you're 50, but at least in a decade or so, I won't have to listen to your foot tapping beneath the table for two hours because you've consumed too much caffeine," Regina babbled and waited for the tap water to heat. Satisfied, she filled a large mixing bowl and snagged a dishcloth before returning to the sitting area.

Emma tracked her movements and then lowered her eyes to the blood on her hands and jeans when Regina sat beside her. The mayor sipped coffee before dunking the rag into the water. Without asking permission, she lifted Emma's left hand and wiped it clean, rewetting the cloth a few times. Emma winced against the sting of hot water in the cuts along her knuckles. Slowly, the blood disappeared and the pain receded, until Regina's warm hand held nothing but something new and clean.

"You're being really nice," Emma blurted.

Regina raised one sculpted eyebrow and rinsed the rag before starting on the right hand. Her eyes never faltered from the task she treated much more delicately than the situation required. "Would you prefer I yell?"

Emma shook her head. "No. I just didn't expect this is all. I mean, I know you're a good mother, but I didn't expect you to be so… I don't know, gentle?"

"I'm not incapable of compassion, Ms. Swan," Regina murmured as she dried her hands. She reached for the lukewarm coffee on the table and settled into the couch, shoulder-to-shoulder as she leaned back.

"I know that," Emma said once she stopped fidgeting. "You just sort of exercise your right not to be compassionate more often than not." Turning her head, she met light brown eyes and grinned. "It's nice."

Regina's eyebrow jumped concurrently with a muscle in her neck. She lowered her gaze, unable to form the words to express the emotions Emma's innocent confession incited. She'd used the same breath to call her cold and unfeeling, which made the appreciation so much sweeter. "You asked me once how I became so…" She waved a hand, grasping for the description not quite coherent.

"I think the exact words were, 'How the hell did you get like this,'" Emma finished the thought, remembering the moment perfectly. It was the first time she'd felt pity for the woman next to her, knew for certain that she'd been damaged beyond the point of return.

"It began like this," Regina confessed. "It began with grief I couldn't handle and a hunger for revenge that nothing sated. I isolated myself from everything that brought pain, but in doing so, I also isolated myself from everything that could have saved my soul. And, the more revenge I obtained, the more I wanted because confronting my grief waited for me on the other side of that vengeance. A part of me always knew that it would never end."

"That's why you cast the curse," Emma finally put it all together. "If everyone lived the same day over and over, no one could ever really hurt you or get attached to you. The Dark Curse is a reflection of the caster's deepest desires, whether she's aware of it or not. Have I got that much right?"

Regina shook her head slightly, eyes soft. It wasn't an answer, just an expression of the repetitive thoughts beating against Regina's mind. Emma squeezed her wrist lightly. When Regina's palm detached from the coffee mug, Emma's slipped into it. Both woman studied their joined hands as Regina's fingers curled around the larger one and her thumb stroked the busted knuckle at the bottom of Emma's forefinger.

"You know more about how I became the way I am than you'll say, don't you?" Regina asked without taking her eyes from the cold hand she caressed softly. "This other Regina told you," she added, a sliver of unidentifiable emotion in the tone.

"I didn't want it to be the same for you," Emma confessed around the tears squeezing her throat.

"The night before you left, you promised you'd never hurt me like that," Regina started, not quite sure where she wanted to go with the thought. "Why?"

A muscle tightened in Emma's strong jawline. Regina saw the outline from the corner of her eye but failed to find the strength to meet the other woman's eyes in the vulnerable moment. Emma squeezed her hand, and Regina swore she felt the full potential of Emma's love in that one gesture. She kept the agony close to her to protect them from things they'd rather not relive. She protected them and punished herself, valuing the trust of her friends and family over the dignity of seeking help in her moment of need. Even returned to the rightful timeline, Emma protected the moments she'd shared with each of them out of respect of both versions of them.

"I tried to force myself on you, Regina. I didn't mean to do that. I was really drunk and really confused, and I knew what Leopold and Rumpelstiltskin had done to you. I could see how scared you were of me, and I didn't want to see that on the face of someone I lo…" She squeezed her hand again, gathering composure with a deep, slow breath. Neither of them acknowledged the slip of sentiment as she continued, "Someone I care about. I didn't want you to know about the other timeline, but I needed you to know that I'd never hurt you. I will never betray you like that slimy bastard."

Emma turned her head again, instinctively seeking Regina's eyes. The mayor met her halfway. Her heart pounded in the vulnerability of letting Emma behind the walls that protected her tender heart that bruised as easily as it ever had. Emma granted her the same faith, letting the pain rush forth in the quiet moment.

"What did Gold say that upset you so much?" Regina asked, holding the gaze as long as Emma looked at her, which lasted only a few more seconds before The Savior challenged her mug to a staring contest.

"He said he'd rather devour you alive," Emma shrugged. "He knows." Ruby's puffy, red face and dark veins thundered behind stormy green eyes. Emma traced the little penguin figure raised on the side of the cheap mug and breathed until the words filed into a line in her throat in an orderly manner rather than the jumbled, elbow-throwing hoard it wanted to be.

"Chimera devour their prey alive. In the other timeline, Ruby got poisoned with chimera venom." Regina gasped, and Emma waited for that sink in. "I had to make a deal with C… I made a deal for the antidote. She lived, but…" She shrugged and sipped lukewarm coffee that turned sour on her tongue.

"I've seen bodies of people who had fallen victim to chimera. What they left was barely recognizable as human," Regina shivered, the images still clear decades later.

"The swelling and the veins?" Emma asked. Regina stared into her coffee – all the answer Emma required. "Ruby looked like that, too, except she was still breathing and begging me to save Belle and…" She found Regina's eyes again, though they refused to greet hers. "And you. She loved you there, too, and she practically used her dying breath asking me to help you."

"Why did I need help?"

Emma sighed and leaned forward to deposit cold, unwanted coffee on the table. "Do you want to play Xbox with me?"

"Excuse me?" Regina blurted as the heavy conversation tipped over and spilled through her fingers. Emma had reached a limit, apparently.

The blonde already crossed the room and rattled through cords and consoles in the stand beneath the television. "Xbox is all wrong to start you out." She plugged in a bulky grey console and blew across the bottom of a game before shoving it in the top. "You need to start on the best game ever invented."

Emma bounded to her with a controller that looked like the top of an upside down plastic trident and shoved it into her hands with the enthusiasm of a puppy and the subtly of a bullhorn. "This button makes it go. Steer with the joystick in the middle."

"Emma, I really don't…"

"You'll be fine. C'mon please?" The Savior begged, big green eyes staring down at her, ready to shatter in the face of rejection.

"One game," Regina conceded with an irritated roll of brown eyes. Emma grinned cheekily and plopped onto the sofa beside her. "What is this grand technological advancement called?"

"Mario Kart."

Seventeen matches later, Regina tossed the controller onto the coffee table. "Damn your bananas!" She yelled and crossed her arms as Emma crossed the finish line victorious yet again.

Emma laughed and slouched into the couch. "Can you say that again so I can get a video of it? Ruby will never believe me, otherwise."

"No," Regina snipped and grabbed their forgotten mugs. "I'm glad my utter humiliation lightens your mood."

Emma chuckled silently at the back retreating to the kitchen. She watched Regina move around the small space, navigating it flawlessly despite the limited time she'd spent there. A knock at the door pulled her face towards the back of the couch, but she couldn't see over it in the slouched position. She waved Regina off as she stood. If Gold meant to kill her, she doubted he knocked politely first. Hook waited on the other side, devilish grin in full swing.

"Swan," he greeted, and she flung her arms around his neck. He picked her up with one arm and stepped inside, kicking the door shut. "Tell a man you've returned before attacking his nemesis in a public duel," he teased and set her back on her feet. "Bad form to let a mate know you've returned in such a manner."

Emma punched his shoulder and offered a genuine smile as apology. "I was gonna come see you. There's a lot of stuff going on right now."

"Aye," he murmured thoughtfully and ran his hand over thick, black stubble. "I heard of Ruby's injuries. You always have an ally." He bowed graciously, and Emma hugged him again when he straightened to full height.

"Thanks. I have a feeling we're going to need it. Gold knows about the other timeline. I don't know how, but I know it," Emma brought him up to speed.

"Uh, Love?" He nodded over her shoulder to Regina standing a few feet away, hands clasped so tightly it drained blood from knuckles. "Afternoon, Madame Mayor," he greeted and readjusted his belt nervously.

"She knows, Hook," Emma stepped back to include Regina in the triangle of trust and support she'd begun creating.

"I guessed considering hundreds of people are claiming their hearts as we speak," he acknowledged Regina's importance in the plot with a nod and a grin. "Welcome aboard." He, thankfully, refused to ask exactly how much she knew.

"I won't disrupt your time by lingering," he blurted suddenly.

"Uhh, okay," Emma chuckled. "She's not going to turn you into a toad, ya know. Not even that would make me kiss you," she joked, confused by the abrupt departure.

"Many manly pirate adventures to be had in the dead of winter upon a frozen harbor." He winked. "You know where to find me, and you only need ask for my assistance. I'm glad you've returned."

"Thanks. Come by later, and I'll tell ya all about it," Emma invited. He nodded in response and slipped out the door.

"I loathe that filthy, rum-soaked cretin," Regina said without emotion and returned to the kitchen.

"He's not that bad," Emma defended and followed her. "He's been a good friend. I'm pretty sure his cocky pirate thing is an act most of the time. I probably would have completely lost it if I didn't have someone to talk to who knew what the other side was like."

"You could have spoken to me," Regina snapped and slammed a mug into the sink. Emma flinched but assumed it hadn't broken because Regina scrubbed it.

"I didn't know that I could." Crossing her arms, she stared at the cabinet near Regina's thigh. "Regina, are you mad at me?"

The mayor dropped the mug into the drainer and wiped her hands on a light blue towel as she faced her again. A deep sigh collapsed her chest. "Of course not. It's a bit overwhelming to accept."

Emma offered an arid grin and crossed her arms loosely beneath her breasts. "Tell me about it."

Regina pulled a breath to speak again, but another knock at the door incited an exasperated sigh and an eye roll. Emma grinned at the blatant irritation and crossed to the door again. "Did you get your hook stuck on the knob," she joked as she flung open the door. David waited on the other side, face and shoulders heavy.

"You must be joking," Regina snapped. The heel of her boots tapped smartly as she crossed the room with the direct purpose of standing between Emma and Prince freaking Charming.

"I'm sorry, Emma," he spoke to his daughter over Regina's shoulder. "You fractured his skull and crushed his eye socket. Gold is pressing charges, so unless you have a really good excuse for attacking him, I have to take you to the station. He's already begun riling people by claiming he is the only person with magic who has to stay in check. He's going to start a riot if we're not careful, and Regina might even get pulled into this if people start calling for her blood again. I have to take you in."

"You will do no su…" Regina started.

"It's fine, Regina," Emma cut her off with a hand on her shoulder. "If the mayor and acting sheriff ignore it, it's only going to cause more trouble later. He might make another power play for one of the offices."

"Does someone want to fill me in on what's happening?" David asked, eyes moving between the two women.

Stepping around Regina, Emma met her eyes and shook her head. "I need a minute, Dad," she said and closed the door. She risked anyone who knew the truth, and risking Regina's life was enough. "Protect them," she murmured.

Regina nodded. "I'll follow you to the station."

"No," Emma stated firmly. "I'm a distraction. He knew how close I was to the edge, and he pushed my buttons on purpose. I don't know why, but he already made a deal with you for the mayor's position. Something else is coming. Protect them."

"We can't outplay him, so we must at least anticipate his next move," Regina recalled the words Emma said only a few hours prior.

Emma squeezed her arm and then opened the door to face the consequences of her actions.


	23. Rage

Here ye be, My Pretties! Also, I'm still getting all of your reviews in my email alerts. I'm so happy you're enjoying the story as much as you are!

Also, if anyone is interested, I'm writing a new original werewolf novel called Black Moon. I'm going to put up a few chapters on fictionpress later tonight. I'd love the feedback before I submit it to grad school workshops! Those are scary as hell, so some criticism beforehand is always good to have. I'll be putting up the raw story, edited only a few times as it is still in progress. Please go check it out for me, and I promise not to make you wait for the next chapter ;) (just kidding, you know I post fast.) My pen name is also Sinmora over there. Thanks!

Song: Snuff by Slipknot

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A small crowd waited outside the station when they arrived. Hook emerged from the swarm and opened the back door as David rounded the front of the squad car. Their shouts and chants blended together until it wasn't clear if they cheered for her arrest or protested it. She shrank between the two larger bodies on either side and allowed them to escort her into the building. Hook stayed at her side in the holding area while David locked the outside doors.

Emma plopped into her father's desk chair and threaded fingers over her stomach. "What the hell are you doing here?" Emma asked, grateful but surprised.

"Saw your father arrive as I left. Figured you'd need a friend," Hook answered without his usual swagger and flirt. He lifted one leg onto the corner of the desk and stared towards the window.

"You okay?" She studied the tense posture. Shoulders coiled and fist clenched tightly atop his thigh.

"Aye, Love. I, too, believe The Crocodile is planning something. The events of our visit to the other Storybrooke set into motion the dismantling of the crown, did they not?" He forced his hand to relax and gripped the edge of the desk. His smirk looked normal but fell short of his eyes. "We've visited this tavern before."

Emma scrubbed her face, ran both hands through her hair. "Yeah, we have. I thought I was nuts, but he's trying to recreate the events of that timeline."

"Agreed," Hook smiled, sad but genuine. His consistent calmness and support cradled her, the loving embrace of her favorite blanket and Disney movie. He shifted on the desk, and something rattled behind him.

Emma leaned forward slowly and reached over his thigh, not quite believing what she saw until it dangled from her fingertip. Blue's magical fairy shackles stared back at her like a bad joke. Hook squinted between stormy green eyes and the power-containing contraption. The change started in Emma's chest, breath coming faster and faster. It fanned embers behind her eyes until a conflagration of rage and betrayal burned white in a glow around the shackles.

"Swan," he warned and slid off the desk, taking a few steps back for fear of getting blasted again.

Emma took a deep breath and closed her eyes. Magic vibrated beneath her skin, cutting new pathways through veins and ligaments, filling her to the brim bodily. She exhaled and opened a release valve, letting the energy trickle from her until the glow receded. Hook watched, fascinated. Emma Swan had returned to them, the fire and unspeakable strength of will that granted control without formal training over a magic like none of them had ever seen. "Boil it twice and let it cool," she murmured.

Hard green eyes opened slowly to find his light blue studying her, admiring her. "I need your help," she said in low, controlled voice that managed a commanding tone in the softness of it.

"Aye, love," Hook answered.

"How do I get to Regina's without being seen?" She asked, already on her feet and stalking towards the back of the station.

"Out the back, head straight to the forest to the south," he instructed at the back door.

Emma checked the area at all angles before opening the door. She looked over her shoulder once and then sprinted down the alley. He followed her. In the distance, Town Hall loomed to the right, Granny's to the left. Two parts of one world that couldn't have possibly fathomed a human being with the soul of Emma Swan. The tracks would be easily followed in the deep snow, still Emma climbed the hill without looking back. At the tree line, she glanced at the station once more, a tiny dot from the top of the incline. With a deep breath, she closed her eyes again and held out the hand without the shackles. Hook watched snow rise from deep impressions, the tickle of magic exciting the hairs on his cheek and lip.

Emma wavered as her hand slapped limply against her thigh, and he steadied her shoulders. "I'm fine," she snapped and smacked his hands. He grinned and followed her once more.

He followed her over rocks and waist-deep snow banks and hidden tree roots. Her sure steps never faltered where his boots slipped in surprise. She felt the earth through her feet, sensed its danger and awe as they trekked around the edge of town until Regina's giant house became visible from the vantage point. Emma's face and hands burned in the cold, but she refused to relinquish the death grip around the chain connecting the two wrist cuffs. Sweat beaded at her temples and lower back, cooling almost instantly. The blue leather coat simultaneously kept the heat and cold within the thick wool interior. Still, she pressed onward through thick puffs of hot breath that sounded much louder in the stillness of the forest and thick snow blanket.

Finally, they descended. Two streets stood between the forest and Regina's house, but most of the folks who lived in the little suburban development kept their nose out of town affairs that had nothing to do with taxes and the senior center. Emma sprinted through yards and ice-covered roads with the grace of a deer compared to his fumbling, clumsiness upon the ice.

"Come on, Hook," she groused and grabbed his hand as he flailed on the slick road. Her strength balanced him, and they sprinted side-by-side to the back of Regina's house.

Tossing the shackles over the large privacy fence, Emma sprinted, grabbed the top, and pulled herself up the side. Slick boots slipped slightly against the treated wood. Hook followed, not quite as gracefully but no less athletic in the physical feat. Emma scooped the shackles from the snow and shook them. Flecks of ice stuck in crevices and between links of chain, ignored.

Robin spilled a cup of tea when she barreled into the back door. She might have laughed if she weren't so angry, but any acknowledgement of emotion threatened the tenuous control clapped over the magic surging through her. Robin glanced between her and Hook. Regina's raised voice echoed somewhere in the house, yelling at council members about the situation probably.

"Go to my car," she ordered Robin. "There's a green pouch on the front seat. Bring that to me," she finished without pleasantry as she grabbed a medium size pot hanging from a hook suspended above the island. The two men shared a look and shrugged when she turned her back to them to fill the pot with water. Robin followed her instruction, curious but silent.

"What the hell are you doing here?" Regina snapped.

"I think I fucked up again," Emma growled, barely controlling the rage.

"What happened?" Regina demanded and crossed her arms, pressing a cell phone against her bicep.

Emma dropped the shackles onto the marble-topped island without raising her eyes from the unmoving water in the black, Teflon-covered pot. "These were at the station," she said, voice dead and low.

"David agreed to bind your magic?" Regina blurted in her own igniting wrath.

"I don't know. I didn't ask. I just got the hell out of there," Emma answered as Robin appeared with the pouch Zelena had given her. He handed it over without getting too close and then stepped behind Regina to wait out the storm in silent, gentle support.

"What's that?" Regina asked, but Emma offered nothing else.

Everyone watched her watch the pot boil. She stirred the herbal concoction into popping bubbles until the water turned a bright green. The knob snapped loudly in the silence when Emma shut off the gas flame beneath the pot and removed it from the hot burner. Regina barely controlled the conniption when she set it to the cold marble countertop without the protection of a potholder but managed to hold her tongue. Emma's stillness scared her. Emma acted on instinct and emotion.

"Robin, could you give us a moment, please?" Regina asked, half turning to touch his forearm.

He nodded and glanced between the two women with crinkle on his brow. His gaze lingered on Regina's eyes while hers remained thoughtful and glued to the woman obviously in the midst of some sort of breakdown. Hook clapped his shoulder and directed him towards the foyer without being asked to dismiss himself from the kitchen. Maybe he had been wrong, maybe True Love found a way no matter where the hearts were housed.

Emma stuck her finger into the pot to test the temperature and jerked it back quickly and wiped it on her pants. Regina rolled her eyes and took a step behind the island, arms still clutching her chest.

"Emma, talk to me," she pleaded, not bothering to cover the fear and worry in her tone. That morning took their emotional bond far beyond the vulnerability required for this conversation.

The Savior tensed beneath the hand on her shoulder but resisted the urge to pull away from the comfort. Magic bit at Regina's palm, and the sorceress gasped at sheer force of the barely contained power. Emma controlled calm, even breaths and spared a glance at the woman who finally understood her stillness. Tendrils of warmth licked her palm, caressed stomach and breasts as she moved closer. It vibrated in her chest and spread in both directions until Emma's light magic hummed beneath her skin as though it had always belonged there. Regina exhaled a breathy caress that touched Emma's neck and cheek, and then another. Emma watched the influence of her magic undo the other woman's poise and control.

"I've got it," The Savior whispered. "Barely, but I've got it. Please stop touching me."

Regina pulled her hand away quickly, but a small grin tugged her lips. "Yes, you do," she encouraged, breathless and sated in the warmth remaining in her chest.

The fragmented edges of Emma's magic required no touch to feel it in such close proximity. Regina fought the urge to press closer and decided to be satisfied with the ardent fingertips that caressed her body in the space between them. Emma tracked the red and pink flush that crept up Regina's neck and blossomed on her cheeks. Her teeth latched onto her lower lip when glazed brown eyes met hers. Quite unaware of how her body reacted, Regina panted and held her gaze.

"I think I know why my magic is grounded in love," Emma whispered. "Anger makes it flare, too, and I need love to control it. I feel anger and love stronger than any other emotion. I think that's why it feels the way it does. Love fuels it and anger lets me use it."

"You literally yield the power of pure love," Regina uttered, still enthralled from the sensations prickling gooseflesh across the expanse of her body.

"I'm The Savior," Emma said as though it finally made sense to her. "I'm not The Savior because of some stupid prophecy. I'm The Savior because it's who I am." The words sounded nonsensical, even to her, but clarity filled Regina's hazy caramel eyes.

"Thank you for reminding me of that this morning," Emma whispered. Hands clenched into tight fists, battling the urge to touch Regina's cheek. Regina reminded her of why she'd sacrificed her own happiness upon her return to the proper timeline and why she intended to continue sacrificing it.

Wordlessly, Emma shattered the moment and turned back to the pot. The liquid inside felt cool to the touch now, so she set it back on the burner to boil again. Regina studied her face intently, but those valiant green eyes never moved back to hers. Emma had come to some sort of decision. She stirred the dark green mixture until it boiled again, removing it to cool once more. Regina caught a gasp when Emma moved away abruptly, taking the warmth of her magic with her around the kitchen as she gathered a large bowl and clean dish cloth.

"Emma, what is this for?" Regina asked when she stilled once more to stare at the pot.

The Savior never answered as she checked and rechecked the temperature until it cooled to her satisfaction. Minutes ticked by in silence, much faster but slower than they should have. Emma poured the mixture into the bowl and silently left the kitchen. Regina followed and watched from the doorway of the living room while Emma sat on the coffee table in front of Ruby. The Savior unwrapped the gauze around her sister's head and quietly pleaded with Ruby to trust in her. A thick white and blue film covered the expressive chocolate eyes they all wanted to see again.

A freshly showered Belle clutched Ruby's hand tightly and watched Emma as intensely as the rest of them. Hook and Robin huddled by the fireplace as Emma stood and tipped Ruby's head back. "Trust me," she murmured again. A tremor of fear attacked her hand. A deep breath settled the adrenaline, and Emma squeezed a few drops from the rag into Ruby's left eye.

"Ah, shit," Ruby swore and caught the excess running down her cheek when she bowed her head in pain. Blinking rapid, the wolf gasped and hissed through the burn. "Fuck that burns. What the hell is that?"

"Let me see," Emma demanded calmly and tipped Ruby's face upwards again. "I'm sorry it hurts."

Ruby opened her eyes, squinting to keep them open through the stinging. Dark chocolate emerged through the frost of blindness. Emma squeezed more from the rag into the left eye, leaving the right untouched lest she make everything worse. Ruby growled and crushed Belle's hand as she fought through the pain, she'd have traded it for broken ribs any day of the week. She gave in and wiped at the burning eye again, blinking to dispel the herbal treatment Emma deemed necessary. She shook her head back and forth and soaked up the wetness with her shirt. She dabbed again and again, still the moisture continued spewing from her eye.

She blinked, more wetness spilled onto her cheek. She wiped it again, the pain unbearable. Belle squeezed her hand, breathing hard as she controlled her own panic. Ruby whimpered pathetically and smudged her eye. Regina's tapping boots cleared the space in two steps. She wrapped an arm around Ruby's back as she sat and held her little sister tightly, hugging her through the pain. Ruby flailed, a squall of terror and agony. Emma watched, fascinated and eerily calm, as Ruby clawed at her eye and screamed. Regina grabbed her hand to keep her from tearing out the damaged eye. She looked helplessly to Emma who simply observed without emotion.

And then it stopped.

Ruby blinked. Once. Twice. One espresso flavored gaze tipped upward to find the calm face of her best friend staring down at her. The image of Emma blurred around the edges, and Ruby blinked to clear it. More hot liquid cascaded down a flushed cheek. The sensation inspired a brilliant smile on Ruby's wide, beautiful mouth.

"I'm crying," she whispered. Regina released her hand when Ruby gently reached fingertips towards the enchanting moisture. "I'm crying," she repeated.

"Did it work?" Emma asked, and Ruby's smile stretched painfully wider.

The wolf turned her head to find Belle's glassy blue eyes and wet cheeks. She caught her tears, no groping the air or guessing where her thumb might land. "It worked," she whispered.

Emma handed the dish towel to Regina and stepped back. The sorceress understood the meaning and immediately soaked it with fresh medicine from the bowl, lightly squeezing the excess so as not to drip everywhere between the bowl and Ruby's right eye. Emma wandered into the foyer, rage boiling beneath her skin. No one followed, so no one saw her snag the shackles from the island and slip out the back door and disappear into the woods again.

Instinct guided her direction, and anger pushed her forward through the painful inhalations of frozen air. She stopped at one point to catch her breath and released some magic in the form of covering her tracks in the snow. Confident no one followed her through the forest, she climbed the snow banks until that familiar cabin popped up in the distance, standing stark against the whiteness surrounding it. Emma sprinted forward, cold metal burning her hand. She pushed against the door and found the wooden lock in place on the inside.

With one powerful thrust of her leg, the lock gave way beneath her foot, and the door slammed open. Wood splinters flew through the small space and skittered across the table and floor. Zelena gasped and dropped the hot kettle. Without speaking, Emma swung the shackles over the table and caught the witch on the jaw. Zelena fell to the side, barely hitting the floor before Emma's body set upon her much weaker one.

"You set me up!" Emma screamed and snapped the shackles around Zelena's thin wrists.

Zelena's hips bucked up against hers, throwing her slightly off balance. Emma caught her weight on one hand beside Zelena's head and flung a fist into her jaw with the other. Zelena gasped and glanced around in a daze. Ragged pants blew hot air into her face as Emma worked to control the rage bubbling surging beneath her skin. It screamed for violence, for vengeance.

"Did you think I wouldn't put it together? The shackles and the herbs that fixed Ruby's eyes. You're not that stupid Zelena," Emma yelled two inches from her face.

"Rumpelstiltskin controls my magic," Zelena murmured breathlessly, still shifting her eyes back and forth to find something solid to stop the nausea churning her stomach.

"What?" Emma snapped, not at all expecting that answer. She grabbed two handfuls of buckskin coat and dragged Zelena upright and leaned her against the bed. The witch groaned at the force upon which her spine slammed against the wooden frame.

"He has my magic. He didn't kill me, he took my magic and brought me here. He'll kill me if he knows I helped you," Zelena confessed, and the fear in her dazed green eyes already producing tears made Emma believe her.

"You better talk fast before I tell Regina everything," Emma threatened.

"Please, she'll kill me, too. No one can know. I can help you beat him," Zelena offered, scrambling for survival. She grabbed one side of Emma's coat and closed her eyes, clinging to the thing with the power to hurt her in that moment. "I can help you," she said again and opened her eyes.

"Was it a lie, Zelena? Everything that happened between us in this cabin," Emma's voice grew as she waved frantic arms around the now-tainted space that had felt like a sanctuary from her pain. "Was any of it real or were you manipulating me the entire time?"

"I didn't fall down the ridge," the witch answered nonsensically. "He beat me for letting you escape. You weren't supposed to leave this place until he gathered the ingredients for another time portal. He left me in the snow to die."

"I'm supposed to just believe that because you say that's what happened? You've lied so much," Emma shook her again.

"Then kill me," Zelena taunted. "I haven't the strength to do it myself."

Wrath seared a brand onto The Savior's soul. Zelena grinned a malicious, bloody smile and yanked her closer with both hands on either side of Emma's open coat. The rage grew, sweltering the kindness and love Emma used to cage the demon of anger that clawed at freedom every time her magic activated within her breast. Emma teetered on that edge. Zelena saw no fear of the chasm from which she would never return, only the excitement of taking the plunge.

A sharp crack of Zelena's hand stinging her face shattered the silence of the cabin. "Do it, Savior."


	24. Unspoken Confessions

Oh, sweet swiss cheese on a hot ham sandwich to this chapter. That is all.

Song: Hymn of the Missing by Red (There is also a cover by Nightcore that I listened to while writing, but I remember the original to be much lovelier and haunting, so listen to that one for me.)

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Purples and pinks swirled in the sky high above the mountain tops. Lower, an orange radiance fought for spotlight just behind the tree line of firs and pines. Emma sniffed and wiped the back of her hand across her dripping nose. She stood at the head of the walkway leading to Regina's grand mansion and stared at the yawning dawn above the peak of the majestic house. She smelled the smoke and felt the heat of flames as The Queen burned her entire world to the ground along with Cora and Astrid's bodies. Self-preservation told her fight the memories, anchor her consciousness in reality. Her heart let it burn.

The door opened, and she blinked at it. From the flames, Henry slowly emerged, unconcerned by the conflagration in his mother's mind. "Ma?" He approached cautiously as Regina appeared behind him.

"Hey, kid," she whispered through the tears and pulled his lanky body into hers.

"Are you okay?" he asked and allowed his mother the comfort of holding her. He knew Emma suffered a loss and that she left to get her magic under control, but beyond that, he knew nothing of the pain she endured. He knew enough to forgive her.

"Yeah," she assured him, a bit too enthusiastically, contradicted by the tears streaming down her face, the dried blood on her clothes. "I'm fine, kid."

The bus sputtered to a stop, air breaks screaming at the slick road. Emma hugged him again and then pushed him towards the open door. Roland tore down the walkway and jumped onto the bus steps, oblivious to the situation as children often were. "I'll see you later," Emma said and gave him another nudge. He boarded the bus and took a seat by the window, staring hard at her as the machine kicked and shuddered into motion.

"Where have you been?" Regina asked, much closer than she'd anticipated – much calmer, too.

"I fucked up," Emma whined and put her hands on her hips as she turned to face the other woman. Her head bowed too far for the mayor to see her eyes, though. "Regina, I fucked up real bad."

Regina touched her shoulders, and The Savior crumpled into the warm body offering solace and support. Busted hands clung to rumpled fabric across Regina's back, the same maroon shirt she'd worn the previous day. A warning alarm sounded in Emma's mind, ignored, as she fell apart in Regina's arms. Her forehead pressed to Regina's neck, spine bent uncomfortably to the angle. The strain of it melted away when Regina touched the side of her head and neck like something fragile, something that might have broken with too much pressure. She touched her like something precious. Emma wept fresh tears onto her neck and chest, silent tears. Not one wail or agonizing sob tore from her throat, only soft, ragged breaths.

"Emma, where have you been? The town is in an uproar," Regina asked again after a few minutes. She brushed her cheek over tangled blonde hair.

The Savior stood straight and scrubbed at her face. The cool air felt good on the exposed skin, cooling and soothing the heat of anger and grief. Regina stood planted in the space a few inches from her. Her warmth washed against Emma's frozen legs, a tender current lapping at the edge of the life raft she felt sinking. Emma dropped her hands limp to her sides and looked at Regina. Those caramel eyes, however, studied her body, moving up and down and back again.

"Whose blood is this?" She demanded. Streaks and spatters covered the grey shirt and jeans Emma had worn the previous day.

"I fucked up," Emma repeated, the words moved from her mouth by more breath than voice. "I thought I could trust her."

"Come inside," Regina left no room for argument and slipped an arm around her waist. Emma's heavy weight leaned into her – body finally as exhausted as mind. The Savior flung a limp arm around Regina's shoulders, and the mayor held the forearm over her shoulder, squeezing and caressing encouragements with each step.

Regina closed the door with her mind and tightened her body in preparation for dragging Emma's increasing weight up the stairs. "Ruby," she called. The wolf appeared from the kitchen in nothing but socks, red booty shorts, and a thin white tank top. Big chocolate eyes grew round in surprise, but she said nothing as she took Emma's other arm and the brunt of the weight from the elder sister.

"Robin, please make Emma a cup of coffee. Four sugars and cream," Regina instructed as they passed the kitchen entrance where her boyfriend stood observing. He looked as tired as Regina, Emma noted. Had none of them slept the previous night?

Ruby lowered Emma onto the love seat and stepped back. Regina wedged next to her, already pushing Emma's coat from her shoulders. She tossed it over the side of the sofa behind her, the other arm around Emma's shoulders keeping her close. Emma tucked a crown of blonde hair beneath Regina's chin and wrapped arms around her waist. Regina leaned back, allowing the physical contact without hesitation. The softness of compassion and shared anguish tugged Regina's features into a beautiful caricature of helplessness. Her eyes remained closed as instinct instead of observation ruled her actions. Despite the heightened moment, it was the calmest she'd seen her sister all night. Her heart ruled her mind when it came to Emma Swan.

Ruby's eyes grew large again, mouth open as she glanced between her sister and her best friend. "Oh," she exclaimed without meaning to make any sound at all.

"What?" Regina snapped without looking up to her face. Her head stayed tucked against Emma's. One arm wrapped around The Savior's quivering ribs. The other buried in yellow hair.

"Noth'n," Ruby amended quickly, the word barely enunciated in its haste to leave her mouth. "I'll grab a blanket."

She bolted from the room before Regina saw something in her face that she clearly wasn't ready to admit to herself yet. Robin passed her in the foyer, and she spun off balance to grab the cup of coffee, sloshing hot liquid onto her hand and the hardwood. "Got it. Get a blanket," she mumbled. Robin's brow crinkled but he said nothing when Ruby disappeared into the living room with the mug. He shrugged and moved to the closet tucked away near the downstairs bathroom. He flinched when Ruby met him in the foyer again and snagged the blanket from his hands.

"Emma's really upset," she murmured, face flushed. It wasn't a lie, she reasoned with herself. "Can you go tell Belle that we have a situation? I don't want to leave Emma, but it's going to really upset Belle if she walks in on this unprepared. Please?"

"Okay," Robin agreed easily, but the doubt in his eyes ate at her conscience. "Anything else I can do?"

Ruby scratched her forehead. "We really need to tell David and Snow that we found her, but then David would have to come arrest her again. But he's her dad," Ruby concluded with a nod. Robin turned towards the kitchen. "Wait. No, we can't tell him yet." Ruby growled at the indecision. "Hook!" She blurted and startled the man. "Go get Hook. He's probably on his ship. She could use all the support she can get right now, and I know they're close." She chewed her lip; he waited for her to change her mind. "Go get Hook. Thanks, Robin."

"Sweetheart?" Belle called from the bottom of the stairs.

"Got it," Ruby chirped at the woodsman, flustered and busting at the seams. He had a chuckle at her expense as he thumped towards the front door to start his next task.

"Hey, Babe," Ruby greeted and wrapped the shorter woman in a hug with no hesitation. She never needed to decide what to do when it came to Belle. She just knew. She knew like Regina knew how to handle Emma. Shit. This was so messed up. Of course, Regina fell in love with Emma while Emma mourned the death of another lover. Her sister wouldn't have caught a damn break if it slapped her in the face with a sticky hand.

"Everything alright?" Belle asked, looking up at her with clear blue eyes. She'd not been that calm in days.

"Emma came back. She's a little messed up, okay, but I think she's okay," Ruby explained. Belle nodded and took her partner's offered hand.

They entered the scene silently. Belle shifted uncomfortably but held onto the steady strength that Ruby's touch brought her. Now that the wolf's sight had been restored, everything felt less scary. Ruby squeezed her hand once and then released it to spread the blanket over Emma's frigid body. Damn woman wanted to kill herself running about the woods in the frozen Maine winter.

"I fucked up," Emma murmured, voice dry and scratchy now that the tears had ended.

"What happened, Emma?" Ruby asked and sat at the end of the coffee table, close enough to reach Belle's hand and Emma's if she needed her.

The Savior sat up and pushed the blanket from her shoulders. Regina pulled it up and tucked it around her neck as she followed the other woman upright. Emma grinned sadly at her. Regina returned it and curled her hand around Emma's atop The Savior's thigh. Green eyes glanced at each of the faces eagerly awaiting her tale and reached around Ruby for her coffee. Regina fixed the blanket again with her free hand and left it on Emma's shoulder to keep it in place

"I never left Storybrooke," Emma started. The other three reacted but remained silent in their surprise. "I was in the woods. I…" She glanced at Regina's glassy caramel eyes and hung her head. "I was with Zelena."

"Excuse me?" Regina snapped and pulled back slightly to glare at her downturned face.

"Gold didn't kill Zelena like we thought. She's living in the woods in a cabin." Emma shrugged and sipped more coffee, letting it warm her from the inside out. She set it on the floor and pulled another cleansing breath through her nose. "She found me in the woods and kept me prisoner for the first week. But, it wasn't really like that. She was… I don't know." Emma rubbed her eyes with thumb and forefinger.

Regina's hand moved to her knee, comforting despite the tight coil in her shoulders. Emma caught her eyes. The mayor breathed deeply, controlling the anger, putting Emma's needs above her own need to explode. Emma covered the hand on her knee without breaking eye contact and offered a little grin of appreciation to Regina's attentiveness.

"She was nice to me, and she just looked so damn broken," Emma explained with a glance around the room, not really expecting them to understand. "She let me go, but I stayed. It was nice to just live for a little bit, and she got it, ya know. She understood how much pain I was in, and she let me work through some of it without putting any pressure on me."

"What a minute, let me get this straight," Ruby interrupted the sweet tale. The wolf stood and paced near the fire place, thin arms crossed tightly against her stomach. "She let you go, and _you_ decided that instead of returning our texts and phone calls that you'd just… what?" She waved her arms. "Bromance Regina's sister in the woods?"

"Ruby, I needed something, and she gave it to me, okay," Emma countered. Regina stiffened beside her, pulled her hand to her own lap. The Savior opened her mouth to reassure Regina of… of something she couldn't identify.

"If you wanted a bro, why didn't you just ask me to be your bro? I would have shacked up with you for a couple of weeks. Seriously, Zelena, of all people?" Ruby continued, pulling green eyes back to her face.

"Ruby, you are my bro, but this was different," Emma dismissed and turned back to Regina who still refused to meet her eyes.

"No, it's not. I wouldn't disappear for weeks without letting anyone know you were safe. That's a real bromance, not this convoluted…" she flipped her hand, "whatever it was that you were doing."

"Fine, Ruby, we can go to the woods and have a bromance," Emma snapped as she shifted on the loveseat, turning towards Regina, but the former queen had already retreated into her own mind.

"Uhh, there will be no broing of my girlfriend," Belle interjected. Blue eyes flicked between the two, scolding them for the utterly ridiculous and repetitive line of conversation. Ruby snorted, laughing at herself. Emma met her eyes and chuckled, just happy to see her beautiful eyes again.

Regina rubbed her forehead, surprising everyone with the silence. "Please continue, Emma," she requested, quiet and somber in respect for the ordeal Emma endured. Ruby and Belle found it odd, but they only knew a small portion of the whole story. They never knew that Regina had never wanted Zelena to die, that she wanted to help her. Emma recognized the numb glaze in Regina's eyes. She shut it off in order to cope.

The guilt punched Emma in the gut, and she stood, distancing herself from Regina's tender touches. She knew what came next. She understood exactly what sort of pain she would probably cause Regina. Ruby joined Belle on couch and allowed her plenty of space near the mantle. She folded long, lanky arms over her knees. Emma sighed and looked around the room again – the faces of three women who cared for and depended on her. She needed to be better, to do better.

"What happened? Why are you so upset, Emma?" Regina encouraged in the same deadened tone. She folded her hands into her lap, comforting herself where she desired to comfort Emma.

"Better yet, why didn't you tell us this sooner?" Ruby interjected. She directed the question to Emma, but coffee flavored eyes with energy to match kept vigil of her sister's face.

"I…" Emma shook her head lightly. Fresh tears trickled onto her cheeks. "I just… I wanted something," she explained, head bowed against the emotions running rampant. Storming green eyes rose at the center of the storm she created. Regina's chest constricted under that same piercing gaze that Emma had used to disarm her defenses since her return. "I wanted something that was just mine."

"Fuck me," Ruby blurted in breathy disbelief, covering her face with both hands, elbows supporting her weight on both knees.

"What?" Belle asked her partner quietly but kept an eye between the two other women who stared at each other intently.

Red crept up Regina's neck, flowering over her cheeks. Hands clenched into white-knuckled fists that shook with the rage Regina desperately tried to control. She closed her eyes, bowed her head. She took a deep breath, and then another. Caramel eyes flew open as bright as the flush on her cheeks.

"And we're going," Ruby stood and dragged Belle towards the foyer.

"Zelena is the woman you fell in love with in the other timeline," Regina accused, coming to her feet without approaching Emma.

"And we're staying," Ruby reversed their direction. "Who with the what now?"

"She wasn't even there," Emma snapped. Was Regina really that thick?

"Where?" Ruby asked.

"In the other timeline," Regina sniped at her sister, hand flinging invisible vitriol at the interrupting wolf. She whirled back to Emma. "Who was this woman?"

"And we're back to this again," Emma muttered and threw her arms in the air.

"Back to what? Where did you go?"

"To another Storybrooke," Emma explained without looking away from Regina. "Look, she wasn't even there." She took a step towards Regina, hands outstretched. A harsh scowl froze her a few feet away. "It wasn't her okay, it just happened. I wasn't even looking for it, but I was hurting and in pain, and I needed something insane to make me feel normal again."

"You could have come to me!" Regina yelled and threw her arms in the air, put them on her hips, crossed them over her chest.

"Wait," Ruby held up a hand to get their attention as more questions flew through her mind.

"Oh, so you were going to have crazy, insane monkey sex with me?" Emma spouted. Her own anger grew with Regina's.

"Not touching that," Ruby uttered, lowered her hand, and closed her mouth against the next question bubbling.

"It would have been better than what you did. Of all the people in Storybrooke, you chose to find comfort in the arms of Rumpelstiltskin's verdant whore!" Regina stepped into Emma's personal space, lips feral and snarling. "You fucked her all night and came here to me for comfort in the daylight. You knew what you were doing wasn't right, and you couldn't face that in the clear light of morning."

"Right. I did this just to hurt you, Regina," Emma snipped and crossed her arms. "Do you know how ludicrous that sounds? Shouldn't the fact that it happened with Zelena give you a pretty good idea how fucked up my head is right now with two timelines running through it?" The Savior challenged, refusing to back down from the physical intimidation.

"Then why aren't you crying on her shoulder if she's suddenly become so trustworthy?" Her voice dropped thick and deep into the ugly hatred she'd used as a shield when Emma first arrived in Storybrooke, and Emma hated it. It hurt. Regina stepped closer, breasts brushing Emma's folded arms. "Perhaps she does care about you, she cares about everything that could hurt me."

"Don't do that, Regina. You don't get to denigrate what happened because you're pissed. I needed someone," Emma almost backed away, more hurt than mad.

"Why? Why her? Why now? Why after months of refusing our help would you accept hers!" Regina's voice rose hysterically, hands and arms wild in their uncalculated movements.

"I don't have to defend this decision to you, Regina," Emma yelled, pushing irritated fingers through tangled blonde hair as she turned from the pain and anger in those striking caramel eyes. rage clashed with grief, and she whirled again. "I know it's a little weird because of everything she did to us, but she wanted to be different, so I allowed her to be."

"Why her!" Regina screamed and grabbed two handfuls of Emma's shirt.

"Because she didn't let me die!" Emma screamed back and pushed Regina a few steps. "I never left town, I went to the woods to kill myself, and Zelena saved my life. I reached out to her, and she was there when I asked. I don't have to defend what we shared to anybody."

The moment stood still, caught in time, entrapped by the heady anger and grief rolling from both women in tiny explosions. Caramel eyes hardened, softened, hardened again. Emma opened her mouth, closed it. Ruby held Belle's shoulders, found comfort in the hand around her waist. They both glanced between their spatting friends, tears stinging blue and brown eyes in the reality of Emma's confession. Four chests heaved for air, four hearts pounded in fear and guilt and confusion.

Regina's hands found an anchor on her hips, and her head bowed from the confusing gaze Emma offered. "You're right," Regina whispered and raised her head. Emma studied her eyes, surprised by the tears and coldness she found there. "You're right. You don't owe me an explanation." The mayor wrapped protective arms around her chest and left the room with only the soft taps of snow boots on hardwood.

"Fuck," Emma exhaled. She folded her arms on the mantle and buried her face there.

"Emma, I think you do owe Ruby and me an explanation," Belle started hesitantly. "Because something happened that you failed to warn us about, which resulted in Ruby's blindness. I was abducted and mentally tortured, so if you could not scream at me, too, I'd appreciate it." The anger came across clearly, and the librarian held her ground when Emma turned slowly to face them.

Emma sighed deeply and offered an exhausted but pained grin to the two friends who found her in every timeline. "You're gonna want to sit down for this," she started and took her own seat.


	25. Control

Hello again, my pretties! Thank you for your patience while I got my shit together. Had to send in a workshop packet for grad school. Enjoy!

Song: Somebody to Die for by Hurts

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Ruby leaned against the frame that separated kitchen from foyer. Beyond the warmth of frosty panes, a flurry of snow spit and sputtered to life. The light fluff lacked the density to accumulate much. Within foggy glass, a different type of cold pierced her heart beneath warm skin. Regina sat at the small breakfast table near the back door, body stretched but tight with tension. The right thigh pressed down on the left, crossed and still. One arm stretched over deeply expanding ribs, the other elbow propped. The mayor bit the tip of a thumbnail, not really chewing just holding it between front teeth. Regina's eyes glazed and stung, screaming to blink. Still, she stared at the falling snow, flicking her gaze to and fro without acknowledging the things she saw.

Ruby shifted uncomfortably and crossed one arm over her stomach to hold the other elbow. Fury and rage, she knew what to do with that. She'd never seen Regina so still.

"Regina," she called and bit her lip.

The mayor blinked. Caramel eyes closed for a long moment and then opened to stare at the snow again. Ruby pushed from the door frame and took a few steps into the kitchen. Cold from the porcelain tiles seeped through her socks. Espresso eyes studied the silent woman, finding no difficulty envisioning her best friend and her sister as the perfect combination of lover and antagonist. Every little thing Emma revealed the past hour confirmed everything that the wolf's keen eyes already saw. Emma protected Regina because a kiss of True Love might have unleashed those horrible memories from the other timeline, and Regina allowed it because she believed herself undeserving of True Love – Emma's love.

Regina died to send Emma back to this better world. Emma hadn't said it yet, but Ruby fit the pieces together.

"How long have you known about the other timeline?" Ruby asked and stepped into her sister's line of sight.

Regina shook her head in tiny movements without removing her eyes from Ruby's deceptively thin thighs. "Not long. Since the night Emma returned from…" She swallowed, blinked. "Since the night of Belle's abduction." Perfect teeth clamped onto a thumbnail.

"It's no wonder why she's so fucked up. I can't imagine what she's going through right now." Ruby shrugged and crossed her arms. "I get it. The Zelena thing. She wasn't there, so she must feel like an anchor to this reality or something. I don't really know how to describe it, but I get it."

Regina rolled her eyes and shifted in the chair, straightening her spine. She uncrossed her legs only to cross the left over the right a moment later. Ruby chewed her lower lip and watched the seams pop loose within the dark woman. Maybe Emma fucked Zelena to keep Regina away from her – to protect both of them. Emma wanted them to never experience the horrors of the alternate world, and she needed to shield her heart from anything that dented the already thin armor around her sanity.

"Are you okay?" Ruby asked.

Regina stared straight ahead, through her stomach and into the cold world outside. The mayor breathed deeply and dropped the hand in her mouth to her lap. "No," she whispered in a rushed breath, more gasp than word.

"Wanna talk about it?" Ruby nudged the dangling foot with her knee and tried to smile, but it never reached her beautiful brown eyes.

"You cannot tell anyone that we're biologically connected," Regina ordered and finally met Ruby's shocked gaze.

"Why?" The wolf demanded and cocked her hips in defiance.

"The people of Storybrooke may appear to be your friend, but do you think they'd hesitate one moment before persecuting you as the reason Snow White fell? The Evil Queen's little sister infiltrated The White Kingdom and tipped the scales in her family's favor," Regina painted the picture as she knew it would have unfolded. A snarl tugged her upper lip, and venom burned the words as they filled the space between them.

"The war's over, Regina. People need to grow up," Ruby snapped back.

"Look around, little wolf. The stability of our world has been compromised, and if you think for one moment that these people you protected so valiantly will remain as loyal as you, then you are more naïve and ignorant than I'd ever imagined and have no place in the war that is beginning." Regina stood, pressing nose to chin with the taller woman. Hot breath puffed against the wolf's face, bringing with it the bitterness of black coffee and the salt of tears.

"Stop," Ruby growled. "I'm not a punching bag."

"I'm not saying this to hurt you, Ruby," Regina said, eyebrows raised in disbelief. "You've already been beaten and blinded. What will happen when your lineage surfaces and the entirety of Storybrooke turns their backs on you?"

"Okay," Ruby murmured and bit her lip. Regina tapped her teeth, and the wolf managed a grin.

The mayor returned it and tapped across the kitchen to refill the cold mug of coffee with fresh. Ruby chewed her lip and watched. Regina had no clue what she felt for Emma. If she knew, she'd have moved heaven and hell in the fight to preserve that love. The mayor raised an eyebrow over the black mug against her mouth. Ruby clamped her mouth shut, teeth as far from her lower lip as possible.

"I'm glad Emma and Zelena are friends," she blurted before her brain gained control of her mouth. Regina almost spit coffee. Ruby snickered and continued, "Think about it. If Zelena ever got her magic back, she would have killed all of us in our sleep, and no one would have ever seen it coming. Now, she might be on our side because Emma is Emma, and there is no way Zelena didn't open up to her a little bit."

A buzzing sound followed the explanation, and Regina touched her phone rattling against the counter and sipped more coffee, lowered the mug to marble. David's number lit up the screen. "I suppose," she responded to Ruby and sent the call to voicemail.

"Are you okay with, ya know… I mean, I know you're not okay with it, but if Emma believes that Zelena saved her life, we really should try to respect that." Ruby chewed her lip, waited for the backlash. It never came. Regina stared into the steam wafting from the black mug filling her palm.

"Emma tried to tell me," she said to the mug. With a deep exhalation, she raised her eyes to find dark chocolate waiting, patient and compassionate. "The day she left, Emma wanted me to ask her to stay. It made no sense at the time, but she also said that being asked to stay wouldn't mean anything if anyone else had asked her to stay. I don't believe all life has inherent value like the rest of you sentimental fools."

Ruby reached across the counter and touched her forearm. "Regina, it wasn't fair to put that on you, and if Emma had, you know, it wouldn't have been your fault. With everything Emma's dealing with right now, I'm not sure anyone could have helped her. She needed to find a reason to keep going by herself. It's not on you, okay?"

"Stop," Regina snapped. "It wasn't you she wanted to help her, Ruby. She came to me, she opened up about this mystery woman to me. She reached out to me, and I did what I always do. I pushed her away because…" The mayor pulled her hand from Ruby's warm touch and hugged her chest protectively.

"Because what?" The wolf pressed.

"It doesn't matter," Regina dismissed the conversation and stomped to the sink with the full mug.

"Yes, it does," Ruby protested over the spray of water against metal and porcelain. "Regina, it matters. You pulled away because?" The mayor scrubbed the mug, finished and repeated the process. "Because you were afraid to care? Because you're afraid that you care about Emma? You're afraid that Emma would get violent again? What? Talk to me."

"I was afraid that I wouldn't be able to help her," Regina lashed. Porcelain shattered where she smashed it against metal. "I've done nothing but leave destruction and agony upon everything I've touched in two lifetimes. I refuse to destroy the mother of my son." She whirled, wet hands limply at her sides. Droplets shook loose from fingertips and dripped onto gray slacks and white porcelain – a replacement for tears shimmering in caramel eyes.

"I'm not sure I'm capable of love anymore. I can't even tolerate looking at the man who was marked as my soulmate. If my heart cannot even soften for him, what right do I have trying to save the soul of the woman who literally wields the power of True Love?"

Ruby's forehead scrunched into a tight bundle. "You didn't feel worthy of comforting Emma even though you're the one she wanted?" Hot splashes tickled her cheeks. She cried for the woman who refused to cry for herself. "You really have no fucking clue, do you?"

"Excuse me?" Regina crossed her arms, leaving wet splotches along her biceps.

"Ruby, Regina?" Belle called from the doorway. "I'm sorry to interrupt, but David's called." She glanced between the two and held the phone in front of her. "Emma's at the station."

"What? When did she leave?" Ruby snapped and grabbed the phone.

"I don't know. I went upstairs to change a few minutes ago," Belle explained, growing more visibly upset with each word. "David needs Regina. Emma's magic is out of control."

"Damn it," Regina muttered and disappeared in a swirl of violet smoke.

She reappeared outside the front doors of the station and immediately wished she'd thought to bring a coat. The roar of a crowd behind her pulled her gaze to the plaza. Emma stood atop the patrol car, wild blonde hair flying in the harsh wind, dried blood still covering the front of her.

"Rumpelstiltskin is plotting against you all!" Emma yelled at the deafening cacophony.

A safety light exploded behind her. Some people screamed and ducked. Others quieted and cowered. Most yelled at the sheriff about the use of her magic. Sparks showered the crowd as a transformer blew above their heads. Storefronts went dark, and more people joined the riot, pulling on coats and hats angrily, to complain about their loss of business. Regina pushed through the rabble, shoving backs and shoulders from her path. An enthusiastic man shook his fist in the air and caught the point on her shoulder when it lowered. With a snarl, she sent a pulse of electric shock between his legs. He yipped in shock, and she shoved him out of the way.

"What the hell are you doing, Sheriff Swan?" Regina demanded as she broke from the mob and marched towards the cruiser.

"They won't listen to me," Emma shouted in response to the question but wanting the crowd to hear the desperation. "Regina, I keep telling them what's happening, and no one will listen to me!"

Regina slammed her hands on the hood of the car and glared up at her. "Perhaps they may hear you if you stop scaring everyone with magic. Come down from there."

David, Hook, and Robin shifted in her peripheral, and Regina released a shaking breath. If they controlled the crowd, she needn't have watched her back. She reached for Emma's hand, offering her the lifeline previously denied. The Savior looked at it, stupefied. Tears and snot streamed down her cheeks and lips. Red splotches of emotion and cold bloomed on her cheeks, around her eyes. Tangle blonde hair whipped and frayed in the wind. A wildness glittered in wide, green eyes. It pivoted one way and then the other, afraid to reach out and touch the reality of their world.

Emma wasn't capable of reaching anymore, only running, and Regina followed.

"Emma, come down," she tried again and stretched her hand a little closer. The crowd quieted, holding a collective breath.

"They won't listen," The Savior repeated, broken and quiet. "Why won't they listen? I'm trying to save them. I'm always trying to save them, and they won't listen."

"They don't understand, Emma," Regina explained softly. "I understand. I'm listening. Come down and talk to me so I can make them understand."

Emma pressed heels into her temples. Her head leaned one way, then the other. Snot gurgled when she sniffed and tried to catch a breath. Regina waited, her presence enough to create a cocoon of patience and understanding and silence. The mob waited, too. Twice in as many days, they watched the former queen choose compassion over judgement, patience over anger. Her heart slipped onto her sleeve, and Emma Swan shone brightly in eyes once hateful and dead.

"I fucked up, Regina," Emma whimpered. One knee at a time, she knelt on the hood of the cruiser, almost eye level with the mayor. "I trusted her. We can't trust her. She's working with him."

She grabbed Regina's hand, pulled her close. The mayor grunted and groped at the excess magic surging around her hand, channeling it into the earth before Emma blew up a building. Warmth wept into her chest in gentle trickles, vibrating in her legs and fingertips. She imagined feeling such compassion every waking second to be more of a curse than a blessing. All magic came with a price, and Emma paid hers by never really shielding herself from the pain and horror of their world. She had to feel it in order to love the abused and disadvantaged – to feel everything and know that no one came to put the pieces back together once she'd defeated the enemies knocking upon their door once more.

The Savior continued in a rushed whisper meant for her, "She gave me the antidote to fix Ruby's eyes. She knew exactly what to do because she's been mixing herbs and living off the land. She made the powder that burned Ruby's eyes. For all I know, she's the one who attacked her. She probably used it to get Ruby at a disadvantage, and she's strong. She could have kidnapped Belle. If she can drag me around, she can drag Belle around."

"Emma," Regina growled. "Unless you intend to tell everyone what you're babbling about, do shut up."

"They won't listen to me," Emma cried again. Her chin fell against her chest as another shoulder-shaking sob tore loose from her throat. "They won't listen."

"Emma, listen to me. You need to go inside with David," Regina whispered and cupped Emma's cheek. "You need to go inside so we can help you."

Green eyes whipped about, a frenzied energy in them. They stared at the world meant to love her and saw terror of her own making, her own self-built prison. Emma scrambled to her feet, boots slipping on wet metal. Regina tried to hold onto her hand, raising from the ground slightly before losing her grip. Static crackled in the air. Snow melted in an expanding circle around the cruiser. Clear replaced white, puddling the plaza. People screamed and trampled away from the spreading power controlled by no one.

"You want to take my magic!" Emma screamed into the crowd. "You want to make me powerless, so he can take over. He'll kill all of you if you take my magic. I won't let you!" Cement exploded shrapnel into the crowd, blowing a hole in the middle of Town Hall Plaza.

"Emma, stop," Regina yelled. "Let me help you, Emma."

"You're the worst one," The Savior pointed an accusing finger down at her. "You want my magic gone most of all. You trapped it. You trapped me. You kept me prisoner and trapped my magic."

"Emma, please," Regina begged and reached for her again. "Stay, Emma," she whispered.

The Savior froze. White streams of air moved around her, the only inert thing except the frenzy in green eyes. Regina lifted one knee onto the cruiser and crawled up the slippery metal heated by Emma's raging power. Regina stood on wobbling legs on the uneven surface and searched for the woman beneath the pain and anger. Breath heaved in and out of Emma's open mouth.

"Stay with me," Regina pleaded and blinked away tears trying to mirror Emma's. Glassy caramel flicked back and forth, searching for the woman beneath the frenetic energy in turbulent green eyes. "Stay with me, Emma."

"Oh, how touching," a familiar, condescending voice called through the sudden stillness.

Emma's eyes grew large with clarity as her gaze shifted from Regina's and over her shoulder. Regina turned slowly, footing unsure on the slick hood. Zelena stood a few feet from them. Green velvet gloves covered the hands on the hips of a black dress corset that laced up the front and split into a sharp 'V' between modest breasts. A black, wide-brimmed hat cocked to the side atop the tight, red bun at the back of her head. An acrimonious smirk brushed over bright red lips.

"Hello, Sis," she greeted Regina. "Next time you let your rabid dog off her leash, give her an extra treat to ensure she actually eliminates her target. I'm not so easily killed, as you can see." She swept her arms in a graceful arc and leaned to one side, posing for the disbelief of the crowd.

"How?" Emma sputtered and took a step forward, shoulder pressing against Regina's. "I killed you."

"Not very well," Zelena laughed and returned hands to her hips. "You're superpower appears to be on the fritz, Savior. You can't detect a single lie, and you certainly can't kill a witch who has no heart." She hit the _t_ at the end of heart sharply and ran the tip of her tongue along the point of the left canine. "I learned that from you," she praised Regina mockingly.

"Is that why you were so upset this morning? You thought you'd killed the orphaned trash too pathetic to have the dignity of dying as an infant?" Regina riled Zelena, drawing her attention from Emma who had started crying again.

She hopped from the car, melted snow splashing over the toes of her boots and up the legs of gray slacks. Emma knelt behind her, blotchy eyes glaring at Zelena over the protection of Regina's shoulder. Zelena held out one palm, and the tickle of Emma's magic excited the hairs on the back of Regina's neck as a fireball appeared above Zelena hand. She cocked a thin, red eyebrow and grinned maniacally.

"It seems I've mastered magic without my pendant. Care to compare my rage to yours, dear sister?" Zelena taunted the mayor, baiting her. "It's much more powerful than envy, don't you think?"

Regina raised a fireball of her own, comforted by the gentle wash of Emma's magic upon her back, protecting her against the low temperature. Emma tucked and rolled from the car, instantly soaked in freezing water, a moment before the fireball exploded on the hood. The sister witches ducked the respective attacks. Emma remained on her belly and waved a hand in the air, catching Zelena off guard in a flash of white. She flew through the air but landed safely on a pile of plowed snow, slightly disoriented.

Regina followed her with a fireball. Without watching its trajectory, she grabbed Emma's forearm and pulled her out of the puddle. Zelena threw her weight forward and rolled down the bank. Smears of white slush marked the rumpled black dress. Emerald green eyes stared at the pair stronger than she when they worked together. Regina devoured the flash of fear and tugged at Emma's magic, surprised to find nothing there for her to combine with her own. The Savior held the power closely to her soul, entrapping it from use by either of them.

"This isn't over," Zelena declared and tossed a pouch into the air. It exploded green haze across the plaza, obscuring visibility to only a foot in any direction.

"Damn it," Regina swore as Emma's magic replenished and tickled her palm. She dragged Emma through the slush and puddles, but by the time they saw the snow bank, Zelena had disappeared.

"I told you I fucked up," Emma whispered.

"Swan!" Hook's concern cut through the smoke. He appeared from the thick green, jogging. "Alright, Love?" He asked before stopping in front of them.

Robin emerged a moment later and squeezed Regina's shoulder. The mayor shrugged him off and turned to Emma. "We need to go now," she rushed, panic shivering in her voice. "I didn't erect the barrier spell around the house."

The four of them materialized in the foyer. Ruby laid unconscious on her side. Pieces of a shattered glass she must have been carrying stared up at them from a puddle of cranberry juice. Regina knelt by her sister and touched her neck. The tension drained from their shoulders and told them all they needed to know without words. Regina found a pulse.

"Only Ruby drinks that. She has a glass after her coffee every morning," Regina seethed. "They targeted her. Belle!" She called towards the balcony where Robin and Hook already sprinted.

"Regina," Emma murmured and squatted on the other side of the wolf. "How did they know Ruby always drank that?"

Caramel eyes met stormy green in clarity and fear. "He controls someone. Who did he enslave in the other timeline?"

Emma spared a glance at the men returning to the bottom floor. "I don't know," she lied. "He controlled so many by the end. I don't know."


	26. Heavy

Here ye be, lovelies! I'm seriously in love with Zelena. Definitely need to do more fics with her in them.

Song: No Light, No Light by Florence and the Machine and Heaven's Doors by Scarlett Grace (Awesome Canadian artist I just discovered, so you should go check her out!)

* * *

"What the hell do you think you're doing?" Rumpelstiltskin asked the moment the cabin door opened.

Zelena stepped inside, still garnished in the lavish if wet clothes. The man glared at her from the table where he sat, relaxed outwardly with a hand on his cane and the other braced at the edge of the table. Inside, barely contained wrath swirled in his dark eyes. She smirked and closed the door, unhurried by his anger. He watched, face flushing more with each passing second. Plucking each finger deliberately, Zelena removed the velvet gloves and tapped her chin with the tips as she awaited the punishment to come.

"More to the point, how are you doing it?" He corrected.

Zelena tapped her chin one more time and tossed the gloves onto the table. "I've regained my magic." She leaned both hands on the table, predatory and baiting. "You may keep my pendant. It's merely a souvenir of our wasted years."

Gold struck out. A high-pitched yelp slipped past the hand on her throat, more moan of pleasure than whimper of pain. She exhaled slowly through her mouth and gave him an open-mouthed smirk. Her breath caressed his lips and nose. He froze, paralyzed by his need of her, and she chuckled. With two fingers, she touched the inside of his wrist and pushed his hand away, unconcerned, and brushed past him to set the kettle over the fire.

"Where's Belle?" He demanded.

Zelena pursed her lips over her shoulder. "I killed her," she said with an indifferent shrug and turned back to the kettle.

"What?" His deep, controlled voice slithered into her soul, sucking the life from every molecule of air in her lungs.

Zelena ignored The Dark One and moved to the herb shelf. She shook her favorite mixture into the mug and kept her spine straight. The entirety of her flesh crawled from the oppressive energy emanating from him. She turned, not surprised to find maniacal eyes an inch from hers. Smirking, Zelena bumped his chest with her shoulder and returned to the kettle. He followed, silent, calculated.

"I was under the impression you'd run out of people you love," she taunted him. He raised his cane, and Zelena held up a finger, clicking her tongue twice. "Careful, wouldn't want me to lose my memory of the portal spell, would we?" Her hand splayed over his chest, fingers slipping beneath the lapel of his jacket. "Your insipid little princess can't help you anymore. I believe that makes us partners…" she grinned, a broad, ugly maniacal thing, "… Dearie."

Shoving him backwards, she waved a hand over her head and presented her back. "Get the hell out of my home. Come to me when you're ready to begin the next stage of our little debacle. Do knock next time."

Gold tapped his cane on the warped wooden floor, and her head turned slowly over her shoulder. "If you think for one moment, I will allow you…"

"Allow me what?" Zelena challenged. "This, Dark One, is how it must be. If you hurt me, threaten me, exclude me, or betray me, you'll have no time portal. I came crawling back to you after The Savior took it upon herself to recreate the wounds you inflicted after healing me. The darkest and lightest sources of magic in perhaps any realm have both betrayed me. From this moment, I serve only myself. You are merely a means to an end, nothing more."

Rumpelstiltskin flipped wavy brown hair from his eyes and sneered, flashing a gold tooth in the flickering fire light. "I'm going to need a bit more than your word, _Dearie_."

"I suppose you'll simply have to trust that my hunger to leave this frozen hell is stronger than my thirst for vengeance," Zelena said, bored as she poured hot water into the mug.

He snorted, a grin tugging at his lips. "You never sought vengeance."

Emerald eyes raised slowly beneath a downturned face. "I suppose, you've found your answer, then."

"You were supposed to be my secret weapon, emphasis on secret," he snapped.

Zelena shrugged. "The Savior couldn't be trusted any longer. She would have told them about me. Better to make a grand entrance than skulk about in shadows, don't you think?"

"And whose fault is it she was in a position to tell anyone?" He accused.

She tsked and waggled a finger in the air. "Goodbye," she chirped and primly lowered herself into the chair he'd vacated. He stared, she sipped tea and returned it.

"Did you honestly believe The Savior would risk the comfort of her world to love you?"

Emerald eyes closed, opened slowly, unmoved by the ugliness of his question. "I think I may have forgotten a word of the incantation. Incredible the effects of stress on the memory. Isn't it?"

"You're dancing on thin ice," Gold warned her and disappeared in a swirl of dark gray smoke.

Zelena rolled her eyes and unpinned the hat scratching her head. With a little finagling, she unclasped the dress bodice and pushed it over her shoulders. She sucked deep cleansing breaths previously denied by the dress' tightness. Cool, soft buckskin replaced crinoline and lace. She slipped a knife into the waist and pulled on the coat with dried blood. Leaving the lavish dress over the chair, she glanced around the cabin fondly a long moment before setting to work. She rolled the mattress padding into a tight bundle and tied it off with twine. She stuffed blankets and herbs into the large black knapsack, taking necessities of survival. She attached the bedroll to the strap. She took the kettle outside and sat it in the snow to cool. While she waited, Zelena lifted the loose floorboard and lifted the items one-by-one, displaying them on the hearth – Belle's journal, a few letters she'd written with no one in mind to receive them, a few drawings she'd done in charcoal, and an old rusting baby rattle.

She tucked the letters and sketches into the journal carefully and then added it and the rattle to the knapsack. The drawstrings sounded much louder in the stillness, startling her. Zelena retrieved the cold kettle and attached it to the bedroll with some twine. The strap settled across her chest and shoulder, pulling her thin body to one side slightly. She hefted the burden into a more comfortable position and released a deep silent breath as she looped the quiver of arrows in an 'X' over her chest and squeezed the bow tightly. Without looking back, she left the fire to die in the home and walked into the setting sun.

She followed purple and orange, climbing higher and higher until pink clouds grazed her fingertips at the top of the treacherous ridge. Snow and ice slipped, taking her knees to the simultaneously soft and hard ground. Digging in the bow, the witch ascended the steep mountain, pressing her back to trees to comfortably catch her breath in the thinner air. No one without magic or unskilled in wood travel could have followed her. At last she reached a rope she'd attached weeks prior to the top of the mountain and guided her body up the remaining slope. She pushed on instead of stopping when she reached the top, racing the coming night. Footsteps heavy with the weight of the life on her back followed the ridge where only the toughest of conifers still stood strong in the dense, frozen wind of the Maine weather. Flecks of ice tore into her cheeks and nose in harsh gust that pushed against her body, slowing the strong muscles fighting the elements.

Darkness descended upon the mountain top, followed by twinkling stars and a waning moon. She turned right on the path and carefully picked a trail down the opposite side of the mountain until she came to a small tunnel opening that barely fit her load and required her to hunch uncomfortably. She clicked on a small flashlight and worked her way over the stone and frozen mud towards the barely there light at the end of the tunnel. Her back screamed and sweat beaded at her temples by the time she arrived in the large cavern at the end of the obscured opening. She dropped the quiver and knapsack unceremoniously and moaned into stretching muscles.

Along the wall, supplies that she'd spent months collecting in the event such as the one she'd currently found herself comforted her. She found a long grill lighter and tore it free from the cardboard and plastic packaging. The fire pit she'd prepared a few weeks ago waited for the strike of a flame. The dry tinder lit easily, and she added more until the glow of orange danced around the cave.

Finally, finally, she spared a glance at the glassy blue eyes staring at her from the far wall of the cave. Without words, she stood and pulled the knife from her pants. Belle shifted and squirmed, but the twine binding her legs and hands prevented much movement. Zelena grabbed her arm and slid the knife into the binding. Belle lashed out, nicking her thumb and Zelena's palm with the blade.

"Stop it!" Zelena grabbed her shoulders and shook her hard. The librarian's head snapped back, and she whimpered around the gag in her mouth but refrained from screaming or fighting against the strong fingers digging into her arms. "I'm not going to hurt you," Zelena added, softer.

Blue and green met in quiet understanding, and Zelena waited until the muscles beneath her hands eased. Belle nodded, and the witch picked up the knife. "I'm freeing your hands," she explained and slipped the knife under the twine again. Belle pulled the piece of fabric from her mouth when Zelena moved to her legs. Blue eyes watched the witch cut her free, and she rubbed her wrists absently, confused.

"Don't put me there again," she begged.

"I never put you there in the first place," Zelena muttered and left Belle to clear the pieces of slashed twine from her body. "I left the lantern in case you woke before I returned," she added and turned off the kerosene-fueled light.

"Thank you," Belle managed around the sob threatening to spew over her tongue. She shivered and rubbed her arms for warmth.

Zelena grabbed a blanket from the stockpile of items and tossed it to her before filling the kettle from a jug of water along the wall. She set it on a flat stone almost in the fire. Belle wrapped the blanket around her shoulders and watched the witch move around the cave. She opened a can of something and tore off the label before adding it to the flat stone. She glanced around the cavern, taking stock. A huge wall opposite Belle had a massive stack, several rows deep, of split firewood. To her right, stacks of bottled water, canned food, blankets, candles, jugs of kerosene, and other food items like potato chips that felt more like a splurge than a necessity lined another wall.

"Where did all of this stuff come from?" Belle asked, curiosity stronger than fear. It looked like the bunker of a doomsday prepper than an isolated cave in the Maine mountains. "It must have taken weeks to gather all of this."

"It did," Zelena answered, distant in her own mind. The witch glanced over at the scared woman who wiped snot and tears on the back of her hand. Belle looked calmer the more she spoke. Zelena sighed in frustration. "The night stock person at the grocery store smokes. He leaves the backdoor propped and goes around the corner of the store. I wait for him to come out and then hide in the stockroom until he takes a pallet into the store."

"Crafty," Belle murmured and glanced around again.

"Would you like some tea?" Zelena offered and groped through the supplies until she found a reusable thermos. She added the blend from her bag as the kettle began whistling.

Belle jerked at the loud noise and covered her ears. Zelena ground her teeth and pulled on a leather work glove before grabbing the kettle. As the screaming faded, Belle slowly lowered her hands, not bothering them the indignity of pretending the sensory deprivation room hadn't damaged her. Zelena handed her the tea, relieved when she took it without fuss, and returned to the supply pile. She moved a couple things around until she found a bag of cheap, plastic cutlery and tore it open. With the gloved hand, she picked up the soup and took it to Belle, setting it on the floor a foot or so from Belle's grasp. She removed the glove and left it beside the can, stuck the spoon into the soup.

"It's chicken noodle," she explained. "I suppose I might have asked if you liked it," Zelena backpedaled, unsure how to engage with the other woman.

"It's fine," Belle assured her quickly and reached for the glove as Zelena backed from her hand.

"This is your line," Zelena said and pointed to a divot carved into the stone floor. "I've set a barrier spell with your hair. You cannot cross it, and you cannot be found through magical means. It would be quite a painful experience should you touch it, so I advise against such foolishness."

"Ruby will find me. She'll follow my scent," Belle reminded her, proud that she'd found the upper hand.

A knot of dread tighten in her belly when Zelena smirked at the statement, reprimanding the thought condescendingly without saying a word. She turned away, and Belle breathed again. She studied the witch carefully from the other side of the line. She'd marked the area clearly and gave it a wide enough birth to reach the warmth of the fire a few inched from it. Zelena wandered back to the knapsack, uninterested in her assessment and pulled out a few items before emptying the sack of blankets. The first few items returned to the bag's obscurity and was tucked away in a corner. Zelena disappeared down the tunnel, just far enough to feel alone but close enough to find her way in the flickering fire light.

She leaned against the wall for a moment and then gave her weight to it as the reality of her world crashed upon thin shoulders. When her butt landed on soft clay, Zelena hugged her shins and buried her face in buckskin as silent tears streamed down cold cheeks.


	27. Codes of Conduct

Here ye be, lovelies.

Song: Believe in Me by Bonnie Tyler

* * *

"Damn it!" Regina swore and slung a beaker against the back door. Glass shattered against glass, leaving streaks of green to ooze and drip between shards plastered to the door.

Robin stood from the breakfast nook and moved from the line of fire. Regina eyed him coldly, and he raised his hands in placation before slipping from the room. He and Emma bumped into each other at the door. The Savior shifted, guilty, and mumbled an apology. This Robin hadn't done anything wrong, but they'd checked his heart like a common criminal. Regina guarded her heart against misuse and Emma's magic naturally protected hers, which left his as the only logical choice for betrayal. Regina came to the conclusion of her own accord and demanded his submission, and Emma realized for the millionth time if someone stayed at Regina's side after the way she treated the man, he must have really loved her. It hit her with a double whammy of guilt. He never responded to the apology and thumped quietly into the living room to take over Ruby watch.

"How's the tracking potion coming?" She asked and set her hands on the end of the island.

"It has to simmer for a few hours until it turns blue," Regina explained, staring at the bubbling black liquid.

"Sooo, you're just throwing shit to throw it?" Emma pressed with a little grin. "Want me to conjure a life-sized cut out of Gold, so you have something to aim at?"

Regina raised sardonic eyes at the ridiculous suggestion and scowled. Emma rounded the island and pressed her shoulder into Regina's. "Teach me something. Get your mind off of Belle," she said.

"Sorry, I'm fresh out of bridges to destroy," Regina snapped.

"Come on, I need to learn this stuff eventually. What's this?" Emma grabbed a clear canister of white multi-sized crystals and gave it a lavish shake like a maraca.

"That," Regina snagged the bottle from her hand and set it gently on the counter, "will explode under pressure."

"See? Already saving me from harm," Emma chirped, perkier than any person had the right be. Her genes rearing their optimistic heads.

"I doubt you can be saved from stupidity," Regina snarked and stirred the potion.

"Come on, just talk to me. Why are you throwing stuff?" Emma tried again and squeezed her shoulder.

"I failed her," Regina confessed, dark and raspy in the harrowing truth of the statement. She cared. Against all odds, she cared about what happened to Belle beyond her connection to Ruby. "Even a year ago, it would have made more sense to keep her prisoner in order to protect her rather than leave her vulnerable and free."

"Being the hero is hard," Emma murmured and touched her shoulder, turning a bit to face her. "There are rules of conduct and rules of combat and rules of love, not to mention the enemy to worry about."

"Ruby should have woken by now. Her unique physiology should have metabolized the sedative," Regina blurted each thought as it came to mind. Tears stung the back of her throat, and she raised her eyes to the ceiling, keeping them at bay.

"Hey," The Savior whispered and rubbed her back, up and down between shoulder blades. "Ruby and Belle are going to be okay. They're stronger than you think. And I'm definitely stronger than you think," Emma added with a cheeky tone.

Regina smiled through a wet breath. Emma's hug came unexpectedly, but she welcomed the strong, calloused hand on the back of her neck, the firm arm around her ribs. She wrapped her own around Emma's waist, one fist pulling at the thin shirt over stout, contoured muscles. Emma lifted her chin, and Regina tucked her face into The Savior's neck. Safe now, a few tears slipped out and soaked into the soft fabric beneath her cheek. She inhaled the scent of strawberry shampoo and vanilla lotion and closed her eyes as Emma filled all of her sensory stimulation.

Emma pushed her nose into silky black hair, eyes shut tightly against the sight of Regina against her. That familiar pang of grief grabbed at her chest, stuttering breath as she released it against Regina's cheek. The citrus undertones of expensive perfume slipped into her nostrils, and the grief receded with each breath. This wasn't The Queen. The woman in her arms lived a completely different life, felt in different ways, and found her way through the darkness without the crutch of another person. Regina needed support and loyalty and friendship, but Emma felt relieved that the Regina in her arms needed no person to heal her, not anymore.

"Was it Ruby?" Regina asked, voice wet and heavy with tears. "The woman," she clarified.

Emma smiled, snorted a little puff into Regina's ear. The shorter woman shivered, and Emma rearranged her grip, hugging her tighter, pushing long fingers into black hair at the base of her scalp. "No," she whispered. "What makes you think that?"

Regina readjusted her cheek. "I reacted very badly when you told me about Zelena."

Emma inhaled Regina's scent and sighed against her cheek. "It wasn't Ruby. She's my best friend, but it's always been Belle for her, in both timelines."

"It was me, wasn't it?" Emma startled, and Regina pulled back to meet wild green eyes. "You said I trapped you. In the other timeline, I held you captive, didn't I?" Caramel eyes lowered to the covered stomach. A hand slipped between them and touched the hidden scars, the other still pressing into Emma's back. "I tortured you."

Emma breathed out the tension, relaxed that the truth of her love remained oblivious to the dark woman in her arms. Regina's eyes traveled slowly up her body until they met green once more. "It doesn't matter, Regina. It wasn't you."

"I'm so sorry, Emma," she gushed. Emma held her shoulders and waist when she tried to pull away, and Regina pushed against hers.

"I know exactly what I am capable of," Regina protested. "I don't deserve your compassion."

"Regina." Emma shook her roughly and tugged her back into a hug. "It wasn't you," she whispered into her ear. Regina stopped struggling, but her muscles remained coiled, ready to bolt. "She wasn't you," Emma repeated and touched the back of her head. "I need you to understand that, okay. She was not you."

"I'm sorry," Regina whined and buried her face in Emma's neck again. "I'm so sorry."

"You don't need to apologize. You didn't do this to me, okay?" Emma wrapped her up, pressed a kiss to her temple. It felt so normal to hold her, touch her, comfort her. The Savior's heart reached for Regina's, sparking a white glow upon the mayor's neck where Emma's hand massaged tense muscles.

Warmth vibrated into the dark woman's heart and soul, soothing the burn of guilt for sins she'd not committed. "Emma." Regina lifted her head again but made no move to disengage from the warm embrace.

Green eyes danced back and forth against her own, reflecting a shimmer of white. The Savior remained in control despite the heightened emotions her magic refused to hide. It reached for Regina's lightness and soothed the darkness. The Savior tucked dark hair behind her ear, trailing fingertips over her cheek. Regina's eyes fluttered, her chest rose.

"Feel better? I wasn't sure my magic would work to calm you down," she admitted and cupped Regina cheek.

The mayor nodded, eyes closed lightly. Emma brushed a thumb over her cheekbone, followed the contour of her eye. "She wasn't you," The Savior breathed, barely filling the space between them with sound. Green eyes flicked to dark red lips, already tasting the tart lipstick on her tongue. Her chest met Regina's shallow breaths rapidly pressing their breasts together in a frantic push and shove of their hearts' attempts to touch the other. Brushing a thumb over Regina's cheek in long smooth strokes, Emma licked her lips and lowered her mouth.

"Emma," Robin called from the foyer.

The Savior sprang from the other woman and turned her back, shaking hand braced against the island. "What?" She called over her shoulder. Her heart couldn't bear the sight of Regina.

"Ruby's awake," the man continued as he stepped into the kitchen. He glanced between the women, forehead crinkling from the obvious tension snapping crackling bands of static around the room. "Everything okay?"

Emma spared a glance at Regina who had clasped either arm, not quite crossing them but comforting herself. "Yeah," The Savior's voice squeaked in a high pitch. She cleared her throat. "Yeah, we're good. If she got dosed with the same stuff I did, her stomach is doing gymnastics right now. Get a trash can just in case. I'll make some tea."

She moved to the stove and shook the kettle, finding it almost full. She glanced over her shoulder to find Robin studying Regina's downturned eyes and distant demeanor. "Robin, please," Emma pleaded. A muscle in his jaw jumped, but he followed her orders despite the slight anger in his eyes. She couldn't have blamed him if he'd yelled.

"You should talk to him," Emma encouraged the mayor.

"I haven't a clue what to say. He's forgiven and tolerated more than I have a right to ask of him." Regina turned slightly and met Emma's eyes.

"Just talk to him, Regina," Emma's heart broke a little, and she turned back to the kettle. She leaned hands wide on the stove to hide the trembling. Another second and she'd have found out for certain if the other timeline still existed or not. She didn't want to know, she needed to know.

The mayor released a breath and left the kitchen with only soft taps of flat leather boots, ignorant to Emma's struggle. Glazed brown eyes blinked up at her from the sofa, the confusion and disorientation evident. Regina sat beside her hip and took her hand, offering a tight smile that Ruby returned.

"What happened?" She rasped and pinched the bridge of her nose like her own voice echoed in her mind too loudly.

"We suspect that someone put a sedative in your juice," Regina explained.

"It must have done a hell of a number on me," Ruby grumbled. "I can't even smell you."

She grabbed the back of the sofa and sat up slowly. Regina steadied her shoulders when she wobbled to the side. Skin paled on the wolf's youthful face. Ruby held her stomach and groaned. Emma appeared with a mug of steaming liquid and touched Regina's shoulder. The mayor vacated the seat, and Emma eased herself beside her best friend. Jaw muscles jumped and strained on Emma's cheeks. Breaths came in shallow gasps, sweat beaded on a blonde hairline. Regina almost asked if she was alright, but Emma calmed a moment later and extended the mug.

"It's mint water. If it's the same stuff Zelena gave me, it will help," she explained. Ruby nodded and sipped gingerly. "Do your legs feel weak?"

"All of me feels weak," Ruby grouched. She lowered her nose into the mug and inhaled. "This isn't mint." She sniffed again. "What is it?"

"It's hot mint water," Emma assured her, forehead scrunched in concern. "It smells like mint." Regina leaned forward and sniffed the steam, nodding in confirmation.

"Something's not right, Emma. I can't…" Ruby sniffed the drink again. "I can't smell anything."

"What do you mean you can't smell anything?" Regina demanded and punched a hand to her hip.

Ruby squinted at Emma and then the foyer and shifted panicked brown eyes around the room. "Is it always so dark in here?"

"Rubes, you got a cocktail of sedative, probably more than you needed to make sure it knocked you out. You're just disoriented," Emma soothed the panic before it lashed out.

Ruby swung her feet over the edge of the couch, dislodging Emma in her haste. Water splashed onto her hand, leaving a red blossom, and over the coffee table where she sat it. Ruby stomped to Robin and wrapped her arms around his waist. His hands hovered just above her shoulders, and he looked at the other two women for guidance. Ruby jerked against him, growling in frustration. The wolf spun wildly and grabbed Emma the same way, succeeding in lifting her from the floor only an inch before her back collapsed.

"It's gone!" She yelled, frantic.

"What's gone?" Regina asked, grabbing Ruby's hands before the younger sister tried to heft her off the floor, too.

The girl's chest heaved up and down, too quickly to catch a breath for words. "Ruby?" Regina tried again.

"My wolf!" she exploded and struggled against Regina's grip. The sorceress held onto her arms, matched without the preternatural strength of the moon. "My wolf is gone. I can't even smell the mint from here. I can't smell you from here. I can't even pick up Emma. It's gone. My wolf is gone!" Ruby grabbed two handfuls of Regina's shirt, tearing fabric in adrenaline-laden panic.

Emma wrapped her arms around her friend from behind, restraining the now human strength by trapping her arms beneath her own. "Shhh, Rubes, it's okay."

Ruby pushed back. Emma braced her left foot behind her, lifting Ruby to keep her from the leverage of the floor. "It's gone, Emma. It's not okay. It's gone. Belle!" Green met brown over the wolf's shoulder. She threw her head back onto Emma's shoulder. White puffs of saliva gathered at the corners of her mouth. "Belle!" Ruby screamed, veins popping from her flushed neck.

Emma sank to the floor and wrapped her legs around Ruby's squirming body. "Belle!" Regina rubbed her biceps, eyes rolled towards the ceiling against the tears shimmering there. Emma held onto her best friend.

"We'll fix it, Ruby," Emma murmured. She knew it wouldn't help, but she wanted to try.

"They took my wolf," Ruby whimpered and rolled into Emma's chest. The Savior held the light body easily and pressed a kiss to Ruby's forehead.

"I know, Rubes. I'm sorry." She ducked her forehead to Ruby's temple, eyes closed. "I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry," she murmured over and over until the mantra became a prayer they all felt in their souls.


	28. Don't Want to Lose You

Here ye beeeeee! Thank you for all the reviews and follows. I know some of you are confused at the moment, but trust that I mean you to be and it will make sense when you get there. I'm going to get as much of this story pumped out before I start my residency in July, and if I can't finish it, I will at least not leave you in incredible suspense for 2 weeks while I'm in seminar 10 hours a day.

Song: Don't let Me Go by RAIGN

* * *

Regina tipped her face into the strong, hot spray of water shooting from the silver showerhead. The past few hours tore at emotional defenses, plucking her nerves apart and teasing them into frazzled strands. Ruby took the news of Belle's second abduction about as well as she'd reacted to losing her wolf sense. Emma handled her with patience and firm hand. She talked her down from several terrible ideas born in grief and anger, like confronting Rumpelstiltskin and looking for Zelena in the woods. She'd popped out to the cabin with Robin earlier but found nothing but the black dress Zelena had worn to confront them. Tracks led from the cabin towards the mountains, but Robin advised against following due to the treacherous trek Zelena had chosen – if they were even her foot prints. By tomorrow when daylight broke, the wind would have destroyed any evidence of them. Her potion had to work.

Regina turned, letting the strong spray bounce against tense shoulders. Emma would have gone headlong into the trail and tossed caution to the wind and told the devil himself to fuck off. Without a guide, Regina knew she'd have been lost and probably injured if she'd followed. If she'd followed Emma, they both probably would have died from falling over a cliff. Scratching shampoo into her hair, she turned and let the spray loosen the knot in her chest.

"Damn you," she cursed and slammed the heel of her left hand into wet porcelain.

She should have followed Zelena's tracks. She should have gone back with Emma and found Belle, for Ruby.

"Damn you," she yelled and hit the wall again.

The hot spray covered the tears she finally allowed to fall. She'd failed them. That's why she had to be a villain. She failed at every turn in attempt to be the hero Emma believed her to be. She wasn't honorable – her treatment of Robin proved that. He offered the same comfort and support The Savior gave her, and in every single moment, she'd chosen to ignore him, to make herself vulnerable to the safer choice. She refused to let herself love him, she refused to accept his love because it might have made her crack just a little.

Pressing both hands into the tile, Regina hung her head between her shoulders and let loose the emotions she held close to her chest all evening. She understood what people meant when they felt the world had turned against them. She'd cried more since Emma broke the curse than she had her entire life. The pain waited on the other side of the vengeance. Emma Swan with her perfect legs in indigo jeans and wild blonde hair that represented the fire in her soul. Emma Swan with her smug grin and eye rolls and chainsaws. Emma Swan who had almost kissed her in the kitchen a few hours ago.

Emma Swan who she had wanted to kiss her in the kitchen, longed for it still.

"Damn you," she whispered. The memory cooled the anger. It was merely a sympathy response, she reasoned and rinsed suds from her hair. Emma grieved and reached out to her, and she'd denied her the first time. She wanted Emma to kiss her to make Emma feel better, nothing more, for fear that she'd take to the woods again and complete what she'd started.

"Damn you," she cried and pressed both hands into the tile. Shoulders shook beneath the hot spray. Steam and porcelain muffled heavy sobs, and water washed away the tears.

Without wiping her face, she cried and lathered conditioner into dark hair, ran a bar of soap over weary muscles. She cried as she rinsed the tiny white bubbles away, cleansed the thickness from her hair. She cried until she opened the shower door into the steamy bathroom. A fluffy towel dried the salty liquid with the rest of the droplets covering her body. Wrapping it tightly, she tucked the corner between her breasts and ignored the rest of the tears waiting for their freedom. A waft of steam proceeded her into the master bedroom.

Through the mist, a form appeared. Robin sat on the edge of the bed, fingers laced between his legs. His big shoulders hunched forward, tight with stress and emotion. Regina breathed steamy air and then stepped into the cooler room.

"Were the boys alright staying with Snow and David?" She asked. He nodded, jaw clenched tightly. "Thank you for picking them up from school and taking them to Granny's." He nodded again

Tucking a knee beneath her, Regina sat on the bed and sighed deeply. "I'm sorry, Robin." She touched his shoulder. "I feel like I've said that a million times the past few weeks."

He covered her smaller hand and bowed his head. "I need you to talk to me. I need you to tell me what you're thinking. I've been patient because I know that everyone you care about is in danger right now, but I'm not your servant, Regina. I deserve better."

"I know," she rushed and squeezed the tense muscle beneath her palm. "I'm sorry I've made you feel that way. I care about you, Robin. You've…" She touched his cheek, turning his gaze to hers. "You've been so generous with yourself and your time. It means more than I say."

He grinned and kissed her palm, beard scratching sensitive skin. Regina smirked and raised onto one knee, winging the other over his lap. "What are you doing?" He asked, tipping his head back to meet her eyes.

"Trying again," she whispered as she lowered her mouth to his.

Large hands caught on the fluffy towel, pressed into her back. A tongue flicked over her lip, and she opened her mouth. Wiry hairs felt like sandpaper against her face and lips, she ignored it, throwing herself into the moment. Hums vibrated their mouths. Small hands tugged the shirt over his back, and he raised his arms. The fabric barely cleared his head before lips collided once more, and his hands caressed her body through the towel, ribs and back and neck. She rolled her hips when he squeezed her ass and buried her fingers into his thick hair. His mouth detached from hers, dragging stubble across her chest – a direct contrast to the wet tongue tracing her collarbone. A familiar panic swelled in her chest, so she faced it and flung the towel away from her.

A calloused hand covered one breast, a hot tongue swirled the other nipple. A wet gasp escaped her mouth. It felt good. She rolled into him, feeling his own stimulation through cargo pants. Tears burned the back of her throat, so she closed her eyes, holding them inside, and focused on the response of her body to his touch. With one hand, he lifted and laid her on the bed without faltering the gentle ministrations of mouth and tongue.

Hot kisses covered her neck, nipped at her pulse point, sucked a brown nipple aching to be touched. They followed the slight contour of her belly. Teeth scraped her hip. Tears slid into her ears, and she covered her face.

"Stop, Robin," came the breathy plea a moment before the stimulation disappeared. He jerked back, hands hovering above the woman.

"Regina?"

Heat from his body pressed into her side, the only part of him that touched her, and she rolled into it. Soft hair on his sculpted chest tickled her nose and cheek, making tears fall harder. "I'm sorry," she cried as he wrapped her in a comforting embrace. "I'm sorry, I can't do this."

"It's fine. We don't have to do this right now. We have time," the woodsman soothed the insecurity.

"No, Robin." She leaned back in his embrace, hand on his chest. "I can't do this. I know we're marked as soulmates, but…"

"You feel it, too," he murmured, catching her off guard. The muscles of his face relaxed a bit, and he kissed her forehead.

"What?" Regina shook her head and leaned back farther to meet his eyes again.

"I know you're not in love with me," he clarified. "I'm not in love with you either."

"Is there someone else?" She snapped.

He chuckled and tucked wet hair behind her ear. "No." He smiled and pulled an elbow beneath his weight to better see her face. "Regina, when we first met, you were wild and different and beautiful, and you caught me completely off guard, but... I don't feel like this is right either. I know that I love you and I want you to be in my life, but I was afraid to say anything because so many people have abandoned you and hurt you." He hung his head, brushed a thumb over her damp shoulder. "I didn't want to be added to that list."

"But you're my soulmate. Fairy dust doesn't lie," Regina protested. Fear of losing him gripped her heart, and she pressed closer. She held his bicep, flushed her face against his chest and inhaled the earthy scent that always clung to him.

"That fairy dust also tested our souls a lifetime ago. Maybe a soulmate can be more than a friend but less than a lover," he suggested. "Maybe a soulmate doesn't have be True Love."

"What if no one else will love me?" Regina murmured, broken and distant.

Robin grinned and pressed his lips to her forehead. "I think you know that's not true. She's downstairs right now, at your side despite everything that's happened."

Regina stared at the ceiling, eyes flicking to and fro as she searched for the truth in the words she wanted to deny. She sat up slowly and scooted to the edge of the bed. The towel offered a thin shield around her heart, but it was all she had to wrap around her body and the difficult organ beneath. Robin sat up and pulled his shirt over his head before laying his heavy arm over her shoulders. Her weary body leaned into his stout form, and she squeezed his big hand between both of hers on his lap.

"Emma is grieving for another woman. She already loves another," Regina protested. It sounded like an excuse, even to her own ears.

"Emma loves harder than most. Do you honestly believe the heart of The Savior could never love again?" A tiny bit of pressure on her hand soothed the panic. "When she left, Regina, you were lost. You wandered around this town like you didn't even recognize it. I didn't realize how much you cared for her until then."

Regina grinned sadly and bent her gaze to the safety of the floor. "Neither did I."

"How long did you preserve Daniel's body and look for a way to bring him back?" Robin asked, catching her in the gut with the question. Sitting up straight, she fixed a cold glare on him. He grinned, the skin around his eyes tightening with cheeky energy. "Humor me."

She huffed. "I waited a lifetime to bring him back," she snapped and crossed her arms.

He jostled her shoulders, swaying her neck back and forth gently. "So, what's a few more months or a year to wait for Emma? You love harder than most, too. If she needs a friend, be there for her. I'm not blind, we can all see how she looks at you. It made me mad at first, but then I saw you look back." He sighed and cast a sideways glance at soft caramel eyes. "Which means, I have to move out of the way, Regina. It hurt until I realized that my heart didn't break completely in two."

Regina wrapped her arms around his waist and leaned into the hug he offered freely. He kissed a crown of black, wet hair and released a deep breath through his nostrils. This felt right, holding her, comforting her. He wanted to comfort her, and she wanted to be comforted by him. They were meant to be together, but they weren't in love. And that was okay.

"I played Mario Kart to make her feel better," she confessed aridly.

He laughed out loud and glanced down at her. "It must be love." She rolled her eyes.

"So," he started, "want to be my best friend?"

"Won't Little John be jealous?" She fired back.

His chest moved with laughter above his steady heartbeat. "I can't have two?"

Regina chuckled and lifted her chin enough to meet his downturned eyes. "Are you certain you can handle it?"

He smiled, a twinkle of mischief in his eyes. "We'll take it a day at a time." He kissed her forehead one last time. "I'll let you get dressed and give Emma a break from Ruby watch."

Regina nodded and watched him leave. Numbly, she completed the nightly routine – blowing her hair dry, slipping into black satin sleep pants and button-up long-sleeve shirt. A red silk robe added extra protection against the evening chill of winter in Maine, and black fuzzy slippers completed the outfit. As she descended the stairs, the house felt different. Not the house, her. She felt different, liberated, aware. Every molecule brushed against her cheeks, and she felt them, welcomed them. She wanted to experience everything, give herself to life. Like a climber returned from Everest, her soul celebrated an impossible victory, and she hungered for the next challenge with wild eyes and needy hands.

Fear no longer controlled her.

Robin and Ruby's voices rose and fell in the living room, and she grinned at them as she passed. Ruby seemed okay, as okay as possibly given the circumstances. Silent slippers paused at the threshold of the kitchen. Emma stood by the glass patio door, thumbs tucked into her back pockets and shoulders hunched tightly. The reflection upon the glass showed a face lined with stress and pain and indecision. Regina crossed her arms and stepped lightly upon the porcelain tile. When her reflection appeared beside Emma's in the blackness, green eyes refocused from her own tortured features to the soft caramel eyes blurred by light and darkness colliding in the glass.

"Hey," Emma greeted.

Regina grinned at Emma's distorted image. "Hi."


	29. Need

So, I had a minor panic attack today. I usually post once I've reached a certain number of views, so everyone gets a chance to experience it before I post the next one. I forgot to change my stat parameter to June and spent all day thinking no one had looked at this story. So, Thanks! For not abandoning me even though I'm a grumpy cow sometimes. Enjoy, my pretties!

Song: Fix You by Mysha Didi

* * *

Regina woke with a weight half on top of her and crick in her neck. She rolled it side to side, wincing. She let out a little moan and readjusted her head into a more comfortable position. Her nose and mouth brushed soft hair, and she smiled against it as she pressed a kiss there. Reality slowly melted the dream world – a thin hand with long fingers against her ribs, a head on her chest, a thin body weighted her left hip comfortably, small breasts tucked against her side. She tangled fingers into hair that smelled like her own shampoo and hummed, kissing the scalp near her mouth. She touched a cheek, followed it to a shoulder and down to the hand holding her ribs, pushing her fingers between the ones that opened for her willingly. She guided it higher. It resisted slightly, and Regina frowned.

"Will you touch me, Emma?" She murmured.

"Nope. Nope. Nope," a very different feminine voice sliced through the warm place between sleep and reality, shattering it completely. The body scrambled away from her, not getting very far but enough to sit up and distance itself from Regina's wandering hands.

Caramel eyes flew open and met espresso brown. The sisters stared at each other, mouths open, eyes wide. An awkward energy clung to the moment, Ruby chewed her lip. Regina sucked a breath to speak, shook her head. Ruby saved her with a cheeky grin. Light brown eyes stayed big and round and fearful – of judgement or worry that Ruby would spill the beans, she wasn't able to decipher.

"I'm not going to tell anyone you've got the hots for Savior McSexy Pants," Ruby promised. "Is that why you were down here with me last night? Robin left with his stuff earlier this morning, so I figured something happened." Ruby wiggled her legs beneath Regina's and rested her hands on the older woman's thigh and knee.

"Our discussion last night was enlightening. I ended our relationship a moment after throwing myself at him sexually," Regina admitted. "I was quite embarrassed."

"What did he say?"

"After I cried like an infantile fool, he confirmed what we both already knew but had been too afraid to say aloud. I love him. I feel connected to him, but he deserves better, someone who can remain true to him." Regina gave her a tight smile drenched in self-pity.

"You deserve better, too, Regina. If it's not there, it's not there." Ruby shrugged. "I've had lots of boyfriends who stayed with me because they thought I needed someone to take care of me. Relationships are super weird. It's like, you can have the best sex in the world or a best friend who is good for snuggling but absolutely no sexual attraction. It would have been okay if you let him take care of you for a while. He obviously wanted to."

"I don't want to be taken care of," Regina growled, voice raspy from sleep, and squeezed the bridge of her nose against the headache already forming. She needed coffee. "How are you feeling?"

Ruby plucked absently at the satin atop her sister's knee and chewed her lip. "I'm convinced that fucker from the Mayhem commercials follows me around for fun, and I miss Belle. Other than that I'm fine, I guess."

Regina covered her hand and squeezed tightly, feeling the pang of loss when the returning grip fell short of Ruby's usual strength. She was human. "The tracking potion is done. We'll find her," the witch promised. Ruby nodded, head bowed against the tears blurring her vision.

"She was only gone a couple of hours last time. What if she's… what if they… She can't go through that again. Belle's strong, but everyone has a limit." Ruby rolled her eyes to the ceiling, trying to be strong, but they tumbled onto her cheeks anyway.

Regina sat up, tucking a leg beneath her, and pulled her little sister into chest. "You have a limit, too, Ruby. Emma and I will find her, and then we'll find a way to heal your wolf." Ruby nodded against her collarbone and clutched the red silk robe tightly.

Movement by the door caught her eye, and Regina raised her gaze to hesitant green eyes. The grimace on Emma's face told her everything she needed to know. The Savior felt her friend's pain, felt responsible for it, guilty that she'd not been able to protect her. Emma entered the room and handed Regina a cup of coffee as she sat on the coffee table. Regina held her eyes and Ruby's back while the wolf cried. Emma squeezed her friend's shoulder and met Regina's gaze, confused but comfortable beneath the intensity of caramel eyes. Empty promises wouldn't have helped Ruby feel better, so they waited and sipped coffee and gazed into the other's soul.

Eventually, she calmed and sat up, wiping cheeks and nose. Emma relinquished Regina's eyes and stood. "I'll make some breakfast," she announced and left the room as silently and quickly as she had come.

"Something's wrong with her," Ruby stuttered, trying to catch her breath.

"I know," Regina agreed. She smoothed Ruby's tangled hair and tried to smile. "She's gone through something unimaginable. You remember how disoriented you were when the curse first broke and suddenly held two lifetimes in your memories, two identities."

Ruby nodded. "Yeah, but this feels like more than that. She's not telling us everything. And it just seems too convenient that on the day she tells us about Zelena, she shows up and attacks you. Emma said she didn't have any magic. She didn't just miraculously figure out how to get it back overnight." Ruby grabbed her hand, squeezed it hard. "Regina, something's wrong. What if Zelena or Rumpelstiltskin figured out how to take Emma's heart?"

Caramel eyes shifted to the empty foyer and back to the desperate dark brown begging her to do something. "Are you saying that you think Emma drugged you?"

Ruby shook her head. "No, of course not. Emma would never do that, but something is going on that we can't see. It's going to get one of us killed. It might have already gotten Belle…" her voice cracked, and Ruby bowed her head. "It's like I'm the only one who can see it."

"Ruby, you're in shock," Regina started gently, held up a hand when Ruby opened her mouth to protest. "The love of your life has just been abducted for the second time in a week. You've lost an integral part of yourself with no warning. It's no different from me losing my magic or Emma losing a leg. You cannot possibly see things clearly right now." She touched her cheek, expression soft with sympathy. "I agree that some things don't add up, but this is how Rumpelstiltskin works. He tears people apart by making them question everything. Emma has suffered an incredible trauma, and I'm not completely sure she can control her magic, but she's still Emma."

"I know," the wolf murmured, slightly ashamed of her own suspicions. Something clattered in the kitchen, and Emma's cursed bounced into the foyer. Ruby grinned. "You should go help her."

Regina nodded and squeezed her hand once more before standing. "Regina?" Ruby called, and she spun at the doorway to find contemplative brown eyes staring at the far wall, distant. They turned with calculate precision to her own. "Don't be afraid to love her. I don't think she'll get through this if you hold back. You deserve to be loved, and you are more than worthy to be the one she turns to for comfort."

Regina swallowed the sting of tears at the back of her throat, eyes dropping to the floor. The nod that followed barely registered as movement, and she left her sister in silence. A frustrated Emma with a wet towel wrapped around her hand stared hard at the skillet sitting empty on a lit gas burner. Regina killed the flame and reached for the other woman at the same time.

"Let me see," she murmured, eyes dancing between the injured hand and Emma's distant eyes. "Emma, what's wrong?" She snapped twice in front of green eyes. "Emma?"

"It doesn't hurt," Emma said and refocused her eyes.

Regina raised a skeptical eyebrow. Tender fingers encircled The Savior's wrist, holding it still while Regina unwrapped the towel, careful not to scrape it over the injury beneath. Regina held her breath and examined the wound that definitely hurt more than Emma purported. Red and black skin – or the lack thereof – covered the side of her thumb and half of her palm. The start of an 'X' carved out pieces of flesh. Regina winced, but Emma remained unmoved by the pain she must have felt.

"I forgot that I switched burners," she explained.

Regina's hand hovered over the burn, magic reaching for the wound. "Don't," Emma lashed and jerked from Regina's loose grasp. The darker woman stared, confused but unafraid of the outburst. "I deserve to hurt," The Savior declared.

"Emma," Regina exclaimed no louder than a whisper that brushed The Savior's flushed cheeks. She touched tangled blonde hair with one hand and captured the injured hand around the wrist again, lightly without actually trapping the other woman. Her body moved without hesitation, pressing into the warmth emanating from Emma's body. Caramel eyes looked up into stormy green, searching, pleading. "No one deserves to hurt the way you hurt, Emma."

"Yes, I do," Emma said simply. She hadn't argued or expressed anger or anything at all really beyond the unwavering belief that she deserved to be punished.

"Let me heal you." Regina held stormy green eyes, captivated by the things she saw there, depths she'd never thought to explore.

Emma heard the desperate plea all the way to her soul, knew it encompassed more than skin and flesh. Regina hadn't needed her, but she needed Regina. She needed, needed, needed. She needed healing and help and love. She hadn't been wrong when she told The Queen that couldn't live without it. Regina kissed her palm beside burn, giving her what she needed. It felt good without the guilt of Robin hovering at the edge of her mind. Closing her eyes, she held her lips against Emma's hand and waved her own above the wound. Emma hissed as sinewy fibers of flesh regrew unnaturally, leaving only a tiny scar down the length of her thumb where the hot metal burned deepest. Soft lips pressed to the scar, caramel eyes crossing the small space between them to peer into her soul through shimmering green eyes.

"There," the mayor whispered.

Breath caressed her palm, and Emma shivered bodily. "You didn't have to do that."

"Yes, I did," Regina argued, firm but gentle and quiet. "I'm here for you, Emma. I wasn't before, and I'm so sorry. I'm here now."

"I'm fine," Emma insisted and pulled her hand away. Regina let it go with only minimal resistance, following Emma lead for the morning.

"You're not fine," Regina chased her around the island, stopped abruptly when Emma slouched into a chair at the breakfast table and stared out the window.

"Where's Robin?" Emma murmured. Green eyes flickered back and forth like she controlled some unseen demon attacking her soul.

"Robin and I have decided to end our romantic relationship. We're much better as friends," Regina answered honestly, keeping her voice as steady as possible. It wasn't Emma's fault that she'd realized her feelings for her, and The Savior dealt with enough at the moment without adding romantic drama on top of it. Still, the weight of the knowledge bowed the woman's head, pressed down on her shoulders.

"I'm sorry," she whispered.

"I'm not, and neither is he." Regina touched her shoulder, and Emma flinched hard enough for her to pull her hand back. "Emma, talk to me."

"I'm fine," she repeated. Bracing elbows on her knees, she leaned her face into her hands and breathed – rapid, shallow things that moved her ribs beneath the thin gray shirt.

Regina took a steadying breath, pulling her patience in line. "You are not fine." She touched her shoulder again.

Emma surged out of the chair, startling a gasp from her. "What do you know about it? Nothing. You don't know who I am. You don't know anything, so just leave me alone, okay?" Emma tossed over her shoulder and stomped to the front door.

"Where are you going?" Regina asked at the top of the foyer stairs.

"I need to get out of here," Emma muttered, more to herself than to Regina. What the hell just happened?

"Emma, where are you going? None of us should wander off alone right now," Regina appealed to her logic rather than emotion. Clearly, Emma's mental state scrambled her reason.

The Savior's shoulders fell flat, defeated. Regina couldn't know, so she couldn't understand. How easy it could have been, to kiss her, to have her. She protected them, but they weren't aware. If she kissed Regina, she set into motion the same events of the other timeline. Rumpelstiltskin tried to take over because she had the power to break the curse and set everyone free. If she kissed Regina in this timeline, she risked lighting a stick of dynamite with no way to stop the fuse.

"I'm hungry," she said. "I'm going to Granny's. I'll bring you something back and then we can try to find Belle with the tracking potion. No sense in us running off halfcocked and starving, is there? We have to be smarter than him." Emma paused long enough to throw on her coat. The ire seemed to fade in the coolness of the doorway, so Regina remained at the top of the stairs with hands clasped tightly in front of her hips.

Ruby touched Regina's back, making her jump. "Can I go with you? I haven't seen Granny since I was in the hospital, and I really want a hug right now." Ruby squeezed her shoulder, silently telling her that she would watch over Emma.

The Savior puffed and wrapped hands around her hips, glaring up at the two sisters. "Fine. Just hurry up. I'll wait outside, and we're walking."

The air pressure changed as the door flew open and then slammed, with one gust of cold air soothing the dark energy in the foyer.

"Told you something was wrong with her. Believe me now?" Ruby clipped and turned towards the stairs. She really hadn't wanted to go traipsing about in the cold, but Emma needed her.

"I do," Regina conceded at the foot of the stairs. "Call me if she loses control of her magic. The only reason she hasn't been arrested yet is because she helped me defeat Zelena in the square. This town will not tolerate much more bad behavior from her before it explodes."

Ruby nodded and sprinted upstairs, puffing by the time she reached the top. Humans were stupid and weak, she grumbled silently. She changed into jeans and snow boots and took her time descending the stairs. Her entire body felt unbalanced, like having a permanent inner ear infection on top of a fever that weakened her muscles, like being on morphine. She hugged Regina who waited at the bottom of the stairs and left the house. Emma waved her hands impatiently at the front of the walk, and Ruby braced against the cold. Had it always been that cold? Everything ached instantly, but she pushed through it. If this was to be her life, she needed to be stronger, for Belle and for Emma.

"What's your deal, Savior McSnappy Pants?" She barked two feet from Emma.

"I'm hungry," Emma said as though it explained everything.

"Being hangry doesn't give you the right to be a bitch to Regina," the wolf defended her sister's tender heart. "She's trying to help."

"I don't need help. I just need everyone to stay the hell out of my way and let me eat some goddamn breakfast," Emma snapped back and set a brisk pace that left Ruby struggling for breath in the cold temperature.

"Fine," Ruby sniped back, practically jogging to keep up. "Would you mind telling me why we're walking to town instead of driving? Why the hell are we going to town at all when my girlfriend is out there somewhere alone and possibly hurt? Your breakfast can wait because you know Regina won't go without you."

Emma whirled on her, wild green eyes a few inches from her chin where they tipped up to meet hers. "When Belle was abducted last time, did you feel her? Could you feel her pain?"

Ruby shifted weight foot to foot, crossed her arms loosely. "I thought I did," she admitted, not liking where Emma went with the question.

"Do you feel the same fear now? Can you sense that she's in pain?"

Ruby rolled espresso flavored eyes and shifted her weight again. "No, but my wolf…"

"Ruby, your wolf doesn't control your heart," Emma interrupted. "Trust that. Trust what you feel." With that, she turned and stalked through the snow, not bothering to glance over her shoulder.

Ruby gave chase, barely catching up much less kept up with The Savior accustomed to normal human limitations. Her legs and chest burned. A stitch plucked at her side. She refused to yield and matched Emma step for step. The Savior couldn't bully her the way she had Regina. Something was very wrong with her best friend, and she intended to get to the bottom of it, wolf or not.


	30. Revelations

Thank you, lovelies, for all the reviews and the new follows. Enjoy!

Song: No Light, No Light by Florence + The Machine

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Zelena sprinted towards the cave opened. She slid on her hip, exploding snow into the entrance. Her knapsack banged off the wall, one side then the other. She landed in a crouch and moved as quickly as possible towards the cavern beyond the tight tunnel. Soft leather boots covered the ground silently in the darkness she hadn't bothered to light. Belle gasped at the abrupt entrance. Zelena ignored her, a clear set of goals in her mind. A long stick poked smoldering embers until little flickers of flame burst from the fresh oxygen. She fed the flame, making it higher than Belle had ever seen it. Zelena conserved her supplies carefully. So, a splurge of hard-gained firewood meant something went wrong.

"What's happened?" Belle asked and stood on stiff legs.

Zelena mumbled to herself as she dug through supplies, discarding boxes behind her. The contents skittered over the sweating cave floor, and Zelena left them where they fell, kicking them out of the way as she returned to the fire ring with a giant cast iron pot. She filled it with a gallon of water, mumbling the whole time – names of roots and maybe herbs. Was she making a soup? The witch dug through another box and pulled out a whole box of granola bars.

"Eat," she said and flung the box within the etched line. A bottle of water followed, and Belle jumped out of the way as it bounced towards her shins. The cap exploded, and she grabbed it up before she lost all of it and soaked the thin padding Zelena gave her.

"Zelena, what's happened? Is Ruby okay?" She tried again, but the witch disappeared into her own mind.

Zelena hit her knees hard on the slate rock and dug into the knapsack for one second, screeched in frustration, and dumped the contents onto the floor. More objects flew in Belle's direction, books and pencils and a sketch pad. The redhead tossed them over her shoulder. It would have been comical if the frantic energy rolling off of her sporadic movements hadn't shaken the librarian to her core. Again, Zelena repeated the list of ingredients. She tossed a bag of walnuts and a hammer towards the fire. In one smooth motion, she threw her weight backwards and came to her feet, not stopping to find proper balance. She almost dumped the contents of a pouch into the pot but stopped to scowl at it.

"Boil, damn you!" She kicked it with the toe of her boot, but the heavy container barely moved.

Dropping the pouch, she moved back to the wall of supplies and found another smaller pot, filled it with water and set it on the fire, too. Legs spread wide, she sat on the floor and grabbed the bag of walnuts. Belle hugged her knees and flinched every time she hit a rough shell with the hammer. She held her breath every time the sharp crack gave way to the dull thud of Zelena hitting her thumb. The witch never reacted to the pain, simply cracked the shells, tore out the meat, and tossed the hulls into the smaller pot. Walnuts littered the floor around her when she reached the last spikey shell. Wiping hands on buckskin pants, she stood and nearly toppled into the fire in the haste.

"Zelena!" Belle yelled. The witch snapped from the desperate concentration and stared at her, chest heaving from adrenaline.

"Tell me what happened. Maybe I can help? I have spent my life reading," Belle offered. She hated feeling useless, hated being trapped.

"You can't. Just read your books and be quiet," Zelena snapped and turned to the clutter she'd dumped from the sack. Picking through it, she grabbed up roots tied together and covered in dirt.

"Is that why you didn't return last night? You were gathering ingredients? Must have taken you ages to dig through the snow." The librarian held firm. Zelena hadn't hurt her, and she believed the witch never meant to harm her. Something bigger than her abduction happened, and Zelena played a starring role. She simply waited for everything to implode.

"I'm sorry I let the fire go out," Zelena murmured, not seeming that apologetic that Belle had spent half the night shivering. Caves were naturally insulated to mid-50-degree temperature. It wouldn't have killed her.

The witch pulled the knife from her pants and hit her knees beside the fire again. She growled and flew back to the wall of supplies, grabbing a few things, flinging a few things. A small cloth-wrapped package dislodged. A light brown leather journal and baby rattle slid onto damp stone. "Damn it," Zelena hissed.

Belle came to her feet and skimmed the edge of the barrier, static energy pricking her arms and chest beneath the light blue wool sweater and camisole. "Is that mine?"

Zelena snatched up the two items and sat them atop the cloth. The calm and careful love she showed them told Belle how important they were to the witch. Fingers trailed over the metal rattle, tracing each divot and curve. "I'm sorry," she murmured and gingerly wrapped them in dark green cloth. She tucked the bundle into a box and then moved it to the floor before she knocked it off again.

"Zelena, was that my journal?" Belle demanded, as much as should could have demanded held prisoner in a cave in the middle of nowhere at the mercy of a woman gone mad.

The sorceress ignored her, and the same frenetic energy spilled into the cave once more. Zelena returned to the piles of ingredients by the fire. Some of the herbs were carefully shredded, others smashed atop a rock to collect the juices in a small bowl. Sweat soaked red hair at her temples, cheeks flushing as she worked. Belle sat on the bed padding, and ripped open a fruit and nut granola bar. The sticky honey used as an adhesive for the mixture stuck to her teeth and the roof of her mouth, ignored as she flipped over the thousand possibilities in her mind.

Zelena glanced into the pot again. "Finally, you cooperate," she sniped at the water, a slave to physics. She dumped the pouch and some of the herbs into the boiling water. The smaller pot splashed water onto the rocks. It sizzled. For minutes or maybe hours for all Belle knew, the only sounds in the cave were sizzling and incoherent mumbling as Zelena created some concoction that smelled more like a potion than a soup.

The witch stood and pulled the buckskin jacket over her hand before grabbing the handle of the smaller pot. She moved it to the entrance of the tunnel to cool, added more ingredients to the pot. Finally, she sat atop and case of bottled water, one hand holding the back of the other and breathed. She'd reached a point of waiting, and Belle debated pushing her for information or remaining silent. Zelena moved abruptly as she opened her mouth to speak and shed the thick jacket. Beneath, the tan tank top soaked through with sweat from the previous night and the quick dash around the cave. From what Belle saw, she hadn't been harmed in any way beyond the bruise purpling her left thumb caused by her own hand.

She tossed the coat away like she had everything else and checked the pot with walnut hulls. Belle frowned when she dumped the mixture into the kettle, but it made sense when she drained black liquid back into the pot free of the hulls. The pot went back to the tunnel, and the kettle clattered to the floor, forgotten like all the other supplies. This wasn't Zelena. The witch kept her stock meticulously organized, identifying the location of any necessity with only a thought. Zelena stirred the large cast iron pot holding some sort of potion and returned to the pile of supplies, pulling out long rubber gloves used for dish washing or cleaning with chemicals.

"Zelena, what are you making?" She asked, curiosity greater than fear.

The witch held the back of her neck, unsure what to do now that she only had to wait. "I'm dying my hair," she deciding on answering Belle's question.

"Why?"

"Because red hair is too easily recognized," she explained like it laid out the entire situation. Belle squinted at the odd woman. Emma was right. She wasn't the Zelena who had attacked the entire town a few months ago. She seemed broken, on the edge of killing herself or disappearing into her own mind forever.

Zelena retrieved the pot from the tunnel and sat on the case of water with it between her feet. She pulled off the tank top and wrapped it around her neck before donning the yellow rubber gloves. Without hesitation or thought to the change in her appearance, Zelena bent her head forward and wet beautiful red hair thoroughly with the dark liquid. Belle watched the transformation silently. The tan tank top turned black but protected her skin from being dyed for the most part. She twisted it into a tight knot at the top of her head, squeezing the excess onto the floor before sitting upright and covering the crown of her head with the mixture.

"Did something happen? I thought you wanted people to recognize you," the librarian pushed.

"They can't today," Zelena responded, absent emotion.

"Why?"

Zelena met her gaze, and Belle shivered at what she found there. Zelena looked scared. The witch ripped off the gloves and returned to the fire, shirt still wrapped around her neck. Thin scars glistened in the bright orange light, and Belle tried to look away from the other woman's back as she tended the potion. Was this what Emma saw? Were Zelena's scars the piece of the unhinged sorceress that gained The Savior's sympathy and trust? Belle jerked when emerald eyes replaced the ancient marks.

"Don't," Zelena warned and switched sides to stir the potion, showing Belle her front. Veins popped along the back of two strong wrists, tendons and muscle definition raised in her arms. Prominent collarbones sank in perfect triangles as the witch worked. Hardened muscles covered every inch of skin exposed, telling Belle of the struggle Zelena faced just to survive. She looked like a manual laborer from The Enchanted Forest.

"Zelena, what's happening?" She asked again, quiet and reflective and scared. Finally, Zelena fear pierced her mental shield and slithered into her soul.

The witch met her gaze again, frustrated but resigned to her chatty houseguest. Belle's wide blue eyes mirrored her own. "Your boyfriend has become obsessed with recreating the other timeline." The jab went unacknowledged by the librarian save a frown tugging at the lines of her mouth.

"We already know this," Belle snapped back, crossing her arms.

"Then it should come as no shock to you then, that by the end of the day, someone will be poisoned with chimera venom. I don't know who or when, so I must be prepared to act at any moment. What I've made won't completely cure them, but it will save their life."

"It's going to be one of them, isn't it? Ruby, Regina, or Emma."

Zelena walked to the edge of the barrier. Emerald eyes danced to and fro, searching Belle's upturned face. "He won't harm Emma. He needs her, which means everyone The Savior loves right now, save you, is in danger."

"And you," Belle added just to see what happened.

Zelena's face hardened, shoving Belle out of her thoughts. She returned to the potion, and the librarian sat cross-legged beneath the blanket, watching and waiting.


	31. Savior

Soooo, I did a thing, my loves. This is a simple chapter to ease us all back into things, remind folks what's going on. A huge shout out to LucidLucifer who has NOT abandoned me in my hour (or year as it were) of need and is still on board with this story. We've been discussing the plot and direction over the last couple weeks. I think I'm grounded enough to get going again.

As always, enjoy!

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Ruby and Emma walked through the door of the diner to a hero's welcome. People cheered, some stood and hugged Ruby. The young wolf smiled and greeted them all, accepting their affection, much like she had in the other timeline. Ruby was pretty Ruby no matter where she was, and Emma found a modicum of comfort in the gentleness of her best friend's soul. A few of the more enthusiastic patrons of Granny's touched her shoulder or arm or offered a hug, and Emma focused on her breath, slow and deep. She caught Granny's gaze on her from the swinging kitchen door and nodded her acceptance of the silent appreciation. She had restored Ruby's vision, it was something a hero would do. Ruby broke away from the crowd and drifted towards Granny, afraid to touch the thing she wanted most, except maybe Belle. They'd kept the librarian's second abduction quiet, but Emma knew that Granny would know by the end of the day.

She slipped onto a stool at the bar, and the crowd dispersed. The sweet scent of cinnamon mixed with the salty beckoning of bacon, and Emma nodded at Cassidy, a former wood nymph, to get her orders. She'd promised to bring something back to Regina, but it would be cold by the time she walked back to Mifflin Street. She hadn't thought that through, but she needed the extra time. Through the kitchen window in front of the grill, she watched Granny touch Ruby's face, brush her thumbs over her eyes. Emma couldn't hear them, but Ruby's posture slumped. Deep lines creased on her youthful face around her mouth and eyes. They hugged, and Granny turned back to the grill. Ruby disappeared deeper into the kitchen. Emma fixed her coffee with sugar and milk, sipped it while she waited for the energy to settle in the diner. She had temporarily won back the trust of the townspeople and needed to balance on that line for a little while.

She stood and headed towards the back, nodding and smiling at people who nodded and smiled at her. She was their Savior once again. At the bathroom, she glanced back but no one was watching her anymore. Emma slipped out the back door and into the frosty Maine air. Being a Savior sometimes meant making the difficult choice, and she rounded the back of the diner, Emma knew none of them would understand what it meant to be her. She disappeared in a swirl of white magic.

Zelena startled when she materialized beside her in the middle of the forest. She wore the torn buckskin coat and pants and leaned against the tree they'd chosen as a meeting point at the top of the ridge.

"Hello, Darling," she said.

"You dyed your hair," Emma blurted.

"I'm conducting an experiment to see if redheads have more fun, as your world likes to say." Zelena smirked and touched the now dry, black hair falling around her neck and shoulders. Like this, without the fancy clothes and the haughty attitude and the chains of imprisonment, Zelena looked a lot like Regina. Exhausted, and aching, like a wilted flower desperately soaking up sun and water.

"What's wrong?" Emma studied the deep purple circles under her eyes, the slouch in her usually impeccable posture.

Zelena pushed off the tree and shoved her hand into her pocket, producing two vials of black liquid that Emma recognized. She'd bartered her relationship with The Queen in the other timeline for something that looked exactly like that. She took the vial Zelena held out to her. On the back of Zelena's pale skin, she saw the veins, black and distended. Emma squeezed her eyes shut, took a breath, and opened them. Smooth, pale skin replaced the image of her mind. She needed to stay focused. Emma had no time for the ghosts that existed only in her mind. She looked up to find Zelena's bright green eyes watching her, waiting for Emma to lose it again.

"He's going to poison someone with Chimera venom," she said, careful not to squeeze the precious glass in her hand too tightly.

"That is my theory, yes," Zelena replied. She seemed calm, or just that exhausted. She shoved her hands back into her pocket and rolled her shoulders. "This isn't an antidote, but it may save someone's life."

"It saved Ruby's in the other timeline."

"Your wolf was at her prime then. A human will take much longer to heal. This remedy is a concentrated dose of a daily elixir we used to treat circulation issues. It isn't a cure, but it may keep the veins from dying." Zelena was patient, more at east now that things moved forward and her perpetual hell of loneliness closed. It wouldn't have ended once the snow melted anyway and someone stumbled onto the cabin. Emma nodded and tucked the vial into her pocket.

"How's Belle?" she asked.

"Insipid and tedious," Zelena grumbled and leaned against the tree with one shoulder. Emma had asked a lot of someone she wasn't quite sure she trusted completely. Zelena was a wild card, but for now, she seemed to want to help. "She has overcome her fear of me and asks more questions than a toddler. If I had any powers, I'd have taken her voice or turned her into a mushroom by now."

Emma laughed and joined Zelena at the tree, leaning her back against it. She turned her head to look at Zelena, and the white stream of their breaths mingled in the proximity. Emma liked being near Zelena, felt drawn to it. She figured it was the same psychology as a bug flying into one of those buzzing zapper lights, but at least she felt something other than pain for the moment.

"Thank you for kidnapping her," Emma said.

Zelena rolled her eyes, but her lips betrayed the levity in it. The smirk faded one muscle at a time until the witch's face fell slack. She looked at the ground and moved snow with her boot. She looked nothing like that woman a few months ago facing down Regina in the street like a bad sci-fi western duel.

"Thank you for helping me convince The Dark One that I've regained my powers. He can't harm me while his precious Belle is missing."

"We have to get your powers back. Regina is going to notice that she only feels my magic when you use yours eventually."

"You'll simply have to allow your love to grow and save my dreary existence, dear." Zelena baited her with a slight smirk, but Emma saw the question lurking behind the defense.

"I'll save your life, Zelena, but if you betray me, I'll kill you," Emma warned her. They stared at each other, glassy emerald eyes burning in the cold, dry air. They both knew Emma's threat was real. The Savior had gone too far off the path to care about one life on her soul, or ten or a hundred.

"You've given me little option, Savior. The moment I released you, I knew I put my life in your hands." Zelena adjusted her arm on the tree, and Emma wasn't sure if she unconsciously moved closer or if she just sought warmth. Maybe she hadn't even noticed she pressed their shoulders together against the giant tree supporting them. "If I do nothing, I will be dead the moment I open that portal. Rumplestiltskin never intended to take me to the other timeline with him."

Emma let that statement linger between them. Zelena trusted her, another life in her hands, on her heart. Once this ended, she knew another battle waited in the ordinary townsfolk who would demand Zelena's blood for her crimes. Something inside of her heated at the idea. Zelena hadn't let her die, and she refused to abandon her in her hour of need. Not a chance. No one else had to understand that. Emma wasn't even sure what it meant, her natural affinity for the witch.

"Will it take more than one dose?" Emma asked. Zelena hummed and nodded.

"Call me. I'll administer the second dose. I have more brewing in the cave, but it won't be ready for several more hours." Zelena looked in the direction of her new home and Belle's temporary prison.

"Be careful," Emma said and pushed off the tree, turning to her partner.

"You, too, Savior. Keep using your powers. They'll grow each time." Zelena held her gaze for a moment before turning sharply and sprinting off towards the cave. She moved through the snow as though it were solid ground, and Emma took a moment to appreciate the hardship that demanded that kind of physicality.

When Zelena disappeared at the top of the ridge, Emma waved her hand over the tracks, protecting Zelena's path in the unlikely event anyone followed her trail of magic to that spot. She closed her eyes, focused on the backside of the diner, and tugged on her magic. She and Zelena needed more time to train. One night of magic lessons wasn't enough. She appeared at the diner and glanced around, but no one ever came out back where the dumpster sat in the back alley. No one seemed to notice how long she'd been gone. She stood at the back door and warmed up before returning to the bar. Her coffee had gone cold, and she raised a hand to Cassidy and pointed at the mug. The server nodded and went to deliver two armloads of hot food. Ruby was at the grill, and she tried to smile at Emma. It almost reached her eyes.

Emma felt a coil of guilt in her belly and raised cold coffee to her lips, not even tasting the liquid as she worked it down her throat. She'd kidnapped Belle. Zelena was merely the instrument through which she achieved her goal. She'd given Ruby the potion that suppressed her wolf. Sure, Zelena had created it, but creation of such a thing wasn't an automatic strike against her soul. If Ruby wasn't a threat, she wasn't in danger. She and Zelena were in this together because involving anyone else meant subjecting them to the agony they'd endured in the other world Emma longed to see and feared to thrust upon those she loved. She trusted Zelena enough, but she knew the witch withheld secrets, imbedded her own agenda. She was a wildcard, and Emma tossed it on the board and hoped it hadn't destroyed the entire game.

Cassidy set a plate of food in front of her and refilled her coffee. Emma ate and drank around the knot of guilt and anxiety in her stomach. She was a warrior. She needed her strength. Chew, swallow. Chew, swallow. That was her goal for that moment. The warmth of the diner seeped into her muscles, and she unzipped her coat to let it escape. She looked up when Ruby set a foam box at the top of her plate. The younger woman looked like hell, but it wasn't as dark there as it had been.

"Regina's breakfast," she said and leaned a hip against the counter, crossing her arms.

"You should stay here and keep your mind off of things. Regina and I will find Belle. I promise."

Ruby nodded, hugged herself tighter as her head drooped. Emma almost threw up her entire breakfast. Ruby trusted her without hesitation, without doubt. Ruby was already a casualty of the war Rumpelstiltskin started in another world. At least she had her life, and if Emma had anything to say about it, Ruby would never have to worry about reliving those horrors. Emma set her hand flat on the warm box and nodded.

The bell over the front door jangled, and they both looked over to see who entered. Horace held the door open, and Astrid followed him inside. She shook snow from her hair and grinned up at him as she unzipped her coat. Emma smiled a little smile, but inside, she hardened. This was her duty. Astrid, Horace, Ruby, Belle, Regina. They would never have to know the hell that awaited them if she broke the curse that took the memories of another lifetime. They would never have to know because she would never break the curse. She would never kiss Regina. She would love her from afar until the end of time, protecting her, raising their son, stealing moments and glances and wisps of a feeling she would not allow herself to feel once she and Zelena had defeated The Dark One.

"Emma, how are you feeling?" Astrid asked, stopping to touch her shoulder.

"Better. Must have been all of the magic being used in such a small area. Made me woozy," Emma said with a soft face and a kind smile.

Astrid nodded and squeezed her shoulder. Emma turned her head the other way and watched her friend slide into the booth across from her True Love. It tugged at something in her chest where her heart should have swollen and pounded. Emma clamped down on the feeling, killing it, and looked back up at Ruby.

"I'm going to get this to her before it gets cold," she said and stood. Ruby nodded but said nothing. She felt the wolf's eyes on her back as she walked out the front door. The second it closed, she disappeared into thin air and landed on Regina's front stoop.

She pushed the doorbell and waited for the sound of boots thumping on the other side. Regina rolled her eyes and stepped aside.

"You needn't ring the bell every time you arrive at my home, Ms. Swan. We are fighting a war," the mayor sniped and closed the door behind her.

"I thought you'd be pleased that I am learning manners," Emma joked and held out of the food. "If you don't like it, blame Ruby."

Regina took the food, and Emma followed her into the kitchen, hands in the front pockets of her jeans. She lurked by the doorway and watched Regina slide the omelet onto a real plate. The potion on the table still boiled and bubbled. The tracking potion that Emma already knew yielded no result in the search for Belle. Emma ventured as close as the other side of the island when Regina perched on a stool to eat a breakfast she looked at the same way Emma had looked at her own food.

"Are you feeling less combative?" Regina asked, not looking up at her. Emma had hurt when she left angry.

"I'm sorry," Emma said. Regina kept her eyes turned downward as she cut the omelet. The sound of silver on porcelain filled the space between them.

"I can't help you if you react violently every moment you feel vulnerable," Regina finally said and looked up at her. Emma nodded. This was her game, she needed to play it.

"I need you to teach me how to control my magic better. I'm going to need it if Zelena comes back." Emma shifted a little closer and set her hands on the cool marble between them.

"We'll go to my vault once we've tried the tracking potion."

Emma nodded again. Regina ate. The Savior waited, opening her heart just a little. She needed to feel love to use her magic, and Regina offered her understanding, safety. Just a little wouldn't have hurt, right?


	32. Magic

Thank you, my loves, for not abandoning me during my hiatus! I do hope I give you the story you hope for. *heart* Enjoy and leave some love!

Song: Hold on, Hold on by Neko Case

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Emma dropped her hands to her thighs and stared at the target Regina created on the back wall of her vault away from all the magical trinkets. It was a simple chalk outline. It evoked no emotion, and Emma halfheartedly threw magic beams at it. Regina's magical protection of the stone vault kept her from doing any real damage to it. It was cold, and she was sore from all the running around in woods she'd done that past week. The cold had slipped into her bones and refused to budge. She looked over at Regina standing out of the blast zone. The mayor had her arms crossed, not defensive or angry. She looked… pensive. Sure, Regina could look pensive. It was much different than the last time she'd tried to teach Emma magic without the jeering and taunting and collapsing a bridge underneath her.

"You're resisting you magic," Regina said.

"I'm tired." Emma retrieved her coat and slipped it over her shoulders, holding the two pieces together.

"Exhaustion should ease the connection. It lowers your guard." Regina raised her hands level on either side of her head. A faint violet glow sparked to life, and heat filled the room. After a moment, Emma dropped her grip on the coat and shrugged it from her shoulders, letting it crumple on the stone floor. Still, she shivered.

"You have raw power and no control. What do you think about when you use your magic?"

Regina crossed the three steps between them. With a swipe of her boot, she swept Emma's coat from her path. Her hands hovered on either side of Emma's shoulders, pouring warmth directly into her body. Emma's taut muscles relaxed into the sensation. To be warm, to be near to another human being, it eased far more than the ache of her body. Her eyes slipped shut, and her breath deepened as the call of sleep tugged her weary mind.

"I think about the people I love," Emma said.

Regina hummed but said nothing. She thought of everyone she'd ever wanted to hurt. Sometimes, the enemy in front of her became the face of her mother, the gnarled smile of Rumpelstiltskin's pleasure from her pain. It wasn't a shock that Emma resisted her magic. To imagine the face of those she loved in every moment of violence, it must have been confusing and hurtful. All magic came with a price. Emma's price, such was her nature, damaged herself in the quest to save everyone, even those who would have seen her imprisoned for a few slips and mishaps. Idiots. They were all idiots.

Regina touched the strong shoulders in front of her, gave them a light squeeze. Emma's body unconsciously leaned into the touch, so Regina left her hands there. Emma kept her eyes shut and breathed, letting herself have this moment, just one moment. She shivered for an entirely different reason, and Regina stepped closer, sensing the maelstrom beneath The Savior's calm.

"In the other timeline, I never worried about what using my magic could mean. I think I knew somewhere inside of me that it wasn't real and that it wouldn't last. I think… I think that's why I let myself… It's why I…" Emma shook her head and opened her eyes.

"You allowed yourself to fall in love," Regina offered. Emma nodded.

"I resisted it for a while, but I was… The Queen's hostage." Emma's head dropped a little, jutting her spine at the base of her neck.

Regina held her breath and listened. She knew exactly what she was capable of, some of what Emma endured as her prisoner. When Emma turned to face her, Regina dropped her hands at met her emerald eyes with a steady gaze. She was no stranger to guilt, and this was not an exception. She hadn't hurt Emma, but she'd hurt plenty of others in the same way and she would not defend what had transpired.

"She wasn't you, Regina. I know the difference. I'm just not sure what happened there was… exactly like I remember it. I wasn't… I wasn't free to make decisions of the heart," Emma admitted. The confession hung between them thick and heavy like smoke.

"You were an abused woman. People often make decisions…."

"No," Emma interrupted. "I… knew what I was doing, but it wasn't for the right reasons. I wanted the… I…"

She'd wanted the abuse to stop. She'd wanted the loneliness to stop. She was a prisoner who hadn't been in a position to consent to anything, but she had loved Regina before the other timeline. It had been so easy to pretend, and given time, she probably would have been as disgusted with herself as she now was. She'd wanted to feel Regina under her hands and used The Queen to get what she could not ever have in the real world. She'd given up her integrity to the fantasy to stop the pain. She'd needed The Queen to love her to stop the confusing abuse. She knew that now. If Regina knew, she'd have been disgusted, just as she'd been when she learned about Zelena.

Falling into that pattern with Zelena had felt natural. She was a prisoner. She needed her captor to love her. It was a genuine need to comfort Zelena, but also one of self-preservation. Zelena had let her go. The moment Zelena had begun to care about her, she was sound enough of mind to realize what the situation would do to their relationship. She was sane if damaged, at least. And she'd let her go because she cared about Emma, too. The rest of them might have survived, but Zelena's life literally rested on her harnessing her magic.

Emma turned back to the target. Regina stayed close, close enough to feel the heat of her body against her back. The Savior closed her eyes and held out her hands. Regina let the unfinished thought linger and touched her shoulders. The muscles holding them near her ears relaxed.

"Relax. Trust your magic, Emma. It is yours for a purpose," Regina instructed. Her breath tickled Emma's ear as she spoke, and The Savior breathed into the sensation, eyes fluttering for a moment. She needed Regina to harness her magic – her love and tenderness, her frustration and maternal instincts regarding Henry, the affection she felt for Ruby despite having been betrayed for years by her little sister. Emma needed her family, all of them. Regina squeezed her shoulders again, and a tingle of warmth vibrated from Regina's hands.

"Locate the source of your power." Emma nodded. "You are in control of the power, Emma. It does not control you."

Emma nodded again. She reached inside that place in her chest and belly where her magic swelled against the inside of her, the manifestation of her soul. She tugged it up her arms, relaxing to make more space for it. The undulating pulse of it mimicked the thumping of her heart, and Emma held it there at the tips of her fingers, keeping it close for a moment. There was a comfort in the feeling of it saturating her veins and muscles, the wounded parts of her mind unfilled since she was a child. It slipped into the crevices like a clear polymer strengthening the cracks and divots on an antique wooden table. Her body hummed, vibrated. The magic made her dizzy, a pleasant intoxication, the first inhalation of good marijuana. Regina sighed almost noiselessly, and Emma knew she felt the comfort of it, too. Her power was a magic of healing, a magic of destruction.

Emma opened her eyes, focused on the target, and pushed the force out of her hands. A white stream hit the chalk drawing and reverberated back to them. The vault shook. Regina's hands tightened on her shoulders. An invisible force pushed them backwards. Emma moved her right foot back in a stance that helped her retain perfect balance, grounding her into the floor, shielding Regina from the recoil of power washing over them. It challenged Regina's magic protecting the vault, chipping at it. The barrier spell broke. Concrete exploded from the wall, and the vault rumbled.

"Emma, stop!" Regina yelled and let go of her. Emma tensed her muscles, staunching the flow of power to her fingertips. Regina's own magic cleared the remnants of hers out of the cold room. The floor above them shifted and rumbled. Emma pulled on her power once more and expanded it, supporting the roof above them before they were crushed. Regina stepped beside her, breathing hard but trusting Emma to hold the structural integrity of the vault. She took a deep breath and focused on the destroyed wall. Waving a hand in a wide, slow arc, Regina repaired the damage, leaving nothing but a dusting of white powder on the floor where pieces and fallen. Regina lowered her hands, and Emma tensed her muscles once more, breaking the flow of energy.

"You broke my spell," Regina said, still looking at the wall.

"I wield the power of True Love, Regina," Emma said, angling her body to face hers, though the mayor still stared across the room in shock. The Savior watched the different emotions in the muscle movements of Regina's jaw – shock to anger to awe to some sort of serenity that might have been hope.

"The only magic more powerful than my own is that of The Dark One," Regina said.

"I'm stronger." It made perfect sense now. "It's why he influenced the other timeline. I was dead there." Regina looked at her with that confession. Tears shimmered in her wide caramel eyes, disappeared with a blink.

"He had you killed?"

"I can't prove that because I died outside of Storybrooke, but I have no doubt he was involved. He was completely unprovoked when he started that war. He's afraid of me, Regina." It made perfect sense now. Perfect sense. Perfect sense. Had Gold waited for them at the portal? Had he sucked her into it to try and rid Storybrooke of her magic? Regina's eyes flickered back and forth, following Emma's thoughts though they went unspoken.

"He knew you'd find a way to return," Regina said.

"He wanted me broken," Emma added. "He wanted me to love y… her." Regina's forehead scrunched at the almost slip. Emma continued, "He wanted me to feel helpless when he started recreating the events of that timeline."

Emma touched Regina's cheek. Regina tensed, eyes searching the emerald green desperately for what happened behind them. Emma brushed a thumb over Regina's cheek.

"What if it doesn't exist anymore? What if I can't make everyone remember what happened there?"

"Emma?" Regina slipped her fingers around The Savior's wrist with the slightest pressure. Caramel eyes studied hers. Emma glanced at her lips, back up to her eyes. They were so close their breasts almost touched. This was not The Queen. Regina understood body language and emotional cues. Still, there was an innocence in her touch, a fear of rejection. Emma saw it then, saw Regina cracked open and aching. She saw her love, recognized the tenderness of her touches. Regina knew. She might not have acknowledged it yet, but somewhere inside the deep recesses of hope Regina kept locked away in the back of her mind, Regina knew that Emma had fallen in love with her. Regina felt it, too. This was real. This was what should have happened, what would have happened had she not been sucked into a time portal.

"I have to go," Emma blurted and turned away from those magnetic eyes and snagged her coat from the floor.

"Emma, wait," Regina tried, but Emma disappeared in a swirl of white smoke.

She materialized at the meeting spot and took off into the woods towards the cave, still zipping her coat. At the top of the hill, she turned and waved a hand over her footprints. The cold stung her face and lungs. She ran until she wheezed, erased her footprints and Zelena's from earlier that morning, and walked the remainder to the cave. She'd only been there once and relied on Zelena's footprints to find her way. By the time she slipped into the entrance, the cold had reached her bones again. Her back ached from the hunched position of the long corridor.

"Zelena, it's me," she called just before emerging on the other side. Zelena knelt at the edge of the darkness, bow drawn. She had shucked her coat, and the muscles in her shoulders and arms flexed and relaxed beneath the stained tank top before she lowered the weapon.

"Emma!" Belle came to her feet and rushed to the edge of the magical barrier that she'd helped Zelena set.

"What the hell are you doing, Savior?" Zelena growled.

"I need to know more about the portal. I needed to talk to you and Belle," Emma answered Zelena, but her eyes were on Belle. A rush of understanding filled her big blue eyes.

"You abducted me," Belle said and crossed her arms.

"I'm protecting you," Emma explained.

"Protecting me? I don't feel protected, Emma. I feel like I've been abducted. I would have expected this behavior from Regina or Rumpel, but not you."

Emma winced at the accusation. "I needed you out of this fight."

"That wasn't your decision to make!" Belle slammed her hands against the barrier, barely feeling the sting of magic through the anger and adrenaline in her veins. "I should not have been traumatized as a strategy. You could have told me, you could have told Ruby!"

"I watched you die, Belle!" Emma yelled back, stalking to the barrier with the toes of her boots on the line. "I watched Robin Hood slit your throat, and I watched Ruby hold you as you bled out in her arms, choking on your own blood as you tried to tell her that you loved her one last time. I don't need to explain why I'm doing what I'm doing. You have no idea what it was like for me there. Everyone I loved died. I mourned them, I'm still mourning them every day while they move around in front of me."

Emma paced back and forth in front of the barrier. Hands wringing and flying with unspoken words.

"I saw Astrid's body. She was my friend there, the first person who made me feel safe in that place. She died because I loved her. My son… Henry wasn't even Henry there. He had a different name, he was a different person, one that was hard and damaged because I couldn't love him enough to let him go."

Emma stopped pacing and turned to her, still and dangerous with the grief boiling beneath her skin.

"I felt Regina use my hand to crush her own heart to save my life and send me back to this place."

Belle gasped, stepped towards the barrier with her hands raised. Emma felt her need to comfort her even separated by the magic forcefield. She loved her friend for that, but it wasn't something she wanted.

"Regina?" Belle said, more to herself than the other two women. "This other woman was Regina?" They stared at each other for a long time before Emma felt calm enough to speak.

"I need to know if the other timeline still exists. I can't defeat The Dark One without giving into my love, but I won't force any of you to relive the hell of that place," Emma said. She let her arms hang limp at her sides, let herself be vulnerable. She needed help.

"Savior," Zelena said as she stepped beside Emma and touched her shoulder. "Emma, there isn't a way to be certain."

Emma's shoulders slumped forward, her head followed. She put her hands on her hips and took a deep breath, nodding. Zelena slipped her arm around Emma's back and pressed a kiss to her shoulder. Belle watched the interaction with an odd sort of fascination. Zelena cared for Emma, and Emma for Zelena. They loved each other in a way Robin and Regina loved each other, purely and unconditionally, a bond of the soul that made no sense to anyone else. Emma turned to Zelena, and the powerless witch wrapped her arms around Emma's back and shoulders, resting a hand on the back of her neck. It was intimate and tender, a thing beyond any image she might have associated with The Wicked Witch.

"Emma," Belle said, hating herself for interrupting the moment. The Savior straightened her back and looked over at her, keeping one arm around Zelena's back. "In my loft, there is a notebook in a chest in the closet beneath a fake bottom. All the notes I made about the time portal and the curse are there. I don't recall any information that might answer your questions, but if reading it will help ease your mind…"

Emma nodded. "Thanks, Belle." The librarian folded her arms over her stomach self-consciously. "I'm sorry I abducted you."

Belle's lips tugged into an almost smile. It was such a ridiculous situation. "I'm sorry you've experienced pain you felt you needed to endure alone. You're not alone."

Emma smiled.

"Well, if you've quite finished with your sentiment, shall we turn the conversation back to our plan, Savior?" Zelena snapped in her crass, haughty way that made Emma's smile spread painfully to its threshold. Too much emotion made Zelena grumpy. She let go of Emma and returned to the log by the fire where she watched the potion boil in the cast iron pot. A witch and her cauldron.

Emma sat cross-legged on the cold, stone floor across from Zelena and unzipped her coat. Zelena stood after a moment and went to the stockpile of items along the wall, rattling a plastic bag. She tossed a packaged hypodermic needle at Emma who caught it with both hands and returned to her perch on the log.

"How do you get this stuff?"

"It is incredible the difference dark hair, sunglasses, and lack of an accent makes to the idiot peasants of this town," Zelena replied with a shrug. Her tone wasn't accusatory or condescending, simply a statement of fact, which might have made it harsher. "The pharmacy and hospital are a bit of a challenge for thievery given the security and surveillance cameras. I simply walked in and bought them with a sob story about my grandmother's insulin injections."

Emma snorted and shoved the needle into her pocket, making a mental note to erase Zelena's tracks from town so no one got curious and followed her. Silence fell over the cave as the three women stared into the fire, lost in their own thoughts.

"My magic is stronger than Regina's," Emma said. "If I let it be," she added.

"I imagine so. Your magic is a product of your soul, Savior, not of outside influence. It's the reason The Dark One is so untouchable. The darkness is a product of one's soul. It is not the magic that corrupts it but rather the soul that corrupts the magic." Zelena stirred the pot as she spoke, the smooth stick coming up stained black. What motivated the witch, Emma still hadn't a clue.

"I remember something in Rumpel's library, a journal about his transformation. His record seems to support your theory," Belle offered from the other side of the barrier as near to the fire as was possible. "I suspect that is why he let me go the first time. His love for me weakened him because it altered his soul."

"Like pain and grief alter mine," Emma said. Belle nodded. Zelena glanced between the two without raising her head from its bent position near the pot.

Emma watched Zelena assess and reassess the situation, adjusting her emotions and thoughts to fit the reality unfolding before her. Belle had accepted her as an ally without question, and Emma trusted her enough for comfort, to be her partner in this ploy that might have killed them all. The Savior stood and pushed cold fingers through her hair.

"I need to get back. Henry will be out of school soon, and I want to make sure Ruby's doing okay," she said. She lingered though neither women said anything that would have made her stay longer.

"I'm assuming you don't intend to release me until this is over," Belle said. Emma bit the inside of her jaw. Belle pulled her knees to her chest and rested her chin on them, staring into the fire. "Take care of Ruby."

"I will."

Emma looked at her another moment and then tugged on her magic, disappearing into the space between ghost and human, corporeal and ethereal. She figured Regina had gone back to the mansion to await Henry's return from school. The foyer of the mansion flickered into reality, surrounding her in warmth and the scent of hardwood and the useless potion she'd brewed to track Belle.

"Regina?" She called, looking around for any sign of the other woman. She went to the kitchen first, found it empty. The same result in the living room sent her upstairs to check the bedroom. She tapped on the door. "Regina?" Maybe she'd gone to the diner to check on Ruby. Emma opened the door. Regina's shirt laid on the bed, covered in the dust from the vault. Emma looked around. "Regina?"

A slapping sound from the bathroom caught her attention. Adrenaline choked her as she leapt for the door and pushed it open. Regina was on the floor, a pool of blood leaking slowly from a gash in her belly. The other hand slapped at the puddle, spattering it over the white tile and wooden cabinets of the vanity. Beneath the blood, black veins spread over her belly, disappearing beneath the waist of her black skirt. Emma hit her knees, slipping in the blood, already reaching her pocket for the vial of black liquid and the syringe. Regina fought to keep her eyes open, to speak.

"Shhh, it's okay," Emma said, to herself as much as Regina. "It's going to be okay. You're going to be okay."

Emma tore open the door beneath the sink and pulled out a hair straightener. She used the cord as a tourniquet on Regina's arm, shaking as she injected the left arm then the right with the black liquid. Regina's hand fell limp on the wound as the blackness spread through her body. Emma snagged the towel hanging on the bar near the shower and pressed it to the gash and bent her head to Regina's shoulder.

"You're going to be okay," she whispered, babbling to fight the tears aching at the back of her throat. She'd let her guard down. She'd gotten distracted. Rumpel tried to kill her love, just as he'd done before, and she'd left Regina unprotected. "You have to be okay."

Emma raised her head and looked at Regina's face, eyes now closed. She either passed out or trusted Emma to handle the situation, to save her life. Emma pressed down on the wound in her belly, and cupped Regina's face with the other, smearing blood onto the quickly greying skin.

"You have to be okay, Regina. I can't do this without you." Emma leaned forward and pressed a kiss to the corner of Regina's eye. "I love you," she whispered, lips brushing the cool, clammy skin.

She tugged her magic, focused on the hospital, and pulled Regina through time and space with her.


	33. Truths

Song: Rewrite The Stars By Zendaya and Zac Efron (I'm re-purposing this to suit my own needs, and you should see this movie, and the real Barnum was a racist asshole, and... oh, hi, I promised I wouldn't abandon you.)

* * *

Emma shifted in the uncomfortable chair beside Regina's hospital bed. Wires and monitors surrounded her. A tube breathed air into the mayor's lungs. A bag of saline and a bag of blood hung from a metal pole attached to her bed. A third bag, smaller, hung from a moveable pole beside Emma's chair. The pale yellow-tinted liquid kept Regina sedated, a medically-induced coma. When Emma explained how the poisoned worked to Whale, he figured a slower heartrate and the elimination of stressors increased her chances of survival. Dark lines bloomed beneath the surface of her olive-tone skin. Emma reached out a hand, ignoring the tremor, and touched a dark vein in Regina's hand with the tip of her middle finger. She traced the hardening vein up Regina's forearm and bicep until her finger disappeared beneath the light blue hospital gown. The poison had reached as far as her shoulders, but the lines hadn't moved in an hour. Emma knew because she'd made a line with an ink pen when it looked like the damage had stopped. Beneath the gown, the gash in Regina's belly had been packed and the bleeding staunched for the moment but required further surgery if she survived the poison. Emma flexed her hands into fists, stretched her fingers. She could heal Regina's wound but not without a guide, someone to ground her.

The door latch clicked, and Emma came to her feet, tugging on her magic. Zelena barely opened the door wide enough for her slim body to slip through and shut it behind her. She wore a dark grey peacoat with a black scarf pulled up to her nose. A white knitted cap covered her lighter eyebrows and contrasted nicely with her now black hair. Only her green eyes and sharp nose were visible. She took a step forward, and Emma noticed the black boots, black leggings, and plaid skirt as Belle's.

"She's considerably shorter than I. I had to cut them," Zelena explained and pulled the skirt high enough for Emma to see makeshift garters from the elastic that used to be attached to the tops of the sheer leggings. Her hunting knife was tucked into the one on the right leg.

"Belle gave you her clothes?" Emma asked so she didn't release the hysterical bubble of laughter climbing up her throat.

"She's been quite cooperative since your visit. And chatty," Zelena added with no small amount of disdain. Tipping her chin towards Regina, she let the skirt fall back into place. "How is she?"

"It hasn't moved past that mark for about an hour," Emma said, pointing to the pen mark atop the skin that connected shoulder and neck. "I wasn't sure you'd get my text." The cave got no cell reception, not surprisingly.

"I promised to check every three hours," Zelena said, stepping closer to Regina on the other side of the bed. "I'd like to take Miss French something more comfortable while I'm in town."

Emma stared hard at the witch's face, but her expression betrayed none of her thoughts as she studied Regina's hands and neck. She tucked the blanket around her hips and raised the gown to look at her stomach, peeling back the top layer of gauze that covered the jagged edges of the wound. Emerald eyes raised to the stormy green ones studying her.

"This wound was not created by a sharp blade," she said.

Emma bent beside her. She'd not stopped long enough to notice before Whale had covered it. "What did that?"

"Serrated edge, perhaps. A pointed object that is sharp but not a knife," Zelena surmised with a shrug and covered the wound, replacing the gown over her sister's hips.

Emma watched her pull out another vile of the black antidote and a hypodermic needle. Zelena's emotions were buried beneath the task at hand, but Emma watched them in the way her eyes refused to look at Regina's face while she injected the liquid into the IV port and adjusted the flow wide open. When Zelena handed the instruments over the bed, Emma touched the back of Zelena's hand with her palm, rubbing her thumb across her knuckles.

"Do you really hate Regina?" she asked.

A muscle in Zelena's jaw jumped, but nothing else transformed from the forced placid exterior. "No," she said after a few moments. "Perhaps at one time when I perceived her actions a personal betrayal, but mostly I envied the attention our mother and The Dark One lavished upon her with barely any effort on her part."

Zelena turned her hand over and set the glass vile and needle on Emma's cupped palm, lingering with her fingertips on Emma's wrist. Emma looked at their hands, swallowing the burn of tears in her throat.

"You were a kid, Zelena," she said, voice scratchy and thick.

"Be that as it may, Savior, I was corrupted by my own perceived shortcomings, not the influence of magic or parents. I can't help but wonder… if someone had loved me as a child, told me I was special…" Zelena snorted in a self-deprecating puff of air and dropped her hand. "We get the life we're given and nothing more."

"Sometimes we get the life someone else picks for us… If Cora hadn't left you in OZ, if my parents hadn't stuck me in that tree, our lives would have been very different," Emma said.

Zelena crossed her arms and smirked, showing her teeth. She touched the left canine with the tip of her tongue, but it looked far less menacing without the red hair framing her face.

"It's adorable, you trying to draw parallels between our lives. You were predestined as The Savior of an entire kingdom, you were never going to be corrupted no matter the circumstances," Zelena bit back, and Emma bent to Regina's arm, probing it for a vein with her thumb.

She found an elastic strap in the top drawer of the cabinet and tied it around Regina's arm. Inserting the needle, she felt the tiny pop of hitting a vein, and pushed the rest of liquid into her arm before releasing the tourniquet. When she looked up, Zelena's eyes were pointed toward Regina's face.

"It's not like I was never tempted, or that I never have dark thoughts or urges. I just…" Zelena looked over at her, moving only her eyes. Emma turned and put the needle into the plastic sharps container hanging on the wall. "I just thought that I should be able to decide who I got to be. Being The Savior has been more difficult than a kid living on the street. I need to decide who I'm going to be again, and they're not happy when I don't give them what they want."

Zelena smirked, the joyous mischief reaching her eyes this time, and took the empty container, slipping it back into her pocket. "Yes, but darling, while they may believe you're mad at the moment, they'd never suspect you to behave as a villain, which is the only reason our plan has worked so far."

"How did you explain Belle's abduction to Gold?"

"Collateral," Zelena answered with a shrug, arms still crossed.

Emma chuckled a little, but it was empty as she looked at Regina's unresponsive face. Zelena took a step around the bed, the heel of Belle's boot quiet under the sound of beeping and air compression. Emma flinched slightly when Zelena touched her shoulder but then relaxed into the comfort as much as she could when every muscle in her body wanted to do something useful. Zelena used the other hand to move the gown and uncover the wound in Regina's stomach. Emma watched her remove bloody gauze from inside. A trickle of blood spilled over the side of the wound, and adrenaline surged into her chest, flushing her cheeks.

"Zelena."

"Trust me," the witch murmured, taking Emma's hand and placing it over the wound. "Trust your love for her." Zelena nodded slightly toward Regina. "Channel your power, imagine the wound healing. You don't need to see it. Trust your magic, Savior. It will find what needs repaired."

Emma nodded and closed her eyes. Her magic hummed just beneath her skin, ready to be used instead of buried deeply and ignored. The beep from the heart monitor increased, not alarmingly, and Emma eased the flow of energy into Regina's skin. She imaged veins and blood vessels healing beneath the bright white glow, skin and fibers growing at an exponential rate. In the other timeline, she'd barely had time to learn her magic, even though she'd used it. There had been no control, and given her circumstances, she wasn't surprised by that. Everything there had been fast and scary and intense. She'd been a prisoner, and somewhere in her subconscious, the stress of that made her magic more accessible but more dangerous, like when she'd thrown Hook down the stairs. Zelena tugged her hand a little, and Emma opened her eyes. Thin trails of blood soaked into the blanket around Regina's hips, but only a jagged white scar remained on her stomach.

Her hand continued glowing, and Zelena pressed her palm against it, spreading Emma's fingers with her own. The magic shone through Zelena's skin, illuminating blue blood vessels beneath peach-toned flesh. Zelena closed her eyes, gasping. Tension eased out of her shoulders. Emma watched the transformation in awe of her gift, the thing she'd spent so long loathing and fighting. It was a gift, an external manifestation of her heart, a heart of sacrifice and love and wanting to make the world better.

"You can be whoever you want to be, Zelena," she whispered, and the witch opened her eyes, glazed with the comfort of pure light magic. "Your past shaped you, but you get to decide from this moment and you get to keep deciding for the rest of your life."

"The things I've done are unforgivable," Zelena said. It wasn't laced with pity, just a fact.

"So has Regina, so has Hook. Anyone who truly loves you will be able to accept your past and see who you are in the present." The glow receded, and Emma lowered her hand slowly, releasing Zelena's.

"It is not so simple," Zelena said, hardness returning to her voice.

"I need your help with one more thing," Emma said. She didn't have time to argue with Zelena anymore that night.

"Lead the way." Zelena shoved her hands into her pockets and stepped aside.

"I'll stir some drama," Emma joked with a wink and grabbed her coat before slipping out the door. "Where the hell is Whale?" she yelled as soon as the door closed, looking around the hallway.

"Sheriff?" a nurse approached, and Emma stalked toward her but passed her, drawing her attention away from the door.

"Whale!" she yelled again.

"I'll call him, Sheriff Swan," the nurse said, pulling a cell phone from the breast pocket of her scrubs.

Emma whirled and threw her arms in the air. "Do that. He hasn't been up to check on Regina in hours. What kind of doctor leaves a critical patient unattended?"

Zelena slipped out of the door, smirking, and walked at a slow pace down the hallway, even as nurses and other staff passed her on the way to Regina's room. They probably thought something had gone terribly wrong. Emma ranted about anything that came to mind until Zelena disappeared around the corner toward the elevator.

"I need some air," she snapped at the people trying to placate her anger. "Make sure she doesn't die by the time I get back."

Zelena was inside the elevator, holding the doors open with a button. She hid her face from the cameras with a bent head and readjusted her hat lower and scarf higher when she let go of the button. When the elevator dinged on the ground floor, Emma stalked out first and gained distance between her and Zelena. People averted their gaze or watched her with bowed heads and upturned eyes. No one paid any attention to Zelena in the wake of the seemingly unstable savior tearing through the front doors. Emma glanced back to make sure Zelena saw her, then veered off to the left where two people waited for her.

"Astrid, Horace," she greeted, a genuine smile creeping along her mouth. "Everything ready to go?" she asked as Zelena stepped beside her.

"Yes, ma'am," Horace answered. He looked at Zelena, back to her, to Zelena again. Astrid grabbed his tree-trunk of an arm and gasped.

"It's okay. She's working with me," Emma explained with a wave in Zelena's general direction but didn't turn her head. "I need an update."

Horace cleared his throat, half of his attention still on Zelena. "A lot of the Black Guard are still loyal to Regina. We're happy the war is over, but…" He trailed off with a shrug. "I've ordered a soldier at every entrance and exit of the hospital and at both ends of The Que… The mayor's hallway. We'll wait in her room until you return."

Emma gave a curt nod. "If you see Gold, don't engage. I don't want anyone to get hurt. Just call me. I'll be here in a flash. Make sure they look as casual as possible. No one needs to know what we're doing here."

Horace nodded. "Won't be a problem."

"Emma, what's happening?" Astrid asked. She looked scared but ready for whatever battle was coming their way.

"You should go home, Astrid. Gold might get suspicious if he sees you here. I don't want you to get hurt," Emma said, touching the fairy's shoulder.

"The fairies hate Regina. She almost annihilated our entire species. No one would suspect me of doing her a favor, and I want to help," Astrid countered. Her spine straightened a little, growing stronger as the firmness of her tone solidified.

"Why?" Zelena blurted. She tried but failed to understand how her sister had inspired any kind of loyalty after her heinous crimes.

The fairy looked at her without fear this time. "It took a lot of courage to do what she did." Her eyes glanced up at Horace's. "She didn't have to return those hearts, but she's changed. And anyone who tries that hard to fix her mistakes, even when she knew returning those hearts would make people hate her more, should be given the chance to do so."

Zelena shifted uncomfortably and turned her head toward the street. A stream of white breath flowed from her mouth. Emma wanted to touch her, but it wasn't the time. She focused on Horace and Astrid.

"Be careful. I won't be long," she said and grabbed Zelena's arm.

When they reached the sidewalk, they broke into a run. Zelena followed a step behind but kept pace without strain. When they hit the main stretch of town, Emma slipped into the alley by the electronics store and went to the back. Kneeling on the snow-covered stoop, she pulled a black pouch out of her coat pocket and unrolled it in the snow. She selected two instruments and placed them one at a time into the lock, wiggling them into position. The knob and then the deadbolt gave way under her skilled hands, and Zelena's eyebrows were reaching for her hat when she looked up at her. She shrugged and replaced the tools.

"I picked up some stuff living on the streets. Made me a helluva bounty hunter," she said and opened the door. "Wait here."

Emma closed her eyes, tapping into her magic. When her hands burned, she waved them over her face and hair and then her body. Zelena gasped as an image of Rumpelstiltskin appeared where Emma stood before.

"I've been reading Regina's spell books while I waited for you," the image of Gold said in Emma's voice. "I can't hold this very long, I just need to fool the cameras in case they notice anything missing."

Emma dashed into the dark store, scanning the shelves and glass-topped counters for what she wanted in the dim light provided by the streetlamp outside the store's large window. The small, square device was behind the counter locked in a case, and she jimmied that lock open quickly, took what she needed, and locked it back. She grabbed the right batteries from a rack on her way out. The entire process took less than three minutes, and she took the time to replace the dead bolt and knob lock. The glamor spell faded before she finished.

"What is that?" Zelena asked.

"Cell phone jammer," Emma answered.

"Emma, what are we doing?" Zelena asked, following The Savior as she took off again.

They stayed behind the buildings on the main stretch of town until they reached the back of the diner. Emma opened the box, took out the device, and tossed the cardboard into the dumpster. She inserted the batteries and switched on the device, setting it beside the wall. Zelena scoffed in disgust when she reached inside the dumpster and pulled out a plain white trash bag and set it on the ground.

"Start pouring this around the perimeter of the diner," Emma instructed and handed her a gallon-sized Ziploc bag. "I had Regina teach me how to set a barrier spell. If I set it with my magic, Gold shouldn't be able to break it."

"What is the point of this?" Zelena asked, confused but serious enough that Emma paused for a moment and looked at her.

"If they can't communicate with the outside world, no one will know what's going on inside. I convinced Mom and Dad to stay there with Henry and Neal. Robin is there, and Roland. Ruby and Granny. Everyone I love, except for Hook, is inside this building, and after tonight, no one but me will be able to go in or out of it. I won't lose any of them again, and I can't fight this fight if I think that I will," Emma explained. "Did you really think I was just sitting around wringing my hands beside Regina all night while I waited for you?"

The hint of a grin tugged Zelena's lips. "Remove the players, and Rumpel has no choice but to confront you directly. Why abduct the librarian?"

"Because I didn't know if it would work, and she's the most vulnerable because of Gold's feelings for her." Emma flashed a mischievous smile. "Besides, I didn't want you to be lonely in that cave, and if anyone can keep reminding you of your humanity, it's Belle French. You'll be braiding each other's hair in no time."

Emma clapped her on the arm and unzipped the bag in her hands. She stopped at the corner of the diner and cut the phone and Internet cords on the side of the diner, an old setup that left it vulnerable. Zelena had just rounded the corner when she reached the front walk. Ruby sat on the steps, cup of something hot and steaming between her hands.

"Ruby?" Emma asked, and Zelena froze in her peripheral vision.

Ruby's glazed eyes focused, first on Emma's face and then the bag in her hand. "What are you doing?"

"Protecting you," Emma said.

Ruby's squinted, then her eyes shot open in understanding. Emma glanced at Zelena holding her position at the corner. Ruby whipped her head to the side.

"Emma, don't…" Ruby started.

The Savior threw out her hand, and the wolf flew backward into the diner, landing hard on her back. It knocked the wind out of her, unaccustomed to feeling normal human sensations. Zelena was already moving, and Emma met her, completing the circle, luckily not running out of the powder Regina showed her how to mix. She uttered the incantation and aimed her magic at the circle. Ruby reached the door as the shield came into place and bounced back, trapped within the walls of the diner.

"Emma, don't do this!" She slapped the barrier and shook her hand to ease the shock she'd received.

"Why can't I hear her?" Zelena said.

"Because I don't want you to," Emma answered and stepped closer to the barrier. "I need you to trust me, Ruby."

"Where's Belle?" Ruby asked, desperate and angry and helpless.

Guilt churned in Emma's belly. "She's safe. I promise."

"What happened to you over there?" Ruby asked, the whine in her voice told Emma how close she was to deteriorating mentally.

"I lost you and Belle and Regina and Henry once, Ruby. I won't survive if I lose you again. I'm sorry." Emma turned her back on her best friend.

"What did Zelena say to make you turn on us?" Ruby yelled, and Emma's step faltered, but she never looked back.

Snow began falling halfway back to the hospital, light flakes that glittered in the lamplights. Zelena touched her bicep, stopping both of them between two streetlights. Emma couldn't meet her eyes, so she looked at the tracks in the snow atop the sidewalk. Zelena huffed and crossed her arms.

"I must return to Miss French. I imagine the fire is getting low," Zelena said, but her tone was unidentifiable, flat and almost defeated.

"You're upset because I didn't tell you what I was doing," Emma concluded aloud.

"You're being reckless, but it's close enough to madness that it might work," Zelena said, not smiling but at least she looked at Emma with respect. She reached into her coat pocket and pulled out a second vile of the antidote and another syringe. "Give this to Regina in four or five hours. I'm creating more as we speak, but it's a lengthy process to create such a concentrated dose. I'll have more by morning."

Emma nodded. "Thank you. Be safe."

She disappeared in a swirl of smoke, reappearing outside the hospital. Tucking the medicine into her pocket, she walked through the automated doors. People glanced up, but she must have seemed less scary because no one flinched this time. She glanced around the waiting room at the front entrance, looking for the guard Horace had planted and was relieved when she couldn't identify him or her. Better for them if she didn't know, they were safer that way. She texted Astrid while she waited for the elevator. It would have been faster to use magic, but she'd scared the hell out of the town enough for the moment. Using magic in front of them for anything would have deepened that fear. Plus, she'd always liked riding in elevators since she was a kid.

Horace and Astrid were in the waiting room just down the hall from Regina's room, but he never looked up from the magazine in his huge hands. He must have been a helluva captain in Regina's guard, though she knew that came with unnecessary violence. Astrid, untrained as she was, glanced up but didn't wave or smile in greeting. They'd left Regina's room and settled themselves in the waiting area in the time it took her to ride the elevator two floors. Talented guard, indeed, Emma thought as she opened the door to Regina's room and closed it behind her.

"Hey," she said, treating Regina like she could hear her. "Everyone's safe tonight." She sat down in the chair and took Regina's hand in both of hers. "You don't have to worry about anything but getting better, okay. I'm taking care of everything else."

She kissed the back of Regina's hand, holding it against her lips. For the first time since finding Regina, tears trickled onto her cheeks. They slid into the crease of skin where lips met hand and slid down Regina's wrist and her chin. Emma closed her eyes and bowed her forehead to Regina's hand.

"Just wake up. That's all you have to do, okay? Just get better. I'll take care of everything else."

But Regina didn't wake up, not that she even could with all the sedatives in her system, and the only sounds keeping The Savior company were her own quiet gasps and sniffles and the slow, steady beep of Regina's heart on the monitor.


	34. Casualty

Here be another goodie for you, loves.

Songs: This Is War by 30 Seconds to Mars, Fix You by Mysha Didi

* * *

Zelena walked through the empty town. Her joints ached from extended cold exposure, but she dared not stop. Belle depended on her return for warmth and replenishment of food within her barrier. She was annoyed that she cared when she felt nothing toward the librarian. Belle French meant nothing to her, not even a target of anger for Rumpel's abandonment. She cared because Emma cared about Belle's safety, and Zelena cared for the broken savior. Across her shoulders, she redistributed the weight of the heavy backpack she'd stolen from the library. It hadn't been necessary to take books to the cave, a ludicrous idea, really, but they might keep Belle from constantly chattering at her while they plotted and schemed. Emma's powers grew stronger each time they saw one another, and for the first time, she felt hope in their victory against Rumpelstilskin.

The wind off the sea stuck to the side of her face in a frozen sheen, and she pulled the scarf higher around her cheeks. Moving straight down the main street would have been faster than the detour by the wharf, but her load slowed her down more than she felt comfortable. This time of year, no one wandered around the docks this late at night, except her but she accepted her insanity as such and plodded forward. A figure stepped around the one-room office building, jarring her from the theory of no one skulking about in the frozen air. Her body jolted back, hands on the backpack straps, ready to drop it and flee.

"Hello, lass," a lilted accented voice called from the darkness. He didn't seem surprised to see her.

"Evening, Captain," she called back, holding her position steady.

He ambled forward a few steps into the light mounted at the corner of the building where she stood. "Helluva a night for walk," he said casually, squinting up at the crystalline flakes falling around them, but something in his tone scraped her fight or flight response.

"I loathe small talk," she answered like it explained everything. He took a swig from the flask in his hand and held it out to her. With a shrug, she slipped the backpack from her shoulders, letting it drop to the ground behind her. "May as well take a load off."

She took a drink from the flask, wincing into the spicy burn of rum. It warmed her instantly from the inside out, a fake warmth but one that eased her aching joints and muscles. He took it back and wandered toward the railing at the edge of the walkway, leaning both elbows on it heavily. "You shouldn't have come here, lass," he said, sloshed back a long swig.

"Why aren't you afraid of me? Or at the very least sounding the alarms?" Zelena asked. Maybe Emma had filled him in on their plan. She trusted Hook but obviously didn't worry for his safety like the rest of the people in her life.

"I'm beyond fear, love," he said, not quite slurring. He sounded defeated, tortured and out of touch with reality.

"Are you alright?" Zelena asked. She took a step toward the former pirate, then another when he stayed bent over the icy railing.

"I thought I'd have more time," he said, voice muffled in his arms. He growled, staining his back into an arch like he was in pain.

Zelena reached out to touch him, hovered just above his shoulder. He wasn't hers to comfort, but he meant something to Emma. "More time for what?" She didn't have time for this.

"I can't fight his will, love. Apologies," Hook said as he straightened up. Even in the darkness, Zelena saw the agony in his eyes.

She knew that look. "How long has he possessed you heart?" He stumbled forward, and she caught his shoulders, holding him upright. "How much has Emma told you?" He grabbed her shoulders, hook glinting in the blue glow of the light. Zelena looked at the flecks of dark red sticking to the metal. "You poisoned Regina."

He ducked his head, groaning. His fingertips dug into her shoulder, shooting an ache all the way to her fingertips. Zelena jerked back, but his superior physical strength held her close to him, hook piercing the back of her shoulder. She felt blood trickle across her shoulder blade and soak into her bra and Belle's shirt. She threw the heel of her hand upward, catching beneath his nose. Cartilage crunched beneath her hand, but he held his ground, pulling her closer. A sound of pain tore from her throat. His hook dug deeper into her skin. She lifted her knee, finding his crotch in the close proximity. He yelled and stumbled backwards but didn't fall.

"Captain, you don't have to do this," Zelena said, hands up in a defensive position.

She didn't have time to run. He charged her wildly. Blood covered his mouth and the scruff on his chin. Zelena rolled out of the way, skidding in the snow, scrambling for balance. She looked up to find the pirate with his hand and hook pressing into his temples. She stood up, backing away for safety.

"I know you're working with her. I've been following you all night," Hook said.

"Does he know?" she asked.

Hook shook his head. "Not yet, lass. I was ordered to kill you if I discovered you betrayed Crocodile."

"Let me go. Let me help you. I can make an elixir to sedate you until we can recover your heart," Zelena bargained. Her little cave would be full by the time this ended.

"It was a smart move, Swan, suppressing the wolf and abducting her librarian. The only person everyone else would rally around. She knew Ruby would go where she felt least vulnerable, to her grandmother, and everyone else followed," Hook said, talking more to himself than to her.

"The elixir is an herbal supplement I concocted. Mostly muscles relaxants mixed with Emma's magic to make it linger in the system. It will work its way out in a few days. We can help you, too," Zelena said, hoping her voice grounded him, that the proof of her and Emma's combined power helped him hold onto his sanity.

He turned his bent head, peering at her around his shoulder. "No one can help me, witch."

Zelena dove for the snow again, hating the restrictive coat, narrowly missing the hook swinging at her head. Snow and slush burned her bare legs and ass, and there was no way anyone would ever wear the leggings again. The boots, however, were solid-soled but pliable. She felt sure of her footing when Hook came at her again, but she wasn't trained in hand-to-hand combat. She was scrappy, sure, but most of her fighting had been done through magic. Fear kept her moving, electrified her body with adrenaline and stubbornness.

Zelena ducked another swing and threw her fist into Hook's ribs, dashing by him before he recovered his balance. She felt him move with her. A fist in her hair jerked her backwards, and she tipped off balance to the edge of Belle's boot heel before flying forward again. Zelena barely covered her head with her arms before the railing collided with her body. Her grunt echoed over the frozen water. She slumped to the ground, vision wobbling at the edges.

A hand pulled her shoulder to the ground, and Hook's weight pinned her at the hips. Zelena grabbed his wrist with both hands, holding the metal protruding from his arm above her face.

"Fight this!" she yelled, uncaring if anyone heard her. "You cannot allow him to win."

Her arms shook with the effort. The point of metal came closer with each breath. He leaned forward, putting his weight on the arm, and she pushed back, screaming. He wrapped a hand around her throat, pressing his thumb into her trachea, cutting off the sound slamming against the pressure. She tried to breath, but a gasping, choking sound omitted from her throat. Heat rushed to her head. Her legs flailed. Bracing her left elbow against the ground, she let the hook come mere centimeters from her jaw. Her eyelids fluttered against the black spots forming in her vision. She reached around his thigh, grabbed the knife tucked into the garter.

He shook her neck, and her arm went limp from lack of oxygen. Numb and tingling, she thrust the appendage upward at his chest. Instinct and survival ruled her actions. The blade met resistance, and she kept pushing until the fingers around her throat loosened. Warm liquid gushed over her hand and wrist, soaking through her coat. She coughed, sucked air, cough again.

"Hook," she gasped. Her voice was thick and rough, and she knew she'd be talking with a raspy voice until the damage in her throat healed.

The pirate fell onto his side, one leg still over hers. She scrambled backward, digging heels and hands into the snow in a crab crawl. Footsteps echoed down the dock in the now silent night air. Zelena surged forward and rolled the man onto his back. He gasped a few times. Her head pounded, regaining equilibrium, and she blinked away the dizziness and covered the wound with both hands. She sucked in freezing air, ignoring the scent and taste of blood.

"No. No, no, no. Don't die. Please don't die," she begged.

He pulled in a breath, and a wet gurgling sound accompanied the involuntary action. His mouth moved like he tried to speak, but only choked, drowning crackling came out. She'd definitely punctured a lung, probably severed a major artery if the amount of blood gushing from his mouth and wound indicated anything. She glanced over her shoulder and saw three men coming down the wharf, a fourth flipped on the light in the cabin of his ship and stepped outside. It was too late for Hook. There was nothing she could do for him.

"I'm sorry," she whispered.

Zelena grabbed the backpack, slung it over her shoulders and took off down the walkway toward the woods. Hopefully Hook distracted the men long enough for her to escape. Cutting up toward town, she mingled with the tracks covering the sidewalk by the cannery and followed it along the main stretch of town before turning up beside the diner, lit up and glowing upstairs and down. They'd never be able to follow her tracks, but she sprinted until she reached the woods. Shaking from the adrenaline and the cold, she stopped long enough to slip into the buckskin pants she'd left buried in a bundle beside a large fir tree. They made moving through the deep snow much less excruciating, protecting her from the cold.

She shouldn't have wandered off alone. She should have let Emma bring her back. Why had they split up? Because The Savior played out her own agenda with a set of rules she hadn't shared, Zelena answered in her head.

By the time she reached the steep incline, she barely had enough muscle control to pull herself up the side of the hill with the rope. The half-moon was low in the sky, signaling the coming of morning in a few short hours. She dropped the backpack in the snow outside the cave, tucked the rest of her clothes tighter against her armpit, and slid into the entrance, dragging the pack behind her. She should have called Emma and told her about Hook. She didn't know what to say. Everything ached, and the arch of her back required to pass the last portion of the tunnel made her ribs and hips cramp. Belle perked up, barely visible in the dying light of the fire. Zelena released her load and grabbed wood from the stack along the wall and brought two pieces to the fire ring.

"What happened?" Belle asked, standing at the edge of her barrier, a blanket wrapped around her from the waist down where she was naked save her panties. "How is Regina?"

Zelena stoked the fire, added the fresh blocks. She dragged the backpack to the barrier and tossed it over the edge. Belle looked at it but remained standing near the edge. Crossing her arms, the librarian leveled a gaze at Zelena, a no-nonsense glare that made Zelena look away. She unbuttoned the coat and let it slide off her shoulders onto the floor.

"Is that blood?" Belle blurted. She grabbed the LED lantern she'd been conserving until the fire went out completely and turned it on the highest setting. "Zelena, what happened?"

"I was attacked," she said simply.

"By whom?" Belle demanded, pressing dangerously close to the static charge of the barrier.

A dark bruise bloomed across Zelena's neck. A wound in her shoulder wept blood that soaked half of her back. Her skin glowed red from the cold when she removed the shirt, jerking the front flaps and sending buttons plinking over the cave floor. Some splotches were darker, and Belle wandered if those were the starts of bruises, too.

"Zelena, what happened?" Belle demanded, voice pitching upward with panic.

Zelena poured a bottle of water onto the fabric and over her hands, scrubbing them frenetically with the ruined shirt. Tiny high-pitched sounds flowed from her mouth as she cleaned her skin, fervent in the task long after the blood had visibly disappeared from her flesh. When she noticed some of the dried liquid on her belly, she began the process anew, desperate sounds growing in strength.

"Zelena?" Belle yelled and slapped the barrier.

"Do you ever shut up?" Zelena screamed. The sound of her scratchy voice echoed around the cave.

They stared at each other, accompanied by the crack pop of the fire coming back to life. After a moment, Zelena returned to the task of cleaning blood off her stomach and hips. Belle watched, waited. The witch scratched at her stomach, turning it red from the abuse, then stopped abruptly. She covered her face with one hand, shoulders drooping forward.

"Damn it," she whispered. Her body shook, trying to cry, but her eyes refusing the request. "Damn it!" she yelled, throwing the shirt at the edge of the cliff. It landed a few feet from her, crumpled and stained.

"Zelena?" Belle asked, quiet, afraid to intrude but compelled to help.

"I killed him," Zelena said. Her hands dropped to her sides, back stooping with the weight of her actions.

"Who?"

Zelena turned to look at the other woman, shirtless and bleeding and undone. Her stomach muscles shivered in the cold, gooseflesh pricking her nerve endings. "Rumpel has possessed Captain Hook's heart, it seems."

"You killed Hook?"

"It was an accident," Zelena defended, but there was no fight in her tone. "He attacked me."

Belle opened her mouth, closed it. It went unsaid that Emma was going to be devastated, but not unheard. "You're bleeding. Come here and I'll tend to your wound."

Zelena was too numb to argue. She found the emergency first aid kit she'd put together, grabbed a bottle of water, and towel. Taking a moment to decide, she plucked up her knapsack and brought it with her. She crossed the barrier and dropped cross-legged onto the bedroll.

"I brought you clothes," Zelena said.

Belle looked down at the forgotten backpack, then knelt, pulling out a pair of jeans she rarely wore and some thick wool socks. She slipped into them and sighed. Zelena didn't look up when she collected the items from her lap and sat behind her on the flat mattress that looked like an old futon couch someone had thrown out. Zelena opened the draw-stringed bag and felt around for what she wanted. Her fingertips grazed the rough metal of the baby rattle she'd stolen from a marketplace in Oz. Belle dabbed at her skin with a gentleness she felt she didn't deserve, and she held the rattle to her chest.

"What's that?" Belle asked, sounding disinterested, and Zelena recognized the distraction tactic but felt gratitude that the younger woman had tried.

"A trinket from OZ," she answered, surprised by her own willingness to talk.

"Do you miss it?" Belle asked.

"Parts," Zelena said, and it was the truth. "I think I miss coosaberries the most."

"Giant sweet cherries," Belle said. Zelena looked over her shoulder. Belle shrugged, folded a piece of gauze, and swiped at the blood around the wound. "At the grocery store during summer when they're in season, they sell large cherries that are nearly identical in texture and sweetness. Careful, they have large seeds, though."

Zelena snorted and looked down at the rusted rattle cradled in both hands in her lap. "Some things cannot be found in this world."

"Is that why you needed the portal?" Belle asked, seemingly beyond caring if she pushed too much as far as Zelena could tell. Emma was right. Belle had a certain touch, a capacity for forgiveness and understanding that allowed her to love enough to care for Rumpelstiltskin, though that love faded in absolution as time passed.

When she remained quiet, Belle didn't push her. The librarian asked, "This?" and held a small glass jar of antiseptic poultice she'd made. Zelena nodded. "Did you bind this with honey?" came the next question, and Zelena actually smiled. Belle's mind fascinated her, questioning everything, soaking up knowledge for the sake of possessing it. She'd only spent a day with the younger woman, but she saw her already, felt comfortable in her curious presence.

"I'm sorry," Zelena said, not even knowing herself that the words needed to be said. She glanced over her shoulder. "For yelling at you."

"I've endured worse," Belle joked. "Apology accepted." She wrapped gauze over the bandage, tucking it uncomfortably in her armpit, but it couldn't be avoided. "Now, if you'll convince Emma to let me leave this circle, I'd forgive both of you for traumatizing me unnecessarily."

Zelena chuckled and stood, shoving the rattle back into her bag. She collected the supplies and stepped back over the barrier, leaving them on the floor of the other side. There was work left to do before she could sleep. The elixir that kept Regina alive waited in the big pot on the stone ring around the fire. It probably hadn't heated long enough to be effective, so she stoked the fire and gave it a stir. Belle unpacked the books from her bag and settled onto the bedroll, satisfied for the moment. Everything hurt, her body and her soul, and Zelena wanted to take something that made her sleep all night.

"Regina is stable for the moment," she finally answered Belle's question.

The librarian looked up, nodded with a forced smile, and went back to the book in her hands. Zelena stirred and waited. With her back to Belle, she stared into the fire, unblinking. The dancing flames blurred, and she closed her eyes. A tear tipped over the rim of her eye and slid down her cheek, silent and unnoticed save the itchy trek it left upon her skin. She was too afraid of the nightmares in her mind to sleep anyway.


End file.
